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Lady K. d'Azrael
Author of 20 Stories |
Author's Notes: As per request of Pe-ni Sukotsu (she who must be obeyed): 'Kate, why can't Sephiroth get off with Rufus? You can make it happen: you have the power!'Quite right too… and who am I to resist the muse when she speaks so insistently in my ear and feeds me rice cakes?
Rufus (in manner of Dream from Sukisyo): 'Date-o! date-o! date-o!'
Terminology note: 'vanilla' is a term which the S&M community contemptuously use for that affectionate, non-violent sex that norms have. See Preaching to the Perverted.
P.S. Sorry once again Kadaj fans (he's such a whingy little shonen-ai uke in this).
"Kadaj, what is this?" Sephiroth had grasped a fistful of the back of his youngest son's t-shirt to prevent him from escaping upstairs after his brothers.
"Umm… I don't know?" Kadaj attempted to look clueless and innocent when faced with the official letter that was being waved at him.
"Well I'll tell you, shall I?" Sephiroth said in a strained voice. "It's a letter from Principal ShinRa asking me to come to his office and discuss your behaviour. 'Inattention in class… lateness… truancy… failure to hand in work… disrespect to members of staff…'"
Kadaj winced at this litany of misdemeanours. His father folded up the letter and gave him a hard stare.
"Well Kadaj? What have you got to say for yourself?"
"It's just school… it's not like it matters."
"It's your Sophomore year! If you don't start working now you might not graduate! Do you want to throw away your life? Don't you want to go to college?"
"Dad... I don't want to talk about it. It's my life! Get off my back…" Kadaj pulled away from his father and stomped up the stairs.
"You're grounded, young man!" Sephiroth shouted.
"I'm still grounded from last time!" Kadaj pointed out, before slamming his door with more than usual force.
Sephiroth sighed and ran his hands back through his hair: he felt like he had lost his children. Yazoo and Loz were always skipping off out the door to see their respective boyfriend and girlfriend, or otherwise they were ensconced with the afore-mentioned love interests in their bedrooms. Kadaj on the other hand had just gone into himself: he seemed to spend most of his time alone in his room.
The previous evening he had asked Cloud Strife if he knew anything about his son's behaviour. Cloud shook his head and said that Kadaj did not really confide in him anymore, though they still hung out; he said he would ask Vincent Valentine what he knew. Then he asked if Sephiroth would please loosen the restraints just a little: Sephiroth chuckled indulgently and said no, he certainly would not.
The frosted-glass door opened and Sephiroth came forward.
"Principal ShinRa," he said, extending his hand. The blond man took his hand in both of his own and shook it in a presidential manner.
"Please, call me Rufus. If you'll grant me the same freedom, of course…?" he raised one eyebrow questioningly.
"Sephiroth."
"Se-phi-roth," Rufus smiled. "What an elegant name: do come and sit down." He stood back graciously and gestured to a chair before the desk.
Sephiroth sat and Rufus took his own seat, his hands folded neatly on top of each other on the desk top, his posture very straight. He was dressed in a gray suit of a modern cut; the jacket had been removed and was slung over his chair back, so he sat in his shirt-sleeves and his vest. His glossy ash-blond hair was parted to one side, making him look like some hot-shot young politician. He couldn't be more than thirty, thirty-five, Sephiroth thought.
"Your wife couldn't be here?" Rufus asked.
"I'm not married…" Sephiroth replied, "not anymore."
Rufus smiled shrewdly. "But you still wear your ring."
Sephiroth twisted the gold band self-consciously, bumping it against his knuckle. "Oh, I've worn it since I was eighteen: I must have grown since then, because it doesn't come off."
Rufus looked down at the file before him and opened it. "So your son lives with you? Your three sons, rather. Loz and Yazoo are yours too…"
"Yes, they all live with me. Their mother… isn't in contact anymore."
"Three teenage sons to take care of on your own… I can't say I envy you," Rufus smiled again, his eyes were piercing. "And you work?"
"Yes, I work in finance."
"You must have a very incisive mind. I see where Yazoo gets his aptitude for well… everything." He flipped through the file again.
"Yazoo never worries me… except, do you know a red haired boy called Reno?"
Rufus laughed richly and sat back in his chair. "You see that file there?" he gestured to a stack of papers heaped on top of a cabinet, bound together with straining rubber bands. "That's Reno's."
Sephiroth shook his head and groaned.
"He's a good kid really, you know," Rufus confided. "Just doesn't know when to shut his mouth and keep himself out of trouble. He reminds me a little of your Kadaj."
"Kadaj used to be so well behaved," Sephiroth lamented. "We used to be close when he was younger, but lately, I don't know. Ever since he started wearing black and calling himself a Nihilist, there's no talking to him."
"Some teenagers are more difficult than others," Rufus sighed. "Does he seem happy at home?"
Sephiroth laughed. "Happy? I think he makes it his mission to appear miserable. It's part of his look…"
The intercom on Rufus' desk buzzed dully.
"Excuse me," he told Sephiroth. "Yes?" he said impatiently, pushing the button.
The secretary's voice crackled as she informed Rufus of his next appointment.
He sighed heavily and looked back at Sephiroth.
"I'm so sorry about all of this: my days are not my own. Please let me get back to you on this matter."
"Of course," Sephiroth murmured, taking a business card from the inner pocket of his jacket and passing it to the principal. "Do you think there's something I should do about Kadaj in the short-term?" Sephiroth asked with a serious expression as Rufus escorted him to the door and opened it.
Rufus smiled again, his voice warm. "It's clear to me that you're a very competent parent. I'm sure you know what's best for him."
Yazoo, Loz and Sephiroth were sitting at the dinner table; Kadaj was conspicuously absent.
"Is he going to sulk all evening?" Sephiroth wondered aloud, passing the salad bowl to his middle son. "I'm not going to bring him any dinner. He'll have to come down and eat with us if he wants anything."
"You know that isn't true, dad," Loz smiled. "You'll totally cave and bring him something."
"No I won't," Sephiroth asserted. "Not this time."
"What's the matter with him anyway?" Loz asked.
"Oh, I had to go and speak to your principal today. He's in trouble…"
Yazoo sighed. "What's mini-goth done now?"
"Don't call him that," Sephiroth chided. "You could help him you know. Maybe he's struggling with his school work."
"I'm already helping Loz and Reno. I'm not a free tutoring service you know dad!"
"Besides," said Loz, "Kadaj is smart. He never has trouble understanding anything, he just doesn't want to do any work."
Sephiroth had to concede that this was true, but it did not dissipate his annoyance at the middle sibling. He looked accusatorily at Yazoo: "Well it doesn't help that you and Loz have always had your little club of two. You could try including your brother, make him feel involved…"
"Dad…" Yazoo said reasonably. "I know you're worried about Kadaj, but he wouldn't like it if you forced him to hang around with us. We're his lame older brothers: we embarrass him."
