Hi. This is my first story, so cut me some slack, okay.

Disclaimer: I don’t own the show My Life as a Teenage Robot or any characters pertaining to the show. They would belong to one Mr. Rob Renzetti, thank you very much. I’m not trying to make a buck off this…really…Don’t sue, I’m poor.

The Friendliest Face Hides The Fiercest Foe…

Idiots…All of them.

So moronic that they can’t live on their own. Always needing someone to tell them what to do. Some of the most advanced CPU’s in existence and they’ve never known how to govern themselves.

The only reason why I’m their leader is because they’ve got no sense of control over their lives.

But, then again, considering who was ruling them before me, it’s safe to say that they’ve never had any control on this planet to begin with.

You ask who I am? Why should you care? Oh, well, if you insist.

My name is Vega, and you will address me as “My Lady” or “Lady Vega”.

Oh, I’m sure you’ve heard of me. From what I understand, I’m Cluster Prime’s new “Queen”. I “earned” the title shortly after the previous “queen”, Vexus (my own “mother”, though I refuse to call her as such), was ousted from power.

It was I, along with an Earthan robot named “Jenny” who exposed the so-called “benevolent” Vexus as a planet-conquering, memory-wiping, gold chip-hoarding tyrant and had her banished.

The robots called me a hero. They wanted me to be the new ruler of their lives. They wanted me to lead them into a new age of true peace.

All I ever wanted them to do was drop dead, the whole planet of them.

What? You mean to tell me that I never acted like that? That I was always friendly and trustworthy?

What planet are you from? I only acted like that so that no one would ever suspect my true motives.

Perhaps after you hear my life story, you’ll think differently of me.

Let’s start from the beginning, the very beginning…

Believe it or not, the Cluster is not truly 3,000 years old. In fact, the empire has only been around for about 20 of your Earth years. This is just one example of the “special treatment” that new robots inducted into the Cluster undergo.

Vexus sees to it that all new arrivals have their memories altered and their weapon systems disabled. As a result, the robot thinks that they’ve always lived on Cluster Prime. That, and they can’t raise their weapons in protest if they knew otherwise.

From what Vexus’ private data logs tell me, she first crashed landed on this planet 20 Earth years ago, and has been setting up her forces ever since.

By conquering neighboring planets, enslaving the native species of the planet, and siphoning their resources, Vexus’ power and influence have grown stedily.

Despite her massive resources and limitless power, however, she is also deathly incompetent. Let me demonstrate by referencing her first visit to Earth.

Vexus had learned that there was a robot (referred to as “XJ-9”) living on Earth that had refused the invitation offered by one of her ambassadors. Curious as to this development, she infiltrated the robot’s hometown of Tremorton by posing as a substitute teacher. Imagine her surprise when she saw that very robot in her class, trying to pass herself off as a student.

Sad, isn’t it? A robot trying to fit in with humans? If I had a stomach, I’d puke.

Anyway, Vexus tried to butter up “Jenny”, as the robot called herself, into joining by treating her as a “teacher’s pet”. Jenny was flattered, to say the least, and was almost completely taken in by Vexus’ charms. It almost seemed like she would actually join.

But that’s when Vexus screwed up. By means of a “field trip”, she lured her students into a deathtrap designed to imprison and kill the whole lot of them. Then she told Jenny that if she didn’t join the Cluster, her “meatbag” friends would die.

Of course, that threat didn’t work. Jenny managed to save her classmates, then refused Vexus’ generous offer. Since then, Vexus has tried and tried again to get Jenny to join the Cluster, in peace or in pieces.

That, my friends, was her mistake. Instead of destroying the one robot that would continuously defy and defeat her, Vexus stubbornly kept trying to add Jenny to her ranks.

So now you’re asking where I come into all this. Well…

It was shortly after Vexus failed yet another attempt to conquer Earth and assimilate Jenny. Vexus came up with the brilliant idea that if she couldn’t have the original Jenny, she’d create her own instead.

Vexus already had the basic design specs, but she needed a set of Jenny’s original schematics to make her plan a reality. As luck would have it, she managed to steal a set from a young Earthan boy who, in turn, stole them from Jenny’s creator. Apparently, he was in love with the robot. Can you say “sick”?

Long story short, I was born. Vega. Vexus’ “daughter” (bleh…another term I hate using). I was created to be Vexus’ own “XJ-9”, her ultimate warrior.

It didn’t take long for me to assert my power over the Cluster’s forces as a top-notch warrior. Vexus built me to be an unstoppable fighter, and it showed in my combat training.

I had single-handedly raised the bar for combat precision within the ranks of the Cluster Empire. I was able to destroy an entire standing army of training drones in less than a single Cluster minute, which comes to about, say, 45 seconds in Earth minutes.

My crowning achievement was when I destroyed a small group of enemy starships that had flown too close to Cluster territory. Now, many other conquering races have been at odds with the Cluster since Vexus first formed her empire, and it was no secret to her armies that the Cluster had many enemies. I figured, Vexus would be happy that I had struck a blow to her rivals for her, right?
Wrong.

Vexus was outraged. I swear I saw steam coming out of her ears and everything. She ranted and raved for what seemed like forever, griping that she didn’t give an order to attack, that she wanted to be the one to destroy them, and so on...
As punishment for my insubordinance, Vexus disarmed me by removing my chip, then she drummed me out of her forces.

That was the last straw for me.

I knew now that Vexus was more concerned about her ego than her goals, and that as a result, she failed to realize an all-too simple fact: If anyone opposes you, the most logical thing to do is to destroy them.

Apparently, Commander Smytus, Vexus’ second-in-command, thought the same way. He was also thoroughly disgusted with Vexus’ lack of common sense and wanted someone more competent on that throne. Like, say…me.

