Alrighty then. Hello! Welcome back to this story! I am leaving Hawaii in a few days (On the first) and will be in California for 11 suffocating, lung depreciating days. Then I start school in Florida on the 22. I know. Sounds very interesting. Yes, I am not a senior or Junior or Freshman. Ha. Now you know the general age of me...heheheee. I fly alone and I'm 'legally' and adult in airport years. Yet it still costs $40 to have someone escort you to different terminals.

Extortionists. I swear. Well, Yes, I do have Illanie in here. No, am not insane. Yes, I did not mean to not have her in here so little-ly. I meant to get her all inside and wrapped around and all sorts of jazz.

I am too nice for my own good and I have another character that will be showing up that is not of my making. Illanie's cool because she has a conscious, and the new character for the next chapter is cool because she doesn't have an eyeball. Which reminds me.

YOU! YES YOU! Bullseye-Fanatic, I need to know if Margo wears anything over her eyeball. If so, what kind of design. If you feel too lazy to actually tell me and leave me a chance to get it wrong, please draw it, scan it (or whatever) and somehow e-mail it. Or PM me the link or whatever. Or...something. Message! Yes, message it to me!

I also need idea's on an incident that would push the guys too far over the edge about Brownie and Blondie. They also need names. Unfortunately, I am extremely biased and might choose something that is the eptiome of blonde. And that would be a tad 'hair' racist and I would get killed. So, a few ideas would be lovely!

REVIEW DAMMIT!

Chapter Eight/Nine/ whatever!

AKA

The love for something great and beautiful

DECEMBER 45

Okay. Not really.

DECEMBER 5

Um…something kinda weird happened at my third wedding. No. Really. Remember? Having to do it all over? Anyway-

No. No one died. In fact, no one’s died for like…a year. I know! WEIRD! It’s like the world put a hold on DEATH!!!!!!123-dhga,kdfn!

Ahem. Anyway (Again), I got a spastic phone call from Michelangelo. Oh-Don’t look at me like that! It wasn’t like the normal phone calls. In fact, this would be the first incoming call he’d ever made to me but oh well. He was super nervous and sounded kinda scared.

And guess when he called. Guess. Um. No. Not at the wedding. Electronic’s weren’t really allowed. It was I was half drunk on something everyone kept shoving at me. Don’t know what it was called or why it tasted weird. Even now, I’m not quite sure what really happened with our talk, but I still remembered the voice octaves. And the fact I needed to get to New York AS FAST AS POSSIBLE! AFAS! SAFA! AAFS! Or even FAAS. Almost like fast, only , without the t. So, here I am. Totally freaking out and fiddling with my ring(Yes, girls. It’s plain gold) while watching the white stuff out of my window’s commonly known to the public as clouds. I call them ‘death traps’. Honestly, after 9/11 what native or unnative wouldn’t be worried about landing in New York? Exactly. No one wouldn’t be freaking out.

LAAAWWW! OHMIGOD! TURBULANCE FROM HELL!

December 6

Okay. I’m currently in a jail cell for no reason. Ken’s…not with me. Let alone on the same continent, but I called him and he said he believed that I would be fine. And to leave him alone, the stock market was down. So being the good, teen wife I sighed and told him to go take a bath with my bath salts. It would help him relax and all that.

I had to ask for a phone book and looked up the Turtles’ company. Then I spent twenty minutes talking to the secretary who got in trouble with Raphael because he caught her swearing at me.

So….I’m waiting for one of them to pick me up. At 8. It’s noon right now. He told me he’d pick me up between work and a party. For some odd reason, I had an inkling that the ‘work’ part was another party. I’m so glad I’m on top of his list.

The police officer that was making sure I didn’t strangle myself with the cord gave me some confiscated cards to play with. It’s kinda boring to play solitaire when you can just shuffle them around at any point. Oh well. I SHALL SCHOOL MYSELF!

December 6th 9:34:29

Right. I so trust you Raphael. How ever will I survive? (Read: Sacrastic) WHAT THE FUCK?! I’m still here! All I’ve eaten was a donut! ONE! AND IT WASN’T EVEN THE WHOLE THING! I got half of it actually. Nice guard, feeding people. I told the police that if they let me have a comfy swivel chair, I’d let them hand cuff me to it so I wouldn’t be tempted to dart off into the wild.

