Author's Note: Sorry for the lengthy delay! I used to wonder why writers didn't update, and now I know why. Not wanting to write sucks, but it feels good to have finished this chapter! I hope everyone still reading enjoys!

Warnings: Boylove. Alcohol.

Disclaimer: These characters are from Kingdom Hearts; they are not my creation.

Complexes

Chapter Ten: Almost There

I'm a pretty popular guy, but five phone calls in one evening was unusual even for me. It was beginning to feel like a chore, the whole repetitive process of answering the phone, pretending to be interested, giving the caller the old "I have to study" line, and hanging up. Only to do it all over in fifteen minutes to half an hour. Oh, not to mention the strain of retaining my spot in my accounting textbook through this rigmarole. I really was studying, and it really was a pain in the ass to be interrupted with such regularity. It made staying motivated that much more difficult.

So far my evening had gone something like this:

I realized I was at the point where I could no longer put off studying for my midterms and sat down to commence cramming like the good (frantic) student I was.

I'd barely begun when Namine called to coo over the fact that I managed to convince the pizza place near campus to break out their heart-shaped pan (usually reserved for Valentine's Day) and deliver a special pizza to Sora's apartment. It was partly an apology for getting carried away after Ethiopian food the other night, and partly just something I felt like doing. Sora deserved it. I figured flowers would be too formal for our unrelationship, and besides that, I don't think free food is ever more enjoyable then when you're away from home for the first time. In any case, this was the most tolerable of the five calls I received. Namine made statements like, "You've really become so sweet", and "I wish Tidus would do something that considerate". It was always nice to hear that I was better than Tidus at something.

On the topic of my esteemed roommate, Tidus called a few minutes later to say he had just found Pulp Fiction on DVD for five dollars. Watching Quentin Tarantino movies was one of our most established bonding activities, but a text message would have sufficed.

Leon could be so fascist (when he wasn't busy insisting I treat everyone in my FLC group equally like a total communist). He called to request a complete itinerary and budget for the upcoming FLC trip. At least I got him to admit that Cloud oozed sex appeal. Well, not in those terms—does anyone use those words these days?—but I think he grunted in the affirmative when I said Cloud's lectures were always very enjoyable.

A full half an hour later—long enough for me to make it through a chapter—my mom called. Just to say hi. She treats me the same indulgent way she did when I was five. I love her, but still.

Finally, the shy girl from my FLC group called not ten minutes afterwards to ask if there was going to be any overcharge associated with our field trip. At least this was quick as she wasn't known for speaking in complete sentences. Any other time, I would have been happy to see she was putting herself out there a bit more and would have appreciated the courage it took for her to call, but I really needed to study.

Just as I found where I had left off in my textbook, the phone rang a sixth time, prompting a strong desire to throw it against the wall. That would have been satisfying, but instead I grabbed it off my desk and pressed 'Talk'. I don't know how I didn't check the caller ID. Maybe I was actually hoping it would be a telemarketer for me to tell off.

"Hello," I said pointedly.

"Hey?"

Oh shit. Sora was pretty much the furthest thing from a telemarketer I could imagine. My tone changed immediately.

"Hi."

"Bad time?"

I didn't think there was another person on earth for whom I wouldn't have agreed with that statement, but Sora had strange powers over me. I wanted any form of contact with him I could get, as often as possible. There was no way I was ever going to discourage his phone calls.

"No, it's fine. I'm glad you called. I owe another apology for last night... That—really wasn't how I wanted things to go."

He laughed lightly, "No worries. I think the pizza made up for it."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it's just too bad I ate it all."

It was my turn to chuckle. I abandoned my studying completely and flopped down happily on my bed. Sora always made me so ridiculously lovesick. Something as simple as knowing he enjoyed the food I sent him caused me to swoon. It was a bit excessive. I like to think I'm calmer about the whole thing now.

"You ate it all?"

"Yep."

"You didn't even save me a piece?" I joked.

"Well, it wouldn't be right for you to profit from your apology pizza, would it?"

"I guess not, but maybe next time I'll get you a bigger one."

"Yeah... Hey, Riku?" he asked, his voice dropping with the subject of heart-shaped pizzas.

"Yeah?" I responded. I made sure to sound encouraging because I could sense that Sora was beginning to lose confidence again.

"I'm going to try something..."

"Try what?"

"Just something... If it works, I'll tell you everything, okay?"

I paused to think about what Sora was saying. Was this significant? In many ways, all it did was re-establish what our current situation was, with Sora planning on telling me eventually... when he felt ready... But then I realized something else: there had never been a plan before. Maybe this was progress.

All I could say was, "I hope it works."

"Me too."

