|Trial By Furry
Author: Sarah's Crack PM
Who says a trial can't be fun?Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance/Humor - Logan & Veronica - Words: 4,321 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 4 - Published: 06-07-06 - Status: Complete - id: 2978598
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Title: Trial By Furry
Author: Sarah :)
Pairing: Logan/Veronica. And some Cliff. Because I love me the Cliff.
Rating: R (for the sexin')
Spoilers: None, really. This is futurefic. I'll say through 2x15, The Quick and the Wed, just to be safe, but there's nothing specific.
Word Count: 3899
Summary: Who says a trial can't be fun?
Disclaimer: Not mine. Duh.
Thanks: To everysingleway for letting me send this to her to look over at the LAST MINUTE OMG. And to herowlness and truemyth, for more last minute betaing. And thanks to all three of you for all of the sweet, sweet lovin'. And! Thanks to all of my enablers friends in chat who pretty much made it so I HAD to write this piece, deadline or not. kantayra, lostt1, rachel shanz, and truemyth, I blame you.
Final notes: I promised herowlness a fic something like this right after 2x15 aired. I'm slow, I know. Anyway, Lizzy, I hope this fulfills said part of our bargain. Hee. This was written really quickly for the loveathons courthouse challenge. It's part of my Babes In Toyland series, and can kind of be read as being set in the same universe as You Put the Boom-Boom Into My Heart, only because of one stupid reference. Heeeeeee.
"What's this room, Mommy?"
Veronica smiled as her daughter slid out of her arms. "This is the daycare. It's not open now, but sometimes during trials, kids wait in here for their parents."
"Look at all of the toys!" The little girl rushed to a table and immediately snatched up a Barbie doll. "I want one!"
"One? You have fifty of them, Mandy. Or, forty-nine now. What did I tell you about leaving your toys on the stairs?" Her father winced at the memory.
The five-year old giggled. "Daddy, Mountain Climber Barbie needed a mountain to climb up. Duh."
Veronica turned to her husband and shook her head. "Duh, Logan."
"Ahh. Right. I forgot how this works. My two best girls always teaming up against me. You'd think I'd be used to it by now." Logan sighed and rolled his eyes skyward. "What's a man to do?"
Veronica wrapped an arm around his waist and leaned over so her head was resting on his shoulder. "Poor baby. There, there. I'm sure I can find some way to make it up to you."
With a smile, Logan moved in and kissed her. "It's a deal."
Before things could progress any further, a crash from across the room drew them out of the moment.
"Amanda! What are you doing? Put that down!" Veronica took in the upended Hungry, Hungry Hippos game board. "And you're going to--"
"Pick it allll up," she replied petulantly, gathering the scattered marbles in her tiny hands. "But I wanna play with someone! Daddy?" She turned big brown eyes to Logan. "I'll even let you be the green one."
"Really?" Logan perked up. Veronica hit him on the shoulder.
"What?" He looked at her pleadingly. "The green one, Veronica! I never get to play green!"
"Daddy and I have to go and sign some papers, honey. We can play later, though." She frowned, a new thought crossing her mind.
"What?" Logan glanced at her, concerned. "Veronica? What's wrong?"
She glanced out in the hallway. "We can't just leave her here, Logan, no matter how fast this is going to be. If there was someone else around that we could just ask to step in and--hey!" Breezing out into the hall, she lightly touched the shoulder of a familiar face around the courthouse. "Cliff! Just the guy I was looking for. Do you have a minute?"
Cliff McCormack groaned. "Veronica. You're a lawyer now. I thought I was done being your patsy." Taking in her earnest expression, he sighed. "Let's cut to the chase. You know I'll say yes. What is it now?"
Veronica smiled brightly. "This time, it's even something legal. Logan and I just need you to stay in here for a few minutes." She motioned to the room behind her. "We're finishing up a settlement, and we just need a couple of signatures. Ten minutes, tops."
"Stay in there and do what? Knit you a sweater?"
She threw open the door to reveal Logan holding his daughter, whom he was tickling relentlessly. "Watch Amanda."
"Oh, no, V. You know I don't do daycare. Me and kids? Don't mix."
"I know, Cliff, but...the sitter canceled, and we both have to be in there. You know as well as I do what kind of unsavory characters lurk around this place." She leaned in conspiratorially. "I even saw Lamb on my way in. Not even you could do that to a five year old. Please?"
