–o–

Chapter Two
Snow or Never

Eight hours and twenty–three minutes was the reading on the magical digital display floating over Timmy Turner’s head. The mountain climbing so far had brought him and his Fairy Godparents high, but not high enough.

“Cosmo! Are you sure I can’t wish to be somewhere higher?” yelled Timmy within the roaring gale of snow.

“No way! Jorgen deactivated every Magical Transportation Wish until this is over!” replied Cosmo.

Timmy sighed and tightened his belt. He was currently wearing proper clothes to prevent freezing, including an Eskimo fur vest. It was the best Cosmo could conjure after about a dozen attempts. Well, it was the safest at any rate. Most of the time missing on Timmy’s digital display had been wasted by either Cosmo producing bizarre results from Timmy’s simple wishes or the three of them running away from Cosmo’s failed results.

Timmy looked over his shoulder. Behind Cosmo was Wanda, blue–skinned and teeth–chattering and looking even sicker inside a thick blanket. They had better find that Magical Seed soon… They had no time to waste, and that was too true.

“Let’s move!” said Timmy. “Cosmo, I wish I was an expert climber!”

Cosmo smiled. “Hey, I can do that!” and raised his wand.

Magical dust and bananas spelled out CHIMP! before the yellow poof of smoke faded. Where Timmy had been standing there was now a very angry monkey.

“Iik–Iiik!” Timmy–Monkey jumped up and down.

“You look cute and huggable,” grinned Cosmo. Wanda approached and hit her husband with her own wand.

“Not dat kin’d o’ cli’ber, youe I’dio’t! Turn ‘im back!” she sniffed and snorted.

“Oh, okay…”

Another cloud surrounded the Timmy–Monkey in mid–leap and Timmy replaced the chimp, still jumping up and down.

“Don’t do that again!” he protested. “Listen carefully, I wish I was an expert mountain climber!”

“Oh, that I can also do!” grinned Cosmo before a new wave of his wand.

Before the BAAAA!–shaped smoke even cleared, Timmy’s mountain goat horns were slashing at the air.

Cosmo turned to Wanda’s half–annoyed, half–sickened face. “Hah! What do you think of that, huh?” he said. Two seconds later Timmy–Ram bashed into him in pure vengeance, sending him flying away.

“I kin’d o’ like’d dat…” Wanda softly smiled.

–o–

Two hours later, Timmy and his God–parents were no longer outside the mountain.

They were inside of it… and climbing in a very strange fashion.

Jump! Crack! Jump! Crack! Jump! Jump! Crack!

Every time Timmy jumped he raised his huge wooden hammer in the air, cracking blocks of ice from the next floor until he had made a hole big enough to jump through. Every jump was also accompanied by a most distinguishable electronic sound that would surely bring tears of joyful nostalgia to more than one videogame freak.

“Ice Climber!” smiled Timmy after reaching Level Forty with a new jump. “I haven’t played this for ages!”

“Good times,” Cosmo appeared next to him, drying off a tear. “Good times . . .”

“Dat was q’ite smar’t,” coughed Wanda, appearing next to Cosmo.

Timmy raised a triumphant fistful of hammer. “And once again, videogames mark the Path of Truth!”

“Amen!” encored Cosmo.

Six hours and twenty minutes, Timmy saw the digits floating over his heavily–clothed head.

“Still, we must hurry,” he said. “Let’s see… Let’s see…” he glanced sideways, searching in his mind for the information granted by the wish that started it all. “Yes, the Seed is still a long way up, but we’re making good timing.”

“Ho’w many floors?” sniffed Wanda.

Timmy looked up. He could almost see through the layers of icy floors overhead.

“Twenty–five, I’m sure,” he said, and smiled. “We can do it. Let’s go…”

“Ooh, ooh, I’m ready!” shouted Cosmo, turning his clothes into green Eskimo fur with hammer included, ready to be Player Two in this wicked game.

Jump! Crack! Jump! Jump! Crack! Jump! Crack!

And so on…

Twenty floors later Timmy was having problems.

