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And get to the bottom of his game she would.
Tifa had the flowers stowed away in her tote, and she was listening to her feet tap the ground with each step she took toward the florist. Surely someone there would be able to identify the meaning behind the flowers.
By the time she’d found the shop, she was second guessing herself. The constant push-pull struggle she had been feeling lately was coming full circle as she rested her right hand on the door handle. Her pulse was echoing in her ears and her left hand was clenched hard enough that her nails pressed little crescents into her palm. With a sigh, she pushed through the door.
The older woman behind the counter looked up at her from a bouquet she was working on, her smile easing Tifa’s nerves. “Can I help you, dear?”
“I hope so.” Tifa smiled back and fished for the flowers, setting them on the counter. “I was wondering if you might know what these mean.”
“Ah. From an admirer?” The woman displayed a knowing expression.
Tifa fumbled for words, but managed “Sort of…” She wondered if the temperature had risen.
The woman sighed, almost dreamily. “These are very sweet.”
“Really?”
“Yes, very. The apricot blossom symbolizes a timid love. It usually accompanies bolder blooms in natural bouquets. The white violet is also an accent; however the meaning is anything but timid. White violets say ‘Let’s take a chance.’”
Tifa nearly laughed. She was off about what type of flower the white bloom had been. Way off. But the meanings had her silent as a mouse.
“I’d say he’s more than admiring. It sounds to me like he wants to give things a chance to work between the two of you.” The woman winked with a smile. Tifa merely laughed, a drained and forced sound.
She had not expected so much.
“Are you okay, dear?”
Tifa smiled, grabbing for composure. “I am. Thank you so much.”
“My pleasure. Are you going to give him that chance?”
Tifa hesitated, chewing a nail nervously. When she looked into the woman’s eyes, she wanted to hide.
“You know, my husband and I hated one another before we fell in love. I know that sounds strange, but we really didn’t get along at all. Then one day we had to work together on something and we ended up getting to know each other a little. From there, we realized how wrong we had been. I guess the point I’m trying to make is that sometimes if you give someone a chance, they prove you wrong and end up surprising you very much.”
Digesting the story along with her thoughts, Tifa nodded, smiling at the irony. “I think you’re right. I have a lot to think about, but I might just give him that chance.”
“For what it’s worth, I hope you do. Taking the time to choose flowers carefully and particularly the ones he chose says a lot about the man. That’s quite a sweet gesture.”
“Yes… it is.”
“Well, dear, good luck. I hope things work out for you.”
“Thank you…”
“You’re welcome.”
“Take care.”
On her way back home, Tifa’s mind skipped ahead a hundred miles per hour. The meanings had been much more than she’d thought. She had trouble believing that Reno had fallen so hard, but then again she didn’t really know how to predict him. She’d said it before, he was absolutely unpredictable. But was she ready to turn off the road she’d thought would be her path in life? She couldn’t keep her mind from wandering.
Things had pretty much become parallel to a sibling relationship with Cloud in the last week. He was her “older brother.” She was accepting, just like she’d promised herself the night the kids were gone. She didn’t mind anymore, but that didn’t change the fact that she would not want to hurt him. What she couldn’t figure out was whether or not he’d be hurt by her relationship with Reno.
It was time to talk to Cid. He was just as much a confidant as anyone else. He was highly intelligent even if he was rough around the edges, and she appreciated that. He also had an array of experiences in life, and while he was not a relationship guru by any means, she valued his input. And he always, always gave an opinion without sugarcoating. Something that was irreplaceable.
Tifa found the whole group huddled around the couch, some of them looking a little more than hung over. Cid looked practically normal, something she found humorous. He was perched on the arm rest, passively listening to the conversation.
She grabbed the crook of his elbow. “Can I talk to you?”
“Sure, Tifa.”
She escorted him to the front porch, and found the smirk he displayed unnerving.
“This is about Reno, isn’t it?”
“Cid, your drunken memory never ceases to amaze me.”
“It’s my specialty,” he grinned, earning a laugh from Tifa.
“It is about Reno. You know Cloud well enough, I can’t figure out if Reno would bother him. Part of me would say yes, but part of me would say that maybe he’d be generous and give things a chance.”
“That is damn complicated.”
“Yes, it is.” She sighed and leaned against the railing, biting her nails again.
“I don’t know. Hell, I’d be concerned too. The guy tried to kill us all more than once. The whole idea of you and him is already weird enough.”
“I’ve noticed, Cid. But I guess there’s something about him.”
“Like what?”
“He’s… he’s Reno. He’s funny, unpredictable, enjoyable, affectionate, and he’s got a side of mystery to top it all off. There’s a lot to like about him if you look past his... past.”
“I like him, too, for what it’s worth. He’s a barrel of laughs, but he’s also got too much mystery. Can’t read him for shit.”
“I know. That’s what I meant when I said unpredictable…”
“I think everyone can be accepting if you’re happy, even Cloud. But I’d be careful how you go about it. Tiptoeing might not be a bad idea. It’s like cold water; you gotta ease into the idea.”
“Unless you’re easy-going, wonderful Cid.”
“Yeah, that.”
“Thanks, Cid.”
“Anytime. So what’s the deal?”