Sephiroth sighed. "I'm sure you're right, Yazoo. I'm sorry: I didn't mean to snap at you."
"Don't worry about him," Yazoo touched his father's hand. "He's just in an awkward phase."
When they had finished dinner Loz and Yazoo cleared up, and Sephiroth made his youngest son a sandwich and ascended the stairs.
"Go away!" yelled Kadaj as he knocked. As usual, Sephiroth ignored this greeting and entered the bedroom, cast in a perpetual artificial night by the heavy curtains and purple-painted walls. The room was lit by a few church candles, the air heavy with sandalwood incense and industrial rock music.
"I brought you something to eat," Sephiroth told him, turning down the music.
"I'm not hungry." Kadaj was face-down on his bed.
"I cut the crusts off."
Kadaj flopped onto his back and rolled his kohl-rimmed eyes at his father. "Dad, I'm not five."
"Then stop acting like it," Sephiroth smiled, setting the plate down on the floor by Kadaj's bed and seating himself on the edge.
"You see the principal today?" Kadaj asked.
"I did. He seems like a very reasonable man: I don't think you should try his patience."
Kadaj sighed and turned his back again. He hated it when his father did the whole 'I'm not angry… I'm disappointed' act.
"Goodnight Kadaj," Sephiroth said quietly, touching his son's head as he stood up to leave the room.
He walked across the landing towards his study, hearing the sound of Yazoo and Loz laughter echoing up the stairs from the kitchen as they talked about their lovers.
"I know how good he is Yazoo," Loz was saying. "I can hear you yelling it through the wall."
"What about you? 'Oh Tifa, touch me right there… oh yeah Tifa…'"
"Shut up, I do not sound like that!"
Sephiroth shook his head and closed the door behind himself to shut out this chatter. He looked at the paperwork before him blankly for several minutes before his cell phone rang.
"Hello?" he answered without even looking at the number displayed.
"What are you wearing?" Cloud's voice enquired.
"Black slacks, white shirt: nothing exciting."
"Mmm, you sound tense. Want me to come over and take care of you?"
"Too early. Kids are still up."
"Hmm, then you need to send them to bed earlier." Cloud said in disappointment: Sephiroth could imagine his pout, the tilt of his slim face.
"I'm too tired to play with you anyway," Sephiroth sighed. "You're so demanding."
"We wouldn't have to do anything kinky — could just lie down together and kiss. I never get bored of kissing you."
"Ugh," Sephiroth said, "vanilla? I didn't know you were into that."
"You don't have to do the domination act with me all the time, you know."
"It's not an act," Sephiroth became annoyed. "Don't get any wrong ideas into your pretty little head Cloud: it's just sex between us and it's never going to be anything else."
"Ok," Cloud's voice was faint. "Sorry Sephiroth."
Somehow Cloud's capitulation annoyed him more than argument would have.
"Did you talk to Vincent?" he asked, changing the subject.
"Yeah: he says that Kadaj seems fine to him, not depressed anyway… he's going to talk it out with him though. But it's not like Vince is star pupil: far as I can tell he only turns up to school when Kadaj has free periods, so you might need to find someone else to provide academic encouragement."
"Thanks Cloud," Sephiroth told him.
"No problem."
"So… what are you wearing?"
"Nothing," Cloud stretched out on his bedspread.
"Nothing?"
"Except the ring you put through my nipple." Cloud touched the fresh piercing, pressing against the tender flesh just enough to make himself wince. "Still hurts: stings like hell when I put salt water on it. I keep getting really hot in class every time my shirt rubs against it."
"Bad boy," Sephiroth smiled. "You remember the reason I gave you that?"
"Because I belong to you," Cloud answered. "You can do whatever you want with my body."
"That's right: you think about that every time it hurts you."
Cloud looked down at the piercing: the bearing which completed the circle of silver was in the shape of a wolf's head. "I do," he replied. His fingertips trailed from his chest over his stomach, down towards his hardening cock. "Oh, why do you get me excited and tell me I can't come over? You're so cruel."
"You love it when I torment you," Sephiroth told him with a grin, pressing the red hang-up button on the phone; it rang again almost immediately. "Cloud, I said no," he snapped.
There was male laughter at the other end. "I see I've called at a bad time."
Sephiroth frowned. "Who is this?"
"Rufus ShinRa."
"Ah, yes… I've had a stressful evening. Excuse me: I wasn't expecting your call."
"You sound like a man in desperate need of a drink. Or better yet, drinks and dinner: would you care to join me tomorrow night?"
The rule Sephiroth had made was that no boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends (with the exception of Cloud, who was treated like a member of their family and who had always wandered in and out as he pleased), and hangers-on in general were allowed to mooch around the house on school nights: a diktat which Loz and Yazoo had taken to mean 'Tifa and Reno can live here at weekends'. Yet the house was strangely quiet for a Friday evening: Loz was upstairs getting ready to go out; Kadaj and Cloud were sitting in the dining room, comparing sketches for a sculpture they planned on constructing (art and English being the only classes either of them ever put any effort into). The drawings, Kadaj's light and with finer details, Cloud's more three-dimensional and practical, were of a great winged monster they referred to as 'Behemoth'. As Sephiroth passed the doorway of the dining room on his way out of the kitchen, he saw that the blond teen was gesturing earnestly with his hands, charcoal smudges on his cheek and forehead, and taking about negative space.
Yazoo was asleep on the living room couch, his feet in Reno's lap. Reno was looking down lovingly at Yazoo's angelic face, his left arm stretched across the top of the couch, the finger backs of the other stroking the sole of one foot. The TV was on low, playing a black and white movie where the heroine's face loomed large and teary. Coming into the room Sephiroth was made to feel a little uncomfortable at the intimacy of the tableau of the couple on the sofa; it was somehow worse than catching them kissing, because it was not something he could ascribe to simple teenage lust.
"Yo, General," said Reno affably, this being the irritating nickname he had come up with for Sephiroth upon observing that he ran his household like an army barracks. Yazoo stirred, wiggling his toes and stretching, catlike; he sat up, rubbing his eyes and reached instinctively for his boyfriend, long arms winding around the red-head's neck.
"Yazoo," Sephiroth said, and his middle son started, not having realised that there was someone else in the room.
"Hmm?" he asked sleepily, a dreamy smile still on his face.
"I'm going out tonight. Can you make sure Kadaj eats something? Something sensible, that is, not just popcorn and Jolly Ranchers. And Cloud too… that boy is always too pale."
Reno saluted. "We will totally force-feed them if necessary."
"Where are you going?" Yazoo asked.
"Just out. I won't be back late."