I kept expecting Sora to spring some test on me, but it never came. I can't say the same thing for my accounting midterm, which I wrote the Friday afternoon before meeting Sora for our scheduled dance session. There was lot on my mind during those first couple months of school, but I knew when to focus; my future was important to me. The studying I did paid off, and I left feeling rather good about the test.

I even finished a few minutes early, allowing me to get to FAB ahead of Sora. The arts building was always quiet on Friday evenings, but especially so that day, with most students having abandoned their practice after the first round of midterms. Everyone I knew seemed to be headed to a bar or pub that night, but I was making my way into a quiet studio, sitting down in front the piano, not bothering to spread out sheet music because I knew Sora wouldn't let me see.

I was still sure he'd have something planned. Whatever it was he meant to try, I thought it would involve me.

I was ruminating on what Sora's plan could possibly involve when I heard the doorknob wriggle and turned toward the entrance of the room. An irrepressible smile tugged at my lips; Sora looked sweet in his workout clothes, an oversized hoodie and loose pants that I knew concealed something more form-fitting.

"Hi," he greeted me in that breathless way of his.

"Hi. How's it going?"

"Good. Two midterms down this week." This statement was followed by a big, almost goofy grin that I didn't see from him often enough back then.

"Nice. I just wrote one, too."

"Yeah? How'd it go?" he asked politely as he began remove his outer layer of clothing.

Answer the question, Riku. Don't get distracted! I scolded myself as I saw Sora working on the drawstring of his pants.

But it really was distracting. My answer was probably delayed by a fraction of a second. If it was enough to make Sora wonder, he didn't say anything. His goofy grin, however, was replaced by another expression I rarely saw from him; the slightest half-smirk had curled his mouth delicately.

"I aced it," I replied, half joking, fully hoping that statement would prove correct.

Sora's pants were gone at this point. He was wearing a pair of leggings and a baggy t-shirt and the effect was magnificent. Too good to last, apparently, because I saw the strip of black fabric he had used to blindfold me last time and knew I was about to temporarily lose my sight.

"Ever think about doing this to me under different circumstances?" I asked as he tied the cloth. It was a bit of forward question, true, but I couldn't control myself at absolutely all times. :D hahaha

"Riku," he admonished me calmly, with only a small hint of exasperation in his voice.

"I'll behave," I promised quickly. With the blindfold completely secured, there didn't seem to be much point in arguing. My perspective had changed so greatly—had shifted from complete visual awareness to perception more focused on sound and even air movements—that my comments prior to being blindfolded seemed to be from a different life. Rather than wanting to tease Sora, my sole priority became adjusting to my environment as quickly as possible because there was something unnerving about the completeness of the change.

There was also something exciting about it all. A nearly imperceptible thrill stayed me through the pieces Sora had chosen (more Chaikovsky). It increased when the choreography brought him closer to me, and I could feel the displaced air when he spun.

Was it like being touched?

I'm still not sure... Yes and no. It didn't compare to the real thing, but when it was all I could get, I lapped it up. I constantly wanted Sora's dancing to bring him closer.

I didn't know how long Sora wanted to dance for, so I played through movement after movement. They were all softer, tenderer then The Firebird's demanding measures. But then, most ballets were. I didn't read too much into the fact that Sora had chosen a piece that was all about finding your true love and becoming what you really were. The parallels were almost too acute; I couldn't let myself imagine that Sora felt connected to the romance of Swan Lake.

The fear that I would forget the next bar of music was constant during certain sections, but I let the music come to me and managed to play continuously. Twice I thought I heard Sora stumble, so I stopped, but was immediately told to continue. After the second instance I didn't stop again. Again, time slipped by inconceivably fast, and before I knew it, I felt Sora's hand on my shoulder and realized he was sitting next to me on the small bench.

"You sounded good."

"Are we done?"

"Yeah, but if you want to leave it on, be my guest," he offered, referring to the blindfold. I don't know how he sensed that I needed to be eased back into all the disturbances that sight caused when you were used to none; but I was glad he understood.

"Do you realize how much trust this takes?" I asked, aware of not only my blindness, but also the loss of music; that, too, took some getting used to after playing for so long. The silence ringing in my ears left me feeling a little uneasy, like I wasn't sure if I'd ever get the music back not that I had stopped. "I'm a little vulnerable here."

"You're not handcuffed, you know." Sora's tone was decidedly wry. Maybe my question about using blindfolds in different situations hadn't been so out of line after all. God, if there was any chance Sora was even occasionally into that kind of thing, I would never look at another person again. Ever.

I laughed. "No, not this time."

"But you're right—maybe you are a little vulnerable. I mean, you would never see this coming."