“Penguins!” he yelled. His hammer smashed the Timmy–sized ice cube the penguin was pushing toward him.

“Why so surprised? It’s ‘Ice Climber’, isn’t it? There have to be ice–pushing penguins around!” said Cosmo.

“I didn’t mean to add enemies to this game, because this is no game for us!”

“Oh, you didn’t?” Cosmo scratched his head, found two lice, looked sideways, and then ate them.

Timmy looked up. The hole he had managed to create had been half–repaired by a well–placed ice cube.

“I wish there are no enemies!” shouted Timmy.

Cosmo raised his wand, but instead of a magical poof there was a buzzer. The words “Winners Don’t Cheat” appeared in glowing green over Timmy’s digital clock floating over his head.

“Ah–ah, you’re not s’possed to cheat…” Wanda sniffed hard.

Timmy scowled. “Great, I’m a loser most of the time, but here I have to be a winner.” He glanced at the time remaining: five hours sharp. “No time to waste,” he claimed, clenched his teeth and gripped hard his hammer. “Let’s do this right!”

On the floor above them, a pack of penguins were pushing more ice cubes to repair the remaining hole. It was when they were inches from achieving it that a pink blur crashed past, sending icy pieces of floor flying everywhere. Timmy was determined to finish this fast and clean, and he was doing a good job.

Jump! Crack! Jump! Crack! He really wished the original game had Power–Ups, because this was getting really monotonous and boring…

… Oh, right. That was why he had stopped playing it.

Level 62…

… Level 63…

… Level 64…

… and, finally, Level 65.

“Whoa, there it is; the summit!” said Timmy. He checked the time and smiled. Four hours and twenty minutes remaining. It was a very good time and the Seed was closer than…

Wanda’s eyes open wide. She gagged, inhaled, and then sneezed loudly.

Bang! Wham! Blast! Whoosh!

Random magic sprouted all around them; doves popped out of thin air and fell to the floor as gelid sculptures, decks of cards exploded like cannons full of paper, feet of tied tissues sprung from all three pairs of sleeves in the place.

And Timmy’s feet were suddenly fused with the icy floor under them.

“Hey!” he said.

“’orry…” Wanda blew her nose.

“Bless you, sweetie,” said Cosmo as he licked his dove–flavored icicle pop.

“Great, I’m frozen in place,” said Timmy. “What else could possibly go wrong now?”

There was a loud shriek as something big and red flew over their heads. Timmy’s face was slowly recalling ‘Ice Climber’ again.

“Cosmo… You brought penguins because they were the basic enemies of this game, right?”

“Uh–yup…”

“What else did you bring?”

“Well, what do you think?”

A dark–red shadow was spotted over the summit’s hole high on the sky. The shriek returned as the figure flying up there began a dangerous dive of prehistoric power.

The Pterodactyl! Timmy had forgotten the Pterodactyl at the summit! And it was now approaching at top speed toward the little boy fused to the floor.

“Cosmo, I wish my feet were free!” yelled Timmy. Cosmo gave an experimental swing and, for once, managed the correct spell. Timmy jumped aside as soon as he felt himself freed, and it was only one second later that a couple of ancient talons closed where the boy had been.

The Pterodactyl rose and stared down from the heights. Cosmo and Wanda approached Timmy.

“Now what? That thing never attacked the players in the game!” said Timmy.

“Whad happen’d wi’ it, den?” asked Wanda.

“You only had to jump and grab its talons to win,” said Timmy, and realized his words. “Oh, great…”

“You better start jumping!” cried Cosmo and vanished along with Wanda. The Pterodactyl was diving once more.

Timmy glanced sideways, but saw no proper options. Then he chose a third way: as soon as the prehistoric bird was close enough, he jumped back and rolled on the ice. The talons closed tightly on the spot Timmy had occupied two second ago, but now he was a bit ahead and ready to jump again, this time to the front, and grip tightly on the closed talon.

The Pterodactyl shrieked as it sensed the extra weight on itself. It flapped and flew in circular ascension until flight brought both it and Timmy out of the summit and into the snowy gale outside.