Who’d want to anyway? There’s some crazy people across the street. Oh hey. Look who might’ve shown up for me.

December 7th

This really isn’t good. That so wasn’t Raphael. Let alone anyone I knew. So I’ve been kidnapped again. You may be thinking ‘WTF?!’ and I agree with you. I think it was because I was desperate to get out. Y’know…like any other person in mini-jail? And here I am. Kidnapped. And I think I’m being ransomed, not quite sure. I was told that I’d be having a ‘TV Conference’ (Whatever the hell that means) with the police or something. The guy is evidently on drugs because he was snorting cocaine while I was trying to eat my sandwich (From Subway! EAT FRESH!) without hands.

December 8

Well…uh. Leonardo looked sexy with his older self when he rescued me, but…who’s noticing? Then I was re-re kidnapped and tucked down in the new and improved Lair. It’s insane. There were speakers, art, pedestal’s that held nothing, gaming system’s galore, Blonde and Brownie (I’ve managed to steer clear of them so far), bigger rooms, and a better kitchen with a bigger fridge.

Dude. I told Ken that he’d wanna come. But NOOOO. He wanted to stay and go all stock market on us! Oh-hold on, Michelangelo came back all freaky.

December 9

Am currently blinking at a body. A live body of some girl whom it took a long time to pry all her leather off. She’s just damn lucky she had me doing this. Op-she’s drooling. Any one who drool’s in their sleep usually means they’re fine. I’m gonna go cook some Asian style stuff. Hahaaa. Take that. I know how to cool ASIAN style.

Yeah. Don’t get all sarcastic on me.

And don’t worry about Ms. Leather. She’ll wake up…eventually…later…hopefully placid like a half asleep hippo. Or a manatee. No wonder Manatee’s are practically all dead. They’re COWS!

December 10

Alrighty then. Ms. Leather is actually Illanie. Or…Kiera Illanie. I guess. Um. But Illanie is her first name. And ohmigod is she like a mix between Raphael and Leonardo. And Ohmigod (again). Blondie and Brownie told me they didn’t eat anything cooked when I served dinner a few hours ago. I nearly almost flipped out and started to build a spear gun out of clothes pins, a wire hanger, and a rubber band. Oh yes. It’s possible. Don’t doubt the Hawaiian mind. Er…partially. Not too much, but it depends what it’s mixed with-uh…okay, I’ll just stop insulting myself.

But yes, Illanie is fantastic and eat’s everything you put in front of her. In fact, she sort of just reached over and started pulling food of the DIOBOLICAL TWIN’S plates. So I did the same. I mean, I cooked all this food and even made fried rice! We had ton’s of leftover’s because Michelangelo and Raphael were doing something on the surface yesterday…so I re-heated everything. Nori went bonkers when Leatherhead brought her in. You know the ‘Clap! Raise hands to air!’ thing that baseball people do?

I totally just turned that into a ‘PRAISE THE LORD!’ thing. I mean, I said it out loud, too.

Anyway, Nori blew me off my feet and I landed on Donatello who landed on the couch. We were just one giant ball of…pain and surprise. No happiness here. Not then. We were afterwards. I mean, who wouldn’t when enveloped by a large, furry thing?

Not me, that’s for sure. I mean, I needed a hug.

December 12

Noon.

I just had chocolate for the first time in MONTHS! OHMYGOD! It was so-dude. I’m still drooling. Woops! Just got some on the paper! Heheee-but wow. It had creamy caramel and a little hint of a Crunch Bar chocolate. Y’know? That taste that uniquely their’s? Well it had that and some dark chocolate. And I HATE dark chocolate. But it was yummy. Guuh….wow. Just-holy crap.

Okay, I’ll update later.

12:01

Auuugh, PEANUT BUTTER! I hear angels singing! YES! It tastes SO GOOD!

12:01:45

I just realized that the whole chocolate thing is all Ken’s fault. I’ve been stuck with Vanilla at all my weddings. God DAMMIT!

Much, much later

Crap. I just heard the crazy cat call of DOOM! From Seaweed. There’s sooo gonna be a fight. Byeas.

December 13

You know what? Right now I’m patching up Seaweed because Blondie attacked with scissors. Yep. ATTACKED with SCISSORS!!!123! Seaweed’s missing almost half her ear. And-Dude. Illanie rocks. Guess what she did. No. Go ahead. Guess.

