Opening Author’s Notes
This chapter slows it down a bit with something of a double tribute because this is a tribute to both my favorite Shakespeare play and scenes and my favorite sitcom. I've already tributed Much Ado About Nothing in a Harry Potter story I did a while back, but I definitely feel like it's okay to show how I'd see Ash, Misty and company performing it.
Also, responding to your review, Evan, I do look at my stories as would-be movies at times, but I also look at them as games at times too because then I have to worry about details, which is good since I enjoy making a storyline and world that draws people in and makes people want to dive in and either watch or participate. I mean, that's how games get made off of stories—when a story is written and a game developer senses that there are people who'd like to get an idea of how it would to do it.
Once again, sit back and enjoy!

The next evening, after we had spent the day celebrating with the fans on Mermaid Avenue ending at the Mermaid Garden, we headed back up the street to Adria’s for what had become another tradition of ours—a post-tournament victory dinner over there that was a little more private (although we still did mingle with fans who came up to us.)
“I tell you, the food really does knock back that appetite tonight!” Violet said, prompting the rest of us to nod, some while savoring their dishes. “Good thing, too—sorry, guys, we forgot to tell you earlier because of the celebrations—we’re taping a theatrical performance for a radio broadcast right after this, so that’s another reason to get something in our stomachs.”
“What is it?” Ash asked curiously.

“It’s a special audio performance of Much Ado About Nothing to benefit Cerulean General.” Misty said with a smile, before finishing excitedly. “We’re going to record it at The Siren tonight and air it tomorrow, and then a CD set of the performance is going to be put out with all the proceeds going to the hospital. Get this: the whole Cerulean performing arts community is chipping in, so it’s like nothing that’s been done before—instead of having one cast that performs the whole thing, certain groups will perform certain scenes.”
“I don’t mean to be arrogant, but naturally, we were four of the first people they called.” Lily said. “That’s not the big news, though—they wanted to know if you guys wanted to give it a shot too.”
“It really sounds like fun, so count me in!” Ash said brightly as he and the Waterflowers smiled at each other.
“And me!” I said eagerly. “I really like Shakespeare and I actually had to read it for English this past year, so I’m pretty sure I’d enjoy it.”
“I don’t know about you, but I think it’d be cool if we all showed up so that we could have one or two scenes that we get to ourselves.” Brock said, grinning at Tracey and Theo. “It’d really be fun then, and I think we might also boost the sales and therefore the proceeds.”
“Did you think I’d say no when just about all of us are doing this and it looks this fun?” Tracey asked him with a grin.
“Well, it’s not as if I have a choice, do I? I’m an Englishman living in Cerulean and playing for United—the whole town would never let me live it down if I didn’t at least try it!” Theo said, before laughing, grinning and saying, “I’m only joking—I’d definitely like to give it a try.”

So after we finished our dinner, we headed over to The Siren, Cerulean’s top radio station with a mix of music, talk and performance broadcasting from a station two blocks off Mermaid Avenue, to help with the charity gig. Upon seeing us, the program’s director, George Hastings of the Cerulean Shakespeare Revue, gave us a very pleasant surprise: we would get to perform the staged conversations where Benedick’s and Beatrice’s friends try to set them up (which just happened to be my two favorite Shakespeare scenes) exclusively.
With seven roles to cast for those scenes (Violet and I both worked on Mr. Hastings’ recommendations as I was Claudio in the scene when he is talking to Benedick right after meeting and becoming enamored with Hero, while Violet was Beatrice in the opening scene), we played off both Ash and Misty’s and Brock and Daisy’s relationships by casting them as Claudio, Hero, Benedick and Beatrice, respectively. From there, Theo took the role of Don Pedro, Tracey assumed the role of Leonato, and Lily was cast as Ursula.

