Title: The Culprit
Type: Fanfiction
Fandom: X (by CLAMP)
Pairing(s): implied Sorata/Arashi
Genre: Humor, slight Romance
Word Count: 880
Notes: Response to a "Character Quirks Challenge" set forth by quietisrafel at togakushishrine. I wrote this in a very very short amount of time. I apologize for the crack.
Beta Read By: vioandroid105
Summary: Who did it? Arashi is determined to find out. (A pet peeve story.)

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The Culprit

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Arashi felt her eyebrows crease together, and she was positive that the expression on her face was a hopelessly sour one. This was most certainly not the way she liked to begin her mornings. No, despite her perceived personality, she was a generally happy girl in the mornings. But the particular offense in question had gone on long enough, and she had finally arrived at the end of her rope. The nefarious criminal activity was going to stop. She was going to find out the perpetrator and bring him to justice.

The first victim of her monotonous interrogation was Aoki Seiichiro. He had blinked at her for a long while from behind his glasses, as if not quite convinced she was actually cross-examining him. He had stared at her nervously for a good five minutes before proclaiming his innocence and striding hurriedly towards the kitchen. He was a family man, however, and she was quite certain that he had already been trained in the realm of good housekeeping manners.

The second prey to her catechizing was a sitting duck on the couch. Kamui stared tiredly at her with huge lavender eyes, but with effort, she managed to school her face into a practiced scowl in response. He blanched before sitting up straight and making room for her. She did not take the seat but merely stared impassively down at him. During her questioning, he took on what she would term a scared rabbit expression. He denied the charges and retreated to the kitchen as well, gliding away in a similar manner to how Aoki had.

So far, her investigation had come up short. Who could it be? Who was responsible for her daily morning torture the past few days? She heard footsteps and turned to find Imonoyama Nokoru coming down the stairs. He called out a morning greeting to her, blue eyes sparkling magnificently. She opened her mouth to ask him the same question she had subjected the other males to but stopped short. Surely, Imonoyama-san was not responsible. He was a respectable, polite man. Besides, he had his own private quarters, which probably included an exclusive bathroom.

She continued on, disregarding the apprehensive body language of Nokoru at her dismissal. The next person she met was Yuzuriha, who wished her a very good day as she smiled a white, toothy grin and offered her strawberry pocky. She informed the younger girl of her important mission, and the girl stepped aside dutifully and wished her luck. It seemed Yuzuriha hated it as well.

Subaru was all alone in the hallway, standing next to an expansive window. The stormy expression on his face made Arashi reluctant to approach. She stepped beside him, but he paid no attention to her. In fact, she discovered, she had to clear her throat a total of six times just to gain acknowledgement. He looked at her in surprise, his eyes glowing oddly green in the morning sunlight. Her voice was timid and strangely quiet when she queried him. To her surprise, he chuckled softly and shook his head. Then, he told her to search for Sorata.

Sorata.

She clenched her teeth together and stalked away, intent on finding said monk. She encountered Karen at the foot of the stairs. The older woman was dressed in revealing clothes as usual. She would never admit to it, but the striking lingerie Karen sometimes wore made her uncomfortable, especially when Sorata goggled at it. She asked the older woman if she had seen Sorata. Karen smirked like a Chesire cat before revealing his whereabouts: the kitchen. Of course, Arashi thought. He had an obsession about cooking breakfast for everyone. Thanking Karen, she stalked to the kitchen, where she found Sorata as well the flustered forms of Aoki, Kamui, and Nokoru.

Not wasting any time, she hastened to Sorata's side, disregarding his ritual morning shower of love. She said nothing. Grasping his wrist tightly, she dragged him away from the stove. She pulled him up the stairs, blushing when her sensitive ears picked up what she considered a not-too-nice insinuation from Nokoru. Sorata was protesting weakly as she tugged him along, as if he already knew exactly why he was in trouble.

She threw open the door of the bathroom and gestured towards the source of her annoyance. At the door, the heads of Aoki, Kamui, Nokoru, Yuzuriha, Subaru, and Karen curiously peeked in.

"Missy!" Sorata protested indignantly, "I didn't – !"

She shut him up with a glare.

"Fix it," she demanded with a chilling coolness.

Sorata's jaw gaped open and he shook his head in exasperation. He stepped over to the commode and gingerly pulled the seat down.

"I'm telling you it wasn't me," he mumbled mournfully.

Arashi snapped her eyes to him and fixed him with her iciest glare yet.

"Never leave it like that again."

Sorata apparently decided to take the blame – giving new meaning to the term "whipped."

"Okay, okay," he murmured apologetically. "I promise." Suddenly, he straightened up, a look of panic entering his eyes. "Breakfast!" he shouted. "It'll burn!"

In his rush to flee, he accidentally barreled over both Kamui and Yuzuriha.

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Thus, the mystery was solved...or was it?

Subaru was the last to leave, eyeing the fluttering sakura petal by the toilet with thinly veiled suspicion.

END.

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