As Vader rejoined their son, the doubts grew and for a moment, he found himself struggling not to falter. What was more frightening was the thought that flickered into his mind, tempting him to reconsider Luke’s offer. It wouldn’t be too hard—at least not at first—to depart with the young Jedi, to go wherever it was that Luke believed they would go. But it was fanciful thinking and like his need to imagine Dormé was by his side, it wasn’t real. Once he had joined the young Jedi, he motioned the stormtroopers away and prepared to take their son to his Master where he knew he would embark on his final mission and Force willing, finally return home to his beloved.

Dormé watched on as Vader rejoined Luke. Luke, her darling boy—whom she ought to have protected from the emperor—seemed confident, but she could tell he was nervous. She wished she could protect him from this fate, but thought that she was unable to... If only Anakin would listen to her…

Everything seemed to happen so quickly, too quickly in many ways for the broken Sith lord whose sole wish had been to die by their son’s hand. The discovery that Leia was their daughter was a shock to say the least. But before he had a chance to fully process what the truth he had always known in his subconscious, Anakin, in an act of desperation, decided to use the knowledge against their son. Almost as soon as the words escaped his lips, he regretted them for the rush of darkness descended on Luke and, to his surprise, it wasn’t pride he felt, but fear and shame. Not for the death that was certain to come, rather something else entirely that he couldn’t quite say. Confused and filled with despair, he didn’t bother attempting to fight against the young Jedi who defeated him with ease. But to his surprise, shame, and humble pride, Luke did not succumb to the siren’s call and instead choose once more to take the high ground.

Though Luke gave in and defeated his father in combat, he recognised the rush of the dark side and it shamed him. He tossed his lightsaber away saying, ‘Never. I’ll never turn to the dark side. You’ve failed, Your Highness. I am a Jedi, like my father before me.’

Vader wanted to die and felt deserving of the death that was certain to come by Luke’s hand. But when the boy spoke out and said that he was Jedi like his father, Anakin couldn’t deny the fact he was completely humbled and touched by their son’s words. The darkness of his thoughts was beginning to clear and the confusion was beginning to fade into coherency. Luke truly was a far greater man than he ever was and would ever be. Never in his life had he ever felt so proud and yet so ashamed. Struggling against his emotions and the division that was forming in his thoughts, the Sith lord rose to his feet, uncertain of himself and of the situation he now found himself in. He wanted to help his son and yet felt so unworthy to do so, for the despair that was the darkness still reigned strong within him. His deep-rooted wish to see Luke embrace his destiny as a Sith lord was still strong as well even though he no longer wished for Sidious to be his Master.

‘So be it, Jedi. If you will not be turned, then you will be destroyed,’ Darth Sidious hissed before unleashing wave after wave of dark side lightning as Luke cried for his father’s help.

Vader’s instincts told him to protect his son, to stand in the boy’s place, to save the last thing he loved that remained in this world. However, his thoughts were divided and torn asunder as the light and dark warred within him. Anakin found he couldn’t move despite the fact he was desperately trying. It was then that he realized his surroundings were beginning to shift and change before his very eyes. Looking about him, he tried to focus his attentions on their son and on his Master, but it was to no avail. The Force was demanding his attentions and Anakin despite his strength within, he was helpless to resist.

Dormé was unable to stop Luke from being electrocuted by the dark side. The powerful emotions this evoked rushed forth from Anakin and herself to the extent that time stopped and she found herself once more in the tropical forest... The first time she arrived here was after her death.

Slowly Dormé could no longer feel Anakin’s arms around her. She could not see him or hear his voice. She was so tired and when she awoke, it confused her. She breathed in deeply, feeling the dew on the grass. She sat up, noticing her gown was intact. She was not bleeding. Confused, she looked around but did not recognise the location. It was a field, but she heard water in the distance. The moon was high.

‘Anakin?’ she asked as she found her feet. She wandered towards the sound of the flowing water. She called for her beloved, but she was alone. She had a feeling of dread that it was true—that she was dead and despite his proclamations that they were as one and would never be separated, she was here alone. What was worse was that it meant he was alone too.Though her wound was not bleeding, she felt her heart aching, finding it difficult to breathe.

At the water’s edge, she fell to her knees, clutching her chest as she sobbed. How many years had they spent almost every moment together? Now she was utterly alone. Though she had a good idea how this would affect Vader, she had no idea that even in death they were still intimately connected. Little did she know that the pain and suffering from being separated from Anakin would be nothing compared to what she was about to endure.

Through the mist on the lake, an ethereal form of a woman appeared, robed in the royal orange of the Naboo, her long dark hair coiling softly around her. Dormé couldn’t believe her eyes. The spiritual manifestation of the Force, which appeared to her in the form of her former mentor, Saché Maberrie, coalesced on the pool of water and was walking towards her. Confused and angry, Dormé demanded that the spirit would bring her to her beloved. Hissing curses, she wanted to hurt the spirit of the traitor, this demon

The spirit seemed unfazed by this. ‘You are standing at a threshold, Dormé. You will have a choice once this test is concluded.’

Dormé was unable to object or speak— not even to ask question— for this was not really Saché and the Force was too compelling not to be listened to. She couldn’t plug her ears, nor close her eyes as the horrors of what atrocities she committed during her decades with the dark side corrupting her blood assaulted her senses.

Without warning the place shifted and changed.

The battle of Hoth…

The trenches, the Death Star, the destruction of Alderaan…

All off the bodies of the innocent, the bloodshed, the terrorists, the spies, the rebels, the separatists…

The lives she ruined, the family of those who had been killed…

She saw all of them, each and every one of them. Even if she had not slayed them with her own hand, she had provoked much, ordered others, encouraged Vader much of the time.

Each of the dead spoke to her of the consequences of her chosen actions.