First up was the conversation in Leonato’s orchard at the end of Act II with Don Pedro, Claudio, and Leonato’s staged conversation.
“Any tips before we go in?” Ash asked the Waterflowers outside the booth, which had four microphones with script holders attached.
“First of all, keep your mouth in front of the microphone and be sure to speak clearly, but look at each other as if you’re actually performing on stage as well because it helps you focus.” Misty said. “Using some hand gestures definitely doesn’t hurt either.”
“If you want to use your body to make a sound effect like stomping or beating your chest where you think it’s appropriate, you’re definitely welcome to try it.” Lily added.
“And I know it’s Shakespeare, but language aside, you know what they say—all you have to do is act naturally.” Daisy finished.
“Got it.” Theo said. “You ready?”
“Yep!” Ash replied. “Let’s do it!”
It did take a few takes, but for the most part, it was very smooth. When they were finished, this is how it sounded in script form (I’ve added some extra parenthetical notations so that you have more of an idea of how our particular rendition sounded in case you don’t have the CD):

Don Pedro (Theo)
Come hither, Leonato. What was it you told me of
to-day, that your niece Beatrice was in love with
Signior Benedick?

Claudio (Ash)
O, ay! (Whispering to Don Pedro & Leonato) Stalk on, stalk on, the fowl sits. (In normal voice) I did never think that lady would have loved any man.

Leonato (Tracey)
No, nor I neither, but most wonderful that she should so dote on Signior Benedick, whom she hath in all outward behaviors seemed ever to abhor.

Benedick (Brock)
(Thoroughly stunned) Is’t possible? Sits the wind in that corner?

Leonato (Tracey)
By my troth, my lord, I cannot tell what to think of it, but that she loves him with an enraged affection, it is past the infinite of thought.

Don Pedro (Theo)
Maybe she doth but counterfeit.

Claudio (Ash)
Faith, like enough.

Leonato (Tracey)
(Faking an explosion) O God! Counterfeit? There was never counterfeit of
passion came so near the life of passion as she
discovers it.

Don Pedro (Theo)
Why, what effects of passion shows she?

Claudio (Ash)
(Whispering to Leonato and Don Pedro) Bait the hook well, this fish will bite.

Leonato (Tracey)
What effects, my lord? She will sit you: you heard
my daughter tell you how.

Claudio (Ash)
She did indeed.

Don Pedro (Theo)
How, how, I pray you? (Leonato whispers, and then he answers in a stunned voice) You amaze me; I would have thought her spirit had been invincible against all
assaults of affection.

Leonato (Tracey)
I would have sworn it had, my lord, especially
against Benedick.

Benedick (Brock)
I should think this a gull, but that the
white-bearded fellow speaks it. Knavery cannot
sure hide himself in such reverence.

Claudio (Ash)
(Whispering to Don Pedro & Leonato) He hath ta’en th’ infection, hold it up.

Don Pedro (Theo)
Hath she made her affection known to Benedick?

Leonato (Tracey)
No, and swears she never will: that's her torment.

Claudio (Ash)
'Tis true, indeed; so your daughter says: 'Shall
I,' says she, 'that have so oft encountered him
with scorn, write to him that I love him?'

Leonato (Tracey)
This says she now when she is beginning to write to
him, for she'll be up twenty times a night, and
there will she sit in her smock till she have writ a
sheet of paper; my daughter tells us all.

Claudio (Ash)
Now you talk of a sheet of paper, I remember a pretty jest your daughter told us of.

Leonato (Tracey)
O, when she had writ it, and was reading it over, she
found ‘Benedick’ and ‘Beatrice’ between the sheet?

Claudio (Ash)
That.

Leonato (Tracey)
O, she tore the letter into a thousand halfpence,
railed at herself, that she should be so immodest
to write to one that she knew would flout her. 'I
measure him,' says she, 'by my own spirit; for I
should flout him, if he writ to me; yea, though I
love him, I should.'

Claudio (Ash)
(Shouting) Then down upon her knees she falls, weeps, sobs, (audibly thumps chest) beats her heart, tears her hair, prays, curses, “O sweet Benedick! God give me patience!

Leonato (Tracey)
She doth indeed; my daughter says so: and the
ecstasy hath so much overborne her that my daughter
is sometime afeared she will do a desperate outrage
to herself: it is very true.

Don Pedro (Theo)
It were good that Benedick knew of it by some
other, if she will not discover it.

Claudio (Ash)
To what end? He would make but a sport of it and torment the poor lady worse.

Leonato (Tracey)
And he should, it were an alms to hang him. She's an
excellent sweet lady; and, out of all suspicion,
she is virtuous.

