This is it. Thank you for sticking with it throughout my overactive imagination and plot holes; you've been a wonderful audience, I'll be here all week…and possibly a few more years.

Jack left the base feeling angry with himself as he drove through the rain thinking about the past couple of months and about the countless times he had had found his heart in his throat and his sleeve at the same time. His tired, old heart could only take so much moving about at one time but try as might; he could not get her face out of his head. Her façade did nothing to disguise the heavy, dark sadness that painted her expression, all he ever wanted was for her to be happy and that wasn't happening.

He could always justify it by saying she'd had a bad week, month…year. He racked his brains for a solution, a good team night, a visit from her Dad, a new doohickey just to might her eyes light up again. She hadn't been doing that recently. Every new project was just another thing to figure out and discard into the 'out' pile.

He'd give anything to get that shine back, to see her roll her eyes at one of his terrible jokes. She needed more than he was giving her. Maybe he should step down and let someone nice take her out make her feel special, give her what she deserves but…did he want her to be happy with someone else? But when did what he wanted matter? He wanted her. Oh God… he wanted her. He thumped his open hand on the steering wheel in frustration and made a sharp turn down a familiar street.

Before he knew it, he had pulled up outside Sam's house. What was he doing? Was he nuts! His brain didn't seem in tune with what his body wanted, he couldn't help himself. He stormed through the pouring rain up to her front door and slammed the door with his fists. It was then he realised he'd forgotten to favour his ankle and registered the pain coursing up his leg.

"Sir?" she said when she answered the door.

Now! Now, he realised what a dumb, stupid, idea this was!

"Uh…" he said. Oh, you sound so intelligent, Jack O'Neill. Real classy. You were an idiot to think this might be what she wanted because…truthfully Jack, what you want is always was going to be the brainless choice. What she wanted, however, is the world to you. How are you going to compete with that?

"Sir, are you okay?" she asked.

Great, now you're worrying her.

"No," Jack managed to say.

"Sir?"

"I never wanted to let you down, Carter, I'm sorry,"

"You never-"

"No! Stop!" he shouted. It was then he realised that he was staring intently at his feet like a guilty school boy. He forced himself to look at her. "Let me say this,"

She nodded and let him in to her house. He closed the door behind him and he resumed his speech.

"I let you down, I wasn't alert enough," he said. "If I had been, the creature would never have got you, you wouldn't have had to recover alone while I was hiding in my office like a coward," Jack's voice rose in resentment and Sam opened her mouth to protest. "Ah!" he silenced her with the raise of a finger. "If I was more observant…you wouldn't be this…" he struggled for the right word, after all expressing any feelings wasn't his forte. "…sad,"

His words hit her hard. "I'll be fine, sir," she croaked.

"I meant every word I said to you in the cavern! You might be fine eventually, but I won't be!" he shouted. "Fine," he clarified and soothed his voice a little. "If you d- If you go… in the next mission or the one after, I won't know what to do with myself,"

"Sir!" she shouted, she didn't want to hear this, why was he doing this to her?

"I NEED YOU, SAM!"

"No!" she said.

"You wear me out!" he yelled. "You don't even realise! I spend most of my waking moments wondering whether you're safe, you're comfortable, you're happy! I hate it!"

She couldn't hear this, her resolve was going to break apart, did he know what he was doing to her? He closed the gap between them until he was so close she could see the dark marks of fatigue under his eyes.

"I hate loving you this much and not being able to do anything about it," he whispered softly. She looked into his eyes through glistening tears.

"Then do something about it," she said.

He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around her, encompassing her in a huge embrace. "I could resign," he whispered into her ear.

"No," she said quickly.

"Then what?"

"Promise me something,"

"Anything,"

"Promise you'll wait for me,"

"Always,"

"That's all I wanted," He let go and brought his hands up to her face, stroking her cheek with his thumb. "What if it takes years?" she asked.

"It'll be worth it,"

She snaked her one good hand around his head and laced her fingers through the hairs on the nape of his neck. Bringing his head down, she brushed her lips lightly against his. He wrapped an arm around her waist, deepening the kiss. He let go of her face and circled his arm around her, needing the warmth of her body against him. He couldn't believe he was doing this. Was he dreaming? It wasn't urgent or a nervous rush, this was the comfort he had wanted to give her. He wanted her to know with an indisputable certainty that he would love her and be there for her. She ran her tongue along his lips and he opened her mouth to let it explore. He placed a hand behind her head gently and stroked her neck and shoulders, careful to avoid the sling. He really hoped he wasn't dreaming. They broke off, immediately missing the feel of her soft lips.

"One day, we'll be able to do that without the regs hanging over us. I promise you I'll still be here when that day comes," he said sincerely, resting his forehead on hers. "Who wouldn't want to wait for that?"

She laughed "Not me,"

FIN

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