Unrequited

I never believed in love. Never. Until I met you…

The first time I ever seen you, I didn’t think you any different from the other boys I’d met before. Then again, I guess that’s how you must have seen me too.

I wasn’t your friend.

She was.

She was, and still is, my best friend, though I envy her with everything I have.

She was a total social butterfly, who could make friends with even the strangest of people. I guess that’s the reason we’re friends to this day.

I can’t say I blame people for wanting to hang around her. She’s everything you could want – Funny, smart, active, social, attentive, caring, not mention drop-dead gorgeous.

It’s true, with her shining ruby locks, and perfectly shaped body, she could attract guys from miles away with just a wave of her perfectly manicured hand.

I wasn’t so lucky.

I was short, skinny, flat as a board, boring, shy, and my grades had been dropping ever so slightly since last semester. I also had a self-esteem problem.

She tried to bring me out of it. It was her who convinced me to try styling my boring blonde hair different from everyone else. Not surprisingly, when I came to school the next day, nobody said anything about it. I didn’t expect them to notice the invisible girl’s new invisible haircut.

A lot of people often refer to someone’s lackey/friend as their shadow. I was even lower than that.

I was Kairi’s Invisible shadow.

It never surprised me when no one remembered my name. Even when my grandpa died and I was called into the office, the principle referred to me as ‘Kairi’s friend”.

I was pretty much used to it.

All that changed the day you and she started talking. It all started by accident too. The both of you just happened to say ‘hello’ to the wrong person was all.

By the end of the month, you two were best of friends. I have to say, at first I was jealous. I always got that way when she made new friends. What if she liked them more than me? What if she decided she didn’t really need me? God knows I’m the most boring person on the planet, so I wouldn’t really blame her if she did.

But after awhile of watching the two of you, I began to notice something different. The way you spoke, the way you laughed, how your long silver hair blew around on windy days…

I tried to convince myself that this was nothing more than my mind playing tricks on me.

That didn’t work.

Each time I came to school, I was always a little happier knowing you were there. I don’t think you noticed me though.

Not that that mattered anyways. I could see it in your eyes – you were so in love with her, that you wouldn’t have time to notice anyone else. Least of all me.

I could also see your disappointment when she always said the two of you were ‘just friends.’ It was obvious to everyone except her that you wanted more.

I guess it’s kind of ironic how when Sora joined your group, she fell for him the same way you fell for her. And I for you…

I am aware that the more she hangs with you and him, the more I seem to fade from her memory. It can’t be helped though. I was never good in groups. She, on the other hand, can’t live without them. Oh well…

By now, I’ve grown accustomed to your back. It’s the one part of your body that I can stare at all I want and not worry about you noticing. You don’t seem to realize that I stare at you often. But neither does she.

I want to tell you how I feel about you…but I don’t think I can. I know you don’t respond to these feelings of mine…but I can dream. At the very least, we’re friends. That’s how you’ve always looked at it, so I guess I have to try too.

But trying doesn’t help. I still think about you all the time.

Even now, when I’m long gone. Moved away for…how long is it? Three? Four years? I’ve been through some changes…as have you I’m sure. Have you gotten her to notice you yet? If not, I hope you tell her soon.

As it turns out, there’s someone here who has feelings for me. I like him…maybe even as much as I do for you. But you…you’re special. You’re different. And you’re out of my reach.

Riku…don’t hate me when I say this. No matter what happens…I still want to be your friend. But I need you to know…

I love you.

And It sucks that you’ll never love me back.

It’s all Unrequited I guess.