When the Pterodactyl had flown far enough, it disappeared with a celebratory GAME OVER poof.

And when Timmy looked down, he noticed the mountains were a long way below.

“This looks like a good time to start yelling in horror,” he said, and he began to yell as soon as gravity took over.

“Cosmo! Wanda! I wish I fall on something soft and cozy!” he added. Cosmo appear in mid–air, grinned and waved his wand.

Poof! Timmy landed heavily, but safely, on what resembled a large, white armchair covered in fur.

“Ah! I’m alive!” he smiled.

The hairy armchair shuddered. Timmy’s smile vanished and looked up. Surely armchairs don’t have menacing yellow eyes and sharp yellow teeth.

“I hate you, Cosmo…” said Timmy as he looked back to the front, right before a new wave of horror stung.

–o–

Three hours and ten minutes were left from the original ten hours Jorgen had conceded. That wasn’t on top of Timmy’s list of priorities, though. He had a whole new perspective on things.

He was hanging upside–down.

So, how was it, again? Oh, yeah, he had climbed sixty–five floors by jumping and smashing the icy ceilings with a hammer; he had been gripped dangerously by the talons of a prehistoric flying beast; he had landed on the belly of an infamous Yeti; he had raced for his life to get away from the afore–mentioned Yeti; he had jumped, squished, tossed himself into snow fields and basically attempted every trick in the book to get away the monster.

Those tricks didn’t involve getting inside a dead–end cavern. What a foolish move.

Now the Yeti had captured him and hung the boy by his feet from the frozen ceiling of the cavern. Blood would have been already coagulated in his head if it only hadn’t already half–frozen in every inch of his body.

A green little figure appeared on the floor. It was sitting leg–crossed and looking ancient and wise. It seemed to have long, green ears, but that was just a badly combed hair.

“Ommmm…” said Cosmo, his eyes closed. “Very brave must be you, young one.”

Timmy sighed. It was bad enough to be hanging like a ham in a freezer; he didn’t really need in–jokes or parodies.

“Quit that, Cosmo!” he said.

A second figure appeared next to Cosmo. This one was covered on a thick robe and only a shadow of its face could be seen. The figure seemed to be going through its Dark Side already.

“Aw, sh’ut up!” Wanda coughed and wheezed from inside the blanket. “We h’ave no thime…”

“Right!” said Timmy. “I wish I’m free from this ceiling!”

Poof! Timmy’s feet were freed. Bonk! Timmy’s head met the cavern’s frozen floor.

“Gee, thanks,” Timmy straightened up and rubbed his head.

Cosmo’s welcome was interrupted by a ferocious roar coming from the shadowy depths of the cavern. The three of them turned to see a large, bulky Yeti advancing at top speed.

“I don’t think he wants to share his dinner!” yelped Cosmo.

“Quick, I wish the Yeti freezes over!”

Cosmo waved his wand and they were immediately surrounded by a blue smoke. It dissipated quickly as a Police–Fairy emerged from it and raised a powerful hand toward the incoming Yeti.

“Oh… no…” Timmy slapped his forehead, already guessing what was going to happen next.

“Freeze!” yelled the Police–Fairy. The Yeti skidded and slid slowly until almost touching the Police–Fairy, who turned to Cosmo and saluted.

“There, now I don’t owe you anything,” he said, and vanished.

“See ya, Victor!” waved Cosmo, then whispered to Timmy’s ear: “He lost a bet when he said I couldn’t dip my head in a tank of piranhas while wearing a necklace made out of sausages.”

They stared up at the Yeti. Realization was slowly slouching into that fur–coated brain.

“I dink we s’hould gettaway…” Wanda warily said.

The Yeti growled.

“I wish the Yeti didn’t want to chase after us!” said Timmy as he saw the white menace straightening up.

