|The Very Worst Fanfic In The World
Author: Fell Shirtler PM
Yeah, this is a really bad attempt at a so called Fanfiction. It's my first extremely boring attempt at writing something that isn't in script format. Chapter 4 is up. Claw out your eyes.Rated: Fiction T - English - Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,184 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12-02-06 - Published: 07-12-06 - id: 3040944
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Chicken Little or any of the characters apart from a few space-fillers such as Nat Cat and this stupid story. REQUEST Please tell me where I can sign up for the Bad Writers competition.
REQUEST Please tell me where I can sign up for the Bad Writers competition.
One lunchtime in the hallways of Oakey Oaks Secondary School, Foxy Loxy waltzed over to her gigantic group of fairweather friends.
"Hey! You know that loser over there is having a sleepover? Let's crash it!"
Goosey refused to even give eye contact to her friend. Claire Bear just stood there speechless.
"Aw, come on! It'll be soooo fun! We could scare everyone, put tacks on his bed..."
"Lookie here! 'He is so cute. I want to pick him up and squeeze him and - Well, do other stuff. I hope they don't call him Chicken 'Little' for a reason...'"
Nat Cat giggled. "Wait, and there's more! - Just wait until I can translate this, so many spelling errors!"
Foxy listened curiously to what Nat was saying, then realised that she was reading from a book.
"You got the ugly duckling's diary? You rule!"
"Well, actually... Yes, it is a diary, but it's not hers..."
"Who else'd like that Chicken Loser anyway?"
"Good question. Here's the answer, Foxy!" Nat Cat snorted, showing Foxy the cover of the diary.
Written in kindergartener-esque handwriting on it was Foxy Loxy's Diary. Private. DO NOT READ.
Claire dry-retched, "Eww! Foxy! How could you?"
Goosey honked in agreement before the entire group abandoned Foxy, whispering unkind remarks to each other.
The embarrassed fox blushed so hard it seemed as if her face going to explode right there in the hallway and make a very unpleasant job for the janitor.
"Uhhh... Guys! Wait up! Someone must've written in my diary!"
She projected her voice significantly more than usual, though this didn't make the group turn around.
In fact, the result was quite the opposite.
Lenny Leopard did come back to her however, yet only to harshly tell her to shut up before leaving her once more.
She was just about to deck him when the buzzer rang for class.
The gym teacher blew his whistle. "Alright, children! Be quiet! Now today we are playing Football! Again, Popular VS Unpopular!"
Runt slapped his forehead as the students separated into their teams. "Not again..."
The still blushing Foxy found the confidence to strut her way back to the popular side only to be confronted by the others.
Nat hissed, her electric green eyes narrowed into slits. The rest of the gang glared at their ex-member.
"Nat! YOU get on the other team!" Foxy snapped.
"I'm prettier, smarter and better than you. You should be called Foxy Moron... You are a fox, an oxymoron and a moron. You see, your name describes you as sexy and cunning, but really you're ugly, dumb and you can't come up with a good insult. So therefore you should join the unpopulars who are also ugly, dumb and cannot come up with a good insult."
Nat smirked as Foxy just stared at her blankly for a full ten seconds before finally saying something. "Uhh... I call Chicken Little a loser, but I should save that for you."
Nat Cat gave a slight giggle. "Foxy Moron, I've won every debating competition I've entered and even Furthertown Boys High is afraid of my skills. If I were to talk to the teacher about this, you would surely be put on detention for incompetence."
Foxy strained her exceedingly tiny-in-comparison-to-her-body brain thinking this through until she was pushed over to the unpopulars by Nat.
Chicken Little gave her a strange look, before whispering to his friends, "Hey, what is Foxy doing on our team?"
"Standing there... I guess..." Runt responded, sounding a bit uneasy.
The ugly duckling gave a shrug. "I don't know, but did you see how they looked as if they no longer accepted her? Social Swan said somewhere that popularity is all a big contest and whoever becomes queen bee often only remains so for a short period of time..."
Foxy quickly gave Little the one-finger salute, he then returned the favour.
Runt Of The Litter's eyes were fixated on the vulpine's backside. "Wow... I never knew she had such a nice..."