Ookay. No. That’s not what she did. Illanie pulled these knives out and stabbed Blondie. I’m talking about STABBED! IN THE HAND! Like, ouch. There was 3-d blood spray and screaming. Seaweed freaked out more of the screaming than the whole ‘I’m missing part of my 32 muscle ear’ thing.

Right. That went so well. Well, I must ahem try and keep the world at a somewhat balance and start laying down rules. Oh yes, you heard me. Rules. Like the ones that really aren’t allowed to be broken ‘cuz then you’d have to cook for yourself.

Yes, those rules.

Tootle pip! I’m tired!

December 15

Nothing has been happening. At all. Which is really weird. Hm. I guess today will be the day I finally corner Mikey and ask why the hell I’m here. Yep, I haven’t asked yet. Yet.

Nori’s ear is doing better. She pretty much had to be restrained from killed Donny while he gave her stitches or whatever. Evidently I did I bad job and he had the balls to tell me so. As much as I applaud him for doing so, it’s his fault anyway.

I mean, how fast did he move on to his other girlfriend? After the other one died? Ahaaa…exactly! Like…Um…Reference check, hold on….Uh. Wow. That took like what? Ten minutes? Jeeze. Okay.

Um-Well I suppose the ‘coming out’ of the ‘relatioship’ was on the 5th of January. And technically…that’s all because I licked him. And his ‘I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!’ girlfriend died-what? 29th of December? The fuck? What?! Okay, I’m so gonna talk to him about this. I mean, what?

Maybe they’d broken up a few weeks before and he was lovesick.

Maybe.

Probably not.

He’s probably just as shallow as the rest of the world.

Hahaaa. I just included myself by accident. AHA! I WILL DO AN ANNIVERSARY ‘OMG! YER OLD GIRLY-FRIEND DIED!’ THEMED! Mwahahahaaa!

December 16

Well, today Illanie totally freaked out for some odd reason and full on body tackled Brownie. I still don’t know. I got caught in the crossfire and Brownie tripped over me as I ‘patted’ away the blood stain on the (Evidently new) carpet. I nearly snapped my wrist ( My left, thankfully, else I wouldn’t be able to write this) From their combined weight and because SOMEONE’S manicured and Faux nails slashed my wrist. Thus making it wobbly. So…now I look like I’m suicidal. Great.

Anyway, I did something that has no other to be described. I bucked and they both went flying. So, I guess I kinda helped kill my wrist. Well, I sort of just rolled on my back and watched as Donatello pulled his girlfriend up and Leonardo had to actually think on a way to get Illanie cornered and away from Brownie.

But Am singing this outloud I know something you don’t know! HAHAAA! I KNOW SOMETHING HE DOESN’T KNOW!

In fact, I’m sure most of everyone but Illanie and I know. Well…they might. I mean, pheromones? Er- I just gave it away, didn’t I. Anyway:

ILLANIE LIKES LEO! UNREQUITED LOVE! How I nearly love thee. I shall begin a plot. A plot where my wrist will be out of it’s little Velcro casing and I can stand tall and not go ‘HOLY CRAP! DIVE!’. And, also…to be in a save environment. Oh yes, I must also ask Mikey about why he called. I know, late thinker huh?

AGAIN! Anyways, Jesus:

Leonardo ended up trapping Illanie by wrapping her up in a cocoon of manly arms of sexiness. Oh yes. You realize this is the second time I’ve called him sexy. No, third. That’s because, simply, he is. Hell, they all are. Very, very much so. Especially Raphael. Him and his bad self workin’ out like a crazy person. And we all know he’s a tad crazy up there anyway, what with the anger and ‘misunderstandments’ that were understood completely. But Leo’s all controlled and least likely to yell at you unless you do something really stupid. Like act all manly and ‘Rawr’ like his brother. Well, Leonardo wrapped Illanie all up then he started whispering ‘calm’ things at her. Yes. Whispering. To a girl who looked like she was old enough to start….well, it would be horribly rude of me to say ‘Fucking’ because I’m sure it’d mean a lot more to her. Um…I’ll go with-no not ‘screwing’ or ‘rutting’. And Sex is just dainty. Oh! I got it! The code word for her having sex is ‘Salamander’! So it’ll be ‘Old enough to start Salamandering’. Heheee! Embarassing, everyone knows what I’m saying, and I enjoy it! YAY! But yes, she was old enough to Salamander someone and was probably at her peak of wanting to Salamander in all of its Salamandering glory. Hahaaa! I’m cackling as I write this! Mwahahahaa! Ahh…if she finds this, she’s so gonna kill me. Good thing she has a conscious that works double time. Anywho, She sort of got this scandalized look because she was being (Inadvertently on Leonardo’s part) spooned. Then it faded to panic, then alarm (Two different things for her), then to a vague sense of ‘Ohmygod. I like this.’, Finally, she landed on, ‘Huu…heheheee. I love you now’. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind Salamandering him right now. As long as nothing bad happens. Or something. Or….something.

