Author’s note

This is a Harry/Severus ficlet, and was written after reading a fic in which a main character died. I found myself wondering what he would say to his lover if he were to come back from the dead.

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Harry knelt on the recently cut grass, looking at the large slab that had been placed there nearly two months ago, at the memorial service for his husband of six years.

Severus Snape. We will remember you.

“I can’t believe how much I’ve missed you,” he said aloud. “I didn’t think I’d manage to get past the first day without you, let alone the rest of my life. I need you so much.”

“You are aware that I am, in fact, alive?”

He turned at the dry voice, and his face lit up at the sight of his husband. “I know,” he said, as he pulled the other man to the ground next to him. “I just… I got so used to coming here after… some days, I thought I’d never leave, I just stayed out here and talked to you.”

“As I could not answer, that seems like a useless occupation.”

He smiled sadly, and said, “Severus… when they told me I’d lost you… well, I didn’t know what it felt like to have your heart break before then, but I do now. All I could think was, I never had the chance to say goodbye.”

Severus Potter watched his husband for a moment before asking, “What would you have said?”

“What?”

“If you had had the chance. What would you have said?”

“I… I don’t know. That I loved you.”

“You say that on a daily basis anyhow. It would hardly have been news to me.”

“That I didn’t want you to go. That I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“Our wedding day was sufficient to convince me of that.”

Harry sighed. “I suppose… I suppose it’s not so much what I wanted to say. It’s more that I wanted to hear you speak. To hear you tell me you loved me, one last time. For you to hold me in your arms again.”

Severus reached over, and pulled his husband toward him, wrapping him in his arms. “I am so sorry that you had to go through it all, Harry.”

“I know, and I know you couldn’t help it. Severus… I was falling apart. If you’d really been dead, if you hadn’t come back when you did…”

“You would have mourned, and eventually moved on. As you should have done.”

“How can you say that?”

“I have no wish for you to be miserable, Harry.” His fingers found their way to the dark hair, stroking down it comfortingly.

Harry turned to face his husband directly. “I need you, Severus. Please… don’t go anywhere for a while. I need you here.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Harry.”

“Thank you.”

“Now, I suggest you come inside with me, and in the morning we will remove this ugly feature from our garden.”

Harry smiled, and they rose together. As they headed towards the house, Harry stayed close to Severus, needing the physical contact to reassure him that his lover was still there.

“I love you, Harry,” his lover murmured as they reached the front door.

“I love you so much, Severus.”