"Yeah. Pleeeeeeeeeease?" Amanda stuck her lip out adorably and wriggled in Logan's arms. "We can play a game, Uncle Cliff! Don't you want to play with me?" Her lip began to tremble. Logan looked over at Veronica and winked. Their daughter was a master at sealing the deal.
Cliff rolled his eyes. "Fine. But you'd better be fast. And you two owe me. The next time they bring Loretta in, one of you can deal with her. And I'm no one's 'Uncle Cliff.' Capisce?"
"Capisce." Veronica shook on it and transferred her daughter from Logan's arms to Cliff's. "Thanks a million, Cliff. We'll see you in a few. And you," she placed a gentle kiss on Amanda's forehead, "be good for Cliff, okay? He knows people."
"People? Like who?" The young girl spoke in hushed tones.
"You know that big guy? The one who knows whether you've been bad or good? Cliff knows him." Logan leaned down and spoke in a low voice, motioning to the other man with his head.
"Santa?" she squeaked, her eyes widening.
Logan merely shrugged.
"I'll be good, I promise!" After receiving one last kiss from her father and a wave from her mother, Amanda and Cliff were left alone in the playroom.
"So, kid. What do you want to do?" Cliff looked around the room nervously. "I'm kind of new at this."
"Where are we?" Amanda asked, very seriously.
"You mean in a daycare? Or at the courthouse?"
"What's a courthouse?"
"Uh, a place that houses court, kid. You'll understand when you're older."
Cliff sighed deeply and set her on the ground, attempting to cram himself into one of the kiddie-sized chairs around an equally kiddie-sized table. He groaned and rested his elbows on his knees...which were practically on either side of his head. "It's a place where...people decide whether other people did bad things or not. And it has ergonomically correct chairs. In most rooms, anyway."
"Oh. Like on that movie Mommy and Daddy were watching? With the person in the robe and all of the people talking to a book? That's court?"
"The one and the same."
Wordlessly, Amanda roamed around the room and began pulling various toys off of shelves. When her arms were full, she dumped the bounty in Cliff's lap.
Cliff groaned inwardly at the collection of Barbie dolls and teddy bears in his lap. "You have to pick one thing and stick with it. I'm no good at multitasking."
"I wanna play court!" Running around the room again, she returned with an inflatable gavel. Smacking Cliff on the knee with it a few times for good measure, she waved her arms. "Uncle Cliff! Play! I'm going to be the robe person!"
"Yeah! And you can be the lawyer, like Mommy and Daddy."
"No, like Mommy and Daddy. Daddy said that the difference between them and you is that they're good lawyers. With a di...di...disc...discerning client base. I don't know what that means, but he's really smart."
"Yeah. Smart. Wait'll I have a talk with your Dad later."
"Not as smart as Mommy, though," the little girl continued. "Because one time, Daddy told Mommy that I got all my smartness from her. And then she said--"
"That you got it from your Dad. I know how this story goes."
"Noooo," Amanda answered, speaking like she was talking to someone much younger and much stupider than she. "Mommy said that he was right, and I did get my smart from her. And then Daddy laughed and they kissed and it was yucky." She finished her story and looked over at Cliff. "Now we have to play!"
"Fine, fine." Cliff began sorting through the mass in his lap. "But if we're playing court, we're going to do it right. First we have to make a jury."
Amanda stared at him and blinked, not comprehending.
"You know, a jury? The people who sit in the box and decide on a verdi--you know, you're five years old, and you won't remember any of this tomorrow. Why do I bother?"
"I 'member lots of things. Like I'm not 'posed to talk to strangers, and I have to wash my hands after I go to the bathroom." She nodded proudly.
Cliff rubbed his temples. "Forget I even said anything. Anyway, who're we putting on trial? What's the alleged crime?"
"Ummm..." She thought for a moment, then handed Cliff a mean-looking G.I. Joe action figure. "G.I. Joe stole something."
"You mean he might have stolen something. Innocent until proven guilty--ask your parents about that one. Fine. Am I representing him?"
Amanda stuck one of her fingers in her mouth and shrugged.
"Great. You're a natural at this judge thing, kid. So, what do you know about selecting a jury?"
"It means we have to choose the people who are going to hear my case. I have to pick the best group of people--the people I think'll give me the decision I want. You following this?" Cliff figured if he was stuck baby-sitting, he at least could run down the basics of the legal system with her. Hell, it's not like her lawyer parents had done this. Five years old was plenty old enough to know the finer points of jury selection.
"I wanna be on the jury!"
"You can't. Judge, remember? Let's try this again." Cliff thought for a second. "Okay. Say you did something wrong, and you didn't want to get in trouble. Who would you count on to make sure you didn't get punished?"
Amanda screwed up her face in concentration. "When I spilled my juice all over Daddy's desk, I told Mommy first, because Daddy would be mad. When I broke Mommy's camera, I told Daddy first, because I knew Mommy would be mad."
Cliff nodded his head in admiration. "Not bad, kid. Definitely the product of an Echolls and a Mars. But, anyway, you've got it. Appeal to the parent vote. Looking through these," he motioned to the toys still filling his lap, "who do you think is most likely to let G.I. Joe off without going to jail?"
"Barbie! Cause she's a mommy. And Ken! He's a daddy. Except my Barbie doesn't have babies and won't marry Ken because Mommy said that she doesn't..." She tried to recall the words. "She doesn't need a man to complete her. And then Daddy said that that was stupid, and then they started arguing, and they went upstairs and started making weird noises, and it was scary."
"Weird noises?" Cliff wasn't sure he wanted to hear the rest of this story.
She nodded eagerly, her blonde hair falling in her face as her head bobbed up and down. "And then I heard stuff falling, and Grandpa came and took me to his house, and we had a sleepover and ate candy and I stayed up really late. Then I went home and Mommy and Daddy smiled a lot and said they missed me. And the table in the living room was broken! And my toys were messed up! Daddy wouldn't tell me what happened, but he helped me with my Legos 'cause I built a castle, but it broke. Mommy said it was his fault, and she started laughing, but it wasn't funny, 'cause my Lego people didn't have a house, and it was sad." Amanda took a deep breath.
"Uh, yeah. Good to know your parents are so...happy together."
"Yep! Tina Casablancas said her parents don't live together anymore, because they threw dishes at each other and yelled a lot, and that her dad said my parents were like that, but she's wrong!" A fearful look crossed the girl's face. In a quiet voice, she turned to Cliff, her eyes pleading. "Right? That won't ever happen to my Mommy and Daddy?"
"I am not getting paid enough for this." Cliff groaned and shook his head. "Hell, I'm not even being paid at all. But I've know your parents for a long time, and if they haven't killed each other yet, I'd say they're pretty safe."
"Killing is bad." Amanda stated, very seriously. "They would never do that."
Cliff clenched and unclenched his fist a few times. "Riiiight." He extracted a few Barbie dolls from his lap and set them on the table. "Okay. Who else is on this jury?"
She darted around the room and came back with a few more G.I. Joe figures. "They're his brothers," she explained, pointing to the guilty party.
For a second, Cliff debated telling her that a defendant's brothers would be excused from the jury. Then he remembered that A., he would be telling this to a five year old, and that B., Logan and Veronica were already six minutes over their promised ten minute absence. He abstained.
"Fine. And I'm adding a few Ninja Turtles, because if it's anyone that can relate to a thief, it's a ninja. Anyone else? We're still a jury member short." Cliff smiled to himself. Jury selection without a prosecuting attorney wasn't so bad.
"Here!" Amanda picked up a white bear wearing a very large, very garish sweater with a huge Christmas tree knitted on the front. "Christmas Tree Sweater Bear will be fair and do the right thing, because teddy bears are always nice."
"Ahh, optimism. I remember optimism. Cherish it, kid, because you'll find out that once you get into the real world, not all teddy bears are what they seem."
Amanda's lip began to quiver. "There are bad teddy bears?" she asked, tears welling in her eyes.
"Don't cry! Please, whatever you do, just...don't." Cliff backpedaled. "Of course there aren't any bad teddy bears. It was a metaphor for life, kid. Let's do this trial thing."
"Guilty!" She smushed the inflatable gavel down on the floor and giggled.
"What kind of a judge are you? You can't decide my client's guilty before you even hear the case." He thought for moment, then shrugged. "Actually, scratch that. Keep that up, and you'll have quite the illustrious law career here in Neptune. You'll fit right in."
Before he could begin his opening statement, Cliff was distracted by the sound of people in the hallway.