‘What is this? Why are you doing this?’ Dormé cried. ‘Anakin, where are you? Make it stop! Make them stop!’ She clamped her hands over her ears, but no matter what she did or where she tried to run, they followed her.

‘You know why you are here,’ Saché said.

Dormé stared at the form, feeling it wasn’t really Saché. Somehow, she knew it was not, that it was merely the manifestation of the Force speaking the truth through the recognizable form of Saché. ‘I am…dead. I’ve died…’

‘Your spirit is polluted with the dark side.’

Though she knew it wasn’t really Saché, Dormé broke down in tears. She knew now. She knew why Captain Typho and Saché did what they did, their honourable sacrifices for freedom, how she had commissioned their deaths, viewing them as traitors. Dormé fell to her knees, clutching the spirit’s ankles as she sobbed. Saché had reached out to her, trying to help her, to bring her back to the light, but Dormé had turned her away. ‘Saché, I’m so sorry… Can you ever forgive me?’

The Force remained placid, yet with a caring expression. ‘You have a choice, young one.’

She felt the spirit’s hand touching her hair. ‘I have always had a choice,’ she conceded through her remorseful tears. ‘I have been so stupid.’

‘You have a chance to redeem yourself. You can give him that chance too.’

‘I don’t understand. I don’t know what you mean,’ she said.

Then it hit her.

She knew how much influence she had on Vader, how she encouraged him in his evil deeds. She recalled the times where his conscience peeked through, but she defensively argued he was justified for it. The worst of this was the assault on the JediTemple—that she defended the slaughter of the younglings. It was as if she were wielding the lightsaber herself. There had been so many atrocities committed in her name, all of them coming back to her now, wracking her with guilt as the souls, so many souls, returned to haunt her once more. She recalled all of them, even the jilted lovers whose hearts she broke so many years ago.

Suddenly, the intense flashes of memories sharpened to a single one. This was brighter and more vivid than any of the other memories were. It was in the senator’s living quarters on Coruscant during Dormé’s first year as a full-fledged handmaiden. She was standing near Padmé and Captain Typho near the balcony, the door slid open and Jar-Jar greeted the Jedi. It was then as she moved toward the doorway that she saw him.

Dormé had to do a double-take.

It was Anakin as he had been before the Clone Wars began, before Mustafar, before the Empire, before becoming Darth Vader…

She had almost forgotten what he used to look like for she had grown to love the man bearing the scars and prosthetics, who did not have a single hair on his head. Tears came to her eyes seeing him like this, so young and naïve. They had been so innocent back then, before the dark times, before the Sith.

He looked like an entirely different person without the influence of the dark side, but his eyes, his luminous blue eyes, assured her it was really him. He was looking past Padmé to where she stood and it was as though there were no one else in the room. He was looking at her the way he had for the past twenty years. She felt as though her heart stopped in her chest. Her dearest friend and beloved husband...

She missed him so much and did not dare to think how her passing affected him. And then the words of the Force spoke to her. What if Anakin was unable to accompany her into the realms of harmony because of their crimes?

If there was only one thing she could do, Dormé wanted to ensure Anakin’s return to the light, so that at least he would be granted the harmony he deserved. Even if it meant she would sacrifice that everlasting grace, she would gladly do so for his sake.

Standing before the lake once more, she asked the form the Force had chosen to take if there were anything she could do to help Anakin.

‘Your choice has been granted.’

There was a lake here and a thick fog that was soon parting. She knew she would have some control in his dream vision. Soon she saw him making his way through the trees. It was nearly like how it was in that other in-between place, where the Force came to her in all shapes and manners, showing her things from her life that she was responsible for. ‘Anakin?’

Vader found himself in the clearing. He always visited this forest in his dreams. Confused and fearing for their son, he glanced around quickly calling out for Luke and then for Dormé. Soon he believed it was a hopeless cause and just as he was about to depart for the forest’s edge—where the mist seemed to separate him from his beloved in his dreams—Anakin heard Dormé’s voice and felt her presence.

‘Anakin? Can you see me, my love?’ She walked across the small clearing to where he was.

Whirling around, the Sith lord found himself coming face-to-face to his beloved who now was approaching him. Rendered speechless by his emotions, Vader could only stare at his goddess in hopeful disbelief, fearing she would fade away the minute he drew to close. But she was real and upon realizing that she was not about to slip away, Anakin rushed to her and pulled her into a tight embrace as, for the moment, the safety of their son was forgotten. ‘Dormé, my beautiful goddess, my beloved, how I’ve missed you,’ he breathed between tears of joy.

Here it was different than reality, for when she embraced him, she actually felt him in her arms. Now, she knew she wasn’t alone. He was here in this liminal space between the living and what comes after. ‘Oh Anakin! How I have missed you!’ she exclaimed with all of her heart, momentarily forgetting the purpose of her return. Holding him again, almost as she used to before her death, caused her to break down. She couldn’t help the overwhelming emotions that overtook her. ‘Anakin, Anakin…oh, my love…’ Dormé couldn’t say his name enough times, nor could she hold him tight enough. His voice, how she had missed that too, the way he felt in her arms, the way it felt to have his hands in her hair... She never wanted to forget a single thing about him.

After a lifetime of being apart from his beloved or so it felt Vader was unable to contain his emotions and holding her tightly he too spoke her name repeatedly as though she were a goddess who had bestowed her presence on him—a mere mortal. Her tears mingled freely with his own. He could feel her holding him as though she too feared he might disappear in a moment’s whim. Running his fingers through her hair, the fallen Jedi thanked the Force, the gods, all the powers that be, for returning his beloved to him once more. Though he vaguely wondered if he was dead, the thought was a fleeting one as all that truly mattered to him was that his dearest queen was in his arms where she belonged. ‘My beloved, how lost I’ve been without you, but you are here now and I am once more complete,’ he whispered. Moving to kiss her lips, Anakin feared that if he spoke further, he would lose what little control he had of himself and break down completely.

