"Nooner or Later"

By Bored-writer

BACKGROUND: This fan fiction is based on something that I saw on "Married with Children". Sasuke didn't want to get married to Sakura, but he had a choice between her and Ino. Ino is crazier than Sakura, so he chose Sakura. In the story, Sakura, Sasuke, Naruto, and Hinata are all 21 years old, and Konohamaru and his friends are about 16 years old. Some of the characters are a little OOC (Out of character).

Summary: Sasuke is married to Sakura and Naruto is married to Hinata. Naruto and Hinata love each other but how much does Sasuke love Sakura? A radio contest will put him to the test.

Rated T for some sexual content, mild language, and fat people jokes. Although there is a sex scene, there are no lemons! If you want to read hentai, try some other fanfic.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto. This is my first fanfic, please R&R (read & review).

The story begins at a local shoe store in Konoha. Sasuke, sadly, works at a shoe store. What suck even more, the only customers that come into his shop are fat ladies from the palates building next door. Sasuke is trying to help a mother find a shoe for her spoiled daughter. "No. No. No!" the daughter said. She then hit Sasuke with a shoe. "What part of no-heels do you not understand!" Sasuke just stand there with a serious expression. "Hey little girl, look at your mom. That is going to be your future." The mother (who was fat) was furious at Sasuke. "Come on, mommy. Can we go somewhere where they treat us with respect." She said.

"Try the moon. You weigh less there." Said Sasuke. Just then, Naruto came into the shop. "Naruto, want do you want?" asked Sasuke.

"I came here for a job. I could really use the money." Said Naruto.

"The position has been filled."

"I know. The position is filled by me."

"Oh, crap." Said Sasuke. "Then, why are you late?" asked Sasuke.

"Because I had to work my way through the big huge crowd for some rock band wanna-bes." Said Naruto. Sasuke looked outside. There were a number of people in line to buy tickets for the Sand Village's hottest punk rock band, Music Hidden in the Sand. Of course, since they're from the Sand Village, Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro had to buy tickets. "Anybody who buys tickets for these losers are complete idiots." Said Naruto.

"Hey, boss." Said a familiar voice. Naruto looked to find Konohamaru and his friends in black outfits and wearing blank eyeliner. "Konohamaru? What are you doing in line?" asked Naruto.

"Buying tickets." Said Konohamaru.

"How long have you been in line?" asked Naruto. "It's been about four days for us." Said Udoh.

"It's going to be worth it boss." Said Konohamaru. Naruto decided to ignore them and get back to work. Naruto tried to fit a show on the customer. "OW! Stop it. You're hurting my baby toe." She said. Naruto then got extremely pissed off.

"Listen lady! There isn't a damn thing on you that's baby." Said Naruto. Of course, she was offended. She then slapped the Hell out of Naruto.

Meanwhile, back at Sasuke's House, Sakura and Hinata are listening to the radio. "Alright, all you housewives out there, a chance to win $1 million is coming right up," Said the DJ. "All you have to do is get your husband to sing "Simple and Clean". Sakura thought about this for a minute. "1 million dollars . . . I can get Sasuke to sing for me." She said.

"And if he doesn't, then Naruto can sing for me." Hinata said. Sakura got the phone and called the radio station. She was lucky to be caller number 15. The rules of the contest was that Sakura only has 5 minutes for Sasuke to sing the song and Sasuke cannot find out that he is singing for a contest. So, Sakura then called the shoe store.

Sasuke and Naruto were trying to help this fat woman find a shoe. Naruto tried to help her out, but when she tried to lean over she accidentally fell over Naruto and crushed his lungs. The phone ringed. "Hello?" said Sasuke.

"Hi Sasuke." Said Sakura.

"Sakura, don't I get enough of you at home?" asked Sasuke. "Sasuke, do you know that one song I like? "Simple and Clean?" asked Sakura.

"What does that have to do with me?" asked Sasuke.

"Can you sing it for me?"

"Uhhhh . . . Hell no."

"Come on, Sasuke. Pleaaaassssseeee?" Hinata then snatched the phone from her hand. "If you won't sing it," she said. "Can you get Naruto to sing for me?" she asked.

"Hold on." Sasuke saw the paramedics trying to revive Naruto. "Clear." Said the paramedic. No pulse. "Come on, kid. Don't die on us."

"Come on, Sasuke. Sing for me." Said Sakura.

"I hate that terrible fox demon." The fat lady said.

"I bet you wouldn't say that if he came with a large order of fries." Said Sasuke. She then punched Sasuke, knocking him out. When he fell, he accidentally hung up on Sakura. Sakura thought he did this on purpose. She felt devastated. "Why would Sasuke hang up on me?" she asked Hinata. "Did you ever think that maybe he doesn't love you?" Hinata said.

(Inner Sakura) Of course, he loves me! Why else would he marry me! CHA!

"Alright Sakura, we're going to give you another chance." Said the DJ. "This time, if you can get Sasuke to come home for a Nooner in one hour, then you win a free vacation to sunny California!"

"I can definitely get him to do that." Said Sakura.

