A very awkward situation

Rating: PG-13/T

Genre: Humor/General

Summary: Set sometime during KHI. Axel tries to get Demyx back for a prank, and accidentally catches Riku… Involves honey, feathers, and an incredibly disturbing position…

Author's Note: Okay, the way I see it, Organization XIII was obviously around during KHI, so it is entirely possible that they and "Ansem's" posse met up at one point.

Disclaimer: I own only Riot, who only briefly appears in this story. I don't own Kingdom Hearts, which belongs to the amazing Tetsuya Nomura.

He drew the line at the squirrel.

It was a well-known fact- in both the World that Never was and Hollow Bastion- that Axel despised squirrels. Now, this wasn't too much of a problem, considering the fact that it was a rare occasion that one saw one of the fuzzy rodents in the World that Never was. Hollow Bastion, however… well, that was a bit more likely, considering that it still had some foliage on the outskirts of the castle. The hearts of rodents didn't really appeal to the Heartless.

Ah, but now you must be wondering- why was Organization currently residing in Hollow Bastion with Ansem, Maleficent, Riku and Riot (And, on the rare occasion, Sephiroth)? I'll give you a few hints:

KA-BOOM!

"VEXEN! YOU IDIOT! HOW MUCH NITRO-GLYCERIN DID YOU USE?"

Does that explain it thoroughly enough?

So, when Axel woke up one day in Hollow Bastion with a squirrel hovering less than an inch away from his face, one can easily picture a reaction: An enraged/terrified screech, and the sound of much crashing and smashing as attempts were made on the poor, fluffy-tailed creature's life. In the lower areas of the Hollow Bastion castle, Riku, Riot, Demyx and Zexion had suddenly looked up at the ceiling when they heard the commotion.

"…The Hell…?" Riku muttered. Riot's eyes instantly narrowed, and she sent a suspicious glare at Demyx.

"What did you do?" She asked. Demyx looked appalled.

"Riot! I am shocked! How could you possibly think that I would go out scavenging, grab a squirrel by the tail, bring it back, and put it on Axel's chest while he was asleep?" He asked, trying- and failing- to suppress a gigantic grin. Everyone deadpanned.

"I don't recall mentioning a squirrel." Riot said. A second later, Axel had come stomping down, grasping the offending rodent by the tail and holding it as far away from him as possible. Demyx and Riku were snickering uncontrollably, and even Zexion and Riot looked to be having trouble suppressing smirks. If looks could maim, Xemnas and Ansem would have gotten their servants' remains back in a matchbox. Axel glared at them all.

"Who…" He hissed. "Put this…" He shook the squirrel, making it squeak. The Flurry of dancing Flames was momentarily unable to speak.

"Squirrel?" Riku said, giggling. Axel's eye twitched.

"What he said… In my room? On my chest. While I was sleeping?" He growled. Riot quietly stood up and took the frightened squirrel from him, holding it on her lap for a moment. It stayed perfectly still- this girl was obviously safer than the crazy redhead!

"I believe Demyx gets the credit for this one," Zexion said, jerking a thumb at the blonde. Demyx laughed weakly.

"Er… Axel… Buddy… Pal… I think Superior would be angry if you tried to kill me again… So… Could you… Uh…" What Axel did next scared the ever-loving shit out of Demyx- The redhead smiled pleasantly. So pleasantly that Riot, Zexion and Riku had momentarily wondered if, in his total and uncontrollable rage, Axel had finally lost his mind. Axel slowly stalked over to the Melodious Nocturne and leaned down so that their faces were almost touching.

"I am going to get you for this," He said sweetly as Demyx tried frantically to back his chair into the wall. "And I want you to know that, until I do, you will be looking over your shoulder, wondering where and when Axel is going to kick. Your. Ass. Got it memorized?" Demyx whimpered, and Axel took that as a yes. He left the room, and Riku turned to Demyx.

"Well, it was nice knowing you, Demyx. Have fun in Hell!"
And with those cheerful words, we come to the present- two weeks later. Demyx was doing exactly what Axel predicted he would do- become incredibly nervous and jumpy, screaming and leaping about a foot in the air whenever someone surprised him. This became an excellent sport for Riku, who took immense pleasure from coming up behind Demyx and making a sudden, loud noise. More than once, the silver-haired boy had nearly gotten his head lopped off when Demyx's fear immediately switched to rage.

Axel was highly amused by these antics, and for a time, wondered if maybe he shouldn't actually do anything to get Demyx back- seeing the blonde boy squirm was amusing enough. But the crime of exposing Axel to a- he shudder to think of it- squirrel, was just too great to let go with just fear; no, there had to be some physical punishment involved. But what to do? The idea came to Axel one day- just randomly, no real inspiration. The thought just suddenly when he was running other evil-plot options through his head.

It was embarrassing, indeed; just enough torment involved to be square with the musician. Axel took what ingredients he needed from the kitchen and from random birds in Hollow Bastion. At one point, Riot saw him with some of the aforementioned ingredients. She opened her mouth to ask him what he was doing… Paused… and then shook her head. "I don't want to know." She said, stalking off.

And so, the day had come.

Time for… REVENGE!

Once the trap was set (In Demyx's room, obviously), Axel flattened himself against the wall behind the door and waited. After a few minutes, he heard footsteps coming towards Demyx's room. Jackpot, He thought, grinning evilly. Closer they came. Three… Two… One…

"Hey, Demyx, can I borrow your- WHOA!"

Oh. Shit.

Axel immediately knew that his plan had gone to hell when he heard Riku's voice instead of Demyx's. Riku instantly slid in the honey that was spread on the floor, fell (And consequently getting soaked in it) and slid into a box of feathers… now looking like a gigantic, multi-colored chocobo. Axel groaned and got out from his hiding spot to help the teenager. But he, too, slipped in the viscous substance and accidentally fell onto Riku, looking right into the younger boy's eyes.

Needless to say, this wasn't the best situation to be caught in.

And what better time for Sephiroth, Riot and Larxene to come running in, thinking there was trouble. Sephiroth- who had Masamune drawn- was the first to see the problem. Riot and Larxene followed. There was a pause. Then, the silence was broken by Larxene slapping a hand over her mouth to muffle her guffawing. The One-Winged Angel and the gothic teenager just stared.

"This… Is not what it looks like." Riku said quietly. Sephiroth quietly sheathed Masamune.

"Riku… What you do in your spare time is your business." He said.

"I think the correct term would be 'who' he does in his spare time!" Larxene howled. Riot blinked.

"Honestly, Riku, I didn't think you swung that way." She said, sounding- strangely enough- mildly disappointed.

"I DON'T SWING THAT WAY!" Riku roared, shoving a mortified Axel off him. He attempted to get up, but slipped in the honey and fell back down.

"Hey guys," Everyone turned, as one, to see Demyx in the doorway. He observed the scene in front of him, and blinked. "…Okay, what'd I miss?"

-Fin