She knew–oh how she knew!–the desperation, sorrow, and despair that plagued her beloved at her death. Dormé felt it as powerfully as he did and it was such a relief to be here with him, to know it would not be long before they would eternally be together once more. She wouldn’t have registered if she was causing him pain or if his grip would render bruises on her skin because she couldn’t hold him tight enough or be held tight enough after so long. But it was hard to look forward to that when she was already partially with him now. It was so close to being real, that it was incredibly hard to remember her task, the reason she wanted, needed to speak with him now. It was especially difficult when she was losing and finding her true self in his kiss. His touch, the lingering scent of spices that so reminded her of him, and the taste of his lips... My beloved king, how I have missed you...

Her kiss spoke volumes and resonated deeply within his soul and for a moment Anakin finally remembered what it was like to whole once more. Holding her tightly as though he were a drowning man who had been saved he kissed her with all the passion and love he held for her. Dormé, my dearest goddess, never leave me. Please, never go, his thoughts begged as he continued to kiss her until the memory of all he wanted to speak to her returned to him.

It seemed like an eternity since she last held him, peered into his blue eyes, tasted his lips... She knew she had missed him, but it was only now she fully realised just how much. Now, in his arms, she was whole again. One kiss, one embrace, was never enough and yet it was that longing that caused her to remember her purpose for returning: to help him on the path to redemption so they could be together for eternity.

Drawing their kiss to a close, the Sith lord gently place his hands to her cheeks as he studied her with a fierce intensity. His eyes shone with love, but bore the weight of his shame and guilt as all he could think about was that it was his fault that she died, that had he not been so selfish, so lost in his own desires, Dormé would still be by his side. The thought caused him to bow his head as he furrowed his brow deeply obviously struggling with his thoughts and emotions. ‘I am so sorry, Dormé, for doing this to you. It was my selfishness and impatience that killed you,’ he admitted in sorrow filled tones as he recalled the doctor’s fatalistic words during her last days. ‘If it wasn’t for me, you would still be alive—Oh Dormé, please forgive me. I was such an ignorant fool!’ he continued as tears once more filled his eyes. ‘You have given me nothing but peace and in turn I’ve given you nothing but sorrow!’

At his words, tears flowed freely down her cheeks, but she shook her head as she stroked his cheek. ‘No, no...’ she said. ‘Anakin, you gave me your heart and your love. I never thought I could experience such happiness as I have with you–’ she passionately replied, though her throat was choked with emotion.

Vader furrowed his brow at her words and in the back of his mind he recalled the words of another: In end, you will be her demise and she, your saviour.His eyes wavered to the memory and at the words his beloved spoke Anakin could only shake his head as sorrow flooded his thoughts. ‘No Dormé, you don’t understand—I wasted our last moments together chasing after what would have been ours if only I hadn’t been so impatient. I destroyed you, my love, and I am so sorry,’ he said in sorrow filled but sincere tones as he caressed her cheeks with his thumbs.

‘I understand why I had to die, Anakin. It was meant to happen...’ Wanting him to know this was not a flight of fancy or mere dream of portence, she told him things he could not possibly know. ‘I have seen things, experienced things on the other side...so much pain and suffering...horrors of my own making...’ This was going to be so difficult and she knew there was a high chance he would shut her out, which would break her heart.

The more she spoke, the more confused it left the Sith lord who could only study in her silence. If he had any doubts that this wasn’t real, that it was his imagination playing tricks on his broken heart, he didn’t anymore. He wasn’t certain what frightened him more the fact this was real or the fact that he would eventually have to awaken from this vision. Shaking his head at her words, he gave her a look of disbelief as he furrowed his brow. Surely, she had to understand this wasn’t her fault, none of this was. If anyone was at fault it was the insurgents who constantly sought to destroy their happiness and destroy their empire. Or worse, himself for being so selfish, costing what little happiness they had together and could have had together in the years to come. ‘Horrors of your own making? But you did nothing wrong, Dormé. You have no reason to blame yourself. These horrors you speak of are the rebel’s fault. They are the ones who caused the innocent to suffer and brought chaos to the Empire’s order,’ he concluded gently feeling awful to see her look so troubled and wanting nothing more than to comfort her.

For over two decades they had encouraged this line of thinking, encouraging each other through words of love and comfort. Even with her enlightenment through the Force, it was so very hard not to succumb to her husband’s words. She wanted to believe in the lies they had been telling themselves for years.

‘You are innocent my love. Believe me you have done nothing wrong. You have been nothing but selfless and caring, a goddess of peace in my universe of chaos and war.’

Closing her eyes momentarily, she struggled against herself, knowing her heart was correct and prayed that he would follow. After everything she had witnessed, hearing and seeing the consequences of her choices and actions, she wanted to atone for those crimes, to somehow make amends. But feeling Anakin’s hand on her cheek gently assuring her that she had done nothing wrong, that they were the traitors, it was so hard not to believe him. ‘I am no goddess, Anakin.’ She couldn’t meet his eyes as the shame of her past crimes rushed to the forefront of her thoughts.

Gently stroking her cheek Anakin found himself growing confused by her reaction. He had meant to calm her fears to alleviate her unfounded guilt. But the more he spoke, the more he felt her shame through the Force. It was only when she admitted to not being a goddess did the Sith lord realise that in reality his words had done little more than further her sorrow. Confused he shook his head as she lowered her gaze. ‘Dormé, please listen to me. This isn’t your fault, it is theirs—’ he hesitated and then fell silent as Dormé gaze met his eyes once more as she continued to speak. Her words made no sense to the fallen Jedi and yet deep down he knew she was right. But the thought was just too painful to consider for in doing so it would mean having to admit he had become the very thing he hated so much.