And he kissed me, his lips softer than I remembered, like he'd put on chapstick recently. Whatever the explanation, his mouth on mine felt wonderful, and I didn't let him pull away. My left hand lingered on the edge on the piano, and I placed my right over his neck, my thumb stroking his high cheekbone lightly. When I kissed him again, his lips parted, and I teased him with my tongue, but that was all.

He should have had all the power. In many ways he did, but even though I was blindfolded, I was the one endeavouring to prove my trustworthiness.

Sora, I swear, I'll never do anything to scare you again.

He whimpered softly, and the little sound made me want to touch him in a million different ways. I had to pull back before I got carried away.

"You..." I trailed off, not sure what I wanted to say. I think I may have been missing a couple of important words in front of that "you".

He tugged at one of the ends of the blindfold. "Take this off?"

It was a question, which I found endearing. I nodded, and Sora's fingers played over my scalp before the knot slipped loose easily. I smiled when I saw him, wondering if the flush on his cheeks was from his dancing or our kiss.

"That was productive," I observed contentedly, referring to everything about our session: Sora's dancing, my music, the embrace we'd just shared.

"Yeah. Thanks, Riku."

"Anytime."

Sora smiled again. "Good, but not for a couple days. My feet need to toughen up again," he explained, wiggling his pointe shoes.

"Really? You want to do this again in a couple days?" That was less time than the two weeks between our first meetings.

"Yes."

There was a determination in Sora's voice that reminded me of a person steeling themselves to bungee jump, and I knew something was bothering him. "What is it?"

"Nothing. I just wish I'd never had to stop."

Had to stop. The deliberate phrasing caught my attention. Sora hadn't just said: I wish I hadn't stopped, or I wish I hadn't decided to stop. He was subtly making it clear that hadn't had a choice, but I wondered if that were true.

Did you really have to stop, Sora? What could make you do that?

Sora didn't give me time to dwell on those questions. His voice brought me out of my thoughts: "Anyway, I've been meaning to tell you, it's my birthday next Wednesday, but Kairi's kind of planned something for Friday. I was hoping you'd come? I mean, if you don't mind devoting another Friday night to me."

Of course I accepted. I didn't mind at all, and I was sure Sora knew that. If he hadn't invited me to his party, I probably would have suggested some sort of date on my own. I loved spending time with Sora. I just wished I had a way to measure how close I was to truly being with him.

On his birthday, Sora arrived with Kairi wearing clothes I'd never seen him in before. A nice fitting white tee and even nicer fitting black jeans. I was suddenly very grateful that Kairi had chosen a pub for his party, and not a bar people only went to for the sake of hooking up. Still, knowing Sora wouldn't be getting groped on the dance floor did little to stop something very like jealousy from rising in me. I felt certain that everyone in the establishment would have their predatory little gazes fixed on him, and I hated the thought.

When he got closer, I all but shoved Tidus aside, emphatically making room for Sora next to me in the middle of our large circular booth. I'd brought Tidus, along with Namine, and Kairi had invited everyone else: the shy girl from FLC and a couple of friends Sora had made through his classes.

"Hi." He was speaking to everyone, and he smiled graciously at the chorus of "Happy Birthday"s he received, but he was looking mostly at me. His blue eyes stood out nicely in the soft lighting, and I suddenly wanted him beside me even more than before.

"Hi. Can I kiss you?" I asked as he slid into the spot I had cleared for him. I wanted everyone in the pub to know he was with me.

He looked around, and must have understood my intentions, because he nodded in a way that wasn't exactly reluctant, but wasn't quite enthusiastic either. It was permissive, maybe. I didn't mind; given the uncertain status of our relationship it was to be expected. Besides, it wasn't like Sora kept the kiss perfectly chaste. It was brief, but he immediately slipped me enough tongue to send my blood rushing. Pleased with the gesture, I grinned at him and mouthed "Happy Birthday" when he pulled away. He smiled back before turning his attention to the whole table.

Our sweetly executed greeting was the best part of the night. To be honest, it all went went downhill from there. It started when everyone did a shot together. Tidus eased up his purse strings (probably at Namine's insistence) and bought us a round. Then I bought Sora a drink. It seemed like an innocent enough gesture—you have to buy the birthday boy a drink; it's rude not to—until everyone else bought him a drink on top of that. Eventually he tried to give one to me, but I declined, easing it from his hand and setting it down before he spilled it.

That gave him a free hand that he seemed determined to use. At first, I let him grip my knee as he laughed at Kairi's dramatic retelling of her chemistry teacher's rant about cleaning lab supplies. I didn't stop him when his fingers began to skim the inside hem of my jeans, either. But when his hand inexplicably rocketed up my thigh and brushed against my cock, that was enough. I took his wrist and lifted it away with a slight shake of my head.

"Hey, Sora—easy," I said calmly, chuckling at his drunken eagerness.