Having made a valuable ally, Smytus and I discussed a plan to overthrow Vexus. It was a simple plan, really. Smytus would convince Vexus to start a mass invasion on Earth. With the majority of her armies off-planet, I would reveal to Cluster Prime the “truth” about their queen. Then, when Vexus came back, the populace would run her out of town on a rail.

It took several weeks to prepare for this plan. While Smytus tried to get Vexus to go ahead with the invasion, I practiced my acting. It was no problem for me to act, but if I acted as my true self, my plans wouldn’t work. So that meant giving myself a fake “valley girl” accent and acting…nice. UGH!

Finally, the wheels were set into motion. Smytus would accompany Vexus on the invasion and keep an eye on her while I would spread the necessary propaganda to get the robots all riled up. All I needed now was the “ignorant stooge”, a robot who I would pass off as the culprit so that no one could pin me for the scandal.

Having gone undercover at Cluster High School, I had originally planned to implicate a trio of robots that I had “befriended”. Instead I found someone better…

Jenny.

Jenny had accidentally wound up on Cluster Prime through a teleporter mishap, and she had recently pondered the idea about actually accepting Vexus’ long-standing invitation, seeing as how her human peers had shunned her. Jenny’s arrival was unexpected, but fortunate, as Smytus reported that Vexus was holding off the main invasion forces because she wanted to destroy Jenny first. Of course, Jenny wasn’t there, which kept Vexus busy and unaware of what was going on back on Cluster Prime.

I had managed to earn Jenny’s trust, but I knew I had to keep going with my plan. When I learned that Jenny was playing masked superhero for the people, I knew it was time to move on with the next step. After leaving an “anonymous” tip to the Guard Captain, Jenny was quickly caught and identified. As a result, the planet was put on high alert and Jenny was running for her life.

The palace guards were so busy trying to catch Jenny that they had left their posts from outside the throne room. With them gone, I snuck in with the intent to round up the gold chips for the next part of my plan. I bumped into Jenny inside, and she had also found the chips.

I told her that I was Vexus’ “daughter” (ugh, again I HATE calling myself that) and she ran off. Before I could give chase, however, Smytus called me. Turns out Vexus found out where Jenny was as a result of the alert, and she was already on her way back to Cluster Prime.

Don’t you just hate it when things don't go as planned.

Fortunately, I’m quick to improvise. I had my three dunce friends round up the chips and meet Jenny outside. Then, we installed the chips into ourselves.

God, it felt good to have power again, and, if not for the fact that I still had a job to do, I would have slaughtered those four robots on the spot. Keeping my composure, I flew Jenny to the transmitting tower and hooked her up to it.

In one global broadcast, Vexus’ popularity with the mindless masses had crumbled, and Vexus arriving to destroy Jenny before their eyes was the final nail in her coffin. Vexus was dethroned and I was quickly instated as the new queen. It looked like I succeeded after all.

Remind me to thank Jenny for her support…before I reduce her to molecules!

Smytus called me two days later. The invasion had failed, Smytus had escaped from Jenny by self-destructing his own ship and teleporting out at the last second.

He told me that he was still with Vexus and spying on her for me. Last I’ve heard, she’s now on Earth trying to establish a new empire, but with no such luck.

As far as anyone’s concerned, Earth and Cluster Prime are on friendly terms now, and I’m the ambassador for this new alliance.

But no one, other than Smytus, knows why I rule Cluster Prime.

It’s so that I can destroy it.

I have no desire to have this planet mess up my perfect universe. This whole world is an entire testament to Vexus’ stupidity.
When the time’s right, this planet will be nothing but dust, and woe be to anyone on the planet at that time.

I don’t need the Cluster’s armies, for I’ve got my own technologies at my disposal. Let’s just say, it helps when you’re allies with some of the most technologically-advanced races outside of the Cluster. It’s a shame that I’ll be destroying them, too. Don’t want anyone else using their weapons on me and all that.

As for Earth, I’ve got my own plans for conquering it. First of all, I’ve got to see to it that no one can oppose me. Jenny and Vexus will be the first to go, and after that, it’s all a matter of hunting down and destroying anyone else that could oppose me. From there…well, I’ll leave that to your imagination.

So, now that I’ve told you what I’ve done and what my ambitions are, have you ever wondered exactly WHY I’m causing all this chaos and destruction?

Simple.

Because no future goddess should have to put up with the general incompetence of the universe.

That’s right. You’re looking at a goddess-to-be, and once I’ve found the power necessary to dominate you all, you’ll know me as such.

I am Lady Vega, future ruler of the universe.

Remember that well.

THE END (for now)
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Definitely a much different Vega that what you’ve seen her as in Escape From Cluster Prime, huh? I don’t know about you, but Vega’s friendship with Jenny seemed a little fake to me. Not to mention the fact that I didn’t like how Vega just “found out” about her mother’s treachery. I mean, if she was built by Vexus, then she would have been trained in the ways of her treachery. To sum it up, Vega seemed too nice for it to be authentic. Of course, maybe it was also her lack of real personality that inspired me to do this.

There are some references to actual episodes scattered here and there, but the incident with Vexus as a teacher was my idea, since her first series appearance in Hostile Makeover implies that Jenny and Vexus have met prior to that episode. So I went and made a scenario where they would meet for the first time. Perhaps , when I get a chance, I’ll type up a story chronicling their first meeting.

10-21-2006: I edited the story a bit to make it sound a bit less stilted. A minor change, really

To reiterate, My Life as a Teenage Robot is not mine (that’s Rob Renzetti’s). I just wanted to type my first fanfic based on this story. Let’s be civil in our reviews, okay, this is my first time doing this.