|The other side of the Dungeon
Author: Langwurst PM
Ever wondred what crosses the mind of Lord of the Land whilst he is waiting for you to slaughter him? If so read on if not read on anyway.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - Words: 565 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 05-29-06 - id: 2963517
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
'I blame you.'
'Well I didn't know it was gonna be like this.'
'You'll be a star you said lord of an entire land to myself, pillar of strength and goodness and right hand man to the king himself.'
'Well you are aren't you? It's not as if it wasn't true.'
'No, but you forgot to mention that the job was basically sit here and wait to be slaughtered. I mean I'm a hero right I should be the one doing the slaughtering not all these demons and goblins which are no better than they ought to be.'
The giant sighed and sat down next to his friend.
'Its alright for you at least your not being typecast.'
'Yeah; Cannon Fodder.' The goodly knight looked up at the eight foot tall brute and tried to fit the tag "cannon fodder" to that huge frame. For some reason it wouldn't stick.
'Hmm' He said and kicked a stone across the dungeon floor. The Giant whose name was Hanabarbus couldn't remember the knight being this depressed before he tried to take him out of himself.
'Eh why don't we go patrolling I know you like doing that.'
'Its all there is to do. Bloody patrolling. You know them swish buggers over there have got casinos bloody casinos, and that's not all, they got libraries, fine cuisine, their own bunk, combat arenas and bloody temples.'
'They are evil temples mind and the food's basically chicken which can be kind of binding after the third day of it.' He said but without much conviction cause it was long time since he had a hot meal.
'They even got cable I heard.' Deciding the Lord of The Land wasn't gonna be taken out of his funk quite so easily Hanabarbus decide to change the subject entirely.
''ere 'ave you seen the way Lilybell's been looking at me I think she wants some of the ol Hanabarbus love machine, eh eh.' As he spoke he nudged his friend conspiratorially almost sending the smaller figure halfway across the room.
'Can't even have a decent smoke round here oh no.'
'I mean I told the wife that I would stay faithful but phwoar.'
'They actually get paid they actually get actually paid and what do we get? Diddly squat and cold curry.' The knight continued but his heart wasn't in it and his mind was trying to perform certain anatomical equations concerning the Giant and the tiny Fair Lilybell. 'You really think you got a shot I thought she was seeing that monk?'
'She says he was just a shoulder to cry on.'
'What was she crying about?'
'Dunno maybe cause she didn't have any shoulders.'
'We should probably start patrolling.' The Knight got up and dusted himself down.
'ere maybe we'll be jumped out on then attacked then beaten unconscious then taken to a desolate prison to rot then healed n taken to a torture chamber where we'll be rigorously tortured to be converted to work under our new dark master to undermine the world of humans.'
'Maybe.' The Knight brightened it turned out some clouds had a silver lining after all.
'You're a great mate you know that.' The two walked off into the darkness in search of assailants.