"Right, sorry," he said in an exaggerated near slur. He held both of his hands up as if he'd been caught shoplifting.

I laughed again. "No worries. You're a little drunk, huh?"

"Psh, no."

"Psh, yeah."

"Psh, no."

Everyone at the table, while not as drunk as Sora, was tipsy enough to be amused by our little argument.

"They're laughing at me," Sora observed, his eyes wide and hurt. He put his hands against my chest to impress the seriousness of the situation upon me.

"No, they're not..."

"And you're lying," he accused, his pout only deepening.

"No, I'm not. They're not laughing at you, only how drunk you are."

"I am drunk."

"I know."

"And I'm oooooold."

"You're not old."

"It's my birthday."

"I know."

"I need some air."

Oh fuck, he's going to puke, was probably my first thought, followed by the realization that if he did vomit, it would end up right in my lap. Not pretty. But I was underestimating Sora's tolerance, because he made it outside just fine. He didn't even stumble much as we moved far enough down so we weren't blocking the door. And he definitely didn't seem queasy when he pushed me up against the wall, after which he proceeded to run his hands over my chest, paying particular attention to where my nipples had hardened from the cold.

"Hey, Sora, seriously—take it easy, okay?"

"But I told Kairi my secret. I deserve a reward for that."

"You what?" I was surprised by my own intensity. Considering I was slightly drunk and was getting felt up by Sora, I didn't think it would be possible for me to get angry, but I did. I grabbed Sora again, both of his wrists this time, harshly too.

"I told Kairi. I—" He stopped when he noticed the severity of my expression. "Riku..."

"I didn't know Kairi's been spending the last two months doing everything possible to make you comfortable around her," I snapped.

"I'm sorry. Riku, just—"

For some reason, my mind had programmed itself to be unrelentingly sceptical, argumentative, and unforgiving. What I picked up on was not the possibility that Sora was about to offer an explanation, but the fact that he was making excuses. It was unacceptable. My drunk self was not going to stand for it.

"You're not sorry. You act like you're going out of your way for me all time, but this has all been about you, Sora. It's a game."

"Riku!"

"You told Kairi... If you think that's okay, Sora, you have no idea what I've given up for you."

I don't even want to admit what I said next. The truth was, I didn't give up anything. It felt completely natural to focus on Sora to the exclusion of all others. It's not like there was anyone else out there I would have rather been with, even if it had meant having regular sex again. I don't know why I told Sora the complete opposite.

"You think it's fun tiptoeing around you when I could actually be getting some from pretty much anyone else in that bar?"

"This was a bad idea," he whispered, turning away from me. For a second, I was afraid he was going to wander down the street without his coat. I really didn't want to have to go after him, so it was a relief when he went back inside. Left alone, I waited in the cold a little longer, leaning against the outside wall of the pub and trying to calm down.

At the heart of it all, I was hurt. Hearing that Sora had told Kairi was a blow, and I was covering up the damage to my ego by lashing out at him. Now that I was by myself, I couldn't ignore how disappointed I was. Not mention that I was beginning to feel pretty shitty about what I had just said to Sora.

Eventually Kairi came out, looking apologetic as she approached. She knows, was all I could think, unable to stop the annoyance that flared inside of me.

"You're not my favourite person right now," I said frankly.

"I know... Sora's not feeling well," she informed me, looking worried.

I sighed. "Kairi, take him back to your place, okay? You need money for a cab?"

She shook her head. "No, I've got it... There was a reason, you know," she continued. "A reason why he told me. You should have listened to him."

"Yeah... We'll figure it out."

I believed that. I was beginning to see that the whole incident was just a fight when we were both drunk. We could talk about it tomorrow; by then our outlooks would have changed. I hoped anyway...

Two months ago, I wouldn't have just gone home that way I did. I would have found someone to take with me. I would have partied until I didn't remember half of the night. But I was taking this thing was Sora so seriously that I knew I couldn't enjoy myself after our argument. I was done.

I texted Tidus, and in a couple minutes he and Namine came out with my jacket. They, too, looked apologetic, though sympathetically so, not in the faintly sheepish way Kairi had. It felt good to walk home with them, listening to their conversation, the affectionate banter. They seemed determined to keep my spirits up, but their efforts weren't necessary. I felt better already; the fresh air had cleared my mind, and Kairi's message had gotten through to me, however belatedly. There was a reason, and I understood it.

I knew exactly why Sora had told Kairi.

"I'm going to try something... If it works I'll tell you everything, okay?"

I hoped that tomorrow he was going to tell me.

End notes: Progress has definitely been made on the next chapter, so I can pretty much guarantee that you will get to learn Sora's secret soon. I hope it doesn't disappoint.