Cosmo raised his wand. Behind of them, a ring of fire – smoke trails creating LAS VEGAS – grew until it reached the size of a large, white hoop. Something large leapt from inside and landed on the Yeti, felling it. Timmy saw in amazement how the Saber–Tooth Tiger purred at the thing and the Yeti proudly attached a collar around the neck of its new pet. As the name tag flashed in the sunlight and proclaimed the Yeti’s kitty to be named ‘George’, Timmy decided that sometimes Cosmo really knew what he was doing.

–o–

One hour sharp for the deadline.

It was really easy to get away after the Yeti adopted George the Saber–Tooth Tiger. Wasn’t they delighted with each other? Surely they were. But Timmy had no time to lose, and so he wished for climbing equipment, finally granted after seven different variations of the wish.

Wanda looked really bad. Even the shadow that could be seen within the curled blanket was deep blue and teeth–clattering. But Timmy wouldn’t surrender, because they were almost there. Being captured by a Yeti was actually good: the creature led Timmy through part of the mountain via different hidden passages, and that saved precious hours.

Fifty–eight minutes left. Timmy looked up at Cosmo leading the way shaped as a mountain ram. It was better him than me, thought Timmy.

They made a stop on a snowy ridge. The wind was freezing. It was the perfect place for hiding anything, Timmy considered.

“Just a little more,” he said to his Godparents. “The Seed is very close, I can feel it. Up there, somewhere between those rocks.”

Cosmo and Wanda looked at the place pointed by Timmy’s extended hand.

“I think I can see a cave, there!” claimed Cosmo, turning into a pair of binoculars and placing himself in front of Timmy’s eyes.

“Yes, there’s a cave!” said Timmy. The information in his brain didn’t have doubts. “That’s the place! I’m sure! Come on, just a little more!”

Wanda coughed and sneezed. Timmy pushed away the frozen dove–cubes that landed on his head and began the final climb to the Cave of the Seed, as it was labeled in his mind. The advance was slow, but they could reach it in time.

Twenty minutes left. Timmy was beginning to panic, but he had to trust. He had to, because the cave was right there, three feet above his freezing hands. Cosmo and Wanda were pushing him from below, making sure their Godchild didn’t lose balance.

Two feet… one … just a couple of inches.

“Almost… there… arggghhh…” mourned Timmy, beginning to feel dizzy.

A large, muscular hand closed on Timmy’s tiny, thin arm. Caught by surprise, Timmy and his Godparents were suddenly pulled up and deposited roughly in the cave, where another figure stood.

“About time, little weak kiddy…” said Jorgen Von Strangle.

“Jorgen! What… What are you doing here!” Timmy gasped.

“I had to make sure you arrived on time and without cheating,” said Jorgen, a smirk of action–packed pleasure in his lips. “And so you did.”

“Then I won!” Timmy stood in a jump, smiling.

“Not just yet, squirmy. You must reach the Seed at the back of this cave, see?”

Timmy looked into the cave. Amid the darkness, there was a glowing pin–point. Cosmo turned again into the binoculars and Timmy used him to watch the Seed.

It was very small, like the lonely seed of a grape, and it was glowing blindly. It rested on a pillow, which rested on a pillar.

And that was all.

“That’s it?” Timmy sounded disappointed. “All this work for that?”

“What did you expect, skinny? You’ve had enough problems reaching this place already.”

“Well, it’s a long walk from here, but I can reach it in the fifteen minutes remaining,” said Timmy, and began to walk.

RUMBLE! The mountain shook and the interior of the cave was suddenly packed with snow.

“Oh, I forgot,” said Jorgen, showing the smile applied to those who never really forget anything: “This cave has a magical security system to hide it from curious little kids like you. Well, well, you have fifteen minutes to get through the snow and reach the seed. I’ll be in the Chamber of the Seed until the time runs out, squirmy.”

“But I…!”

Jorgen had already vanished in a loud explosion. Timmy panicked and stared at the snow blocking the entrance.

“Oh, no, not this now!” he said. Cosmo turned into a snow shovel and Timmy began to shovel the snow with him. Wanda appeared next to them with a worried look in her ill face.

“Oh, sweetie… A’m ‘orry, buh theeze looks reely ba’d…” she said.