"How come you're all dressed up?" Yazoo observed that his father was looking smart-casual, freshly shaved, and had tied back a section of his hair
"No I'm not," Sephiroth scowled: he should have realised Yazoo would rumble him.
"Daddy, have you got a date?" Yazoo slipped off the sofa and followed the retreating older man back into the kitchen.
"No! It's not a date: it's just dinner."
"With who?"
"No-one you know."
Sephiroth's eldest son chose this moment to hurtle down the stairs and start searching for the car keys so that he could go and collect his girlfriend from cheerleading practise.
"Loz!" Yazoo cried. "Dad has a secret DATE!"
Sephiroth sighed. "Yazoo, go back to the living room and leave me alone. I'm not telling you anything."
"C'mon dad, what's she like?" Loz urged.
"Or he?" Yazoo speculated, dancing a gleeful circle around the elder man, who was standing with his arms folded.
Cloud looked up at the two eldest brothers and their father as they stood framed by the archway and as he caught Sephiroth's eye he gave a confused, hurt sort of look, but the commotion was suddenly interrupted by the doorbell ringing.
"I'll get it," said Sephiroth, striding past his eldest children. He opened the door to Rufus ShinRa, attempting to block the principal from sight. Rufus took in his awkward posture and looked past him to see three silver heads peering round the doorframe of one room, wearing identical grins. Then a red head appeared from the next room over and a familiar voice cried: "hey it's my buddy Principal ShinRa! Nice going, General!"
"Shut up Reno!" Sephiroth turned to glare, catching sight of Cloud's sheepish face as he joined the onlookers at the kitchen door.
"Quite a full house you have tonight," Rufus commented, apparently unruffled by the prying eyes or Reno's tactless comment.
Sephiroth made a noise of exasperation and slammed the door behind himself as he stepped out on to the porch. "It's like a zoo."
"Well," Rufus smiled. "let's see if I can't make you unwind with a little adult conversation." He opened the passenger door to his car for Sephiroth.
"How come you're so good at everything?" the red-head enquired, watching Yazoo chop vegetables with precision.
"I'm not good at everything," Yazoo protested, "I suck at dodge ball, for instance. Stir the béchamel, would you?"
"The what now?"
"The white sauce."
"Ok, how come you know how to cook then?"
"My dad taught me: he's a great cook. He wanted to teach us all when we were kids, so he said we'd start off with baking cookies. But Kadaj just ate all the dough and made himself sick, and Loz burnt himself and cried, so it ended up being just me and dad."
"And how come you know like everything about science and math n' shit?"
"Because I'm a genius as well as a beauty, ok?"
"I've got a theory," said Reno, crossing his arms.
"What's that?"
"No accusations yet: I'm still gathering the evidence."
Yazoo sighed. "Ok Reno, be infuriating. Help me put this lasagne together, then we can put it in the oven and go upstairs for forty minutes." He gave a meaningful glance in the direction of the bedroom.
"Again? I thought you were all tired out from earlier…" Reno hooked his thumbs through Yazoo's belt loops and pulled him close.
"I want a turn on top," Yazoo told him, tugging on the silver hoop through Reno's ear with his teeth.
"I can hear you," Kadaj complained from the next room.
"Yeah, so can I," Cloud added. "Who are you kidding Yazoo? You'd so obviously bottom to a potted plant."
"Cloud!" Kadaj glared at his friend. "That's my brother, dude."
"What kind of plant?" Reno called. "I'm imagining a fern."
"Shut up, Reno!" Yazoo snapped and the red-head yelped as he got snacked on the ass with a wooden spoon.
Rufus sat at once upright and at ease, wearing a suit of light-colored linen; he leaned over and poured the other man a glass of white wine, a slight smile playing about his lips as he met Sephiroth's gaze.
"I have to say, I was surprised by your invitation," Sephiroth said.
"I imagine so, judging by your telephone manner." Rufus smiled more broadly. "It must seem rather sudden and forward of me, but to own the truth, yesterday afternoon was not the first time I laid eyes on you."
"No?"
"I think it was one of those parent evenings a few months ago, you were being dragged around by your three children, all trying to take you in opposite directions…"
"Sounds familiar, but I don't recall meeting with you then."
"No, I observed you. I wanted to come and introduce myself, but I'd been cornered by one or another of the dull parents of overachievers. I believe what caught my attention was the distinctive way you moved and spoke. You seemed so calm and controlled: I admired that."
"I used to be a soldier," Sephiroth explained.
Rufus dipped his glossy, groomed head and caressed the stem of his wine glass with his fingertips.
"Was that it then?" Sephiroth enquired.
"Hmm?"
"You admire my bearing? My grace under pressure?"
"That isn't the full extent of my interest in you, no: you're also a singularly attractive man. I expect you get told that all the time."
Sephiroth laughed incredulously. "Not often, no." That wasn't strictly true: Cloud told him all the time that he was the most beautiful creature on the planet, and he sometimes woke up to find the restless teen was perched on the edge of the bed, sketching him, but there was a difference between Cloud's naïve enthusiasm and being told by this urbane man opposite him that he was 'singularly attractive'.
"Perhaps your looks are too exotic to be appreciated by just anyone… an acquired taste." Rufus sipped his wine. "Such pale skin, such fine features but a strong, masculine jaw line.. it makes you look unearthly, almost sinister."
Sephiroth almost replied that that Cloud always said that he looked like a fallen angel, but he stopped himself. "And you find that a desirable quality in a man: having a sinister appearance?"
Rufus merely laughed, but he did not reveal why he found the comment so amusing.
"The General's orders," Reno told him.
"Do you want something to eat, Cloud?" Yazoo asked, infuriating his younger brother with is perpetual politeness to the blond, since Kadaj suspected that there might be a secret crush as a motive.
Cloud shook his head: he had been looking troubled for the last hour, and had become quiet. "I'm going to go home," he announced, standing up and gathering his drawings.
"Stay for dinner," Yazoo pressed. "Dad says you look like you don't get fed at home and that we have to look after you."
"Sephiroth said that?" Cloud looked perplexed: Sephiroth never expressed any concern for his well-being when they were alone together.
"Yeah," Reno seconded. "Sit back down, dude. We'll go and steal something from his cellar and really take him up on his offer of hospitality."
"Reno!" Yazoo exclaimed, following the red-head as he went to the wine rack. "No Reno: not the Borolo! He'll kill you!"
Loz and Tifa arrived in just in time and everyone pulled up a chair and sat down, Reno appearing with glasses and pouring Chianti like a sommelier as Yazoo carried through the food. Kadaj found himself caught up in the scene, enjoying himself even. Loz and Yazoo were laughing at Reno, who was complaining that "no-one ever worries about whether I've had dinner," while shovelling lasagne into his mouth with a fork.
"That's because everyone knows that you can fend for yourself, Reno," Yazoo replied indulgently.