Claudio (Ash)
And she is exceeding wise.

Don Pedro (Theo)
In everything (Pauses for effect) but in loving Benedick.


Leonato (Tracey)
O my lord, wisdom and blood combating in so tender
a body, we have ten proofs to one that blood hath
the victory. I am sorry for her, as I have just
cause, being her uncle and her guardian.

Don Pedro (Theo)
(Earnestly) I would she had bestowed this dotage on me; I would
have daffed all other respects and made her half
myself. I pray you, tell Benedick of it, and hear
what a' will say.

Leonato (Tracey)
Were it good, think you?

Claudio (Ash)
Hero thinks surely she will die; for she says she
will die if he love her not, and she will die ere
she make her love known, and she will die if he woo
her, rather than she will bate one breath of her
accustomed crossness.

Don Pedro (Theo)
She doth well: if she should make tender of her
love, 'tis very possible he'll scorn it; for the
man, as you know all, hath a contemptible spirit.

Claudio (Ash)
He is a very proper man.

Don Pedro (Theo)
He hath indeed a good outward happiness.


Claudio (Ash)
Before God, and, in my mind, very wise.

Don Pedro (Theo)
He doth indeed show some sparks that are like wit.


Claudio (Ash)
And I take him to be valiant.


Don Pedro (Theo)
As Hector, I assure you: and in the managing of
quarrels you may say he is wise; for either he
avoids them with great discretion, or undertakes
them with a most Christian-like fear.

Leonato (Tracey)
If he do fear God, a' must necessarily keep peace;
if he break the peace, he ought to enter into a
quarrel with fear and trembling.

Don Pedro (Theo)
And so will he do; for the man doth fear God,
howsoever it seems not in him by some large jests
he will make. Well I am sorry for your niece. Shall
we go seek Benedick, and tell him of her love?

Claudio (Ash)
Never tell him, my lord: let her wear it out with
good counsel.

Leonato (Tracey)
Nay, that's impossible; she may wear her heart out first.

Don Pedro (Theo)
Well, we will hear further of it by your daughter:
let it cool the while. I love Benedick well, and I
could wish he would modestly examine himself, to see
how much he is unworthy so good a lady.

Leonato (Tracey)
My lord, will you walk? Dinner is ready.

Claudio (Ash)
(Laughing, but quietly) If he do not dote on her upon this, I will never
trust my expectation.

Don Pedro (Theo)
Let there be the same net spread for her; and that
must your daughter and her gentlewomen carry. The
sport will be when they hold one an opinion of
another's dotage, and no such matter: that's the
scene that I would see, which will be merely a
dumb-show. Let us send her to call him in to dinner.

(All three burst into laughter, which fades out as they “exit”)

Benedick (Brock)
(Stunned) This can be no trick: the
conference was sadly borne; they have the truth of
this from Hero. They seem to pity the lady: it
seems her affections have their full bent. (Ecstatically) Love me?
Why, it must be requited. (Self-depreciatingly) I hear how I am censured:
they say I will bear myself proudly, if I perceive
the love come from her; they say too that she will
rather die than give any sign of affection. (Pensively) I did
never think to marry: I must not seem proud: happy
are they that hear their detractions and can put
them to mending. They say the lady is fair; 'tis a
truth, I can bear them witness; and virtuous; 'tis
so, I cannot reprove it; and wise, but for loving
me; by my troth, it is no addition to her wit, (Dreamily) nor
no great argument of her folly, for I will be
horribly in love with her. (Pensively again) I may chance have some
odd quirks and remnants of wit broken on me,
because I have railed so long against marriage: but
doth not the appetite alter? A man loves the meat
in his youth that he cannot endure in his age. Shall quips and sentences and these paper bullets of
the brain awe a man from the career of his humour?
No, the world must be peopled. When I said I would
die a bachelor, I did not think I should live till I
were married. Here comes Beatrice. By this day, she's a fair lady! I do spy some marks of love in
her.

