The Wizarde's Tale

Author's Notes: I was in Medieval Literature lecture and I was so bored I was contemplating chewing off my fingers. Happily, my friend the illustrious Ms Sarah Cooper, had a better idea. This one is dedicated to everyone who has had to study Chaucer. It could be worse you know - I could have written a cycle of mystery plays. Come on, give me a break - it's really not easy to rhyme using words like 'ecclepeth'

Whan that Aprill with his sonne warme

Doth engendre younge oon the farm,

Yonge men eek encrees en corage

Eschaufing, but nat for marriage.

For wommen some youthes do nat care

For hem oon of hir owne ilke is faire.

Lyke this was a seemly yonge squier,

A scar in him burnt, of wikkedest fyr.

With heer as blak as indes ink,

Emeraude eyne behind glasse did blink.

In the scole of magyk eek astronomye

His wizarde felwes clepe him Harry.

Full many a yeer's sourcering schooling he hadde

Yet, sooth to seyne, ne yonge men a-bedde.

Oon there was that helde Harry en thral:

Gaylard as koude be, slendre and talle,

Heer al lyk flex, softe as silke,

Flesh as whit as morne milk.

His mouth ful small, and thereto softe and reed;

For him povre Harry's hearte did bleed.

Lyk serpent beast his name was Draco;

Fyrey he was, to Harry no dalliance would showe.

Then oon nyght at the scole yule balle

Harry, o'er-ful of wyn, in garden did falle.

Cleare was sky of even over the land

When Draco, alone, did give out his hand.

Softe speke he, so noon might heer:

'Harry, sweete, in trowthe, art ye queer?'

Harry then wexed and overcame fright.

Seyde he: 'I am what'er ye desiren this nyght.'

Gentil Draco made no replicacion of witte

Bestowing only a kisse moste parfit.

Harry savoured his lippes more redde than wyn,

'O sweete,' clepp he, 'Myn chambre or thyne?'

'Let us nat trouble to travel o'er far,

Here is a bushe to be our boure.'

Layde down on the moss, they soon were unclothede;

Most unholsom, undescreet eek ful disrobed!

'Be softe,' shryve Harry, 'for I am yet a mayde.'

'Nat nemoore.' Draco laughed, then oon him layde.

Draco the Holour with waxen flesh seeming pure,

How was yonge Harry to see he was a lechour?

His reynes fulsome and warme, with heer al of flax,

Engendring they mayde the beest with two backes.

Draco's membre was greet, our Harry distressed!

He forgot where he was, and much noise untressed.

'Draco! Draco! Thee I do love!'

'Potter! Malfoy! Heavens above!'

A maister it was, of potions, moste streite,

Seinte Marie, he did them longe berate!

Yet nat ne worde breethed he to the scole head

For the boys, in retourne, brought him a-bedde.

Glossary (for those baffled by12th century vocab)

Eschaufing – to grow hot, passionate.

Cleppe – called.

Sooth to seyne – true to say.

Gaylard – young and lively.

Dalliance – attention, gossip.

Boure – bower.

Holour – perv, letch.

Reynes - loins

Untressed - let out.

Streite – straight, but also strict (bow down before me, for I can pun in Middle English).