Even Cloud smiled at this, and soon those around the dinner table were talking vivaciously: Loz and Tifa laughed about the lackadaisical temperament of their coach, and Yazoo joined in to complain about being called a girl by him; Reno engaged Cloud in a pointless argument about the alleged crapness of a local band (which the blond liked). Kadaj began to think that maybe his brothers and their friends were not so bad after all: Yazoo's cooking was pretty good too, but he would never tell him that.
"I wonder how daddy's date is going," Yazoo commented, taking a sip of wine.
Tifa nodded at her friend. "With Rufus ShinRa: he's a dark horse."
Loz looked thoughtful. "I wonder why he didn't tell us."
"Probably because he knew Yazoo would spazz out and dance around him like an idiot," replied Kadaj tartly.
"I just want dad to be as happy as I am," said the middle sibling defensively, putting his hand on Reno's knee. "I want him to find someone special."
Kadaj rolled his eyes at his brother. "Nobody could be as moronically happy as you are unless they had a lobotomy."
Loz frowned. "I don't get you Kadaj: what do you have to be so unhappy about all the time? I mean, you're smart and you have a really handsome guy who follows you around and thinks you're great…"
"Yeah," Yazoo added. "I mean what's the deal with you and Vincent? Are you going out with him or just leading him on?"
"What goes on between me and Vincent is none of your business."
"I don't mean to seem like I'm siding with your brothers," Cloud said. "But it is clear Vincent likes you and it isn't nice to be kept hanging. If you don't want to be with him you should tell him." This said, the blond lapsed back into silence.
Having seen Rufus order dinner, his detailed instructions threatening to overwhelm the nervous-looking waiter, Sephiroth could well believe this sentiment.
"I admire a man who knows what he wants, who demands excellence," the long-haired man told him, glancing down at his own meal and cutting into the venison fillet.
"I suspected… hoped, rather, that you'd understand me perfectly without the tediousness of me having to explain. Giving instructions is one thing with regards to my teaching staff and waiters: I need my lovers to have initiative."
"I think I comprehend you, Rufus." Sephiroth reached across the table and trailed his finger through the fine film of blood on Rufus' plate and licked it: the principal's grey-blue eyes widened. "But you must understand that my own tastes are 'exotic', as you put it: I'm not sure we're compatible."
Rufus seemed to regain his composure, and looking up he calmly replied: "there's no harm in putting these things to the test."
Kadaj was lying on his bed reading Edgar Allan Poe when he heard a sharp crack against the window pane. When it was followed by another, and yet another, he went to investigate.
There was a dark figure in his backyard, and only when it moved and he saw the rippling of long hair, did he know who it was. Kadaj pulled up the window sash and leaned out.
"Hey Vincent… I thought you were Cloud!"
"I thought we'd established that I'm not Cloud." The older youth replied as he began to climb the drainpipe.
"My dad's out," Kadaj called. "You can come in the front door."
"Where's the fun in that?" Vincent asked as the silver-haired boy pulled him through the window and they tumbled on to the bed.
Kadaj laughed. "I'm beginning to think that you're not cool at all, since you apparently have nothing better to do on a Friday night than hang out with me."
"I was out… my band had a gig," Vincent said, pulling Kadaj close and kissing his neck, making the ticklish silver-haired boy wriggle. "So what's your excuse?"
"I'm grounded again. Plus, Cloud got all moody and wouldn't come with me to the party tonight, so it didn't even seem worth sneaking out."
"What's wrong with Strife now?"
"Who knows? I think he's got a secret lover or something: he's been acting weird for weeks… It's not like I even care anymore."
"Liar," Vincent grinned.
"It's true. I mean, he's my best friend, but still… a big pain in the ass. He's always so tragic and moody…"
"This from the guy who stays in alone and reads poetry by candlelight?" Vincent tossed the book off the bed. Kadaj laughed, dipping his head and pushing his hair behind his ear.
"You're so cute when you do that," Vincent leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to the side of Kadaj's mouth. Kadaj leaned into it, letting his eyes fall closed. Vincent's leather jacket smelled of cigarette smoke from the club he had been in all evening.
"Do you think," Kadaj began cautiously, drawing back and taking the other boy's hands in his own, "that I'm leading you on?"
"That depends on whether you're planning on taking this anywhere."
"I don't know… I'm confused. I don't want to hurt you Vincent, you've been so good to me."
"You make it sound like charity — I just wanted to be close to you."
"I guess… maybe I'm just not used to having anyone like me back. I kinda got off on that whole unrequited love thing. I knew Cloud would never want me the way I wanted him and it made it safe… Does that make sense?"
"Of course."
"I do like you Vincent… I think about you all the time." Kadaj touched his chest with his fingertips. "When you kiss me my heart beats really fast and it's scary. It makes me freak out and panic."
"That's good," Vincent told him. "Very good. I was worried I had no effect on you at all." He leaned in and kissed the silver-haired boy again: Kadaj gasped softly and returned the kiss with more fervour than he had ever done before. When they broke apart Kadaj lowered his head and hid behind his hair, blushing faintly.
"So what do you say?" Vincent's voice was lower even than usual, his hands on the other boy's upper arms. "You want to be my boy?"
"Yeah," Kadaj hugged him around his middle, burying his face in the soft cotton of Vincent's t-shirt.
"Yes, I would," the other man replied, taking in the apartment as they passed into the living room, which was adjoined by an open-plan kitchen in beech and brushed steel.
"Make yourself at home," Rufus said as he went to examine the drinks cabinet.
It didn't look like anyone had ever made themselves at home in Rufus' house: it looked like a furniture showroom, all perfectly arranged cushions on top of the angular leather couches, and a glass coffee table unmarked by fingerprints, upon which were carefully laid three magazines, slightly fanned out in an affectation of casualness. He had a cream carpet, for fuck's sake, Sephiroth noted as he slipped off his jacket and draped it across the back of an armchair and seated himself upon a couch. He thought of his own house, filled with the clutter that came with the lives of three teenagers: Kadaj's CDs and drawings strewn about; Yazoo's books and clothes; Loz's sports equipment. Their kitchen was full of jars of spices, bottles of oils and vinegars clustered in corners of the worktop, stacks of cookery books piled on the window sill. Rufus' foodstuffs, presuming he had any, were all concealed behind soundlessly sliding drawers.
"What would you like?" Rufus called from the kitchen, bending down and examining the contents of a cupboard. "Vodka, vermouth, scotch…"
"Scotch sounds good."
"Actually it's Irish whiskey," the host amended, examining the label under the low lighting.
"Even better."
"I won't insult you by asking if you want ice," Rufus said as he poured. He re-entered the living area and took a seat next to Sephiroth, handing him the glass. Sephiroth sipped, rolling the liquor around in his mouth before letting it slide down his throat. He was thinking, in a moment of memory association, of Cloud Strife, and the defiant way he had thrown back his drink and pressed the cold glass to his throat.
