|Silly Kagome, Everyone Knows Youkai Can't Talk
Author: YamiPaladinofChaos PM
Crack!Fic. Two supposedly stupid youkai philosophize about the meaning of both youkai life in general and their own lives. And then they die. Pointlessly.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Parody - Words: 277 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 06-14-06 - Status: Complete - id: 2990516
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer- Inuyasha's not mine.
The youkai's conversation below is inspired by the hilarious Red vs Blue.
"What?" it hissed.
"Do you ever wonder why we're here?"
The snake youkai blinked; or would have, anyway, if snakes could blink. Still, snake youkai can talk.
"Actually, I do. I mean, why do youkai exist? We can't have evolved naturally. All we do is eat everything in sight. We don't contribute to the environment at all. Are we the creations of God, or just random magic accidents? Is this existence nothing more than an illusion?"
The snake youkai rolled its head, the equivalent to a human shrugging their shoulders. "I don't know, but it keeps me up at night."
The bat youkai blinked. It can, after all. In a "what the Hell" sort of tone, it responded, "I meant why are we here? Serving Naraku? All he does is use us as cannon fodder. Why the Hell are we siding with him?"
"Oh." The snake youkai looked rather perplexed.
"What was all that stuff about God?"
The bat youkai didn't look convinced. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"No. Plus, Inuyasha's coming and we're about to die."
As Inuyasha easily dispatched both a snake and bat youkai in one swing, Kagome looked rather perplexed.
"Inuyasha, do you think those youkai can talk? Because I could have sworn I heard them talking..." Kagome trailed off.
"Yer crazy," Inuyasha scoffed, "Regular youkai like them ain't smart enough. They can't talk. Everyone knows that."