A/N: I've been wanting to do another fan fiction after completing "Mona Lisa Overdrive", since I'm a complete nerd and feel sad if I'm not working on another project. However, this is actually not a new idea–I've had this type of idea for the longest time, but never really acted upon it. I figured, "I have some 'free time' for this, so why not just write it?" It's a one-shot (again), and will actually be only one chapter this time (not some weird type of three-shot)! Axel's the one who is narrating, and is just something that, while not the most original idea, I've been having fun with. I have been listening to the song "Amber" by Dir En Grey for this story, and the tone of the song is, I believe, perfect for this. So, hence the title for the story. Not very original, I know–sumimasen. I also am a huge Axel fangirl, so that also is part of why I'm writing an Axel-POV story. Plus, almost nobody really writes these, which makes me a bit sad. I wouldn't say this is a shonen-ai story, though Axel's feelings I suppose could borderline on romantic love. I'll leave that decision up to readers as to what it really is. :winks: I'm sure that my characterization of Axel is probably a bit askew, but oh well. I suppose that's a risk I'm willing to take. Most of it is simply Axel rambling on a bit about what he thinks, so again, sorry about that. It's not as good a story as one could hope, but I did my best! As for Axel capitalizing words like "he" and such for Roxas, it's a sign of endearment and respect–not to mention to differentiate between Sora and Roxas. :bows:

AMBER

Those eyes. They were the same as His. . . cerulean twins that withheld nothing from me. He was nearly grown, teenage boy that he was, but he acted for all the world like a child. He knew nothing about the outside world, was unaccustomed to pain and suffering that could leave deeper scars than haunting memories. He thought that I was such a villain. That much was obvious–the way he set those plush lips into a pout of a scowl said more than his self-righteous speeches or the way he waved around that precious Keyblade of his, as if he was some storybook hero. Urgh . . . precious "Keyblade master" Sora . . . how he made me sick! Always acting as if he were filled to the brim with a morality that supposedly I would never have. He'd spent his entire life swinging around a wooden sword and smelling like palm trees, his shoes having half the beach's sand in them as he romped around the beach all day–Sora knew nothing of the bittersweet reality that he had been so lovingly spared on that tropical paradise.

He seems to forget that he didn't have a heart himself at a point, due to his own foolishness. Ah, his selflessness is admirable, but nonetheless he was foolish. Because he decided to play the role of the hero . . . now He won't ever return. The act of a single fool has rippled, which I have no doubt that everyone's sweet little savior did not consider at the time. Kairi, Riku, Sora, Roxas, Namine, me . . . why should a single heart affect so many others?

Roxas has had to pay the most dearly for everything, simply because Heis nature's perverse mistake in the deepest workings and anomalies of the heart. He was never meant to exist–had Sora been one of a weaker heart, He would never have come to be. Perhaps these mistakes are both a blessing and a curse–for me at least, it's been a melancholy mixture of the two. He's the boy I'll always remember, and the person I wish I could forget. For though we were friends, and I've been able to have had such fond memories of those happier days, I would do anything to reverse the events that ripped apart our hearts and bodies, twisting Him and I, amongst countless others, into these . . . things, these sins against nature. Roxas was blessed to be able to join back into the body of His original form, having His happy ending. I deeply regret having to snatch Him from His little paradise of Twilight Town, for there He was truly happy as a Nobody. Though I would have preferred that He never become one at all, at least in the fake Twilight Town He could live out the life that was taken from Him so early, and have a slice of heaven before reality came crashing down. He could make friends, hold play fights and win trophies, and could enjoy languid days that consisted of little more than bantering with friends on the top of a clock tower, licking away at sweet ice cream without a care in the world. He could be a Nobody but actually be somebody, and have a life other than the omnipresent despair of working for the Organization. In my spite, I'm glad that some of the other Organization members tried to rebel, for it would not have set off the chain of events that led to Sora needing to regain those twisted memories, and the need for a make believe realm for Roxas.

I still remember my life before I died so lucidly, which is something I have never revealed to anybody but Roxas–it is not looked upon kindly in the Organization to dwell upon the life we've lost. I have asked before if they can remember anything at all, and of course none of the others do, including Roxas. He doesn't remember anything about Sora or the way he lost his heart . . . nothing. I have tried in vain to tell Him in the hopes that perhaps it'll refresh His memories, but being as infernally polite as Sora, He would always smile and say that He just doesn't remember. This upset me–why was it that I could remember the life of the one who gave his body as a Nobody, but nobody else could?

I wouldn't care so much if it wasn't for the way that this person died–the person whose body wound up giving me fruition. For he died in such a tragic fashion, disturbingly similar to the way Sora himself had lost his heart. I can recall that a gorgeous blond woman–I'm guessing his girlfriend or wife–had gotten into a tussle with some street thug, who was diving at her and trying to stab her. Well, my maker (fitting name, don't you think?) tried valiantly to save her, but in the process had been stabbed in the chest. That thug had naturally left to avoid getting caught, leaving this poor man to die in the girl's arms. Of course, the man had a strong heart, for how else could I have been made, and thrown into this sham of an existence? Roxas had been born in almost the same way, though of course His maker had done it on purpose, but for the same general reason of saving the girl he loved. Perhaps this was part of why we bonded as closely as was possible for Nobodies–we were the progeny of tragedy, and nature's mistakes that, while being remnants, wish desperately to be whole.

"Nobody would miss me."

Did He truly believe those words? Even while wandering the dingy alleyways, I still hear his words as clearly as if he were right at my side, and each time they play in my head, they still hurt as acutely. He may have been my soft spot despite my best efforts to hide it, but He caused me more pain than anybody else. The mere sight of those angelic eyes squinting slightly as He smiled was enough to make my heart drop, for I knew that soon He would be gone. I'd been foolish to attach myself to Him, for I knew that Roxas only existed because Sora needed him to. Once Roxas's use was gone, so was the only other Nobody that made me feel like . . . like I was alive. To laugh with him was like an elixir I so desperately needed, to share my memories and for Him to simply listen to my word was a remedy for the loneliness I'd felt so long. Amongst thousands upon thousands of Nobodies, I felt utterly alone, for none cared for the others. They truly had no hearts, but Roxas . . . He gave me the faith that I could continue on, at a time when I was considering throwing myself into Sora's arms so he could end it for me. Life is so much more worth the living, sham as it is, if you have at least another soul to share that life with.

Roxas . . . you made me feel alive, at a time when everything all around me was withering to death. All the fears and despairs were melted away, and I could sing a new song of laughter after eternities of silent mourning. You gave me a glimpse into light after shirking amongst shadows for so long–you were born of light and darkness, after all. But most of all, I really do believe you were the best thing that could happened to me. Others called you a mistake, a fluke–I considered you a miracle and a sunbeam after the storm. Even while dwelling on the outskirts of darkness, you were a blessed beam of light. After all the struggling, we can finally sleep forever underneath the blue sky.

A/N: Yes, I know, uber crappy and short story that didn't really do much in terms of plot or emotion. I had to get it off my shoulders, and I really enjoyed writing it. I don't know if you enjoyed reading it, but at least I tried. The last line is actually a song lyric from "Passion", the Japanese theme song for Kingdom Hearts II–a translation, to be precise. I thought it would be a good way to end it and show finality. So, what did you think? Good? Bad? Cheesy? Utter crap? Let me know! Sorry if I disappointed some readers, but I personally like how this came out, which is very rare since I'm almost never satisfied with my work. I'm not sure if you guys will like this Axel rambling as well, so let me know about it! But yeah, reviews are very much appreciated::bows: