|The Very Worst Fanfic In The World
Author: Fell Shirtler PM
Yeah, this is a really bad attempt at a so called Fanfiction. It's my first extremely boring attempt at writing something that isn't in script format. Chapter 4 is up. Claw out your eyes.Rated: Fiction T - English - Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,184 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12-02-06 - Published: 07-12-06 - id: 3040944
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
I took REAL long to update, huh? XX
Oh, and Reverend Lovejoy, I also apologize if Emma's a bit out-of-character and doesn't have a big enough part... Thanks for giving me the idea to involve Turkey Lurkey, though!
BTW, I watched the movie again and yes, it is Earth. ;;; Sorry! Well, I've considered perhaps shifting it slightly so that it's a fantasy-land.
You know the place Neverland in Peter Pan? Mount Olympus/Hades in Mythology? Fairytopia in Barbie? Runescape? New Fairytopia's just... the "new" Fairytopia. One of a few enchanted lands where any animal that sets foot on it becomes anthropomorphic. If a human goes there, they will turn into an anthropomorphic animal best suited to their name.
Although I haven't been given any negative reviews so far but I've just enabled anonymous - if anyone flames me, I'll be writing more anyway so prepare to be ticked.
- Only counts if actual attacks are made. Constructive criticism without being too harsh is fine.
following Thursday morning at the city hall, Mayor Lurkey and his
representatives were discussing plans on preventing that kind of
gruesome incident from happening again when Rico Gecko with his hat
between his teeth dropped from the ceiling and onto the table, his
broad toepads made a sickening splat as he landedIt
had turned out he had entered through a window on the top floor and
bypassed security that way.
Rico removed the hat from his mouth and placed it onto his head, then taking a deep breath.
"Mayor! Mayor! Minnie Guinea and I have found some evidence that may point to the identity of Miss Nat Cat's killer!" The gecko jumped off the table and stood by Turkey's side; his petite, slightly built figure looking like a toothpick next to an orange.
The old mayor raised an eyebrow, as his bodyguards had held up a cue card to do so.
What is it, Mister Gecko?"
"A white feather trapped in the wax, which suggests the culprit is an avian."
Rico cleaned his eyes with his long slender tongue, then stood nervously awaiting Turkey Lurkey's next cue card, which - unluckily for him - read 'Scold Him for Taking Too Long'
"If it was in the wax, why did it take you and that incompetent rodent so long to find it?!" The Mayor hit the table with his fist for effect.
"Minnie is far from incompetent! It was just that we..." It was obvious that Rico was out of words.
Turkey shook his head and glowered at the gecko.
"I've HAD IT with the two of you playing hanky-panky while you're supposed to be doing your jobs!"
"I assure you, sir, that there is nothing going on between Minnie and I - The feather took so long to find because the equipment we used to melt the wax malfunctioned multiple times." Normally, Rico was a hardworking individual accustomed to being harshly honest but right now he was forced to lie to save himself and his workmate.
"In that case, I apologize." Turkey seemed quite embarrassed, although the cue card displayed told him to 'Look Furious'.
Rico was surprised to discover that the Mayor actually had some autonomy of thought, though he tried his hardest not to show it.
He gave a nervous laugh and a nod. "It's all good, sir. The others at the station tend to spread rumors about us so we're used to it."
"Daddy!" A small female turkey of around 7 years of age entered the room and ran over to the Mayor, followed by an older male gnu who sat down in a vacant seat.
"Hello Emmy! This is a perfect time to introduce you to Officer Rico Gecko." Turkey put a wing on the shoulder of his young daughter, who waved shyly at the gecko. "Hello Emma!" Rico gave a smile and returned the wave, then whispered to the mayor.
"May I leave, sir?"
He held his breath as Turkey's bodyguard held up a cue card which read 'Dismiss'.
"Of course, Mister Gecko. You are dismissed."
"Thank you, Mister Mayor. Bye-Bye Emma!"
With a tilt of his hat, Rico left the building.
As the lizard left, Turkey couldn't help but think about how strange it was that birds were killing cats rather than the other way around.
later at Oakey Oaks High, Chicken Little had been thrown into his own
locker along with the almost as tiny Greta Gecko by Wonkey Donkey.Given
the miniature size of the two victims, they both fit inside
"You know, Greta... I thought you were popular!" CL exclaimed.
"I'm not popular. People only think that because I'm friends with Foxy and Goosey and Funky, but them and Tay are hardly ever around me. I need friends. Can I be friends with you?" It proved how incredibly desperate the lonely lizard was, asking someone for friendship.
He always saw her as quite childish and a bit too strange to be popular, though he didn't know she was in fact childish enough to ask for friendship. He now knew why the prominent bullies Foxy Loxy and Goosey Loosey liked her so much - She was very easily manipulated with easily hurt feelings yet with very unusual habits to keep them entertained.
"Are we going to be friends?" Greta raised her lower-class Worcestershire accented voice slightly to ensure that CL was listening.
