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It feels so strange, thought Sokka. I used to wish he'd go, but now-- he didn't dare finish the thought, afraid of where it would lead. He continued to sharpen his boomerang, trying not to look up. He could almost feel Zuko's intense gaze settle on him, and began to wish that he would look away, or at least say something. The silence had been deafening since the night before, and Sokka didn't intend to be the one to break it. Zuko was the cause of this awkwardness, and he should be the one to end it.
He's still ignoring me? thought Zuko fiercly. I thought he'd understand-- I thought he'd be over it by now! He exhaled sharply and strode quickly out of camp. It wasn't just that Sokka was being unnessicarily stubborn and childish that caused Zuko to walk away. It was the fact that every time he looked at Sokka a wave of mixed emotions crashed over him: guilt, anger, anxiety and something else that he couldn't quite name.
The anger didn't bother him unduly. Sokka was being unreasonable, and Zuko, in his mind, had every reason to be angry with him. The guilt he felt was a little troubling, as was the anxiety. Perhaps he felt guilty because of what he was going to do, and anxious to see what repercussions would occur. But that last feeling that he couldn't quite place-- he felt like he knew it somehow, he knew what it was called. He'd felt it before, but it had been long ago, and seemed as far away as the mountains in the distance.
Zuko considered going back to camp, but figured it would be better if he and Sokka spent some time away from each other. Sokka was clearly upset with him, and Zuko couldn't understand why. He thought back to the previous night's conversation...
Sokka watched as Zuko adjusted the small pile of wood before quickly starting the fire. He glanced toward Yasuo, the ostrich-horse, and then back to Zuko, who was staring into the fire's red and orange depths. He looked like he was thinking about something, and Sokka remained silent, watching as the fire cast flickering shadows across Zuko's face.
There was something different about him tonight-- something wrong. Exhaling audibly, Zuko looked up at Sokka, a little surprised to find that he was staring at him. Was that concern reflected in his blue eyes? It didn't matter.
"I'm leaving." he said simply, turning back to the fire.
Sokka inhaled sharply. "What?" he asked, genuinly confused.
"You heard me. I'm leaving."
"What do you mean, 'leaving'? Leaving where?" he spread his arms, gesturing toward the great wilderness that surrounded them.
"We both have tasks to accomplish, Sokka. Tasks that can't wait. If we keep traveling together, we'll never reach our destinations. You know that."
"Our tasks are similar. I don't see why we can't continue like this."
Zuko sighed a little. "The only thing our tasks have in common is they both involve our sisters. You have to find yours-- I have to find mine. That's all." he paused. "I'm going tomorrow night."
"So that's it?" asked Sokka, more forefully than he meant. "That's all? Just an 'I'm leaving tomorrow'?" his voice was rising and he couldn't control it. He didn't even know why. "After all we've been through, all the times I've saved your neck!"-- he was shouting now-- "You're just going to leave!"
"That was the plan," said Zuko, standing up. Why was Sokka behaving this way? Zuko felt like he knew, deep down, but didn't care to look and find out. "But if you need me to stay here because you're too weak and afraid to travel alone--" he stepped forward, "then just say the word!"
"I don't need you to travel with me! If anything, you need me! Who's the one that goes fishing and sets up camp? Who's the one that makes sure we stay on course? All you do is start the fire!"
The sound of their voices echoed around the forest, startling several animals that had been asleep. They shouted at each other for a good thirty minutes before Sokka threw his arms up and said, "Fine! If you want to go off on your own and get killed-- that's just fine with me!"
He turned and stormed off into the dark forest. Zuko shouted after him, "That's right! Run away! If you feel like facing me like a man--" he stopped, unsure of how to finish the insult. He sat down again, curisng through clenched teeth. What was wrong with Sokka? Couldn't he see that finding Azula was the most important thing for him to do right now? Didn't he care?
No! Of course he didn't care! Zuko felt like an idiot, a complete fool. He'd thought that he and Sokka had bonded somehow-- had become friends. How wrong he was. Sokka was just a cowardly Water Tribe peasant that couldn't take care of himself. Zuko knew he was lying to himself, but he didn't care. Not anymore. Sokka didn't show up again until just before dawn, and had been completely silent ever since then.