I’m tired. Goodnight! And I’ll remember to ask Michelangelo about why I’m here.

December 17

Um. Well...Illanie denies everything with a huge blush and she keep apologizing. Remember? The whole wrist thing? Oh-nevermind.

And Michelangelo looked kind of nervous, blue eyes all shifty like I was asking him something really obvious. Remember that too? The whole “Why am I here?” question?

This is what he said, “Uh…Can we do this later?”

Yes. LATER as if I were some ex girlfriend confronting him in front of his new one. What the fuck? So I asked again, only for Donatello to move to stand by us. Hello, Conversation going on…

And he said, “Michelangelo has some unrequited feelings.”

Then dodged the numerous objects flying after him. I sort of just stood there, staring at the wall where his face (once) was while things whipped past my head. Unrequited feelings. For me? Or for someone else? Oh hell nah, please not Blondie or Brownie! Pleasepleasepleaseplease….

Then- “Mei?”

“Huh?”

“What Donnie said-”

“What?”

“I like…”

“Yeeesh?”

“My secretary.”

That’s when I hit him over the head and yelled at him in Chinese. I didn’t know I even knew Chinese. I mean…I don’t. But I did! I yelled at him and it totally freaked us out! Then I sat down with him and let him tell the whole fuckin’ story. From the ‘Hello, my name is Ms. Lace’ to ‘Who’s a big boy?’ oddly revolting, yet very informative, I must tell you. He even discussed manly secrets with me. Like I wanted to know the secrets of the universe. I now know officially that their…ahems-Fuck. I swear but don’t mention body parts. How the hell am I built like that?!- are green. I mean, I suspected it, but I tried not to dwell on it. White guys are (evidently) pink and Turtles are green. Right. Like I so wanted to know that. Like I so needed to even HEAR it!

It really didn’t help that Seaweed came in (Looking rather pathetic with her ear wrapped up)and just stared up at us like a four year old. Which…she probably is…in human years-er.

So yeah. Michelangelo loves his human secretary and had sex with her. Right. That so makes sense to me. A FEMALE who’s never had sex with anyone but her husband and is so totally the wrong person to talk to. Though, I do suppose that because I am a female, I made him feel better. Not I feel bad for writing bad things about the whole thing in this entry.

I mean, think about it. No females, no romance, only television and his brothers. Then in comes the whole spiel with Blondie and Brownie revealing them to the open. Suddenly there’s all this money and options pouring in. Women want them, men too….at least some. All this love and acceptance coming from a place where the guys couldn’t imagine coming from.

Just like those many years ago, I really don’t like me right now. I have my happy ending. I will have human babies and deal with human problems. The guys won’t. They’ll have mutated creature children that won’t get accepted into society. At least the other children won’t accept. Kids are nasty and meaner than grown ups.

On that sad note, I end this entry.

Love you tons!

December 17 3:00 PM

Holy crap! It’s my birthday! I totally forgot! And…evidently everyone else did too. Yay! I’m 18! I’m old. Woah. Not cool. Besides, I’ve got bigger things to do rather than have a birthday party. It’s called figuring out a way to make sure Brownie and Blondie don’t marry Donatello and Raphael and get tons of money when they divorce of if they somehow ‘die’. Or get murdered, depends.

Happy birthday to meee!

3

REVIEW! I'm tired of this shit! oh. And if you feel somewhat insulted, tell me! It boosts my review count.

I suppose the reason I'm all testy is because There's a jackhammer going off by the door. Great. It just started up again. Fuck, man.

And yes, that whole chocolate thing? That's actually what happened to me when I was writing it. Two months without good chocolate. My god, it was heaven!

Now review. Please.