A/N: I've always hated that Lorelai hates Jess. So I'm doing rewrites! 2.05.

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"Lemme guess, you don't want to be here."

"Doesn't matter."

"I mean here, in Stars Hollow."

Jess was getting tired of this. "Doesn't matter."

"Ugh, Jess, let me give you a little advice. The whole 'my parents don't get me' thing, I've been there."

"You have, huh?"

"Yes, I have. I've also done the 'chip on my shoulder' bit. Ooh, and the surly, sarcastic, 'the world can bite my ass' bit, and let me tell you, I mastered them all, in heels, yet. And everything you're feeling might be totally justified, maybe you are getting screwed. But Luke is a great guy.
He's very special, and he really wants to take care of you and make things right for you. You're incredibly lucky to have him. If you give this situation half a chance, you might be surprised at how good it can be, how much you like living here, and how comfortable it feels to have someone like Luke you can really depend on."

He rolled his eyes at her faithful defence of his uncle; she obviously assumed he hated Luke. Not so. He was completely indifferent to the man. "Well gee, Ms. Gilmore, it sure is good to hear you say that. Maybe now I'll reconsider killing him in his sleep."

Lorelai gave up. "You know what, okay. Be this way. But give Luke a chance."

For a moment he seriously considered asking her is she was getting some. "So lemme see: Give Luke a chance, learn to love Stars Hollow, put on sweater vest, tuck shirt into pants, polish newly-earned halo. That all?"

She didn't respond, but walked inside and shut the door. Jess leaned on the rail as he heard Lorelai and Luke begin to talk.

"Where's Jess?"

"Outside. You've got your work cut out for you; that's for sure."

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing. Just, I found him outside with a beer."

Jess waited to hear how Luke would respond to that.

"What?"

"Him, beer; outside. I took it from him before he drank it."

Their tones turned hushed. The next thing he knew, Luke was out on the porch with him. "What are you thinking, taking a beer from Lorelai? Are you insane?"

He shrugged. "She might be."

"Oh, don't even start that. Listen, there are going to be a few rules. You will get up, you will go to school, you will come home, you will work in the diner until closing, you will do your homework and then you will go to bed. You will not steal, you will not smoke, you will not drink. You will not do anything else the Nancy Reagan would find unacceptable, and I reserve the right to change these rules at any time without written notice."

"Are you done?"

"Do you want me to have you committed or would you prefer to check yourself in?"

Luke grabbed him by the sleeve. "Inside."

He gave Luke a mock-salute with his free hand. "Yes Sir."