Charms Homework- For Real!

Author’s Notes/Disclaimer

Salutations, all! So sorry that’s it’s been so long. I’ve been lazy, and I’m working on a couple of full length stories. One of which is on hiatus, and the other is still on the first chapter. Oh well. If you recognize it, J.K. Rowling probably owns it. Or Monty Python. Or Disney. Or Eoin Colfer. Ten Points and a cookie to whoever points out all the references!

Also, I have a quandary. Is it Moony or Mooney? I am much too lazy to look it up, plus I’m not sure where my copy of the third HP is….

Seventh Year- Potions

Day of a Thousand References.

Remus Lupin: Sheesh, how many questions can Snivilus answer without Slughorn even looking at us?

Sirius Black: Fifty?

James Potter: Nah, I’d wager a hundred.

RL: I believe that the proper term would be one hundred. Not a hundred.

JP: Point?

SB: No, I agree with Mooney.

Peter Pettigrew: What, when have you become a grammatical expert?

SB: Same year as I meet that veela girl… What was her name…? I was practically in love with her!

JP: Hey, I remember that! Hmm… It started with an A, but you called her by her nickname.

RL: That was highly entertaining. And I quote, “Did you know that if I wanted, I could be Minister of Magic? No, it’s true! I just hafta put up about fifty posters. Right?” Unquote.

SB: Well I could.

JP: Yeah, and I could be the first wizard to get a water buffalo to sing the Spam Song.

PP: I don’t remember that. When was that?

RL: Remember second year when you had dragon pox and were stuck in the hospital wing for two weeks?

PP: Vividly.

RL: Happened then.

JP: HAH! Now whose grammically incorrect?

RL: You. Grammically is not a word, and you should say who’s.

JP: Oh.

SB: Don’t worry, you’ll get him sometime. Surely. Maybe. Probably. Never.

JP: Thanks ever so for the vote of confidence, Pads.

SB: I’m full of ‘em.

RL: To risk sounding like I always do, are we supposed to be working on a potion?

PP: Are we?

RL: Rhetorical question, Wormtail.

PP: I knew that!

JP: Nah, we should be good for another ten questions from The Sniv.

SB: The Sniv! I like that!

JP: Yes, it is rather catchy.

RL: Extremely.

PP: Indeed.

SB: I feel I should say something sarcastic. Should I?

RL: Feel free to.

JP: If you want a punch in the nose.

SB: Now now children.

JP: I am so sticking my tongue out at you.

SB: So I see.

RL: Mature, both of you.

PP: What exactly is Spam?

JP: I’m not sure. You apparently can’t have eggs or bacon without it. And I think that there are some other things.

RL: More muggle humor?

JP: I’m not even sure if it is humor.

SB: Is it funny?

JP: I suppose.

SB: Then it’s humor. You know what else is humor?

JP: Pranks?

RL: You paying attention?

PP: Rats, you guys took mine!

SB: Well… yeah. I have got the most brilliant idea for a prank ever.

RL: More brilliant then the Great Toe Episode of fifth year?

JP: Or the Calamitous Corn Calamity?

PP: Or the Toilet Paper Thing?

JP: Or the Arctic Incident?

PP: Or th-

SB: Point taken, thank you very much! This is greater than them all, greater even than…

JP: No. Not greater then THAT!

SB: It is indeed. Greater than the great Heffalump Woozle Debate of ’88. Speaking of, where did we get the ’88 part?

RL: It rhymed.

SB: Thought so.

JP: Right, that was ten questions. We’ll have to hear about this prank later, Padfoot.

JP: We are in it deep this time.

SB: How was I supposed to know about that?

RL: It’s called planning!

SB: I planned for ten whole minutes!

RL: Splendid. I can only blame myself. I allowed you to continue with this mad scheme.

PP: Any word on how long we have to do this?

RL: A week. And we really shouldn’t be using this, we’ll get caught.

JP: Right. Don’t worry mates. We’ve survived worse.