"You have excellent taste," he commented.
Rufus smiled and tilted his glass in a salute. "In all things."
"So… your home is lovely. Very neat," Sephiroth said with a mocking glint to his eye.
"What does that infer?"
"You don't seem like a man who likes to relinquish control, that's all."
"On the contrary: under certain circumstances, I like nothing better than that."
"Well," Sephiroth set down his glass and moved closer to the ash-blond, one hand trailing lightly up Rufus' thigh. "You have to promise to put yourself into my hands for this one night."
"I promise," Rufus murmured, closing his eyes and smiling as Sephiroth's lips pressed against his neck softly, and a strong arm slid around him, fingers closing around his wrist.
"You're sure?"
"Yes, Rufus laughed softly.
"I'm glad that you've made this decision," Sephiroth said silkily, smiling against the blond's ear. Moving suddenly and decisively, he wrenched Rufus' arms behind his body and pushed him face down onto the sofa, pinning him effectively with a knee at the small of his back. "It is, however, the last decision you will make for some time."
"Agh… can we at least agree on a safe word?" Rufus asked, his voice muffled by one of the cushions.
"Certainly not. I used to let my other lover have one of those, but I got bored of hearing him shout it at the slightest provocation. I promise I won't do any permanent damage, and I won't leave any marks anywhere… conspicuous, and if you pass out from the pain or the pleasure, I'll stop. Oh, and you're free to struggle as much as you want to."
Rufus attempted this, but Sephiroth's position made breathing difficult, let alone moving.
"Oh, is that the best you can do? Pitiful." Sephiroth smiled patronisingly, and transferring Rufus' hands to one shockingly strong grip, began to roughly strip the body beneath him.
It was approaching two in the morning when Sephiroth began to make his way home, sitting in the back of a taxi since it was clear that Rufus was in no fit state to drive.
He had lain back in bed next to Sephiroth, his eyes wide and his narrow chest still heaving with his pants, sweat beaded on his upper lip and his bangs sticking to his face. Sephiroth sat up with his mass of silvery hair swept over one shoulder, smoking a panatella cigar and looking very calm.
"I may have… I may have underestimated you."
Sephiroth smiled. "A mistake those who know me generally make only once."
"Your other lover…"
"Hmm?"
"His name is Cloud, right? That's what you said on the phone."
"Yes."
"Cloud Strife?"
"You know any other boys named Cloud?"
"Isn't he a little… young?"
Sephiroth nodded. "Much too young: the same age as my Kadaj… I try not to think about it too much. Cloud and I… it was one of those things that just happened. My children don't know anything about it, of course."
This conversation had begun Sephiroth's reminiscence of the weeks that followed his first sexual encounter with Cloud. The gauche youth had spent the next week avoiding Sephiroth, slinking out of the house as soon as the elder man came home from work if he had come over to see Kadaj, avoiding eye contact. Soon, as Sephiroth knew it would, his renewed curiosity overcame his embarrassment: he began to linger in rooms where Sephiroth was, in hopes of getting him alone, and throwing him longing glances. It was some time before the situation allowed them to be alone together, and one night when Yazoo and Loz were in bed, Cloud descended the stairs on his way home after being ensconced in Kadaj's room listening to music and found Sephiroth in the kitchen putting the dishes back in the cupboards from the drying rack. He loitered in the doorway, uncertainty in his wide blue eyes.
"Is there something you want, Cloud Strife?" Sephiroth asked coolly.
"Can we… can we talk about the other night?" Cloud came a little closer, but still looked like he wanted to flee.
"What is there to discuss?"
"I don't understand. You were so…"
Sephiroth's eyes were narrowed, his tone a warning. "What?"
"Passionate." Cloud breathed. "But you haven't looked at me since…"
"I've looked at you, just not as brazenly as you look at me." Sephiroth turned his body away from the sink and towards the blond haired boy. Cloud came forward and kissed him, his hands gripping the front of Sephiroth's shirt and a soft whimper betraying his need. The elder man broke the kiss, grasped the blond by his waist to hold him at a distance. "Cloud, if this is to continue, I need you to understand that it's just sex. I don't want anything else from you."
"Ok," the youth answered.
Sephiroth smiled. "And you will have to learn to be more discrete."
And that, of course, was the beginning of their most ill-advised of liaisons, and leaning back against the headrest of the taxi as it rolled over the rain-slicked asphalt, he began to muse about the differences between Cloud and Rufus, as they came to mind.
Rufus was urbane and cultured, and had a turn of phrase that was often witty and at times quite startlingly sharp and incisive. He had a deftness in conversation whereby he could encourage confidences without ever seeming to pry, but he never seemed to give anything away: certainly, he could be disarmingly frank, but he was cerebral, never emotional. Cloud was a creature of passion and wildly polarised opinions: he loved things and hated things with astounding fervour. Sephiroth had witnessed many a strenuous debate between the blond and Kadaj which had begun as a simple difference of opinion. He wondered if Cloud was so hot-headed simply because of his youth, or if it was perhaps just a characteristic of his personality; but being himself so jaded by life in many respects Sephiroth always found his misguided enthusiasm endearing.
Physically, of course, the principal and the young man were very different: Rufus was much more slightly built, for while Cloud had a narrow waist, he had big shoulders and muscular arms: he was, consequently, much harder to keep pinned down, but then Sephiroth had always liked a challenge.
Cloud submitted much more sweetly too: when Sephiroth had done something Rufus did not like the felt the other man stiffen, saw him bite down on his lip, and he became rigid and uncommunicative; Cloud pleaded and cried, said his lover's name over and over. But what Sephiroth loved most was the look Cloud would get in his eyes when his resistance gave out: a look like he understood and was thrilled by the revelation, as if he was thankful he had been given what he did not even know how to ask for. He was so yielding, so malleable — it was a kind of natural submission, nothing like Rufus' brand, with his bedroom cupboards full of sex toys and padded manacles, and his whips that were designed to leave no marks (though in Sephiroth's talented hands, they could).
It was safe to Rufus: it was a game, a carefully controlled situation. He pretended to hand himself over to Sephiroth for a few hours of abandonment so that he could pick his life back up again in the morning, unchanged. That was not Sephiroth's idea of a good time, and while he could not deny that it had felt good to finally sink himself into that heat and to have Rufus tilt his hips back in an invitation, to fuck him roughly and, especially after the torture and the teasing of their extended foreplay, to bring them both to shuddering completion, Sephiroth had come to the conclusion that he and Rufus were not compatible.
Arriving at his own house, Sephiroth moved up the stairs quietly, resisting the urge to check on the boys: as they were so fond of reminding him, they weren't kids anymore. He wanted a shower and to fall into bed, to sleep heavily and dreamlessly.