Finally meeting his eyes once more, she admitted, hard as it was that: ‘Our Empire...we went about it all wrong to begin with and it is partially my fault for encouraging it when I shouldn’t have and Luke–’ She stopped herself short when a knot caught in her throat.

Shaking his head, he studied her intently as his eyes wavered to her faltered words. ‘What are you saying?’ he balked unable to believe what she was trying to say or rather closing his thoughts and heart to them. ‘You’re making no sense,’ he continued as the darkness warned him that she was talking like a rebel, that she had turned into a traitor. But this too was one lie too many and though he tried desperately to deny the facts this was one thing he could not believe. Dormé had never and would never betray him. ‘My love, listen to me you’re just confused. I know you don’t mean this. You are the most loyal person I’ve ever met, I know you would never turn, you would never do this to us,’ he said fervently not able to register that he only need look at himself if he wanted to find a traitor. ‘All you’ve ever been was supportive and loving to me, to Luke. You’ve always been my foundation, my bedrock. The traitors are the rebel’s the one’s who are in the wrong are them!’ he pleaded desperately wanting her believe what he believed to be the truth.

‘–The Emperor is going to kill Luke,’ she concluded, forcing herself not to listen to the lies anymore. Dormé knew his heart. She knew it was the darkness calling her a traitor, not her beloved. She would not be persuaded by the distrusting, guilt-tripping dark side and her belief in Anakin was unwavering. No matter how much it would hurt, she vowed she would not give up on him, on their love.

At Dormé’s blunt conclusion Anakin furrowed his brow and shook his head. ‘He can’t, he won’t. He wants Luke to embrace is his destiny to become a Sith lord,’ he said quickly in reply though it was only then that he began to realize that he truly didn’t want Luke to follow the dark side. But even now the answer that should be so obvious evaded him.

‘No,’ Dormé shook her head. ‘He means to kill him for being a Jedi, for refusing to be a Sith. Please don’t let him–’

Anakin’s expression grew fearful to Dormé’s words and despite his ignorance of the situation he knew without question that if it were to come to that he would do everything in his power to protect their son. What he couldn’t understand was just why he felt such pride and shame at Dormé’s words—the reminder of Luke’s choice to resist the dark side and the fact he did not. ‘I won’t let my Master kill our son—I can’t,’ he concluded as only now he recalled the events that occurred before he found himself here. The thought filled his heart with fear for their son and left him feeling torn. He had to save their son and yet he knew if he did, it would mean having to leave Dormé. He had yet to realize that in this place time moved of its own accord and that the reason he was here was not just to be reunited with his beloved.

‘Do you remember that time...when I told you I could not–bear you children... Do you remember your reaction? You felt it was your fault because of the lives of the younglings you took in the Jedi Temple all those years ago.’

But then she began to speak of the past, reminding him of his crimes at the temple. The one line he knew even as a Sith lord that he shouldn’t have crossed. Frowning deeply he struggled with her words not wanting to believe what she was saying and yet unable to ignore the fact that even then her reassurances couldn’t quite convince him that his actions were justified. It was because of this that her words began to strike a chord within him. However he was still not ready to listen, or to understand its true meaning. It was just far too easy to cling to the lies especially with the truth being so painful.

Dormé took a shaky breath before continuing. ‘Oh my love, your conscience was telling you the truth and I–I encouraged you to ignore it! I have encouraged so many evils in you and I don’t think I can ever forgive myself for it...’ If anyone was to blame for this, she felt it was partially hers, despite the fact she was unable to recognise the darkness before the brief experience of Anakin losing his powers...

Shaking his head, Vader glanced away. What started as a wonderful moment was now turning rapidly sour for the Sith lord who began to withdraw from her embrace. The truth hurt and though he tried to run it was becoming increasingly difficult to hide or deny it, especially with his dearest beloved acting as its avatar. ‘Why are you doing this? Why are you speaking of such things to me now? You know as well as I do they would have only grown up to become our enemies. I had no choice...’ he said almost desperately as he began to pace.

‘The only thing I know that is real and true is my love for you, Anakin. That is the only thing that kept me sane during my trial in the in-between worlds. If you can believe in nothing else, you must believe in that. That is the reason I am here, the reason I was able to return to you.’

Torn between his instinctive desire to leave, to bury the truth as he had always done before and remain, Anakin felt his thoughts being pulled into two directions. Deep down, he knew she was right but hearing it aloud was overwhelming and to accept it meant he would have to look within himself once more. To do so would mean facing things he did not want to face. It had been a lifetime since he had looked in the mirror and seen the monster that was really there, instead of the man he believed himself to be. But despite the dark side that continued to tell him lies—that he was only doing his duty, that even the younglings were traitors—Anakin couldn’t hide from the glaring truth. However, instead of registering the fact his beloved was only trying to save him, that her painful words were meant to heal, all he saw was a threat. Panicked and fearful that he was losing her, the fallen Jedi began to lash out. Pausing in mid-stride he stopped and stared at her with an expression that was both pained and angered. ‘What’s happening to you? Where is the Dormé I know and love?’

She watched as he paced, allowing him to challenge her. He wasn’t listening to her. She should have expected it. She knew how he would react even before he did, but that didn’t prepare her for his reaction. His words tore at her heart and she had to believe he didn’t mean it. If she believed them, she wouldn’t be able to go on. He was speaking from his fears and denial. She knew this defensive mechanism all too well. He was falling back on old habits because it was familiar, whereas the truth of things was unfamiliar and scary. She exhaled, trying to remain confident in her convictions. It would be all too easy to beg his forgiveness, saying she didn’t know what came over her, that she was being silly. But she knew she could not do that. She would be damned if he did not join her in the realms of harmony!

