Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Gilmore Girls characters.

A/N: Thanks everyone for all the reviews so far, I really appreciate it.

Lorelai felt herself hit the ground. She literally hit the ground. Her back ached, she was being attacked. In her sleep, she was thrashing about. She opened her eyes and realized where she was. It was five in the morning, she had rolled off the couch, and she was still in her bra and underwear. Her head ached, she felt dizzy. She was hung-over in the worst possible way. What had happened last night? She noted the empty bottle of tequila, and the bottle of vodka that was almost gone.

Then she remembered. Everything. Luke had seen her and Peter. It was over. She felt herself melt into tears on the stairs. His words…They had hurt so much.

"Luke…" She whispered, staring into his eyes so afraid, she had never seen such anger. "I'm so sorry…Please. I can't be without you, it'd kill me." He shook his head.

"How long?" He asked in shock. Lorelai broke into harder tears and shook her head.

"A month." He took a sharp breath. He hated her, but he loved her.

"Why would you do that?" He asked, his anger finally in his voice.

"We were just fighting, Luke…And I was sad, I just got caught up in a moment. Every time I tried to end it I'd get so caught up." She tilted her head. "Please, Luke." He looked her up and down, raw and naked.

"I can never think of you the same way." Lorelai broke down to her knees sobbing. Luke turned away from her and slowly walked back to the diner. She stood up.

"Luke…" she whispered, he whipped around. "I love you…Please don't…"He sighed.

"We're over." She nodded. She understood, but she would never be okay with it. She realized where she was, and in what clothes. In her bare feet she ran. She ran until home, where she grabbed the biggest bottle of tequila she could find and took a big slug slowly trying to relax. She was so close to hyperventilating.

Lorelai placed her head in her hands trying not to cry too hard, it was all her fault and she knew it. After a long moment, she gained control of herself again, and finished walking up the stairs. She pulled on an oversized cushy robe, and sat back down on her bed. She only got a moment of silence when there was a loud knock on the door.

"LORELAI!" She head Babette's voice, loud and raspy as ever. "ANSWER THE DOOR! WE'RE WORRIED!" Lorelai took a deep breath. She knew she would have to deal with this eventually. She slowly crept downstairs trying to ignore Babette's constant knocking. The stood in front of the door and slowly unchained it, and unlocked it. Finally, she turned the knob and faced Babette. Babette was panting, and if Lorelai wasn't irreversibly depressed, she might've found it funny how Babette was still in her nightgown and it looked like she just ran a marathon. The reality was Babette had probably only ran to Lorelai's from her house.

"Lorelai! Darling! What happened? East side Tilly heard the whole thing in the town square, it's all over town. Taylor's handing out bows again." Lorelai wanted to disappear.

"Babette…Just bad things happened…I did some stupid stuff." Babette nodded.

"No shit." Just hearing that from Babette surprised her. "Cheating with that Peter guy…But if your man doesn't please you…" Lorelai shook her head.

"Babette…I really can't handle this right now." She felt herself breaking down, hitting the ground even harder as her body crashed to the floor in sobs. Babette nodded sympathetically.

"I'm sorry, Lorelai…Uh, I'll come back later." Babette walked away and closed the door behind Lorelai, who didn't notice because she was wrapped up in a ball, sobbing. It was hitting her. Hard.

---

Luke closed the diner. He couldn't handle customers, not today, probably not tomorrow. He didn't even know if a week would do it. Even twenty years didn't seem like enough time for him to feel normal again. Lorelai cheated on him. That image was so stuck in his mind, it hurt. His head hurt. He was drunk. He wanted to be drunk for the rest of his life. Even alcohol couldn't numb his pain. He didn't think anything could.

"I can never think of you the same."

He remembered how she broke down as soon as he said that. Her tears had been too much, but every word she said just hurt him more. He was so angry at her. How could she have done this? Why did she do it? Why hadn't he seen through all of her excuses? Because he had always trusted her. He wished he hadn't. He wished for a lot of things. She was a whore to him. She could never redeem herself. She wasn't the same, they weren't the same. In one second, his whole future changed. He wanted to kill Peter, the nice guy who he met at the inn opening…He was now the ass that had been fucking his fiancée. Luke thought he had been a jerk to her but compared to what she did… He didn't want to think about what she did. He didn't want to think about her.

Who was he kidding? In one way or another, Lorelai was scattered all over his apartment, her toothbrush still sitting above the sink, her scent of pear shampoo, her razor in his shower, her pajamas, and her books on his side table. He didn't want to miss her, he wanted to hate her.

---

It was late in the afternoon when Lorelai heard the door open.