Closing the door to his room behind him with a soft click he started, seeing that there was a prone form lying on his bed. His eyes still adjusting to the darkness, he moved over and leaned down to see if he could make out the features; he caught a hint of the distinctive citrus fragrance and knew, before he even touched the soft spikes of hair, that it was Cloud. The sleeping youth stirred at the contact, turning his face and pressing it against the warmth of Sephiroth's palm.
"Sephiroth?"
"What are you doing here, Cloud?" The elder man flicked on the bedside lamp, straightened up and stood still at the foot of the bed.
"No-one knows I'm here, don't worry," Cloud said, sitting up and rubbing his eyes, squinting at the light. "You shouldn't leave your window open: your room is even easier to climb into than Kadaj's." Sephiroth merely glared at him, so he added by way of provocation: "you're back late: I suppose that means you fucked ShinRa."
"Go home Cloud," Sephiroth told him in the tone which his sons knew meant 'don't argue'. "I'm too tired to have this conversation."
"You were tired the other night too: were you out with Rufus then?"
"I'm going to take a shower. When I get back you'd better be gone."
Sephiroth went into his adjoining bathroom and turned the water on to a punishingly hot setting, washing away the sweat and dried blood from his body. Of course, when he returned Cloud had not gone, he was sitting on the bed with a defiant look in his eyes. Sephiroth gave a sigh of annoyance as he towelled off his hair and walked around to sit on the other side of the bed, his back to the determined youth.
"Was he good?" Cloud asked. "Better than me?"
"No, not better than you. Different." Sephiroth began the painstaking task of brushing the tangles from his waist-length hair.
"What does that mean?"
"Listen, I'm not going to tell you what Rufus ShinRa is like in bed: don't be prurient."
Cloud moved to kneel on the bed, his hands sliding over Sephiroth's shoulders and down his chest, underneath the silk of his dressing gown. "Whatever you want Sephiroth, I'll give it to you. Just tell me what I'm doing wrong…"
The other man sighed. "You're perfect as you are Cloud: you haven't done anything wrong. I apologise if I've hurt you… it was never my intention."
He felt the hands lift from his shoulders and there was silence for a moment, before Cloud said: "you don't mean that. I'm just a toy to you and now you're bored of me." He got off the bed and stood before his long-haired lover, pulling off his t-shirt to display the bruises on his chest, some fresh and dark, others lightening to spectacular autumnal reds and yellows; the ring through his nipple glinted. "I gave myself to you. You said for me to put myself in your hands, and I did. Was it some kind of power trip you got off on? Did you laugh to yourself about how stupid I was to trust you and let you use my body like that?"
"Of course I didn't. I never meant to betray your trust… if I've ever taken more than you wanted to give or caused you too much pain, physically or otherwise, then I'm sorry."
Cloud's expression softened. "No, you never did. Somehow you always knew what I really wanted, even when I couldn't ask for it. You understand me… and now you want to break up with me," he said sadly, moving to sit at Sephiroth's side. "I don't know how to stop you."
"You can't stop it: it's inevitable." Sephiroth's voice was expressive of weariness and defeat. "There are twenty years between us Cloud, you must realise that, however much we might enjoy being together, it was never going to last. Rufus and I are almost the same age, we're both professionals with responsibilities, and neither of us suffer from any naïve, romantic delusions: it makes sense that we should see each other."
"You sound like you're trying to convince yourself that it's what you want."
Sephiroth sighed again. "Right now I just want to go to sleep."
Cloud looked up at him with his huge, irresistible eyes, eyes that would be striking on a girl. "Can I stay with you tonight?"
"Well I don't suppose there's any point in telling you no," Sephiroth gave a slight smile. He slipped out of his dressing gown and got into bed as Cloud scrambled out of his clothes and quickly joined him beneath the covers. The younger man lay on his side with his head laid on Sephiroth's shoulder; he felt an arm curl around his back and a hand close over the one he had laid on his lover's chest, and he looked up questioningly into the elder man's face to see that Sephiroth was gazing at him from beneath his white eyelashes. Cloud tilted his face up for a kiss and as the other man's mouth opened beneath his own he felt the brush of a thumb against the backs of his fingers. When the slow kiss ended, their faces remained close: Sephiroth could see the light freckling on the bridge of Cloud's nose and privately wondered how a teenager could have such beautiful, flawless skin.
"I haven't slept with anyone, just slept I mean, since my wife left." he confided, his voice low. "In case you haven't noticed, I don't like intimacy."
"How long ago was that?" Cloud had known Kadaj since they were both eleven years old and had never heard his friend speak of Jenova.
"Nine years," Sephiroth frowned as he attempted to recollect. "About that."
"She really fucked you up, huh?"
"We were reckless when we got married… we had kids too young: it's a wonder it lasted as long as it did. She wasn't ever what you'd call a well-balanced person."
Cloud's eyes were drifting closed and he felt Sephiroth's fingers moving through his blond spikes. "Mmm, stop stroking my hair, you know it sends me to sleep."
Sephiroth smiled and pressed a kiss to his lover's forehead.
When Cloud spoke again his voice was drowsy. "I know that there's a big age difference and that everyone would be shocked to find out about us, and that you think I'm practically a kid, but I still want to be with you, Sephiroth. None of your reasons change how I feel."
"I know that, Cloud." Sephiroth rolled on to his side, facing the younger man as Cloud fell asleep.
Yazoo woke up and turned over, reaching outwith an armin searchof Reno. His eyes snapped open and he caught himself just in time before he rolled all the way onto the floor. Reno's side of the bed was, he realised belatedly, empty. Yazoo sighed in annoyance and pulled on his pyjamas, wandering downstairs to see ifhis boyfriendwas raiding the fridge. The kitchen was occupied by Loz and Tifa, who were attempting to cook breakfast and make out at the same time, with limited success, but apparently a lot of enjoyment.
"Get a room," Yazoo said as he entered.
"Got one," his elder brother replied.
"Then go to it."
"Do you want something, Yazoo?" Loz asked, unfazed by his brother's sullenness, still hugging Tifa.
"Yeah, have you seen Reno this morning?"
"Did he love you and leave you?" Tifa enquired, her hands in Loz's back pockets.
"Well I'm sure he's somewhere," Yazoo muttered, wandering out to check the living room.
"Nice P.J.s by the way!" Tifa called.
Reno was not in the living room so Yazoo ran back upstairs. He couldn't believe Reno would just leave like that: just fuck off home without a word! And after last night, when Yazoo had foolishly said, in the afterglow bliss when he could hardly string a sentence together anyway, that he loved him. Reno had just smiled and kissed him: what the hell was that supposed to mean? Yazoo felt hot tears stinging his eyes as he stamped up the stairs.