‘You don’t really believe that nonsense do you? Listen to me, Dormé, you’ve done nothing but encourage me to embrace my destiny and become something greater than I am. Now...Now you’re saying that you were wrong? That everything we’ve done was for nothing, that we’re actually the evil ones?’ the anger faded from his features as his despair grew more evident. Though her words had left its mark, Anakin was not consciously listening to the meaning behind them and in place of hope he only felt despair. ‘What have I done to make you feel this way? How did I wrong you so badly that you actually regret our times together?’ he said in barely audible tones as the tears once more collected in his eyes.

Though he had been the one to move away from her, Dormé could not stand the despair radiating from him because of her words. The wind caught up her hair as she walked over to him, reaching up to rest a hand on his chest where in the real world his lung had collapsed. ‘My only regret is leaving you, Anakin,’ she murmured, tears returning to her eyes as well.

I have lost you once Dormé, I can’t bear to lose you again, he thought in sorrow unaware of the fact that he was the only one who now remained lost. As though sensing these thoughts Dormé quietly approached him and placed her hand against his chest. Closing his eyes the Sith lord was unable to ignore the lump that formed in his throat as she spoke in soft tones. Though he tried to contain the tears a few still spilled. ‘Mine was letting you go...And not being able to join you,’ he whispered in a voice thick with emotion.

She had wanted nothing more than to remain with him, to grow old with him, but it had been taken away from her because of the dark side. ‘That is why you must listen to me.’

Her final words hung in the air, causing his heart to ache. A soft voice deep within reminded him that in freeing her from being a handmaiden, he condemned her to a life of darkness. Though he refused to let himself believe that he had poisoned her with his darkness, the stirrings of the truth would not be so easily dismissed, leaving him feeling both vulnerable and torn. He wanted to help her, but he did not know how to, or rather he did, but the possibility of embracing the facts was too painful to consider and he continued to cling to the lies. ‘But I am listening to you, Dormé,’ he pleaded as his eyes snapped open while his thoughts began to spiral out of control. The truth was growing harder to ignore and yet the Sith lord couldn’t bring himself to admit that he was the traitor. Despite his love for Dormé and his believed loyalty to her, the dark side was truly his lover and mistress. It was because of his inability to let go of his selfish and greedy ways that Dormé was killed. It was her love for him that now ensured that Vader was given this one last chance to redeem himself. Shaking his head, Anakin studied her in confusion and dismay. ‘I don’t understand why it is that you believe we’re in the wrong. Why you actually think these rebels, these Separatists are innocent. We were the loyal ones, Dormé, not them. We never faltered in our duties or our loyalties,’ he continued repeating himself once more before falling silent as the despair once more became evident in his scarred features.

‘Not all of them were innocent, you’re right,’ she admitted, ‘but so many of those souls we claimed were innocent. We indulged in their fear and relished in the flow of their blood... We didn’t only destroy lives, we destroyed families as well...what could have been our family...’ Dormé was not here to blame or to judge, only to speak the truth. Had the dark side not consumed them, in all likelihood they might have been able to have children, but even with Luke, they failed. She was actually thankful now that they hadn’t, for who knew what sort of people they would have grown up to become if they had been born under the influence of such evil. But there was a chance now to make it up to Luke if Anakin chose take it.

Vader listened in silence to Dormé’s admittance feeling for a flickering moment that perhaps she had come to her senses. But the thought was fleeting for Dormé was once more touching on matters that until now had always been so clear to him. However what had once been so black and white to Anakin was now rapidly becoming a hazy shade of grey. The Sith lord’s sense of right and wrong was beginning to shift and with it came a powerful sense—a powerful need to look within himself for the answers he already knew but feared to face. However, after so many years of denial such truth was hard to face and though he knew his time for running away had come to an end he continued to fruitlessly try. ‘But we were only upholding order in place of the chaos...’ he pleaded softly. But even as he spoke these words, the Sith lord was finding it increasingly difficult to believe in them as he once did.

‘I cannot move on without you, Anakin. I refuse to.’ It had already been so long without him that she knew she would not be able to bear it much longer; the ache was too powerful.

‘I don’t want to hold you back, but I don’t know how I can possibly help you move on,’ he softly concluded believing that somehow this unfounded guilt was the reason why she remained. ‘If it is my physical existence that keeps you here Dormé I promise you have no intention of remaining in the realm of the living for long. For without you I am truly but a shadow who longs to just fade away,’ he then added as this thought too occurred to him—which in reality too was nothing more than the darkness striving to prevent him from seeing the truth. Yet despite his wish to help Dormé in her quest, there was still a small part of him that was grateful for the fact she did remain, if not for anything then for the fact he was able to see her again now. However, he knew enough to know this wasn’t right and so he found himself actually beginning to truly listen to her words so he could find some way to help her.

When he spoke of his physical form, she couldn’t help allowing tears to escape. ‘No, my love, it’s not just that... I was given a choice. I chose to stay because I don’t want to go on to the realms of Harmony without you. To do so, you must see the errors we made. Though we cannot change what has passed, we can take responsibility for the crimes we have committed and ask the forgiveness of those souls whose lives we claimed without mercy.’

Anakin felt the struggle within grow ever worse. Desperately, he tried to wrap the darkness around him, to cling to the lies but Dormé’s words cut through them as though they were but threads of silk. ‘Why are you telling me this? Dormé, all we did was helped heal the dying Republic and breathed new life into it so it could become the Empire it is now,’ he continued in desperate tones as the guilt and despair within began to grow too great to ignore. His need to run kept him from accepting the truth and so what should have been obvious evaded him leaving Vader to presume Dormé’s return to him was for every other reason but the truth.

The answer revealed itself soon enough and with it, came the end of Anakin’s attempts to run away. Speechless he could only stare at her in pained silence as his expression slowly shifted from blatant denial to the slow realization of the truth.

