|Can Sins Ever Be Forgiven
Author: blasphamy6669 PM
ObiWan struggles with a dark secret that threatens to destroy him. Will he find help before it's too late? Takes place after he returns from Milidia Daan and the death of Bruck Chun.Rated: Fiction T - English - Angst - Chapters: 13 - Words: 18,057 - Reviews: 86 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 07-01-06 - Published: 05-30-06 - Status: Complete - id: 2964538
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
My first Jedi Apprentice Fic! Please be nice, if you think it sucks don't flame me or anything. This takes place after Obi-Wan comes back from Milidia Daan and the death of Bruck Chun.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Jedi Apprentice characters, they belong to Jude Watson.
Can Sins Ever Be Forgiven
Chapter 1: Frustration
Qui-Gon Jinn sat on the edge of his sleep couch trying to calm the frustration growing inside him. Winna had just called to inform him that Obi-Wan was brought in to the Healers for the third time this week along with two other students. Fighting, he was always fighting anymore. Qui-Gon didn't understand why she had felt the need to tell him, after all the boy wasn't his apprentice anymore. He may have helped him when Xanatos had attacked, but it didn't change the fact that he had stood against his master on Milidia Daan. With a heavy sigh he stood up and stretched his tired muscles before getting dressed and heading down to the Healers.
"Good mornings, Qui-Gon." Winna greeted him with a smile as he strode through the door. "I'm sorry to have woken you so early, please forgive me."
"It's fine." He smiled at her gently as he stepped in front of her. "What is the problem?"
"He's fine, a few cuts and bruises, nothing serious." She frowned at the look Qui-Gon gave her but continued on. "The other two boys are fine as well, in fact not a scratch on them."
"Why did you summon me if there isn't a problem?" He felt the frustration rising in him once again and forced it back down. Frustration seemed to be a pattern lately when it came to his former apprentice, every time he turned around the boy was in some kind of trouble and they always called on him about it. Obi-Wan was not his problem anymore, why didn't people understand that. "I am no longer responsible for him."
"I know that Qui-Gon, but I thought maybe he would listen to you. I've told him several times to stop fighting but he won't listen." She folded her arms over her chest as she too felt the frustration. "He also looks like he hasn't been sleeping or eating, he's lost a considerable amount of weight, and I'm worried about him."
"Very well. I'll speak to him, but this is the last time." He stepped past her and into the room where Obi-Wan sat a deep gash gracing his brow, both eyes blackened his tunic stained with dried blood. He looked up at Qui-Gon sighing heavily as he stood beside him arms folded across his broad chest. 'Great another lecture.' Obi-Wan thought as he readied himself for whatever his former master was going to say.
"I hear you've been fighting a lot lately." It was a rhetorical question but the boy still painfully nodded his head in acquiescence of the fact. "Why?"
Would it matter if he told him what was going on? Probably not. He knew the only reason Qui-Gon was there was because Winna had asked him to try to talk some since into him. So he decided to tell him what he wanted to hear so he could go back to his quarters and be alone for a while. "I get tired of being called Oafy-Wan and for some reason they've started calling me Homo-Wan."
"Name calling is no reason to fight with other students. You must learn to control your anger your anger will control you." How many times has he given him his speech? It never works. The boy is as stubborn and pig headed as Xanatos ever was. "If you want the Council to look favorably on you when your probation is up I suggest you calm down and try to control yourself."
"Yes, sir." He was hoping that was the end of it. He just wanted to be left alone, Why did they call Qui-Gon anyway, it's not like he's his master.
"Remember my words, Obi-Wan." He gave the ginger haired boy a stern look to show how serious he was. "When was the last time you slept or ate anything?"
Does it matter? "I slept last night and I ate at meal time today." Neither of which were true but if he told him the truth he'd ask to many questions, questions Obi-Wan wasn't ready to answer.
"Winna said that you've had a drastic weight loss since you've been back." He hadn't paid enough attention to the boy to noticed any physical changes.
"I just came out of a war, Qui-Gon, it's kind of hard to eat three square meals a day when you are under attack. And I've been training a lot since I've been back." The answer seemed to satisfy the older man, he gave him a curt nod.
"Try to stay out of trouble." Even though that's physically impossible, he thought to himself as he left the room. Relief filled Obi-Wan as he watched the doors slid shut leaving him alone in the room.
As for the fighting, technically he wasn't fighting he was getting beat up. He didn't try to defend himself from the blows and kicks from the other students, he felt that he deserved it. It was a mistake to leave the order and this was his punishment, the other padawans felt that he was a disgrace to the temple and the Jedi way of life, so they took out there anger and frustration on him.
Obi-Wan welcomed the pain of the beatings because for a short time he left him alone, while fists and feet hit him over and over again, but afterwards there he was watching him silently from the corner. His green eye masked under blood that endless spilled forth from him, his green eye always open always watching. No matter where Obi-Wan went he was always there.
Even now in the shower he stood watching, no matter which way Obi-Wan turned he was there. He scrubbed himself until his skin was raw and burning, but he could still feel the blood all over him, shower after shower, day after day the blood remained on his skin yet it was only he who could see it. "Please, leave me alone. I'm sorry. Please just let me be." He pleaded with the young man but he did not move nor respond he just stared unblinkingly with his green eye.
A/N: "He" will be explained in a later chapter. This is my first JA fic so please review.