Meanwhile, in the village, Konohamaru and Udoh were waiting for Moni to bring back lunch. "I hope she hurries up, I'm starving." Udoh said. "I wish we would hurry up and get the tickets before they sold out." Konohamaru then had an idea. "Hey, Udoh. See those guys in front of us." He then pointed to the Sand ninjas (Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro). He thought he would fight them. The losers have to go back 200 people back in line. Although he got better at his ninja skills, he still lost to Gaara.

Back at the store, Sasuke was putting an ice patch on his black eye and Naruto (now breathing properly) tending to his wounds. "No wonder why you hate your job." Naruto said. "That's the life of a show salesman." Said Sasuke. Then the phone rang again.

"Hello." Sasuke answered.

"Hey, Sasuke. Guess who this is?" asked Sakura.

"My brain on drugs?" he answered. "Sasuke, can you come back home for a Nooner?" asked Sakura. Sasuke literally jumped up. "A Nooner, I'll be right there." He said and he hung up. "Sorry, Naruto. I have to go."

"Sasuke, do you even know what a Nooner is?" Naruto asked.

"That's when Sakura makes lunch for me." He answered. Naruto was a little disappointed. "You just agreed to . . . um . . . do her." He said nervously.

"What are you talking about?" asked Sasuke.

"You know, do her . . . in bed." Naruto explained. Sasuke still didn't know what he was talking about. "Grrr. It means she wants to &#$ you!" he shouted. Sasuke was shocked. "Hey Naruto, how do you know this?" he asked. Naruto's face blushed a little. "Uh, it gets around the village."

"I wonder what you and Hinata do after dark?" Sasuke asked slyly.

"You don't need to know! But are you going home?" asked Naruto. Sasuke thought about this. "No." said Sasuke.

At the house, Sakura and Hinata were waiting anxiously. Sasuke only had 30 minutes left. "I'm not sure he's coming." Said Hinata. "I'm trust Sasuke to come to me." Said Sakura.

(Inner Sakura) He better show up, or I'll break his neck! CHA!

At the show store, Kakashi Hatake (who's around his late 50s-early 60s) came in, reading "Make Out Paradise".

"You're the best ninja in the whole village and this is where you work." He said.

"Oh, hey Kakashi-sensei!" said Naruto. Kakashi was a little surprised that Sasuke was still at his store. "Sasuke, you're still here!" he asked. "You should be at home with Sakura."

"Why does that matter? And how do you know that?" asked Sasuke.

"I heard on the radio." Said Kakashi. "If you go home and, well . . . make her lose her innocence in 20 minutes, then you win a trip."

"Where?" asked Naruto.

"I don't know, some place called "Cal-i-for-ni-a"." Sasuke rethought this whole situation. He decided that a trip to somewhere new was worth making love to Sakura.

When he got home, he even broke the door down. "Sasuke, what are doing you here?" asked Hinata.

"No time to explain. Sakura, do we still have time?" he asked.

"No, you—" Sakura covered Hinata's mouth. "Yeah, we still have time." Sakura said.

"Good. Sakura, get upstairs and put on that little blue thing that I like." Sakura wasted no time getting upstairs. "Hinata, get out of my house!" He then dragged Hinata by her shirt. "You know, I'm Naruto's wife." She said.

"I know, that's why I'm throwing you out the door and not the window." He then shoved her out. Sasuke then got upstairs and pinned Sakura to the bed.

-30 Minutes Later-(Hey, I said no lemons. But there is fluff between SasukexSakura)

30 minutes later, Sakura and Sasuke still can't believe what they just did. Unfortunately, the contest was alright over before they began. "Wow, Sasuke. I didn't know you had moves." She said. "It's too bad you didn't win anything."

"Sakura, I had a prize from the start." He said.

"Sasuke . . . do you think I'm pretty?" she asked.

"I think you're beautiful!" he blurted out.

"Then, you like me?" she asked.

"No. I love you." That made Sakura happy. "You know, there is a constellation prize." She mentioned.

Outside, Konohamaru and his friends were disappointed that the tickets were sold out, right when they were at the front of the line. "You just had to fight Gaara of the Desert." Moni said. Then, Sasuke and Sakura came out, except that their clothes were all black and they were both wearing black eyeliner. "What are you guys dressed like that?" asked Konohamaru.

"Because, were going to the Music Hidden in the Sand concert."

"How? Tickets are sold out." Udoh said.

"I won them in a contest. Uhh, I mean, we won them in a contest." He said. Then, Sakura and Sasuke kissed in front of them.

"Why don't you two get a room?" asked Moni.

"You know, we do have two more tickets. But since there's three of you . . ." He said. Konohamaru and his friends then started fighting.

"I guess you forgot to them that you were going to give them to Hinata and Naruto." Said Sakura.

"Sakura, if we get back early, do you want to make that 30 minutes of heaven into 2 hours."

"You don't even have to ask.

"Sakura, I love you." Sasuke said.

"I love you, too, Sasuke." She said back.

THE END

I know what you're thinking, this is a little too much sexual content for a teen-rated fanfic. Please give me some feedback!