"Yo, Yazoo," said a familiar voice.
Yazoo looked over and saw Reno's smirking face around the doorway of his father's study. The red-head took in his boyfriend's bewildered expression and frowned.
"Hey dude, what's up?" Reno went to him and put his arms around the silver-haired boy. "Yazoo, what's wrong?"
"I thought… I don't know."
"C'mere." Reno pulled him into the study and down into his lap on the office chair. "Check it out: I'm the General. Tell daddy what's wrong."
"You're not funny Reno," Yazoo wiped his eye with the back of his hand.
"I'm not? Then why are you smiling?"
Yazoo dipped his head and smacked Reno's chest with the palm of his hand.
Reno kissed his ear. "Come on, what's up?"
"It's stupid… I just, I woke up and you weren't there. I thought you'd gone because of what I said last night. I thought I freaked you out."
"What was that?" Reno grinned.
"You know… that I'm in love with you." Yazoo dipped his head, unable to meet Reno's gaze.
"Incredibly hot boy who's a demon in bed tells me he's in love with me and I run a mile? Unlikely."
"Then… how come you didn't say it back?"
"Well," Reno sat back and ran his fingertips up and down the length of Yazoo's upper-arms. "I thought about it… I wanted to. But then I thought… what do I really know about this mysterious babe? I mean, I know he's popular, I know he likes strawberries and dark chocolate, and that when he grows up he wants to either be a model or a movie star, and that he wears cute pyjamas… but what isn't he telling me?"
"I tell you everything, Reno."
"Really?" Reno had that infuriating twinkle to his eye as he pushed Yazoo from his lap and stood from the chair. "Then may I introduce you to exhibit A?" He pulled open the bottom drawer of the desk and pulled out a sheaf of report cards. "'Yazoo is a very bright and gifted young man and should be recommended for a scholarship,'" he read, executing a swift pirouette to evade his lover's attempts to take back the evidence.
"Reno, put those back!" Yazoo tried ineffectually to snatch the cards, realising with annoyance that Reno was slightly taller than himself.
"'The work he has done as head of the after-school chemistry club and' — wait for it — 'chess club' has been invaluable'!" the red-head laughed gleefully.
"I'm going to kick your ass, Reno!"
Reno handed the cards back with a sardonic look in his eye. "Now, moving on to exhibit B…" he turned his attention to the shelf where some small trophies sat, and just above it hung a cork notice board whereon were pinned the prize-winning rosettes and certificates of the three sons: mostly Loz's for athletics, and some of Kadaj's for horse riding (from back in the days when he still cared about things).
"Oh, first place science prize, for the last three years… Prize in math, higher math, further math… what's this? Model United Nations!"
"Shut up, Reno! That's enough!"
"One more thing," Reno grinned and reached up to lift a silver photograph frame down from the top shelf of the book cabinet. The picture was a family portrait taken five years ago. Kadaj (who was a very young-looking twelve) was sitting on the photography studio couch next to Sephiroth looking uncharacteristically angelic, his hair in a page-boy bob. Loz, hugely tall for a fourteen year old, was standing with his hand on his father's shoulder, and sitting cross-legged on the floor was thirteen year old Yazoo, smiling broadly with a mouth full of braces and wearing a baggy cable-knit sweater.
"Agh! Dad promised he'd take that horrible picture down!" Yazoo blushed fiercely, once again unable to grab the item Reno was holding triumphantly aloft.
"Now," said Reno, "I think you'll have to agree in the face of such overwhelming evidence, that you've been misrepresenting yourself. It is the opinion of this court that you are not the airhead plastic popular that you pretend to be. You are in fact… a geek!"
"No I'm not!"
"Ah-ah-ahh!" Reno waved an admonitory finger and showed the picture again.
"Well fuck it, so what if I am! What are you going to do about it?"
"Well," Reno replaced the picture. "I should really hand all this stuff in to the yearbook committee, but maybe you can make it worth my while not to." He stepped forward and leaned in to kiss Yazoo, but the silver-haired boy turned his face away petulantly.
"Aww dude… don't be like that, Yazoo." He wrapped his arms around the other boy's waist. "I was just playing with ya. Come on, give me a kiss."
"I got teased lots at middle school, you know: I was really unhappy. So, I told myself that when I went to high school it would be different and I'd make friends with the cool people."
"Well you've kinda blown that one by hooking up with yours truly." Reno rocked him back and forth.
"I know."
"You're not going to cry again, are you? Hey, listen… you know, you don't have to pretend with me. I love you just the way you are."
"Oh Reno!" Yazoo cried happily, burying his face in the front of his boyfriend's t-shirt.
"Finally awake, are you? I've been wanting to get up for hours and you're lying on my hair."
"There's so damn much of it it's hard not to." Cloud rolled onto his back and stretched, blinking at the sunlight. "How come you didn't just wake me?"
Sephiroth leaned on his elbow and brushed his hair over his shoulder. "You looked so content. I never sleep as soundly as you do: I was both envious and fascinated."
"So did we have our first fight last night?" Cloud asked with a nervous smile.
"Mmm. You fell asleep in the middle of it."
"Are we… are we ok now?"
"I suppose so."
"You won't see Rufus again?"
"No." Sephiroth's eyes swept over Cloud's face.
"It made me so jealous I felt sick," the younger man admitted.
"You don't need to be jealous. You're much better looking than him, and much better in bed." Sephiroth brushed his thumb across Cloud's bottom lip.
"Is that true or are you just saying it?"
"It's true." The older man leaned down and kissed him; Cloud responded enthusiastically and soon he was shivering in anticipation and spreading his thighs as Sephiroth took his wrists and pinned them down on the pillow just above Cloud's head.
"Mmm… ah!" he gasped as teeth grazed his collarbone. "Sephiroth!"
"Shh," his lover admonished. "how many times to I have to tell you to keep quiet? Do you need me to gag you… again?"
"Sephiroth," Cloud whispered urgently.
"What?" He raised his silver head and gave his characteristic feline smile.
"Can we go on a date?"
"A 'date'?" he repeated mockingly.
"Yeah. You and me alone somewhere that isn't this bedroom."
Sephiroth sat back on his heels and released Cloud's wrists. "Where did you have in mind? The movies? Ten pin bowling?"
"Don't be like that, I just want to spend some time with you. I thought maybe we could go for a walk, like on the beach maybe."
"Cloud… not now. Just," Sephiroth kissed down his chest and taking the nipple ring in his teeth and tugged it lightly, "just be content with this."
"Ok," Cloud whispered, turning his head and closing his eyes.
Kadaj bounced down the stairs two at a time and almost ran into Loz.
"Is he here yet?" he asked, peering past his brother out the kitchen window.
"Who? Cloud?"
"No! Vincent!"
