Edward Scissorhands Soufflé

Serves up to 12 people. Not recommended for those with allergies or for big babies.

Recipe:

1 messed up Johnny Depp- If he doesn't match this description, blow dry his hair around until it matches the description.

1 Winona Ryder in a blonde wig

A large quantity of gossipy middle-aged women- Put as many as you like. Though, try not to go over 6. They do tend to be annoying.

2 cups of stereotypical clichés from the 1950s and 1980s

1 ¾ cups of artistic genius

4 oz. of creepy music

A pinch of deranged humor

3 tablespoons of romantic tragedy- Do NOT confuse with the suicidal romantic tragedy. Otherwise you'll end up with a bad Romeo and Juliet remake.

1 rich jerk

¾ cups of violence

5 tablespoons of distrust and confusion

A box of lethal weapons. Safety cautioned when handling these.

End mixing with a sad ending and a theater of bawling people.

Put the soufflé in freezing cold temperature for 20 minutes, just to add texture and flavor. After it has been frozen into a rather large ice cube, beat it with a hammer thouroughly, until it cracks.

When it has cracked, leave it alone in a dark room for three years. When you come back, show your family the masterpiece that is the Edward Scissorhands Soufflé! The final product should look like this:

(A picture of a very ragged loking Edward goes here)

Oh dear… I think we did something wrong… Erm… The alternative recipe is to run down to Blockbuster and rent it for five bucks! Sorry about that.