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Author of 62 Stories |
This is a little bit silly actually, but it kept invading my head, so there...
Five dreams of love and pain
It was a little greyish stone that changed to a light blue colour when put into the direct light of the sun; it was perfectly round but for a small wrinkle only noticeable when touching it with a sensible finger. A trinket, really, but it had made Obi-Wan think about Qui-Gon’s eyes and, in one of the few impulses he allowed himself, he had bought it for him.
Now he just had to reunite the guts to give it to him. He did.
The night he gave it to him with innocent eyes and a shy smile, Qui-Gon kissed him for the first time with soft, firm and urgent lips.
The next time he saw the little stone, it was on the hands of his lover while he laid on his arms, dying. Qui-Gon confessed that he had carried it with him all along, as a constant remainder of pure, devoted love and that it seemed it was time for Obi-Wan to take it back and give it to someone else. He never did.
Sometimes, at night, he would take it out of his pocket, where it always laid, heavy and sad, and he would think of Qui-Gon’s eyes and cry. Miserable and tired, he would fall asleep clutching his pillow tightly, not once looking into bright blue eyes, the ones belonging to his padawan, looking into his with more than sweet affection while he tucked him in and pressed a soft kiss to his temple.
Now he just had to reunite the guts to give it to him. He didn’t.
He regretted it years later, when Qui-Gon died between his helpless arms. He looked at it then and decided to drown his sorrows with an old friend. Quinlan held him, made him drink and, when Obi-Wan gave him the stone and asked him to destroy it, he made love to him.
The next time he saw the little stone, it was on the hands of his lover while he got dressed to go back to his own quarters. Obi-Wan ignored it and asked Quinlan to stay the night, but he just shrugged and smiled, as always, and said goodbye with a kiss. Before he could leave, Obi-Wan called him a selfish bastard and, while looking at the stone, Quinlan told him that he had always been one of those.
When Obi-Wan went out of his room to drown his miseries, he found Anakin there, looking at him with hurt in his eyes.
“I would never…” Anakin murmured between his clenched teeth, and Obi-Wan knew it was probably true. Still, he pointed to Anakin’s room and sighed.
“Go to sleep, padawan.”
Now he just had to reunite the guts to give it to him. He didn’t.
He regretted it years later, when Qui-Gon died between his helpless arms. He looked at it then and decided to keep it for himself, as a remainder of stupid insecurities and of rushed decisions not taken. He put it inside his pocket, and with the years, forgot about it.
The next time he saw the little stone, it was on his very own hands while he died on the arms of his former padawan. Anakin looked as helpless as he had all those years ago, with tears sliding down his cheeks and an unspoken plea between parted lips. He sobbed, and so, Obi-Wan put the little stone between his hands, and exhaled his last sigh.
Now he just had to reunite the guts to give it to him. He didn’t.
He regretted it years later, when Qui-Gon died between his helpless arms. He had looked at it then and, when a small hand had touched his shoulder and a soft voice had asked if he was all right, he had decided to get rid of it. And so, senator Amidala, then queen of Naboo, had taken his trinket.
The next time he saw the little stone, it was on the hands of his former padawan while he threatened him with a bright blue lightsaber. The senator, his wife, laid on the floor unconscious, and Obi-Wan hated himself for being so blind.
I loved you, he had screamed, but it had been far too late for that.
Now he just had to reunite the guts to give it to him. He didn’t.
He regretted it years later, when Qui-Gon died between his helpless arms. He looked at it then and decided to get rid of it, so he left it casually on a control panel of the ship and forgot about it.
The next time he saw the little stone, it was on the hands of his former padawan while he awoke at a hospital bed. Obi-Wan had gotten injured in their last mission and, as always, Anakin had been watching him for what had probably been days. He looked at the little stone and Anakin, surprised, hid it in his palm.
“It belonged to you once, didn’t it?” he murmured, touching his hand to Obi-Wan’s forehead.
“Yes, I bought it for Qui-Gon.”
“Then,” Anakin stammered, blushed a little, “then maybe you should have it back,” and so Anakin put the little stone on Obi-Wan’s palm. He looked at it for a little while and then, gave it back to Anakin.
“You keep it.”
And while Obi-Wan closed Anakin’s hand over the stone, Anakin leaned closer, just a little bit closer, and kissed him for the first time with shy, scared and curious lips. Then Obi-Wan held him, and he kept doing it for the rest of his life, while the stone stayed inside Anakin’s pocket, as a remainder of pure, devoted love.