"Runt!" Abby scolded.
"What? Just because her personality and hair colour are back to normal doesn't mean..."
"Stop staring at my butt - you pig!" Foxy screeched at Runt, who backed away slowly.
"Glub." Fish Out Of Water had spaced out for a few minutes and had no idea what was going on. When he finally noticed Foxy on the team, he did a terrible impression of a heart-attack.
The rest of the group gave small chuckles as Fish got back up, but Foxy Loxy didn't seem all that pleased.
The PE teacher blew the whistle. "The game starts NOW!"
The first player to kick the ball was Diesel Weasel.
The strength in which he kicked caused the ball to smack right into the wall and bounce right back at his feet, he then passed to Goosey.
Goosey Loosey was an expert at this - She kicked the ball right through Runt's legs and into the unpopular's goal.
This was when Foxy grew aggressive.
Although she made a vow not to be kind to any of her four team-mates, she hated to see herself lose - no matter which side she was on.
She began trailing the ball through the crowds of her ex-friends toward their goal when she was violently tackled by Wonkey Donkey and Sunny Bunny simultaneously. Being the skilled athlete she was, she managed to regain her balance and -she hated to do this to her best friend, but she really didn't care anymore- knock out Goosey before she could manage to kick another goal.
Mr Bear blew his whistle once more.
He walked over to Goosey's unconscious body, shook her slightly, and then gave Foxy a look of anger when she didn't respond.
"Foxy Loxy... Principal's office! THIS INSTANT!"
The office was small and painted with bright yellow wallpaper. A poster of a cheerful yellow smiley hung behind the principal's desk.
Foxy took a seat, then looked up expecting to see Principal Fetchit's big brown eyes looking down at her, but instead saw the frowning, wrinkled face of a goofy-looking giant bird who later turned out to bethe not-so-kind replacement.
She opened her mouth to say something, but the principal spoke before she had the chance. "Well, well, well... If it isn't the town's shining star FOXY LOXY... Old Fetchit was very fond of you, I heard. It seems you have been misbehaving now, what did you do?"
She decided this was the correct time to crank up the charm. "I knocked out Goosey, sir. But it was an accident! We were playing soccer and our heads collided! Oh, I feel terrible about this... I'm soooo sorry!"
"Don't apologize to me! Apologize to the poor girl you injured when she awakens! Do you know how many times Mr Fetchit has let you off for attacking another student completely due to your species?"
Foxy began to realize the old charm-trick which worked so well on the former principal wasn't going to soften this old crank up.
"Just as not to waste any time on another occasion, I've seen your academic records and it is unacceptable for a girl your age to be performing at such a low academic level. You don't want a third year of eighth grade, don't you? If this continues, you're going to be married with two children before you finish highschool! No wonder you were exiled from Tulip Beach... What school would want to keep a girl like you for over three years?"
She had began to sweat slightly, her heart beating at a higher rate than a fly's batting wings.
Although Foxy may have been a real meanie around her younger classmates, she didn't stand a chance against authority figures. They had power, she didn't.
Yet, the cold-hearted school administrator continued his speech on her stupidity. "Do you know you were ushered into sports training rather than allowing you to join the debate team, young lady?"
He received no answer from his nervous student, who now had her right thumb in her mouth.
Mr Ostrich then gave a sigh.
"It seems you're too stupid to even process that! And get your thumb out of your mouth. That is extremely childish behaviour. You should indeed be in kindergarten the way you carry on like that!"
Her tough exterior had already cracked.
Her mind was like a mental volcano erupting in a violent explosion of emotions.
"Look! This (shot)house school wouldn't look so damned good if I didn't win all those Baseball tournaments for it! I'm the 'HERO OF OAKEY (fork)ING OAKS' aren't I?" She growled, bearing her sharp, braced teeth in a threatening way towards the old man, her claws digging into the dark redwood of the desk.
The new principal just gave a small laugh. "You do have a strange view of the world, young lady. You just happened to be flavor of the year; that is reality, sorry to say. Remember, nothing lasts forever, and it'll be a matter of time until you fade into obscurity once more..."