"I guess, since we were forced to be dance partners in PhysEd last month - Might as well not be enemies." Poor Chicken Little knew he couldn't say no to Greta's request what with being in a small space with her and her unpredictable behavior.
"Really? Ohmigosh!" Greta squealed throwing her arms around Chicken Little, squeezing him almost to the point of suffocation when the door suddenly swung open, causing them both to fall onto the hard linoleum floor below along with a few schoolbooks.
The embarrassed lizard stood and helped her new friend up before he attempted to explain the situation of the two of them being in his locker to his glaring friends.
"Abby, Runt, Fish, Taylor... I swear, it's not what it looks like!" Little was uneasy in his words - he knew that Abby wouldn't believe him.
Taylor gave a laugh. "Oh, I understand. It happens to me too!" Her smile fell. "Oh, you know I saw Greta's dad this morning and he told me that he told Mayor Lurkey to tell all the birds that have any white feathers to go to the police station. I sure hope they find the killer! - But I know it's not you or Abby!"
"Ohhh um, doesn't the fact it's a white feather mean Little goes and Abby doesn't?" Greta asked, feeing as if she's just corrected Taylor.
"Are you blind? Take a gecko at her pigtails, Gecko!" Runt laughed, although no-one else seemed to get his joke. "Oh come on... Get it? 'Take a gecko, Gecko?' The way geckoes look at things and that she IS a gecko?"
"I don't think most people get your jokes, Runt. Cygnet Scene has a whole section on how to be funny, and one of the rules is to pick a topic that your friends understand. Also, don't try too hard - it makes you look desperate." Abby explained, then shook her head. "Yeah I do have white feathers. Come on, Little! Let's sign out and go to the station!"
CL nodded. "Sure thing, Abby! We could miss class."
Fish gargled frantically, 'running' after his friends and clinging to Abby's foot. "Bubble Gargle Bubble!" Don't leave me to suffer alone! What's left of the popular group are going to batter and fry me and serve me with fries!
"Fish, get off Abby - Goosey is going, Wonkey is in the crazy class and Foxy has disappeared so they can't be -that- bad!" Taylor told the goldfish, who refused to listen.
"You know, Taylor has a very good point there. Besides, her and Runt will protect you. Right, Runt?" Abby looked up at the enormous swine, giving him a look which just screamed 'say yes or you die'.
"Y-Yes! We'll protect you..." Surprisingly, Runt and the others were a lot more afraid of Foxy's friends than they were of Foxy herself. It may seem an illegitimate fear, but after reading her diary they realized Foxy set Goosey as her bodyguard for a good reason - She was excellent at sports, but was utterly hopeless when it came to fighting.
For this reason, half the school believed she may have been another victim of Nat's assailant with her sudden disappearance. Others believed she was the assailant.
CL tapped his foot against the ground, waiting for Fish to let go of his girlfriend. "Er, Fish. Everyone's made their point. I think you should get off now."
"-Almost- everyone's made their point!" Greta piped up, advancing on the duckling and her friend. "It's about time I made mine!"
And with that, the gecko began attempting to forcefully jerk Fish off Abby's leg. After a few tries and a little help from Taylor, it was a success.
"Blub. Blub. Gargle bubble." Oh fine then, leave. But it's so quiet without you! Fish pouted as the two birds left, but quickly got distracted by some of the fallen books and a yoyo dangling from Chicken Little's wide open locker.
"Greta! I thought you were popular?" Runt raised an eyebrow, giving Greta a dash of Deja Vu.
"I think I should record the answer to that. Or like, stick it on the school noticeboard!" Greta sighed, her back turned to Fish as he piled up the books.
While the others continued their boring conversation Fish had constructed a pedestal and had climbed onto it with the yo-yo in hand, the string still caught in the locker door's hinges.
Giving out a Tarzan-esque cry, he jumped off the pile of books swinging on the yoyo as if it were a vine. As he accelerated, he picked up the tiny lizard by her waist shortly before the string broke and he went crashing against a wall. Luckily for Greta, she had stuck herself onto the door of a locker before gravity had its fun.
Runt and Taylor rushed to Fish's side only to discover him laughing his scaly little orange head off and clapping his fins.
almost the entire avian population of Oakey Oaks at the police
station, Mayor Lurkey was thankful this was a small town. Had it been
any larger, the station would be more crowded than a candy store on
the school holidays.
He sat in a large comfy chair with little Emma by his side surrounded by bodyguards and a good view of the birds whose feathers would be pulled from their bodies to compare against the specimen found in the wax.
A sickeningly adorable cream and bronze guinea pig scuttled towards the line of birds, her almost silver eyes acanned the room before she raised her pair of tweezers and tiny sealable specimen bags, each one labelled with the subject's name. "Everyone else turned around and touched the ground before I did. Sorry." She gave a sad smile, knowing this event would damage her reputation for years to come.