“Nice going!” Mr. Hastings said.
“Yeah, nice going, guys!” Daisy said as the rest of us entered the booth and high-fived them. “You sure do make a good Benedick, Brock! I’ll have to respond to that when I do Beatrice!”
“Same here—Ash, you were great as Claudio! Doing Hero should be even better now!” Misty said, quickly pecking Ash
“Thanks! Whew!” Ash said, wiping some sweat off of his forehead. “Good thing that was fun, because that was a real challenge!”
“It sure is challenging in its own way—but you did a great job for a relative novice.” Lily said with a smile.
“It must have been something rubbing off on us after spending so much time with you girls.” Theo said, laughing at the end.
“I guess it never hurts to have that English accent in there too, does it?” Tracey asked with a chuckle. “It really does set the mood.”
“I suppose so.” Theo said, also with a chuckle.
Up next was the conversation in the garden at the start of Act III where Hero and Ursula’s staged conversation. Because the script called for a long conversation involving just the two of them, Misty and Lily got their microphones to face each other so that all they had to do was look up to make eye contact, and when Mr. Hastings gave them the signal, they began.

Hero (Misty)
No, truly, Ursula, she is too disdainful;

I know her spirits are as coy and wild

As haggerds of the rock.

Ursula (Lily)
But are you sure

That Benedick loves Beatrice so entirely?

Hero (Misty)
So says the prince and my new-trothed lord.


Ursula (Lily)
And did they bid you tell her of it, madam?


Hero (Misty)
They did entreat me to acquaint her of it;

But I persuaded them, if they loved Benedick,

To wish him wrestle with affection,

And never to let Beatrice know of it.

Ursula (Lily)
Why did you so? Doth not the gentleman

Deserve as full and fortunate a bed

As ever Beatrice shall couch upon?

Hero (Misty)
(Feigning exasperation with Beatrice) O god of love! I know he doth deserve

As much as may be yielded to a man,
But Nature never framed a woman's heart

Of prouder stuff than that of Beatrice.
Disdain and scorn ride sparkling in her eyes,

Misprising what they look on, and her wit

Values itself so highly that to her

All matter else seems weak. She cannot love,

Nor take no shape nor project of affection;

She is so self-endeared.

Ursula (Lily)
Sure, I think so;

And therefore certainly it were not good

She knew his love, lest she make sport at it.

Hero (Misty)
Why, you speak truth. I never yet saw man,

How wise, how noble, young, how rarely featured,

(Again feigning exasperation with Beatrice) But she would spell him backward: if fair-faced,

She would swear the gentleman should be her sister;

If black, why, Nature, drawing of an antique,

Made a foul blot; if tall, a lance ill-headed;

If low, an agate very vilely cut;

If speaking, why, a vane blown with all winds;

If silent, why, a block moved with none.

So turns she every man the wrong side out,
And never gives to truth and virtue that

Which simpleness and merit purchaseth.


Ursula (Lily)
Sure, sure, such carping is not commendable.


Hero (Misty)
No, not to be so odd and from all fashions

As Beatrice is, cannot be commendable.
But who dare tell her so? If I should speak,

She would mock me into air; O, she would laugh me

Out of myself, press me to death with wit!
Therefore let Benedick, like cover'd fire,
Consume away in sighs, waste inwardly;

It were a better death than die with mocks,

Which is as bad as die with tickling.

Ursula (Lily)
Yet tell her of it: hear what she will say.


Hero (Misty)
No, rather I will go to Benedick

And counsel him to fight against his passion.

And, truly, I'll devise some honest slanders

To stain my cousin with: one doth not know

How much an ill word may empoison liking.

Ursula (Lily)
(In a pleading tone) O, do not do your cousin such a wrong!

She cannot be so much without true judgment—
(Feigning annoyance towards Beatrice) Having so swift and excellent a wit

As she is prized to have—(Sincerely) as to refuse

So rare a gentleman as Signior Benedick.

Hero (Misty)
He is the only man of Italy,
Always excepted my dear Claudio.

Ursula (Lily)
I pray you, be not angry with me, madam,

Speaking my fancy: (Fervently) Signior Benedick,

For shape, for bearing, argument and valour,

Goes foremost in report through Italy.

Hero (Misty)
Indeed he hath an excellent good name.


Ursula (Lily)
His excellence did earn it, ere he had it.
When are you married, madam?

