A/N: Set slightly later, Kel-centric this time, with Kel visiting the remains of Haven one last time. A bit sad, but not unduly angsty. And I hope you will pardon the altered pun at the end, but it fits with the tone, and it sounds right. See if you can spot the reference from 'To Kill A Mockingbird'.

Disclaimer: I shouldn't insult your intelligence, but ah well. Not mine, OK? Lyrics by Kelly Clarkson, not moi.

Even though it was war, and no denying it, I was happy. If not happy- better than I thought I'd feel. I concentrated solely on your needs and wishes. I ignored the everyday trials and tribulations of quarrels, crimes and battles. I even managed to ignore Neal's abysmal poetry.

Well- everyday from my point of view.

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I am left to suppose it helped, because I was a northerner- and so were you. I could step into your skin and walk around in it- and understand. You got cross with me; I soothed your difficulties, sheltering carefully behind a flimsy wall of indifference. Eventually, you grew to respect me.

Which made me very uncomfortable.

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Now I have lost you, by what I shall still term my own folly, despite being peppered with constant contradictions. I ran off. To find you, or any remnants of you. I searched for survivors. I begged my superiors for just one chance, just one chance, to find whatever was left of you.

Rest in peace, Haven; even here where your spirit rests only in the pieces of my hopes and your dreams.