Author: Ruj PM
Caged birds, one on Pegasus, the other on New Caprica, both by their destinies. Set in S3, now an AU.Rated: Fiction M - English - Angst/Drama - K. Thrace/Starbuck & L. Adama/Apollo - Chapters: 6 - Words: 14,306 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 01-17-07 - Published: 06-17-06 - id: 2995890
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A special thanks to Maevenly and Jamy21 who beta'd this chapter, you will all notice a marked improvement in grammar thanks to them. Author notes and replies to reviews follow the chapter as usual.
Chapter Six: Only when I sleep…
"Come on Captain! Keep that back straight and show those frakking toasters who they're dealing with! A couple of lashes won't break Starbuck!"
The cylon model number 6 paused in her stride when the blonde viper pilot began giggling in the middle of their torture session. It wasn't the first time it had happened yet it was still disconcerting every time she did it.
This was not supposed to happen, they had gone way past the known threshold on the human pain levels, yet she still didn't break. It didn't matter what they did, she just took it.
They had already harvested what they needed from her, now it was about retribution; it was about fun. They had used all five forms of torture: hot, cold, sharp, blunt and loud. They had tried sensory deprivation, but they found that using drugs was the most effective form. Hallucinogens were the ones that gave the best reactions; the irony was not lost on the cylons that the only thing capable of breaking Kara Thrace was her own mind.
But who knew whipping could be so much fun, Six thought to her self as she continued her assault.
"Come on Captain! Keep that back straight and show those frakking toasters who they're dealing with! A couple of lashes won't break Starbuck!"
Kara couldn't stop the giggle from her mouth, typical Apollo, back straight! Her back was in shreds for fraks sake! She was glad he was there imaginary or not she almost forgot what she fighting for who she was fighting for.
The Kara Thrace that had been buried deep in the Starbuck persona she kept for the cylons began to worry, she began to doubt whether or not Apollo would find her, or even worse if he was even looking. She always taunted Lee over the fact that he was so slow sometimes, never noticed when a woman was coming on to him, or having to view every angle before making a decision, it was always his weakness she never dreamed that she would pay for it.
She laughed internally at her thought; even after everything that had happened, after she worked so hard to rip Lee out of her life by marrying Sam and leaving the fleet. Only to realise that in the end she had actually buried him so deep within her heart, soul and spirit that when the cylons began breaking, stripping away her walls one by one that the only thing left was Lee and her connection to Apollo.
The gods, she realised, had a twisted sense of humour. Who would have thought that if you stripped away all of Starbucks barriers, you'd find her greatest and truest strength…if only he wasn't so damn slow!
Her hysterical laughter echoed off the walls until a vicious smack to the face and shot of hallucinogenic knocked her out.
Kara groaned as the nurses changed the IV and wiped the sweat from her fever away. She tried to fight the drugs in her system, but in the end she lost. With her body too busy healing from the surgery she had nothing left to combat the drugs.
With a tiny moan Kara Thrace fell back into the nightmares that unfortunately happened to plague her for the last 4 months. She did what she always did when the nightmares came; she retreated into a world of her making.
Kara awoke to the most beautiful sight she had ever seen. Her half naked husband was lying next to her in bed with their newborn son lying on his chest.
The sapphire blue eyes that trapped her gaze were identical to the baby blues that her son had obviously inherited. Her breath froze, the love and adoration that was in his gaze stilled her heart. She never thought that anybody could love her so completely, she never thought she would meet anybody who she would give all of herself to, but then she met Lee.
A man that the gods created for her, the only man she had let in completely and utterly and the only man she would give anything up for, evening flying. Although the being pregnant part made up for being grounded.
She still smiled every time she remembered telling the old man that he was going to be a grandfather.
"Starbuck! What do you hear?"
"The pitter patter of tiny Adama feet in 7 months, sir!"
The look was priceless, almost identical to Lee's when she had told him the unexpected news.
Lee froze in the middle of the class he was speaking to as a guest lecturer. He and Kara had just returned from their honeymoon, when they had been asked, actually instructed to talk to the graduating class about their legendary flights.
Kara hadn't felt well that morning and after throwing up her breakfast Lee insisted that she go to the Infirmary on campus and get checked out, while he did the lecture.
He had seen Kara pissed before, he had seen Starbuck pissed before; he had also seen the misfortune of seeing his wife pissed at him before. But he had never seen all three pissed at the same time before.