For with her words came the sound of voices crying to the heavens, the silent requiem of the souls of the younglings he had slaughtered. In his mind, Anakin began to see their lifeless faces staring at him with hollow eyes. He tried to ignore them, to ignore the feelings of guilt they encouraged but the harder he tried the more powerful it became.

It wasn’t just the younglings he saw, but his former comrades too as well as the officers he had killed for no reason, the innocent lives who had the misfortune of crossing his path at the wrong time. But it wasn’t the sight of them falling to his blade or to the dark side of the Force that was terrifying or shaming. It was the fact he was seeing it as through it was through their eyes, just as he could feel hear their cries through the Force.

Frozen in position, the Sith lord could no longer register his surroundings for he had become too lost in the horror of his thoughts to be able to respond to anything else. Without fully realizing his actions, Anakin’s right hand, now trembling, reached out to take Dormé’s. For in that moment, he felt as though he were drowning in a sea of shame, despair, and guilt. His beloved goddess was the only one left who could save him from himself.

Dormé was unable to respond to his defensive assertions and fruitless questions as something outside of the both of them took over this dreamscape. Anakin was now seeing what she had seen and he seemed farther away as she reached for him. The images assaulted him, but she only viewed them as translucent figures moving too swiftly to make sense of. Registering the waves of guilt and horror, she wanted to go to him, but felt as though she were being held back by an unseen force. It wasn’t until he reached out for her that she was able to hold his hand; her left in his right, their strongest hands united through this trial. It was then that she felt the darkness releasing its hold on him. She would never let him go. He would not have to face this alone, she assured him by squeezing his hand.

Caught under the blade of the merciless truth, Vader could only watch in horror as he witnessed and experienced first-hand the weight of his actions. Never before had he ever considered the other side or how his crimes had affected so many lives. He hadn’t cared. To him they were nothing more than traitors deserving of their demise. The heady rush that he felt with every kill was but the elation of a victory well earned. Of justice and order being restored. Now he knew the truth and as hard as it was for him to face, Anakin could not deny that he had become the very thing he despised and hated. His prey had never been traitors at all, it had been him all along and the corrupted he once cursed was in reality none other than himself.

As the images and experiences continued to unfold without mercy or hesitation the Sith lord felt as though he were being crushed by the weight of his guilt and shame. When he tried to close his eyes the images burned within them, when he tuned out their silent screams they only grew louder. No matter how much he long to run away, to ignore and deny the facts Anakin could no long deny or hide from his consciousness. Panicked and overwhelmed by his awakening to the truth and to the light Vader reached out for Dormé as though he were a drowning man reaching for a life preserve. Only when he felt her slender but scarred fingers slip into his own calloused hand was the Sith lord able to truly let go of the darkness and embrace the light.

As Vader underwent his catharsis, Dormé remained by his side until he released her hand and collapsed to his knees, sobbing. His sobs tore at her heart, but she was so thankful at having been given this opportunity. Her faith in him was unwavering.

Releasing his hand from Dormé’s own, Anakin then dropped to his knees as he began to sob as though his tears would break him into two. Clutching onto the skirts of Dormé’s gown as he sobbed the fallen Jedi finally accepted the truth of who he was and what he had allowed himself to become. It was painful and hard, but liberating at the same time. Never had he ever been more ashamed of himself or aware of his crimes as he was in that moment. But more importantly, never in his life had he ever been more grateful to Dormé for saving him either.

In the storm of sorrow and shame that flooded his thoughts, the fallen Jedi found himself needing his beloved’s presence more than ever and yet feeling so unworthy of it. Suddenly the weight of her words earlier became terrifyingly clear to him. Had it not been for her love Anakin knew he would have surely been lost. Just as it was her love that saved him from drowning in his guilt and shame thus devouring the light that was beginning to return. It was then too that he recalled the shaman’s words to him and realised just how accurate she had been once more. He had truly destroyed Dormé, poisoning her with the Dark side just as he influenced and brought out the darkness within her. The thought was terrifying and this too added to his sorrow, shame and regret which caused him to weep as though his heart was breaking into two. ‘...It’s my fault...All of it is my fault...You have done nothing but save me, Dormé...but I—I destroyed you...I am so sorry, Dormé...I am so very sorry...’

As he clutched her gown, like a mortal begging for mercy, Dormé, like the goddess he continually said she was, extended her arm to touch his cheek. After everything they had been through, the sins they committed together, after everything, he was her constant, her soulmate. She would not succumb to the realms of discord and neither would he. Together, they were stronger.

The tears continued to spill despite the comfort her gentle touch offered. ‘By the Force what have I become? What have I done Dormé? ...So much innocent blood has been spilled, so many lives lost...all because of me...Because of my selfish greed...I am so sorry...Force help me I am so sorry...’ he whispered in between tears, his voice thick with sorrow and emotion.

He desperately wished that there could be some way to undo the damage done, to go back and do it all over again. But it was too late and though he was repentant for his crimes against humanity, Anakin knew there was little he could do to properly make amends. How he longed to beg for forgiveness, but after living a lifetime of showing no mercy, he felt so unworthy of asking to have it given to him. It was then that he realized that it had already been given, that Dormé was the avatar of this unspoken mercy and forgiveness. Never in his life did he ever feel so humbled or so grateful and as she gently guided his gaze so he may look at her the broken Sith lord found himself staring into eyes filled with compassion. It was only when she kissed his scarred flesh that he once more found the courage to speak.

‘...Oh my dearest Dormé, I don’t know what to say, I know don’t deserve this mercy, this kindness, not after all I have done to you—to everyone...’ he continued in despairing tones as he studied her with haunted and sorrow filled eyes.

