Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own anything apart from the idea for the story. Everything else belongs to Joss Whedon, WB etc.
Also the song is 'Too Weak To Resist' by Steps.

Spoilers: Um for Buffy Season 3 ' The Prom' and ' Graduation Day and season 5 'The Gift'. Plus early Angel season 3 I suppose.

A/N: This is based after Buffy's death in Season 5, not long before Angel leaves LA for the summer. Ok I know this is an old song by a sort of cheesy band but I found a old Steps CD of mine and I read through these lyrics and then played the song and thought that it sounded like a Buffy/Angel song. The lyrics will be in italics. Also this is my first fan fiction ever so be gentle lol. I have another 3 in production so to speak. Also thanxs to TrueSky for being a great friend and for agreeing to be my beta and asking me to be hers.

The dark thundering storm outside in the cold LA streets mirrored the feelings of a lonely souled vampire.

I enter my dark, dusty room and slowly make my way to the bed, throwing my wet coat on the floor as I pass. The room smells of alcohol and are covered by pictures, hand sketched of an Angel. I turn on the radio and make my way over to the liquor cabinet. I go to reach for the bottle of scotch when my body froze

"We stood before our friends and pledged eternal love To have and to hold We both meant every word and spoke of one above Love could not grow cold"

The words hit me like a stake in the heart. My heart thought of my beloved and for a moment I smile, remembering her comment on how this song was made for them, but as soon as it was there it went again. I always belived we had eternal love like my life, unfortuently not like hers. Our love will never be cold but she is, has been for a week now or is it two? The days have run into each other since that night.

"Then I found myself so many nights With time my only friend And I only saw in your eyes Too late to make amends...darling"

I pour the scotch into the glass and drowned it, letting it burn my oesophagus and past my shrivelled heart.

"Time can be a healer or time can divide I never meant for anyone to take you from my side But I'm just a man (just a man)
And it came down to this I was just to weak to resist"

I shake my head, time can be a healer, yeah right! If anything time makes it worse as you realise how long you've been alone and it cuts you up inside. If only I stayed with her, I could have prevented it! But instead I took the easy way out, left when it got to hard, made a lame excuse and left. People say after you leave someone or they leave you that it's hard to go on living, definitely if you live nearby but her not being on this earth anymore is worse, knowing you'll never bump into her again, hear her laugh, see her smile or see her wrinkle up her nose in disgust.

"If only I had known I'd cause you so much pain I would not have strayed And tho' I promised you I'd never fall again baby I must lie in this bed I made"

Willow told me how distant she was that summer. If I had known I'd be able to give her something, protect her from everything without endangering what we had I would have stayed. God, I promised you I wouldn't do this. Wouldn't cut myself off, try and be the man, as you said, that I deserve to be. Guess I let you down again.

"And tho' I'm hurting you I swear it was the last thing on my mind And I found myself on my own One too many times...darlin"

Everyone's been great, I put a smile on my face and act as if I'm ok which makes me feel like I'm betraying you but they see through it anyway, not that it matters anymore. Gunn thinks I should go to Vegas to work through my grief but somehow I don't think seeing a bunch of blonde strippers dancing is going to help much. Wes had a better idea, a spiritual retreat in Sir Lanka, I'm leaving tomorrow evening. Cordy of course wants a gift.

"Time can be a healer or time can divide I never meant for anyone to take you from my side And it comes down to this..."

Who knows what will happen, what will I be going or returning to. All I know right now is that...

A knock comes from the door and Gunn sticks his head in, "Heads up man, Cordy had a vision. Couple of vamps downtown deciding on gate crashing a party". I set down the bottle and glass, whip on my coat, turn and make my way out of the room " Lets go to work".

"I was just too weak to resist!"