Makeup

Summary: Youth was such a long time ago, but then, why does it feel so close?

Spoilers: Season one and two deaths(main character deaths).

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Lost belongs to J.J. Abrams and Co. at ABC

The room was bright. The open door behind her stood ajar within a haunting swril of gold tint, while the room in front of her remained in a brilliant glow. A bed sat by the far wall, coated in pink sheets and pillows. Stuffed animals lined the pillowcases, and one teddy bear stood out in particular as Shannon made her way towards the bed. Picking it up, she gazed down longily at its furry coating, but it was the red heart in the center that caught her eye.

She was nine years old. Boone had only been in her life for a year, but yet he cared so much when she was put in the hospital. And all it was was for having her tonsels taken out. The operation seemed so silly to her stepmom, who decided that a small cup of cheap frozen yogart made up for weeks of a sore throat. But Boone..Boone brought her everything from balloons to candy- all paid for with his own allowance. She was so flattered by the act that suddenly having a brother didn't seem like such a bad idea.

A week after the operation the fighting began. Their parents argued non-stop, and it just seemed so okay to Boone that he could walk around, play with friends, be normal. Shannon, however, didn't know how to react. Her mom died when she was little, and she and Shannon's father had the dream relationship. No fighting envolved at all. But now it was every night, over every little thing. Who was going to pick the kids up, who was supposed to make lunch, who was going to kiss the kids goodnight. Boone was quick to see how this affected Shannon, who remained in her room listening to horrible pop music to cover the noise, and with one simple deed like the teddy bear, Shannon wouldn't feel so bad.

The memory seemed so distant, so far away that sometimes Shannon wondered if she made it up. Maybe she saw something of the sort in a movie or read it in a story. Her childhood came in one blur of need. The need to be loved, the need to be wanted. And Boone gave her that. Yet as she grew older, Shannon discovered choices and opertunities. Rebellion. Now it was all one big regret. If only things stayed tight between the two. If only she accepted her brother's feelings instead of poking around with them, testing the limits. If only she stayed close. If only..

"You ready to go?"

Shannon swirled around at the voice, her hands knocking over some makeup bottles in the process. Even as a kid Shannon felt the need to look her best, hide herself. Knowing people liked the way she looked made her feel better about herself. With every new makeover Shannon could become someone new, and with every new makeover part of reality could be hidden.

This time, however, Shannon let the bottles remain on the floor. Back in childhood, that would've been concidered a sin. But now she was too surprised to notice, too taken aback by the person standing in the doorway. Boone. He looked cleaned up, the psychical scars from his death now gone. Instead of looking troubled or afraid of what lay ahead, Boone looked content, ready to give Shannon a hand. Like always. Boone would never need makeup to cover his wounds; he could do that by himself. For her. Sure enough, he held out a hand for Shannon to take.

As Boone's auora interrupted the glow of the room, black swirls developed behind him, engulfing him. That's why Shannon took his hand. For some reason, she felt like she could help him. She thought for sure she could pull him into the room with him, and they could live their whole childhood over again. A clean slate. But instead, Shannon felt herself being pushed forward, and suddenly the room felt distant, far away. The makeup bottles remained on the floor as they stepped out of the room, and the door closed behind them as Shannon was ripped away from her childhood.

Angry, Shannon wanted nothing more than to be able to jerk away. Why couldn't she get a second chance? She could make things better, she would. She promised she would.

"Hey."

Shannon turned at Boone's voice. Tears watered in her eyes, and Boone's hand was still attached to hers.

"It's going to be okay," he whispered softly.

She heard those words so many times in her life, yet still she nodded. Why did she always believe him? But the sudden feeling of good told her why. Just like that, everything felt okay. Boone could do that to her. That's why. And suddenly, death didn't seem like such a scary thing. After all, she would be able to get a second chance with Boone this way. Just him and her. No makeup.