"Thank God. I think your paren--" His voice trailed off, and he blanched once he heard their voices and some type of smacking noise filtering under the door. He hoped there was something about kids and underdeveloped auditory organs, because if Amanda was hearing this, he was pretty sure there'd be permanent scarring.
"God, Veronica. You know that watching you show Lamb up gets me hot." More wet smacking noises. Cliff put his head in his hands and decided that this was the moment he found prayer. As long as they stopped before they came into the room. As long as they stopped before they came into the room. They were going to stop before they came into the room.
"I know, Logan, but this has to wait until we get home. Amanda--"
"--is in there, I know. But we don't have a sitter. She'll be at home, too." "Oh." "And your Dad's out of town." "Oh." "And you look really, really gorgeous right now." "God, Logan. Right there. Yes. Again!"
"--is in there, I know. But we don't have a sitter. She'll be at home, too."
"And your Dad's out of town."
"And you look really, really gorgeous right now."
"God, Logan. Right there. Yes. Again!"
Cliff groaned. This was not his day.
The two lawyers burst into the daycare, Veronica firmly nestled in Logan's arms.
"Cliff?" Logan's voice was strained. "We really hate to ask this, but could you take Amanda--"
"--to the bathroom?" Veronica finished, gasping for the words. "It'll only take a few minutes."
"Already there." Cliff grabbed the girl's hand and led her out of the room. To his credit, he only grimaced slightly when he heard the sound of a body being pressed into the door he had just closed.
"Why was Daddy carrying Mommy? Is she okay?"
"Yeah, kid, I'm pretty sure she's fine."
"Really? One time, when he did that at home, he said he was playing doctor. Why would he do that if Mommy was okay?"
"You know what? I'm going to take you to the bathroom. You're potty trained and all, right?"
"Uncle Cliff." Amanda leveled him with a withering glare. "I'm five years old." She punctuated her age by splaying the fingers of one hand out to indicate the number. "Duh."
"Good." Gasping noises from the daycare room began to fill the hallway. "Let's go. Now. Quickly."
"Veronica, Veronica, Veronica," he chanted her name against her neck as he pinned her to the door. "Do you know how long I've been waiting for this? It's been three days. Three. Days. Three days without--"
"Longer," she gasped, as his hand moved down her body. "Seventy-eight hours and forty-nine minutes. Not that I'm counting." She pulled away and locked eyes with him. "I've missed you, Logan."
"That's it. We need to tell your father he can never go away on business again. Ever." He dipped and kissed her hungrily. "She's five. She'll start sleeping through the night soon, right?"
Veronica settled her hands in his hair and returned the kiss. "Less talk. More action. We don't have much time." She looked up at the large clock on the wall. "And according to Snoopy, we've been in here for three minutes, and we should be naked already."
"Three minutes? He's never heard of foreplay, then. Snoopy obviously has no idea how to please a woman."
Both of them paused for a moment, then spoke in concert.
"Besides," Veronica bit out as Logan twirled her from the door and into the room, "we don't know how long Cliff'll be gone. I'm all for minimal trauma here."
"Fair enough." Supported by his arms, she reached down and unbuttoned his slacks before hiking her skirt around her waist to the best of her ability. Logan laid her back on the low table in the center of the room. Cliff's jury of stuffed animals scattered, and Veronica called a halt to the action while she pulled a rogue Ninja Turtle out from under her leg. "Kiddie-sized furniture to the rescue," Logan breathed, maneuvering himself between Veronica's open legs. Her hand reached down to stroke his cock a few times before Logan was forced to clamp his hand down over hers. Sliding their entangled hands up her thigh, he unbuttoned her blouse and ran his fingers over her rapidly-hardening nipples. Closing his eyes, Logan groaned and thrust into her waiting body. Because it was so low, the table was at the perfect height for him to penetrate Veronica while keeping her steady, and the two sighed in relief as they were finally joined.
"How durable do you think these things are?" Veronica asked, concerned, as the furniture groaned under her weight. She shifted slightly in an attempt to move off of the toys that pressed into her back on every downward motion.
"Hopefully more sturdy than the coffee table," was all he managed to reply.
Her laughter was cut off by a loud moan as Logan sped up his movements. "Time?"
"Ten minutes," she gasped. "We don't have much longer." Nodding in agreement, Logan trailed his hand from Veronica's breasts to gently massage her clit. Biting back a scream, she fell into orgasm. Two hard thrusts later, Logan joined her.
