Alpha and Omega
Chapter 7: The Rec. Room

What to do when there is nothing to do?

This was the question I pondered on the day after Jumba Jookiba's test of my mental capabilities. Two days didn't seem too long at first, especially as that first week had seemed to zoom by; but then again, I had something to occupy myself with, namely the exploration of my new home. True, I had not finished said exploration, but that day I just… didn't feel like it.

So, in an attempt to become not bored, I made my way to the cafeteria.

I had not entered this place of socialisation since my first arriving here; in particular there lingered, although very slight, a smell all too reminiscent of that which accompanied the upheaval of various foodstuffs, and this smell irritated me. I also felt more than a little intimidated by some of the bigger and spikier experiments, although 302 had assured me that they were 'cool dudes, once you got to know them'.

As I approached the large purple doors, I heard a slow rumbling noise. I stopped for a moment, contemplating what it could be.

Bad idea.

In an instant, I was knocked to the ground by the incredible mass pushing its way towards me. I rolled, squirmed and tumbled to avoid the various methods of forward propulsion from flattening me, all until a familiar paw grabbed me by the arm.

"Y'know, that's the perfect way to have your neck snapped in two," 302 mockingly scolded, pulling me to my feet. "Now, come on, we're going to the rec room!"

Deciding between becoming a extremely flattened disc and going with the rest of the crowd was not hard, and soon we were marching along metallic hallways towards the aforementioned destination. Some of the experiments had broken out in song, and soon all were singing, even those of… questionable singing abilities. "The Grand Old Captain Of The Guard" was a favourite, and those older experiments took the lead in singing it, while others merely hummed.

The grand old Captain of the Guard
He sent his men to town
And ev'ryone there stopped and stared
As they paraded down…

"Hup, two!" called those at the front.

"Hup, four!" replied the rest.

"Erut, Eru, Erasai!" shouted those who spoke Tantalog.

"Seka, Sena, Setsunei!" replied the Galactic Basic speakers.

"Hina, "Hira, Hikari!" echoed everyone else, and all launched into the second verse.

---

Time, I had noticed, tends to pass quickly when you're singing, and so it was not long until we had arrived at the recreational facility. Before us stood the largest doors I had ever seen, glistening by the light of low-frequency fluorescent lamps. ("They've been like that since two weeks ago," whispered 302, gesturing at the light-rods.) One of the experiments, a grey-coloured one, stood forward, cleared his throat, and spoke in a loud, boisterous voice:

"Computer?"

Suddenly, from out of nowhere, a female voice replied to the experiment's prompt.

"Computer ready for input."

I started, and 302 laughed.

"Yeah, that happens sometimes. The computer can listen to your commands, as well as typing and writing."

"No, it's not that," I responded, annoyed by 302's conclusion, "I've seen Jumba Jookiba do that too. But it just… talked back!"

"Oh!" 302 slapped his head, and muttered something to himself. "Well, yeah. It has this thing that allows it to speak, kinda like the thing that allows it to print and display stuff on screen."

"Facinating," I replied. But I could not talk more on the subject, as the experiment at the front had started to speak again.

"Open doors, authorisation: X-247-Alpha 3."

And so the doors opened.

As they opened, the crowd surged forward, and 302 had grabbed my hand to pull me forward.

"Who was that guy talking to the computer?"

"Him? He's the administrator – the guy in charge - of Jumba's computer network," 302 told me. "Jumba's usually too busy to maintain his technological stuff, so 247 does it for him. Now, this is the recreational facility!"

The group were standing on a large tiled platform overlooking a humongous area. Upon the floor of this area was painted various lines and squiggles of many different colours and styles. The surface of the floor itself had the appearance of organic plant matter, but was dimly reflective, as if it were plastic. I looked upon it, awestruck – it was the largest room I had ever seen.

Glancing to the side, I noticed hundreds of transparent tubes. I nudged 302, who, upon spying them, launched into an explanation.

"Each experiment has their own changing room," he recited. "These tubes transport them there. All you gotta do is ask the computer."

At that moment, a group of experiments, quite nigh to them, rang out in unison, "Changing room!" And, one by one, the ashen-white plates the group were standing upon shifted below the one next to it.

And they disappeared.

"G-g-… it… the floor just ate them!" I shrieked, completely loosing my head.

"Calm down… the tubes are under the tiles, see, there's one of them now!"

And sure enough, a member of the group was shooting upwards towards the ceiling (albeit upside-down), laughing and waving.

"Oh," I muttered humbly, crimson with embarrassment.

"Aw, don't worry, we all do that. For the first two weeks I was convinced that it was some type of giant worm, and no one and no thing could get me to set foot in here."

Confronted with this information, I brightened considerately, and feeling much better with myself, I confidently stepped forward and requested the computer take me to the changing room, "if you don't mind."

The last thing I saw was 302 waving vigorously as I rapidly fell through the floor.