It was late afternoon now, and Sokka was wondering where Zuko was. Should he go and look for him? Don't be stupid, he told himself. Zuko doesn't matter! Besides, he'll show up eventually. His ostrich-horse is here.
When Zuko did turn up, it was twilight and the stars were coming out. He simply walked into camp, picked up his bag and grabbed the reins of his ostrich-horse without a word to Sokka. Not that Sokka had expected-- or wanted -- him to. That's what he told himself, anyway. Sokka hadn't bothered to start a fire, so the darkness quickly swallowed everything. The moon rose slowly, bathing everything in silver light. Sokka looked up to find Zuko standing at the edge of the clearing. Just standing. Wasn't he supposed to be leaving, even after all they'd been through together, after all they'd accomplished, all they had built up? Yes. But he wasn't.
Zuko was unsure for the first time in a long time. Leaving now would mean he'd never see Sokka again. Not that he cared, of course. Not leaving would mean he was weak, would mean Sokka had won. He bit his lip, wondering if Sokka was behind him. Zuko didn't dare look back-- that would be almost as bad as turning around and admitting he was wrong.
Taking a deep breath, he stepped forward.
Sokka felt like he was in a dream-- everything seemed a little out-of-focus and slowed down. He had no idea what drove him to do it-- his body just seemed to move on its own. He couldn't stop himself. Suddenly he was walking forward and placing his hand on Zuko's shoulder. He heard himself say, "Zuko. Wait." Sokka turned him around and stared into his amber eyes. There was something different about him tonight, too. Something different, but not wrong. Zuko's hard eyes seemed to soften as they looked at Sokka.
Zuko was surprised to find Sokka's hand on his shoulder and his familiar voice whispering to him. Surprised, but not unpleasantly. He turned around and looked into Sokka's eyes. There was something about those eyes-- they were so dark and deep and expressive. He could fall into the blue depths of Sokka's eyes and be perfectly content. It would be like drowning in a sparkling sapphire sea and never wanting to come up for air.
Sokka's firm grip on his shoulder clearly said to Zuko, I'll never let you go. It was strangly comforting to the Fire Prince, and for the first time he noticed the equisite color of his skin and how his gaze was soft and intense all at the same time. Sokka was very beautiful in his own way, and Zuko suddely found himself wishing he could tell him.
In the pale moonlit night, Zuko's eyes were by far the brighest things. Sokka couldn't look away-- he was like a moth to a flame, drawn to the light. Zuko's mouth wasn't drawn into a frown like it usually was. His brow wasn't creased with worry or anger. In the moonlight, his features were soft and handsome, even with the scar. In fact, he almost seemed more handsome with it. Sokka couldn't imagine Zuko any other way.
Sokka was unsure of himself, feeling very self-concious all of a sudden. Was this the right thing to do? With the moonlight shining down everywhere, Sokka felt like Yue was there with him, watching him. If only he could see her-- would she be smiling? Or would she frown upon this? Out of the corner of his eye, Sokka could have sworn he saw her.
She was standing in a shaft of misty moonlight, resplendent in a flowing white gown. She shone with an inner light and her hair seemed to float around her beautiful face. And she was smiling-- or trying to. A single tear was sliding down her cheek, but she was still smiling. I love you, Sokka. He could hear her voice inside his head. I love you, and I want you to be happy. Be happy, Sokka.
Then she was gone, and Sokka was sure of it. It was right, it was destiny. Suddenly, Zuko spoke. His voice was barely above a whisper, as though he was afraid of something and barely had the courage to speak. "Sokka," he said, his amber eyes gazing into Sokka's. "your know I love you, don't you?"
Sokka didn't have to respond. His actions did it for him. He moved forward and pressed his lips to Zuko's, breathing in his scent, feeling the warmth of his body. He put his arms around him and felt Zuko kiss him back. Suddenly he was wrapped in Zuko's strong arms and for that instant, it was just the two of them. The two of them and the moonlight.