"No, I don't think so." Loz looked with curiosity at his youngest brother, who was now checking his make-up using the microwave door as a mirror.
"Tifa, is my eyeliner on straight?"
"Come here a sec." Tifa took Kadaj's chin in her hand and delicately smudged the kohl with her little finger. "There — you're perfect."
"So… are you going out with him today?" Loz asked, trying unsuccessfully to seem like he was not intrigued.
"I'm not telling you anything Loz, you'll just pass it on to bitch face."
Loz spread his hands. "Come on, I'm the good brother, remember?"
Kadaj smiled shyly and twined a lock of hair round his finger. "He's taking me out to the lake."
"I thought you said that only losers hang out at the lake."
"No I didn't!" Kadaj snapped. "Besides… it's kind of our place. He took me there the night of the dance."
They were interrupted by the sound of two pairs of feet stampeding down the stairs.
"Hey," called Yazoo, who was holding his boyfriend's hand as he walked past the kitchen doorway. "I'm going over to Reno's house. Can someone tell dad?"
"I think he's gone out," Loz said.
"What do you mean 'out'?" Yazoo demanded. "Where? With who?"
Loz shrugged helplessly. "I don't know."
"Oh Loz, you're useless!" the long-haired brother raged. "Did he take the car?"
"I think so."
"Agh!" Yazoo flipped his hair in irritation. "Now we'll have to take the bus like steerage!"
"Poor baby," Reno said with false sorrow, "slumming it with your badass boyfriend from the wrong side of the tracks."
There was the engine roar noise of an approaching motorbike from outside and Kadaj gave a yelp and ran past Reno and Yazoo to the door.
"Where's gothboy going?"
"Hot date," Tifa replied.
Yazoo let go of Reno's hand to go and peer out the window at Kadaj, who had run straight into Vincent's arms and was now kissing him enthusiastically.
"I don't get what Vincent sees in him!" Yazoo exclaimed. "Look at him! He even kisses like an idiot."
"Aww, he looks a bit inexperienced, but Vince doesn't seem to mind," Reno commented, coming up behind his boyfriend. "Reminds me of someone else not so very long ago…" He turned Yazoo around in his arms and grinned.
"Just watch yourself Reno: I've got to be nice to your mother tonight so don't push me…" Yazoo was pretending to be annoyed, but he was smiling back as he moved towards the door.
"Looks like we've got the house to ourselves," Tifa commented, raising a suggestive eyebrow at her lover as she stood on her tiptoes and twined her arms about his neck.
"Hmm," Loz grinned and picked her up.
"Hello?"
"What are you wearing?"
Cloud laughed. "Combats, sleeveless sweater — nothing exciting. Why?"
"Because I'm waiting outside and I was hoping you wouldn't be forever getting ready."
Cloud sprinted down the stairs calling out a goodbye to his parents and slamming the door behind himself. Sephiroth was across the road, leaning on the hood of his car, wearing jeans and a loose white shirt with the sleeves rolled up to expose his muscular forearms, his hair rippling sideways in the breeze. Smiling at Cloud he slipped on a pair of sunglasses.
"You look like a plain clothes cop," Cloud told him.
"Insolent boy," Sephiroth replied with a smile, opening the passenger door for him.
"So where are we going?" the younger man asked. Sephiroth laid his arm across the back of Cloud's seat as he twisted around in his seat in order to reverse out of the parking space.
"You'll see… now put your seatbelt on."
Cloud leaned back and tried to relax, but he was full of nervous energy: he wound down the window to feel the air ruffling his hair in the heat of the evening. Sephiroth's right hand rested on his knee — a warm, reassuring weight, and every time he lifted it to change gear he replaced it straight afterwards, his eyes trained on the road and a look of concentration on his face. Cloud leaned forward and fiddled with the radio dial to find a rock station.
"You object to this?" he asked when he settled on one.
"As long as it's not nu-metal, I don't object."
Cloud laughed incredulously. "Who told you about nu-metal?"
"What? You think I sit at home drinking camomile tea and listening to Classical music? I'm only thirty-seven you know, not sixty."
When Sephiroth pulled the car up at their apparent destination, Cloud scrambled out and his face lit up in a grin when he saw the seagulls wheeling over his head and heard the roaring of the ocean.
"Are we on a date?" he asked Sephiroth.
"I guess so. Hm," the elder man smirked. "My kids think I'm out with Rufus." He locked the car with the press of a button and held out his hand. "Come on then."
It was beginning to get cold, especially with the wind-chill coming off the sea and there was no-one else on the beach, except the inky figures in the distance of someone walking a dog.
"You surprise me," Cloud said as they walked along the water's edge. The other man had his arm around the blond's shoulders, and Cloud has his around Sephiroth's waist.
"Why is that?"
"I don't know… this morning you were so stern and it seemed like you thought this was the stupidest idea ever."
"Well… if you ask my sons they'll tell you that I pretend to be strict, but I always give in in the end."
"So is this all for me… just because I asked?"
"And because I have nothing better to do on a Saturday night, obviously."
Cloud laughed and Sephiroth leaned down and kissed his temple.
"You know," the older man murmured, "this is the first time in the last few months I've seen you with any clothes on: I'd almost forgotten how scruffy you are."
Cloud tugged his lover down onto the sand and they sat watching the waves rushing to the shore. "Sephiroth, I have to tell you… lately I've had these weird, taboo fantasies." Their gazes met and the blonde smiled uncertainly.
"Mmm?" a silver eyebrow arched.
"Yeah, I keep thinking about holding your hand, and sitting next to you on the sofa, and going out in public with you. It's outrageous."
Sephiroth sighed and looked out towards where the sea met the horizon. "Do you think… do you think Kadaj could ever forgive me for stealing his first love? His best friend?"
"I don't know. Do you think he'll forgive me for sleeping with his dad?"
"No way," Sephiroth shook his head, smiling at the ridiculousness of the situation. He tried to imagine telling his sons about his clandestine relationship with Cloud: Loz would look surprised but was too kind to say anything discouraging; Yazoo would probably yell at him and tell him to check himself into a mental hospital; and Kadaj would probably run upstairs in floods of angry tears and lie face down on his bed for a month. "Life would be so much easier," Sephiroth lamented, "if we desired the people we were supposed to. You should be with Kadaj and I should be with Rufus… that arrangement would be much wiser."
The younger man laughed. "I'm seventeen and even I know that's not how it works."
"Why'd you have to be so damn tempting, Cloud?" Sephiroth teased.
"It's not my fault! You pushed me up against some kitchen cupboards and said you wanted to dominate me."
"But you looked so deliciously surprised… I couldn't resist!" he smiled and tilted his head against Cloud's as they sat on the darkening beach. After a moment of silence he added, in an ominous voice: "we're both in big trouble."
- Fin (this is really the end)
