Hidan and Kakuzu are my new favourite characters, they are truly the odd couple of the Narutoverse.

Disclaimer: I totally own Naruto, that’s why I’m writing fanfiction instead of just writing and drawing it and then having it published in Shounen Jump.

By the way you really need to read up to at least Chapter 312 to have a faint understanding of what is going on here.

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“Must you always do that ridiculous ritual?”

“Dammit! You know I can’t skip it, the scriptures are very strict!”

Kakuzu sighed and stared vacantly into the sky. He never had anything to do when Hidan decided to go all religious on him…well, even more religious than he was normally. Being partnered to Hidan for a couple of years now had made Kakuzu realise the futility and idiocy of religion, Hidan would constantly reprimand him for suggesting they kill ‘holy men’ or loot shrines but would then mouth off about how he just had to slaughter something.

Hypocrite.

It didn’t help that his Jashin ritual took a good hour or more to do, Kakuzu continually found himself late to EVERYTHING because of Hidan. He would have to enjoy seeing an impaled Hidan making guttural voices from his throat for over an hour and would then subsequently find bounties had moved on, precious cargoes of goods shipped away or a very angry Leader shouting about lateness at them because of Hidan’s tardiness.

Hidan made him late.

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“I don’t know why we have to take this detour.”

“Money is everything Hidan.”

Hidan scowled at his partners retreating back and slouched on after him. Searching all over Earth Country for a wanted criminal just to collect a few thousand ryou was something that Hidan found utterly pointless and boring. Kakuzu prided himself as being Akatsuki’s unofficial treasurer and would never fail to hand out ‘salaries’ to its members, but Hidan thought the man was extremely obsessive about money. Hidan liked to be paid money for his duties of course, even he needed to eat, drink or sleep with the occasional whore (the sect never said anything about not sleeping with prostitutes after all!). However, Kakuzu liked to go over the top in collecting money for the organisation.

Obsessive compulsive.

The way he got this money was the thing that annoyed Hidan the most. Collecting bounties in the most obscure and out the way places, ensuring that the destination they had originally been travelling to would not be reached for a long long time. Even a slight whiff of money would ensure Hidan would find himself rooting around a bog in swamp country searching for some low life criminal. They would then turn up at Akatsuki’s base of operations, stinking of shit (admittedly with their wallets slightly heavier) and would earn themselves a glare from the likes of Itachi and Sasori.

Kakuzu made him late.

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“You’re late.”

Seven blurred and shadowy figures stared at them. The body of a Jinchuuriki lay in the middle of the vast cavern.

Hidan’s left eyebrow twitched, Kakuzu remained impassive behind his mask.

“It’s his fault” they said in unison.

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Comments and constructive criticism most welcome.