"That was sad." Logan rested his forehead against his wife's and pressed a kiss to her mouth. "That was nervous high schooler sad. I didn't even last--"
Veronica rolled her eyes and pushed herself into a sitting position on the table. "Ouch." She peeled a G.I. Joe from her shoulder. "Those things hurt. And I hate to break it to you, snookums, but if you lasted any longer, Amanda and Cliff would be getting an eyeful." She buttoned up her shirt and straightened her skirt as best as she could. "How's my hair."
"Hot." Logan zipped his pants and lifted her off the table. "Love you."
"Mmmm. Love you, too." They kissed deeply, Veronica's eyes never leaving the door. "What do you say we make this look slightly less incriminating?"
On Logan's quirked eyebrow, Veronica swept the rest of the jury off of the table and motioned for him to take a seat.
Cliff paused outside his door and raised his hand to knock. "Why don't you let me go in first, kid. Just in case your Mom and Dad are..." As the door opened under his hand, he frowned. "...playing Hungry, Hungry Hippos?"
"You're playing without me!" Amanda ran in and placed both hands on her hips. "That's not very nice."
Logan looked up from the game and smiled. "What do you say we go home and play? Maybe do a little coloring?"
Veronica turned to Cliff, smoothing her hair down and blushing slightly. "Uh, thanks Cliff. You know. For everything."
Cliff winked. "No problem, V. But now on top of taking Loretta's next case, you owe me for pain and suffering. There are some things a man should never be subject to, and hearing you two--"
"Okay, then. That's enough of that. I'll call you later." Veronica herded Cliff out of the room quickly. Turning back to her family, she smiled brightly. "Ready to go home?"
"Mommy," Amanda gasped. "You and Daddy made a mess. You have to clean it up." She looked over the stuffed animals and action figures which were now strewn all over the floor. "I'll help!"
As Veronica and Logan shared a heated look, Amanda began placing the scattered toys back on the shelves. She grabbed one and paused.
"Mommy? Why is Christmas Tree Sweater Bear all sticky?"
"Oh, God." Logan practically wrenched the stuffed figure from her hand, his eyes jerking to meet Veronica's.
She covered quickly. "You know what, Mandy? Why don't we get something out of the vending machine while your father finishes up in here. How does that sound?"
"Can I get a pony? I want a pony! A pony! Pony!" The little girl jumped around excitedly. Logan smiled at her tenderly.
"Yep. She's definitely yours, Veronica."
Veronica rolled her eyes and gathered her child up in her arms. "Unfortunately, sweetie, the day when ponies are stocked in machines and available to anyone with a dollar twenty-five hasn't come yet." She sighed wistfully. "Maybe soon. We can always hope." Shaking her head, she bargained. "Cookies?"
"Cookies! Cookies! Cookies!" Amanda squirmed in Veronica's arms. "I want chocolate chips! And even if you can't get a pony yet, Mommy, at least you have Daddy."
"Hmm." Veronica looked at Logan. "Strange, but she sounds like she must be your daughter, too."
The two smiled and shared a soft kiss over Amanda's head.
"Eww! That's gross."
"Gross, huh?" Veronica looked to Logan, and both of them bent down and began kissing Amanda repeatedly.
"Mommy! Daddy!" Her laughter filled the room. "It's different when you kiss me. You're 'posed to."
"Okay, let's leave Daddy to his work. Meet you in the lounge in a few minutes?"
"It's a date."
Amanda waved good-bye to her father, her face falling slightly.
"What's wrong, Mandy?" Veronica turned her daughter around to face her.
"I miss Daddy."
"We haven't even left yet," she laughed. "And we'll see him soon, okay?"
Amanda nodded. "Bye, Daddy! Love you!"
Logan paused, taking a moment to look at the two people that were his entire life. "I love you too, Mandy. Take care of Mommy until I get there."
Veronica snorted. "Mommy can take care of herself, thank you very much. I'd be more worried about the cookies."
Amanda nodded. "Chocolate chips! Go, go, go! And we'll save one for you, Daddy." She brought her hands together and clapped. "Maybe. So don't take a long time!"
"Good luck on that pony," Logan tugged on Amanda's hair as Veronica kissed him, and they left. Shaking his head and wondering how he got so lucky, Logan turned to clean up. Grabbing the roll of paper towels he found at the back of the room, he began scrubbing down the table.
Very, very, thoroughly.