She was yelling and cursing his name as she strode towards him through the centre aisle of the main auditorium of the fleet academy which incidentally was packed in anticipation of hearing the great Apollo and Starbuck speak about their flights. Based on the unadulterated fury on her face she was definitely pissed at him.
Oh lords of Kobol, hear my prayer…
Lee prayed as he frantically thought about what he could have done to piss her off to unprecedented heights.
"Apollo, you toaster frakking, son of a…how could you! I should have known! If anyone would beat the frakking odds it would be you! This is your fault! I'm grounded because of you! Me! Starbuck grounded! As in NOT FLYING! How could you knock me up! You bastard!" Starbuck finished her thunderous tirade with an explosive right hook that laid out her confused husband.
Lee was trying hard to suppress his arousal at his wife's fury, she was glowing in anger, it was an amazing sight. Slowly his mind began to catch up with what she was shouting at him as she reached the lectern, he had just registered 'grounded' when her infamous right hook sent him crashing to the ground.
Kara didn't register the gasp of audience, she was focussed on her husband, she saw his hurt and confusion at her punch and then she saw understanding cross his beautiful face as her words finally penetrated his mind.
'Knocked up?' Oh gods she was pregnant, they were having a baby!
His smile was a bright as the sun, as he rushed up and grabbed his wife and spun her around in delight, as their shared joy and happiness was heard by all.
Kara could still hear their laughter; it was one of her fondest memories.
As the laughter faded, Kara lost the scene, lost Lee. And then she knew what was coming, what was always coming, pain always followed the small pleasure she had in her life, it was the truest constant in her life since birth.
This time she remembered them breaking her legs, then her ribs; by the time she relived the nails being hammered into and through her hands, her throat was raw from screaming.
She wanted Lee, she needed Lee, Apollo would make it stop, he had to…
Her back arched from the bed as she screamed for Lee, unable to tell dream from memory from reality. Her yells echoed through life station.
Lee shot awake a second before the call came out.
"Commander Adama to life station, repeat paging Commander Adama to life station."
He was running to Life station, his body automatically taking him the path he had been taking for the last 2 months.
Starbuck's recovery hadn't been easy, they had to reset bones, and she had been restrained so she couldn't further damage her abused body. Out of everything her body had actually been healing the best.
It had been 8 weeks since Helo had rescued her from New Caprica. According to Cottle, in a week or so she could physically resume light duties, and barring any further complications physically she could fly in 6-8 weeks.
It was a massive relief as they were all concerned whether of she would even survive let alone fly again. If only the mind would heal as easily as the body; as it was she was still experiencing regular nightmares that even sedatives could not keep at bay, so Cottle's last resort was to hope moving forward and getting in to a routine may help.
Apollo had moved back on to Galactica, as his father refused to move Kara. As Kara was most familiar with the Galactica and all of her friends and family were on the boat, it seemed prudent to keep her on the bucket. But it was the fact that Cottle was on Galactica that cinched it. He didn't trust her care to another physician.
So Lee took a leave of absence, left the Pegasus to his XO, and moved back to Galactica. He still helped out in command, with the pilots and even the flight deck. But most of his time was with Kara.
In the eight weeks Kara had been in the infirmary, he had been emergency paged at least twice a week, as he was the only one who could effectively calm her down.
He normally slept on a cot in the life station to be closer if needed, in fact he was only sleeping further away because Kara was due to be released the next day, so he had been getting their quarters ready.
When he finally reached Kara's side he saw the familiar scene of semi-conscious Kara fighting and screaming against phantom captors.
Once he had finally got Kara relaxed he thought back to the tension filled meeting that had occurred that morning when had finally won his case to be Kara's primary carer.
Earlier that day, Admiral Adama's office:
"Absolutely not! She's fine now, you've all seen her, she's acting like she was before the cylons…" Samuel Anders voice was determined and filled with undisguised anger.
"Acting being the operative word, you can't even tell when she's faking it…can you?" Lee retorted; he had seen the act Starbuck put on for everyone else, even the Doc and his father had believed her. Only Helo, Sharon and he knew the truth.
"I am her husband; I'll take care of her," he said, referring to Kara.
"Like you did on New Caprica?" Lee didn't hide his scorn.
"Lee!" Reprimanded both Adama and Roslin
Lee looked unrepentant.
"Why are we even having this discussion, Kara will stay with me…her husband." Sam aimed his words at Lee.
Sam had spent the last eight weeks watching Lee Adama 'take care' of Kara, and as a result could only spend limited time with Kara. What hurt most was that he couldn't argue with Apollo's next statement. As much as it galled him to admit it, he was right.