“Come on come on come on come on!” Timmy just said, shoveling as fast as he could. With ten minutes remaining Timmy had advanced two feet.

“It’s impossible!” he claimed, tossing Cosmo–shovel away and falling on his back on the snowy floor. Cosmo returned seconds later. “I can’t do this! What will I do? I don’t want to lose you, Cosmo, Wanda!”

“Oh, Minny…” Wanda blew her nose, this time with feeling.

“Hey, why don’t I give you a flamethrower?” said Cosmo.

Timmy brightened up… then returned to his devastated mood. “Won’t work,” he said. “That will surely melt the snow quickly, but I won’t reach the other end in time. What I need is a quick way to melt the snow and get to the Seed.”

Eight minutes left. Eight final minutes with his Godparents. Timmy felt like crying. Wanda approached.

“Minny, theeze co’uld be ou’r la’st momt’s together…” she said in a voice she hoped to be soothing. “Wo’uhd youe li’ke to maik one la’st wish… fo’r da o’ld thimes?”

The old times. Timmy couldn’t think on the old times. It all would be forgotten soon enough, anyway. All he could properly remember was the past week and how he wished to have a really calm weekend just before having wished for–

Timmy jumped on his feet, astonished.

“Of course!”

He gave a look at the time left. Five minutes. He turned to Cosmo, who was already packing up.

“Cosmo, there is one thing I do wish!” Timmy said, and he was indeed grinning like a maniacal demon.

–o–

Jorgen Von Strangle was standing guard inside the Chamber of the Seed. It wasn’t that Jorgen hated Timmy, but he was very, very fond on following the Rules and Procedures, and he wasn’t going to make exceptions for no one.

Two minutes left, Jorgen saw on his magical wrist watch. Well, that was it, he thought. Timmy had failed, now let to put those Godparents back in the lines of Re–Assignation. He was vaguely aware of a soft rumble, but ignored it. A few seconds later, he couldn’t ignore its increased sound.

“What is this?” he wondered, his eyes glancing to every spot in the Chamber . . . only to focus on the blocked entrance.

Something was coming.

The blockage of snow exploded like a balloon full of pins. It was followed by an intense wave of heat that melted every inch of snow and ice in the Chamber. Jorgen saw the immense fireball coming from the tunnel. He had never seen fireballs with headlights before.

He jumped aside just before the flaming Bentley revved past him and skidded, leaving a trail of scorched rubber until it crashed into the opposite wall, where it left a large crack.

“Aaaaaahhhh!” yelled Timmy and jumped out of the car into the bucket of water Cosmo had magically produced. There was a loud fizz and a long sigh of intense relief.

Timmy jumped out of the bucket, his clothes and skin half–blackened (same as Cosmo and Wanda’s) and grinned at Jorgen, who was flat on the floor.

“Hah! Ten seconds left, Jorgen!” said Timmy, then advanced at the pillar and softly picked the Seed with his index finger and thumb. The digital clock on his head stopped with only two seconds remaining.

Timmy grinned like a lunatic. “I hate time limits.”

Jorgen stood up, looking annoyed.

“Very impressive, little one. You have managed to reach the Seed within the time limit.” Jorgen pulled a tiny tape recorder from nowhere and spoke softly to it: “Note to self: decrease Time Limits in the future.” The tape recorder vanished with a small but manly mushroom cloud.

“Great, can I give it to Wanda, now?” Timmy scowled.

“Yes, but only if you are greedy enough,” snapped Jorgen.

“What, greedy? What do you mean?”

“What you are holding between your little, stick–like, girly fingers is the one and only Seed of Health. One and Only, you heard that? It’s been saved for a time of great crisis, not for curing little Fairy illnesses.”

“Little!” Timmy gasped.

“Oh, you never heard of Pixie Pox, then, huh?” Cosmo whispered to Timmy’s ear, conspiratorially.

“If you use that Seed there won’t be any more for the future. That’s what One and Only means,” Jorgen said.