Hero (Misty)
(Laughs happily) Why, every day, tomorrow! (Eagerly) Come, go in:

I'll show thee some attires, and have thy counsel

Which is the best to furnish me tomorrow.

(Both burst out giggling)

Ursula (Lily)
(Happily through giggling) She's limed, I warrant you! We have caught her, madam.


Hero (Misty)
If it proves so, then loving goes by haps:

Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps.

(They burst out giggling again, and the sound of it fades as they “exit”)

Beatrice (Daisy)
(Stunned) What fire is in mine ears? Can this be true?

Stand I condemn'd for pride and scorn so much?

(Self-depreciatingly) Contempt, farewell, and maiden pride, adieu!

No glory lives behind the back of such.

(Dreamily) And, Benedick, love on, I will requite thee,

Taming my wild heart to thy loving hand:

If thou dost love, my kindness shall incite thee

To bind our loves up in a holy band.
For others say thou dost deserve, and I

Believe it better than reportingly.

“Nice!” Mr. Hastings said as we clapped for all three of them outside and then entered the booth.
“Wow, you sure did look even more energetic out there!” Violet said.
“All thanks to the boys.” Misty said with a smile.
“Thanks.” Brock said. “And to think all that was for a good cause, too!”
“No kidding.” Tracey said. “So when are we going to be back here tomorrow?”
“7:00 tomorrow.” Lily replied. “That’s for you and me—Misty, Ash and Theo are starting it off at 4:00.”
“What’s going on?” I asked curiously.
“It’s The Waterflower Hour—an hour-long show we do every two weeks where one of us takes calls on everything from beauty and fashion tips to friendship and romance advice.” Daisy replied. “However, because we just took home the Premier Cup, we’re going to be doing four hours back-to-back—one for each of us. Do you want to try producing for one of us? It’s easy enough to pick up and the other boys, who produce for us, say it’s fun, but it’s okay if you don’t want to.”
“Hey, if today’s any indication, I think I’d have a ball with this one.” I said with a grin. “How do you work the producer’s area?”

It turned out to definitely be the right decision, because the show, which aired in the evening after the second airing of Much Ado About Nothing, was the best edition anyone could remember from what I heard afterwards. Misty, Ash, and Theo’s hour (with Theo producing), which was the opening one in order to kick it off with a bang, was predictably particularly terrific, and Violet and I, who had the third hour, managed to add an extra twist ourselves after one memorable call.
“Who do we have next?” Violet asked, looking at me with a grin. Both of us were seated, and I had my Cubs cap off and on the desk to get into the spirit a little more.
“We have Sandra from Naiad Bay on Line 3.” I replied with a grin.
Violet punched the button to take the call and said, “Hi, Sandra, how’s it going?”
“Hi, Violet. Hi, Carlo. Congratulations on the Premier Cup win!” She said it sincerely, but something told us she really wanted to talk to Violet for some reason other than that.
“Thanks!” We both said, before Violet added, “It sounds like something’s on your mind, though. What is it?”
“Well, I’ve been going through some things that I’d rather not talk about, but it left me acting like a total jerk, acting cold towards my family and my friends.” Sandra replied, clearly troubled. “That’s not the worst part—my boyfriend was one of them, and he’s been refusing to let me go even after I came to and told him he could do better than me. I’m scared I may just have scared him into staying with me somehow and while I still think he deserves better, I don’t know whether to go back and talk to him again and I also don’t know what to say or do.”
Violet took a moment and then said part meaningfully and part sympathetically, “Well…wow, that really looks tough, Sandra. I know you have to make the next move and that you do have to see him again, but this is the first time I’ve heard of anything like this.” She then saw me listening attentively, and then surprisingly said, “Something tells me we have someone who might know, though—Carlo, our team’s resident wit, who’s in the producer’s chair for the first time today. Thoughts, Carlo?”