“Well… I’m supposed to see him tomorrow night.”
“Friday night date. Hey, whatever works for you, works for me. You know that.”
“You’re about the best friend a girl could ask for, you know that?”
“If you say so. I just care, Tif’, and I want you to be happy.”
“And that means a lot to me.”
“Hell, just talk to him.”
“I think I will. When are you heading out?”
“Not sure… I was thinking if it’s okay with you, I’d stick around for a week.”
“I’d like that. I don’t get to see you enough and I might need you around.”
Cid laughed, “What would’ya do without me?”
“Sometimes I wonder…”
---x---
It wasn’t until later that evening that Tifa got her chance to talk to Cloud. After dinner, they’d all gone to the patio for dessert and conversation. The laughter and fun had her feeling warm and secure, but wondering if Reno could ever be welcome in this setting. One by one, Vincent, Yuffie, Barrett, and Cid had gone inside leaving her alone with Cloud. When she finished picking invisible threads from her cotton pants, she looked up to meet his blue eyes and it unnerved her.
“You seem distracted,” he said.
She cleared her throat, “You think so?”
“What’s on your mind?”
A nervous laugh that she found too loud escaped. She felt like such an ass at times. “Mm. Wouldn’t you like to know?” ‘Reverting to that old trick.’
“Actually, yeah, I would.”
“Cloud…” She gave a long sigh, “Everything has changed so much. Nothing is what I thought it would be. Things have happened, and I don’t know what to do anymore.”
It was so comfortable to talk to him. She had to remind herself that she’d be hard pressed to count the times it happened this way. And that would change throughout the course of this conversation, she knew that.
“What’s changed?” He bit his lip, correcting, “I mean, aside from the obvious.”
“I have.”
“I’ve noticed.”
“Really?”
“You seem to be insecure about something. Like you’re sneaking around…”
Another nervous laugh. “Well, I am… that’s probably why it seems that way.”
He looked nervous now. She was uncertain whether she wanted to chart these awkward waters. It was one thing to accept and to move on, it was another to have to tell the story. But if she left it, there would be confusion and surprise. She vowed to go with the truth.
“Cloud, back before we found Sephiroth, I came across Reno. I thought he’d kill me, but instead he kissed me. I now how corny that sounds… like some cheap romance novel.”
His expression was unreadable, and it made her all the more nervous. “That sounds like Reno. Explains why you came in sopping wet that night you went for a walk.”
‘He remembered.’ “Yes, that was the night.”
“So that’s why you were so strange around him the other night?”
“Actually, he’d asked me to meet him.”
She couldn’t believe they were having this conversation. He wasn’t blatantly angry, but she could sense tension.
“Oh.”
And now she knew he was uncomfortable. Things were deteriorating because she’d gone too far with the truth. This wasn’t easing him into it, it was crack the ice and plunge in.
“I should have mentioned something.”
“I knew you’d gone out.”
“I thought so.”
“So…” he paused, trying to place words, “what is going on, then?”
“I’m not even sure.”
“I could tell.”
“Tell what?” She looked at him, confused.
“That he likes you. He kept trying to play it off, especially when he was laughing around with Cid, but he’s pretty obvious.”
“I can’t read him…”
“Well, maybe it’s a guy thing.”
He rose from the chair, heading toward the door. Her heart dropped.
“Are you… bothered by this?” she ventured.
Cloud paused, hand on the door. His eyes seemed distant when he looked at her.
“Honestly… I knew that you’d move on. I want you to; it will mean that you’re happy. I just didn’t expect Reno. That’s a little… out there, Tifa.”
“Yeah, I know. It’s odd to look at an enemy and decide they just aren’t an enemy anymore. That you like them and want to be around them…”
“Maybe I should call Elena.”
Tifa nearly choked on air.
“I’m just kidding,” he grinned.
“Oh…” she laughed, “well, the two of you would look adorable together.” And despite her resolve to move on, she felt the jealousy in her voice and hoped he couldn’t hear it.
“What? That’s terrible.”
“She’s a nice girl.”
“If you start playing match maker…”
He didn’t have to finish the threat. She knew. She wouldn’t, she’d really only made comments to get at him.
“I should get some sleep. I need to take care of a few things tomorrow,” he said.
“Will you be home in the evening?”
“Yeah.”
“Good. Keep the kids company?”
“You’re going out?”
“Yes.”
Neither had to say it, he knew who she was going out with.
“Good night, Tifa.”
“Night.”
She sat on the porch for a long while after he’d gone inside. She hadn’t expected to just pour everything into his lap, but in all honesty it was better than hiding it. They lived together. Eventually he’d know and it was better that she told him.
As she leaned her head into her knees, she wondered if she’d have let go of Cloud had she not met Reno. It bothered her that he’d be the reason. She was a firm believer that letting go of someone simply because someone else comes along was a bad idea. Then again, she’d always known… she’d eventually have to let go and move on. She couldn’t wait forever.
She sighed again, feeling down. She retreated to her room feeling as if she’d been too quick to make decisions. Perhaps the older woman had pressed her and put her mind to it. She fell into bed, exhausted, foregoing her nightly routine in order to peruse her thoughts.
The night had her wondering how tomorrow’s date would go.
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