Timmy stared at the small Seen in his palm . . . then at Wanda’s pitiful appearance . . . then back at the Seed.

“I guess . . . it would be kind of selfish, right? Maybe I can just deal with Wanda’s Fairytis until it’s gone . . .”

“Tha’ is so kind . . .” said Wanda.

Timmy sighed. All that work, for nothing. All the perils . . . for nothing.

Oh, well . . .

“Right,” he said. “I’ll give it back.”

Jorgen nodded and smiled. “That was a very smart choice, young one.”

He extended his huge hand and let Timmy place the tiny Seed on it. Then Jorgen placed the Seed back on its pillow.

“Very well, little one. I will return you and your Godparents back to your pla–”

CRACK!

They all fell silent, then slowly stared at the remains of the flaming Bentley.

CRICK!

That crack the car had produced on the wall upon crashing was spreading up.

CRICK! CRICK! CRACK!

It was reaching the ceiling.

CRICK–CRACK–CRACK–CRICK!

“Uh–oh . . .” chorused Timmy, Cosmo, Wanda, and Jorgen.

CRAAACK! RUUUUUMBLE!

The ceiling cracked open and an avalanche of hundreds of thousands of Magical Seeds buried the four gathered under it. Several seconds later, Jorgen stuck his head out with a most annoyed expression.

He also pulled out his hand, in which the tape recorder reappeared.

“Note to self: repair and fortify the Super Secret Magical Seed vault,” said Jorgen, then the tape recorder vanished again.

“Hey!” Timmy’s head emerged from the large heap, also looking annoyed. “This is full of Seeds! ‘One and Only’, huh?”

“Aw, shush . . .” said Jorgen.

–o–

Wanda was back in good shape by Sunday morning. It was a relief for Timmy, who would have been enjoying a rather quiet and peaceful Sunday if it wasn’t for the cold he caught up in the Himalayas. Now he was in bed with several extra blankets and the stereotypical thermometer stuck in his mouth and the bag of ice on his head.

“How are you feeling, sweetheart?” asked Wanda as Cosmo pulled the thermometer and observed the red line form a bulb on the end and pop.

Timmy sneezed. “Aw’ A’m fheeli’n’ awful . . .”

“How come Jorgen didn’t let him have one of those Seeds, again?” wondered Cosmo.

“Well, he said he’d give only one to him if we promised to keep the secret, which we will thanks to the curse he laid upon you,” said Wanda.

“Why only me?” protested Cosmo.

“Because it’s you,” she just said. “Anyway, Timmy gave the Seed to me before he felt the first symptoms of his cold, poor baby . . .”

“Aw, shuddup . . .” Timmy mumbled.

“Well, don’t worry, we’re still your Godparents and we will be here to help you endure this pain you are feeling without us feeling it at all,” smiled Cosmo.

“Grr…” said Timmy.

The doorknob twisted. Cosmo and Wanda dove into the bowl as goldfish. The door opened and Mom and Dad walked in.

“How is our little kid feeling?” she said. “How could you get a cold with such nice weather?”

“You didn’t dance on the roof wearing only underwear, did you?” Dad sounded concerned. “I get a cold when I do.”

Timmy tried with all his strength to get that mental image out of his range of thoughts. He failed.

“I’ll be a’right…” he mumbled. “Noth’eeng can be wo’rze, aynieway…”

“Well, don’t you worry,” her mother kissed him on the forehead. “You’ll be all right while we are out at the Bingo.”

Timmy’s eyes popped open as Mom and Dad walked away.

“Wha! Wai’t! Who’s gounna taik caere of me?” he said as his bedroom’s door slammed shut.

It opened again two second later.

“He–llooooo, twerp! It’s me, your most–beloved baby–sitter . . . Vicky!” said Vicky, and hers was a grin many a maniac demon driving a flaming Bentley would have killed to have.

Timmy screamed in horror, the sound of his parent’s retreating car and a starting thunder storm creating a rumbling backbeat.

Yes, it was going to be a calm weekend, all the way…

–o–

THE END

–o–