I quickly grinned and said, “Thanks. Well, Sandra, listening to your story, I’m reminded of a book that we’re being asked to read for AP English—that’s college-level English in high school—Joseph Conrad’s Heart Of Darkness. I was at CLC Books (Author’s Note: that’s a real-life Japanese bookseller and I was asked to read Heart Of Darkness for AP English Composition in real life) last night by myself, passed by it on display, and decided to read some of it to get ahead.” I said, then, recognizing that I might be losing her, I quickly added, “I know this sounds boring and over your head, but please bear with me.”
“Don’t worry—I’ll take all the help I can get, Carlo.” She said. “Go on—were you going to say that I was confronting my own heart of darkness?” She sounded like she was holding her breath by the end.
“I was.” I said, before quickly adding. “Don’t worry—it’s normal, which is something I learned from the book. All of us have one—you, me, Violet, Misty, Ash—but some of us do a better job of suppressing it than others. If you can confront your own and beat it, it means you’re a pretty strong person, so let me commend you for that first.”
“Thanks a lot.” She replied.
“You’re welcome.” I said. “Now, on top of that, if your boyfriend can confront it and still say he loves you, then even I—who has never dated, mind you—have to believe that he really does love you, so the last thing you want to do is give up on him.”
“Thanks, Carlo. Thanks, Violet. This really does help a lot. I think I’ll go ahead and talk to him. Take care, okay?” She said, and I could almost see (as I think Violet did) her nod and smile even over the phone.

Violet and I both smiled warmly, looking at our microphones, before Violet turned her smile towards me. She then turned back to her microphone as we heard the dial tone, hit the hang-up button, and said, “And on that high note, we head to commercial. You’re listening to this special 4-hour edition of The Waterflower Hour. We’ll be back with more right after these messages.”
With that, she took it to commercial as I came in so that we could relax together again during the commercial break.
“Thanks for that one!” She said sincerely.
“Glad I could help.” I said. Then another thought hit me that made me laugh, and I said, “Is this The Siren or the set of Frasier?”
“Oh, do you watch that show?” Violet said, surprised. “Me too!”
“Really?” I asked, also surprised.
“Yeah. You sure did sound quite a bit like Frasier—only a little easier to understand and without the pompousness, of course.”
“Thanks. Yeah, it did feel a little like KACL in Seattle instead of The Siren, only it’s like you’re Roz, only in the booth, and I’m Frasier, only in the producer’s chair.” I said with a grin, before adding, “My mother’d laugh, smile, or both if she heard that—it’s one of her favorite sitcoms as well as one of mine.”
“Hey, you know what?” Violet said. “I just got an idea—I think we have Tossed Salads And Scrambled Eggs on the computer—go ahead and load it in after the jingle plays. Let’s see if we can’t play off of that a little bit”
“You got it!” I said, and I quickly rushed back to the producer’s chair and found the music. I then faded it in after the jingle, and as it started playing it both on the air and in the booth, I leaned back in my chair and put my feet up on the desk with a grin.

Hey, baby, I hear the blues are callin’
Tossed salads and scrambled eggs (Mercy!)
And maybe I seem a bit confused
Yeah, maybe, but I got you pegged (laughs)
But I don’t know what to do
With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs
They’re callin’ again
Scrambled eggs all over my face—what is it going to do?

Violet then spoke up again with a broad smile. “Yes, indeed, Cerulean, this is Violet Waterflower and you’re tuned in to the special elongated edition of The Waterflower Hour—only it’s four hours today instead of one. And now, due to a very recent development, this is now also truly the best place in Cerulean you can be for psychiatric help without consulting a Ph. D!”
We grinned at each other before she continued, “Don’t worry, all you’ve got to do is sit back in your chair instead of having to sit on one of those therapist’s recliners—although I guess you can find one if you want.” We laughed for a moment, and then she said, “Either way, we’re listening.”
While trying to make up my mind about whether or not it would be a good idea to wish that Kelsey Grammer could see us, I looked at the call board and saw that the lines were even hotter than before if that was possible. Oh, boy, I thought, this could be hectic…but it should still be fun!

Closing Author’s Notes
It really is crazy what a Dr. Pepper commercial can do to you, but that’s just what happened when I saw Kelsey Grammer reprising his role as Frasier in that commercial—I got interested in the show again and I haven’t been able to get enough since, and since this chapter involved work at a radio station, I thought I’d try and work in a little sop to the show.
You know the house rules—please read and review, but also please do not flame me because you’re not a Pokéshipper/AAML subscriber. Next up is the concert featuring a real-life artist who has music featured in this story. Any guesses?