"I am the only one that can calm her down, she trusts me!" Lee appealed to his father.
"Doc, what's your opinion?" Admiral asked Kara's primary physician.
"The Commander ain't wrong, he is the best at bringing Thrace out of her nightmares, and she responds to him the most."
Adama looked at the others in the room, Roslin nodded in agreement as did Helo.
"Alright then, it's been decided Kara will stay with Lee-"
"You can't do that she's married to me, which is a fact you all seem to have forgotten!" Anders anger was palpable.
"We are well aware of that Sam; this is a temporary measure just until Starbuck is steadier. After that if Kara decides she wants to move in with you, nobody will stop the two of you." Adama tried to placate the obviously hurt man, who wasn't at fault, but found himself in an unfortunate position.
"If?" Anders questioned.
"My apologies I meant when." Adama was sincere, but gave Lee a glare when he opened his mouth. He knew his son was about to say something hurtful.
Lee shut his mouth. He got what he wanted so there was no need to complicate matters.
Kara awoke the next day in Lee's arms, an occurrence that was becoming all too frequent. Physically she had improved enough to be released from the life station; all that remained were the scars, both physical and emotional.
"Morning," Lee said with a yawn, stretching his muscles to get rid of the kinks.
Startled Kara just stared at him; sometimes she still couldn't believe he was real. The sight of him waking up next to her was so eerily familiar from her dream world that she felt a physical pang when she realised that there wouldn't be a baby in this picture…ever.
"So Starbuck, ready to go home?" Lee asked her, nudging her out of her melancholy.
She could help the tear that slipped out; maybe just maybe some parts of her fantasy could be made real.
With a small but genuine smile she said,
"Take me home Lee."
You know how this works, replies and thanks to:
Dgainey2003: I don't know what to say? You know I love you right! (lol) I hope this chapter pleases. Good news I found chapter 6 of Who Are We? So that should be up when I have reread the story to familiarise myself with it again and once I've polished the draft. So not too long to wait, if you have any helpful comments regarding Who Are We, please, please PM me as I value your insight.
gibgirl4: Thank you for your heartfelt words, I was determined to get this chapter out, I hope it doesn't disappoint. I know Ander's is slightly off at the end but bear in mind he has had to watch his wife be comforted by someone else. It stings and resentment builds especially between Lee and Anders.
hp/hg: Thanks for commenting, have you just found this piece? Here's a fast update, this chapter and the next deal with the repercussions of Kara's torture after that we will start on rehabilitation.
AlexandriaLee: Here's relatively fast update especially compared to the delay between ch 4 and 5. Hope you enjoy.
BSGaddict: Another chapter to feel sorry for Anders, he really is in an unfortunate situation, however he did marry Kara and we know she is always complicated. So it won't be easy for him. Hope this chapter reflects that.
LJ: I hope this chapter also pleasantly surprised you, let me know what you thought.
Maevenly: THANKS-THANKS-THANKS-THANKS-(Argh you get the message) chapter 7 will be more about rehabilitation so the scenes you describe will be forthcoming.
Jamy21: THANKS-THANKS-THANKS-THANKS-(Again thank you for valuable input) your desire for retribution will be met...but first both Lee and Kara have to deal with their time apart.
kathgrr: I made you cry! I'm so sorry, if you like fluff try my short piece CAG's Girl- apparently it's quite funny! Also my other BSG WIP 'Who Are We' which is a mixture of fluff, pranks, drama, action, smut, angst and also has an AU preseries backstory between Lee and Kara-check em out (plus I'm updating Who Are We soon). But if you like to cry then keep reading Lee and Kara aren't done hurting!
Silwyna: Thank you for your heartfelt comments and unwavering support, I'm lucky writing is an outlet for me and so many readers have been patiently waiting for all my stories that I always love to write for them, also rush of reviews always brightens my day. Hope this chapter doesn't disappoint. Thanks again.
Senorita-DLH: Again thanks for the supportive comments, and for having me in your thoughts, I had you in mine as I wrote (as I did all my reviewers). Hope this update pleases you. Thank you for your kindness.
CrazyLikeaFox: Thank you for your review, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Let me know.
Thanks again to everybody still with the piece, if there are any fans of my other BSG WIP 'Who Are We?' I found the 6th chapter so i'll be updating soon. Keep an eye out!
Sincerly thank you to everyone who sent condolences messages regading my grandmother, it meant the world.