"Mom!" Rory sounded really upset. Lorelai had been laying in bed all day, ystaring at her wall and twiddling with her fingers. She was in serious breakdown mode. She heard Rory pound up the stairs and enter Lorelai's room.

"What were you thinking?" Rory said, angry and sad at the same time. She was so confused, hearing about her mom doing something like that to Luke. Lorelai turned over, then sat up, facing Rory, who sat down next to her mother.

"I don't know…" Lorelai whispered, breaking into tears again, trying her hardest not to. Rory looked at her mom, but for some reason she couldn't sympathize at all.

"I can't pity you, mom…What you did was awful." Lorelai nodded. Rory suddenly got a surge of anger. "You cheated on Luke. I can't believe you…You were in love! You were getting married! You're even worse than me when I was with Dean." Lorelai really didn't want to hear any of what Rory had to say.

"I don't want to hear about this, okay Rory?" She said while her voice elevated.

"Who else are you going to hear it from? Everyone in town is angry at you, all I see are blue ribbons, no pink…Mom, you're all alone in this and you need a heavy dose of reality if you think things are going to be okay."

"I see the reality, Rory! I know what I did, and all I want to do is fix it, but I really don't want to hear this from you. It's not helping me, Rory! I know everyone hates me, I don't care." By the end, she was yelling. Rory was angry.

"Fine." She said flatly. "Then you won't care if one more person hates you." With that, Rory walked out. Lorelai had no energy to run after her and apologize. She couldn't get herself to care.

Rory huffed out to her car and started it. Why did she have to get so angry at her mom? She was already going through a tough time; Rory didn't need to add to her problems. She sighed and drove away.

---

The next day Lorelai had to go to work. She had to change, and try to function. She had to be warm, and ignore dirty looks from people in town. She had to avoid Peter somehow. She could barely take a shower. How was she supposed to handle everything else?

She tried to dress herself. Every outfit she thought of had something that Luke picked out. Eventually, she found her pre-Luke clothes. She chose her simple blue suit with the flippy skirt. She used to love the flippy skirt. She tried coating her face with make-up, she tried doing her hair extra pretty, but whatever she did, all she looked was broken. She feared she'd look like this forever, burdened with guilt and plagued with loneliness from missing Luke.

She stepped into the kitchen in the inn. Sookie looked angry.

"Lorelai…Why would you do that?" Sookie said, exploding. Sookie took a breath; she felt a little bad bursting out at Lorelai like that. Sookie studied Lorelai, she was Sookie's best friend, and Lorelai had been there for her. Now, there was her best friend in front of her and she could tell she was crumbling. Lorelai poured herself some coffee, and when she turned around she was almost in tears.

"Sookie-." She said hoarsely.

"I know…I'm sorry. I'm here for you, I promise." Sookie vowed to try to understand her friend, even though it was hard to, even though what Lorelai did was wrong. She walked over to Lorelai and put her arms around her. "You're going to figure out, I'll help." Lorelai nodded.

"I know." Lorelai's face, streaked with tears broke Sookie's heart. She knew Lorelai was sorry, she saw it in her face, she heard it in her voice. Lorelai walked to the front desk. Michel stood there and looked her up and down.

"I saw what you did." He said without emotion. Lorelai looked at him.

"I don't care, Michel." She was trying to find some attitude. She was trying not to imagine how much Michel saw, she was also trying hard not to care.

---

Her day was…Awful. She had to go to the Mailboxes etc. and face half the town and Kirk on her way there. Blue ribbons were everywhere. Everyone had one, people who wore pink ribbons the first time they broke up were now donning the periwinkle blue ribbons. No one was going to support her.

"Lorelai." She looked over to Lane and gave her the warmest smile she could muster. "Um, Luke saw you out here and…He wanted to give you this." She shoved her a box and started to walk away.

"Hey Lane?" Lane turned around.

"Yeah?"

"Remember when Rory tried to convince you that the mud sandwich she made was actually chocolate?" Lane laughed.

"And I actually believed her, yeah…I remember that." Lane smiled at her and laughed.

"Well…Thanks, Lane." She turned around to leave.

"Yeah…" Lane muttered. She turned around again to Lorelai. "Hey Lorelai?" Lorelai spun around. "I'd wear a pink ribbon if they were giving them out." Lorelai smiled again.

---

Shewas trying to read. She couldn't concentrate. Her day, except for Lane, had been unbearable. People absolutely hated her. And even though she was trying not to let it get to her, it did…It bore into her whenever someone deemed her a slut or a whore.

"I can't do this anymore." She said to no one in particular. She set her book down and impulsively ran upstairs, and started to pack. She needed to leave, at least temporarily.