Dormé listened to every word of his repentance, remaining steadfast until the overwhelming sorrow was too much to ignore. She touched his cheek and kissed his forehead in a benediction as though she had the ability of a goddess to abolish sins. She couldn’t help feeling joyful that she had not been wrong about him, that her faith had not been misplaced. She stooped slightly to take his hands from her gown, pulling him to stand in front of her.‘We are both to blame for encouraging the crimes we indulged in. All we can do now is atone for the misdeeds and do what we can with the time given us.’

The tears shed were purifying despite the immense guilt and sorrow that he felt. It was as cleansing as her presence was soothing. Her words and touch drew his attentions to her once more and, studying her in silence, he found his heart clenching in reply. While he would always bear guilt for his actions and how they affected her, Anakin knew she was right. He never forced her to do anything she didn’t want to, just as she never forced him either. They fed and encouraged each other in times of evil and now they would atone and make their amends for their crimes together as well.

Bowing his head in humble acceptance the former Sith lord closed his eyes as he moved to hold her close. ‘My love, my dearest Dormé...’ he whispered softly his voice still thick with emotion. There was so much he wanted to say, so much that had to be said and yet there were no words that could ever fully describe his thoughts or his emotions in that moment. As though reading his thoughts, his dearest beloved kissed him and through the Force whispered into his thoughts what his heart longed to say.

Dormé kissed him then, whispering into his thoughts through their Force bond for the very first time. ‘Nussuqum sutallulum, kissing you, I am whole.’ It was a most ancient and sacred benediction and one that was meant for a moment such as this.

Upon hearing those sacred words, his thoughts filled with such humble joy that it was almost overwhelming. In silence, he pulled her closer as though fearing if he let go she would fade away. Returning her kiss, he gently spoke in her thoughts as well, his voice soft and shy. ‘You and I are one, now and always.’

The pair shared their first kiss on the light side of the Force and Dormé relished the thought that it would now only be a matter of time before they would be able to truly be together in the realms of Harmony. For now, she contented herself with this. Though it was subtle, now that she completed her mission, the Force beckoned her to let him return to reality. She herself felt as though she was also being pulled out of this dreamscape. Dormé knew Anakin needed to help Luke and though his catharsis had taken hours, in the real world, it happened within a matter of a few seconds. ‘Our son needs you,’ she murmured, stroking his scarred cheek.

Though it wasn’t in the flesh, it was a moment Anakin would never forget. However, something shifted between them and the fallen Jedi sensed that their moment together was ending. His heart clenched at the thought and as she stroked his cheek her murmured words drew his thoughts to the present. It was then that he recalled the events that brought him to this place and the thought filled him with fear for Luke’s safety. ‘I need to return to him,’ he said softly with obvious concern.

‘This is your last mission, Anakin. And then you will return to me and we shall be together for eternity.’

It was then that Dormé him that this would be his last mission, his one final chance to do save what little good was left in his life. Studying her with fierce intensity the former Sith lord nodded gently in reply before giving her a loving smile. ‘I will not fail you or Luke,’ he assured her in sincere tones before leaning in to steal one last kiss, for he could feel his own conscious shifting as though he were beginning to surface to consciousness once more. Then gently touching her cheek, Anakin gave her one last smile as he whispered softly in reply, ‘I will return to you soon. I promise.’

The dark Force lightening was unbearable, causing wave after wave of horrendous pain to sear Luke’s body. He couldn’t help crying out to his father for help. ‘Father, please!’

Anakin soon found himself returning to the familiar surroundings of his former Master’s throne room. Now that his body was once more his to control the former Sith lord did not hesitate to act. Without a further thought, he moved behind the elder Sith lord and with his free hand proceeded to lift him well over his head with the intent of ending this madness once and for all.

For Palpatine, the swift change in Vader’s Force signature from despairingly dark, almost immobilised with depression, to resolute and hopeful, went unnoticed. So caught up in the dark side’s rush, enjoying the agony he brought upon the filthy Jedi, Darth Sidious was unable to sense his former apprentice’s redemption. Nor was he prepared for Vader’s attack.

Luke was confused at first when the lightening ceased torturing him, but when he witnessed his father hauling up the Emperor and throwing him down the reactor core, he was so proud of him and so thankful. He got up and rushed over to his father in an effort to help get him off the Death Star so they could start over as father and son Jedi Knights.

With Darth Sidious caught completely off guard there was little chance of failure. But Anakin’s victory would be brief for in the process of saving Luke the former Sith lord soon fell prey to the powerful Dark Force lightning which encompassed his towering form. The pain was overwhelming and yet in a strange sense it was equally satisfying. For he knew it was the least that he deserved after all the damage he had caused but more importantly in doing this he had ensured their son’s safety.

Despite his determination, the damage caused by the Force lightning was taking its toll on his broken body and by the time Darth Sidious was sent to his death Anakin’s protective armour was utterly destroyed. Utterly exhausted and struggling to breathe, Anakin leant heavily over the railing of the reactor core’s edge. He knew his time was running out but this did not bother him for all that remained on his mind now was their son’s safety. He wanted to tell Luke to get away, to leave before the Death Star exploded but he was tired and so incredibly weak. It was a struggle to even breathe, nevermind speak so left with no other option for the moment, the former Sith lord shyly touched Luke’s thoughts to learn if he was all right and to encourage him to leave. But the young man would have none of it and was soon rushing to his aid. At first Anakin attempted to protest but given his wounds and the damage done to his protective suit left him almost helpless to resist. Upon realising that Luke was not about to back down Vader focused his energy and strength on helping their son’s attempts to rescue him, despite the fact he knew it was too late.

After the pain passed, Luke registered the alteration in his father’s Force signature. It was warmer and clearer than it ever had been before. Somehow, Luke knew that this was Anakin Skywalker, his father. Darth Vader was no more. He would be able to save his father from this Death Star and they would start a new Jedi Order together...and they could train Leia in the ways of the Force...and they would be a family!

Their departure was a chaotic one and though Anakin did his best to help Luke in what way he could ultimately his body -now broken beyond repair- could no longer keep up. Stumbling, he eventually dropped to his knees as they approached the escape ship only to have Luke try to pull him into the ship. Nevertheless despite Luke’s desperate attempts Anakin knew it was time and with this in mind he collected his energy and began to speak through struggling breaths. ‘Luke...Help me take this mask off,’ he pleaded as he began to feel and sense the Force drawing his spirit back to it. Though he couldn’t see her Anakin also knew that Dormé was waiting for him even now and as much as he wanted to remain with their son he did not wish to keep her waiting for long.

As he was forced to end up dragging his father to the ship, he knew time was not on their side. His request to remove the mask awakened Luke to reality. ‘But you’ll die!’

Time had long since run out for Anakin but in this moment there was still a part of him that longed to do one last thing. At his request Luke expressed his fears and through the Force he could feel their son’s concern radiating from him. Though he didn’t want the boy to feel badly the former Sith lord couldn’t deny the fact that Luke’s concern was touching. But despite this he refused to give into Luke’s wish and once more he made his last request to which the young Jedi complied.

After Father insisted that he wanted Luke to do so, he complied. He was partially curious to see what his father looked like beneath the mask as well, but he was incredibly disturbing to feel that his Force signature was growing weaker with each passing moment.

As the mask was removed, Anakin found himself feeling both shy and conscious of his appearance. He could only imagine how he looked in Luke’s eyes but as his eyes settled on their son he immediately realised that Luke did not care. The discovery immediately made him think of Dormé and as the Force continued to call to him the fallen Jedi found that not only could he sense his beloved’s presence but he could almost see her from the edge of his view. ‘Now go...leave me...’ he said in struggling tones as he gasped for breath. It would only be a matter of moments before he would no longer be able to resist the call of the Force and he did not want Luke to bear witness to it. The boy was far too innocent in his opinion to be witness to such things despite the fact he had witnessed much death during his days serving the resistance.

Luke tried to argue otherwise and though this too was touching Anakin knew it was time and at the young Jedi’s words Anakin gave a hint of a smile as his eyes began to focus on the image of his beloved. Though Dormé was ultimately the one who saved his soul, Luke too had played his part for if it had not been for his decision to resist the darkness Anakin wouldn’t have experienced the vision that had saved him. It was with this in mind that the former Sith lord spoke his final words to their son telling the young man that he had saved him and that he had been right all along. That Leia, their daughter, needed to know this as well. While he wanted to apologise to her as well, to show her he was no longer he monster she knew him to be, Anakin could no longer resist the call of the Force.

Luke bowed his head as his father’s body expired and slowly became one with the Force. Knowing there was little time for grieving, he took the armour with him on the ship with the intention of burning it on a funeral pyre on Endor. He took his father’s final words and whispering through the Force to heart. Anakin Skywalker who fell, yet was redeemed through the love of his family would be remembered not for his atrocities as Vader, but for the Jedi he was. This is what he would tell his sister.

As Anakin’s eyes settled onto Dormé, he could feel his soul beginning to drift from his broken shell and as he gazed upon her a smile crept into his features. He had completed his final mission and now he could finally go home. As his spirit left his body the fallen Jedi whispered one last thought to Luke in passing, a final goodbye: ‘You will never be alone, for we will always be near...’

Dormé looked on as Luke unmasked Anakin, feeling the Force drawing his spirit. The humble joy and pride he felt for their son brought tears to her eyes, though they were not shed. And soon, her own joy magnified as the time grew closer. The expectation almost made her giddy. All of the years seemed to melt away as her spirit was also transformed to her pre-Sith influenced days, yet her knowledge of the past events remained intact. The colours here were so vibrant and rich. The air was warm and clear as was the sky. She touched one of the native flowers to be assured that it was no illusion. When she looked up, it was then that she saw him.

Anakin held his breath as he felt his surroundings shift and grow distant leaving him in a place far more beautiful than anything he could have ever imagined. Glancing around, his thoughts immediately turned to her and for a moment he couldn’t help but wonder if this too was but a magnificent dream. But suddenly he caught the all too familiar scent of rain-soaked flowers and almost immediately his eyes fell onto the beauty that was his beloved. Speechless, he could only watch as she gently touched the flowers nearest to her. Tears collected in his eyes as he prayed this was no dream, that this was real. She looked just as she did the first day he set eyes on her and soon, he realised that he too was in his body as it was before the darkness ravaged it.

It had been so long since those days before his fall that she almost didn’t believe it to be true. There were no scars, no artificial limbs; he was completely as he was before. If it were not for his eyes, she wouldn’t have recognised him at first. Though she had heard stories that in the realms of Harmony there were no tears, Dormé couldn’t help crying as she quickened her pace towards him. ‘ANAKIN!’

As her attentions turned to him and all coherent thought fled leaving in its place only the rush of complete and utter joy. It was only as she spoke his name that he was he able to pull himself out of his daze and rush towards her. ‘Dormé, my love...It’s over...we’re free...’ he whispered as he moved to pull her into a tight embrace. As buried his face in her hair, he murmured in a voice filled with joy, ‘My dearest Dormé, with you I am truly complete...’

He was home. They were home. And they would never be parted again.

A/N: Thanks for joining us on this wild ride. I hope we've peaked your interest enough that you'll want to read The Ill-Made Handmaiden and coming soon: The Empire. Questions? Comments? Review, please! Tell us anything you particularly liked or didn't like. Be sure to check out The Empire preview listed at the LJ group and accessable via the main Anakin/Vader + Dormé portal.

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