Chapter One Hundred and Fifty Two

If the going got worse and the worse got rough
The days became endless and harder than tough
I’d be good enough

Darren Hayes – Good Enough

Flack raised his eyes to meet mine as I set the phone down carefully on the side table, my hand rubbing my stomach gently. The paper was lying open on his knee as he flicked through it distracted.

“That was my mom; she’s on her way here from the hotel,” I forewarned him. Flack’s face curved into a brief smile as I pulled a face.

“Hey, she’s here to help,” he reminded me. I rolled my eyes.

“Yea help…” I muttered, moving towards the kitchen and flicking the kettle on and taking out three mugs, preparing for when mom landed.

“I know the woman’s going to drive me mad up until the baby’s born,” I whined to myself.

An impatient knocking broke through my ramblings. I bit back the groan that was rising in my throat as Don sprung off the couch and towards the door before I even had a chance to blink. He pulled open the door.

“Carla, how are you doing?” he asked with a wide smile. I could see Mom hugging him from my position on the other side of the doorway. I also noted that Don stiffened; as he drew back the smile faded from his face and was replaced with a hostile frown. I contemplated this for a moment until he stepped back, allowing my mother access to the room.

“She’s just in the kitchen,” Flack said, I could tell from his tone he wasn’t happy. I raised my head as my mother stepped into the room. She hadn’t changed a bit since I last saw her. Her dark brown hair sported fleck’s of grey, my eyes were staring back at me as she wrapped her arms around my gently, drawing me into a maternal hug. The familiar smell from my childhood brought back memories that had remained buried for years. I felt the comfort and reassurance that I had once felt as a child. As she pulled away I felt a smile creeping across my lips.

“You look wonderful Carmen, doesn’t she Jethro?” My head snapped up as I heard Flack close the door. He gave me an apologetic and weary look as my gaze flew from him to my father who was standing tall as ever in my living room. My breath caught in my throat and my jaw clenched. His bushy Santa-like beard was etched with more grey than black; he still had a full head of hair despite his age. His doe brown eyes fastened on mine. He was standing in exactly the same position he’d been standing in when I’d left.

The silence that covered the room was awful; I couldn’t open my mouth to speak. Nothing could have prepared me for this. I pretty much thought my father was out of my life when I told him I was moving in with Don. He hadn’t shown up at my wedding, he hadn’t played any part in my life since I’d moved to New York. I wondered what he was doing here, but that mild curiosity was shrouded by a dark and brewing anger and hurt, a lot o it.

“Carla, I think we should slip out and get some food,” Don’s voice broke in. I crossed my arms over my chest as my mother nodded, following him out the door. She shut it softly behind her leaving just me and Papi in the room. The look on his face was cold and defiant. I was guessing mine was the same.

I was the first to speak.

“What are you doing here?” I could barely get the words out. Papi’s eyes met mine as he grinded his teeth.

“Your mother told me you were pregnant.” His gruff voice was the same as it had always been. From the tone I knew nothing had changed.

“So you came to tell me what a mistake it was, how dangerous it is?!” The words sprang out of my mouth, harsh and cold sounding. Papi opened his mouth to speak but I broke in again.

“If it helps, it was more dangerous me getting pregnant than you’ll ever know. So save the spiel, I am not going to listen to that shit.” I ran my hand through my hair, shaking my head. Agitation was rife inside me and I was ignoring the small shooting pains that were jabbing me. I was losing my temper and not in a small way.

“This is my life! You can’t just decide to cut me off because I’m not doing what you want me to do. I’ve been through so much these past four years, and you weren’t there. I had to go through being told I couldn’t have children and then having a miscarriage on my own Papi.” Tears were pinpricking my eyes. I knew I was shouting but I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t bring myself to look at my father’s face. I couldn’t stand the disappointment that I knew would be there.

“Jesus! You weren’t even here when I nearly died in surgery nine months ago. Do you not understand?! I nearly died. I stopped breathing four times. The doctors said it was a miracle I even lived. I mean would you even have come to my funeral?” I blurted out, with tears were running down my cheeks. I was taking deep breaths to try and calm myself.

“I never wanted this for you Carmen; I thought you could do so much more than being a cop. Look at it, look at all the pain it’s brought you,” Papi implored. I stared at him horrified.

“Can’t you focus on all the good it’s brought me? I have a family here; I help people for a living. I fell in love with a man who’s a hero, Papi, and I’m pregnant with his child! I think that’s something you should be proud of. I make a difference in people’s lives, I save people.”

“And who’s there to save you? Where was your hero when you were blown up in that bomb blast or when Mathew stabbed you? Where the hell was he then?!” Papi was shouting now his face red and contorted.

“He was there, he was right there, fighting to get loose so he could help me! I can not tell you how many times that Don has saved my life He’s been there for me through everything, and I could never ask more from him. So what he’s a cop, it doesn’t matter because I love him. It shouldn’t matter to you. You should be proud to have a son-in-law that would give his life away in the drop of a hat for me.” Another pain in my side made me pause for breath.

Papi looked stunned at my words. I put a hand to my stomach almost gasping out loud.

“I think it’s best you leave,” I snapped at Papi, as he took a step forward. Pain was coming and going quickly now.

“Carmen?” Papi’s voice was soft now. I felt a gush from between my legs as I looked down.

“Shit,” I muttered as another wave of pain rocked me. I saw the realization on Papi’s face as I cursed.

“Ok, stay calm. You’re going into labour.” I shook my head. As Papi got his phone out and began to dial.

“It’s too early. I can’t be…” Another crippling pain and Papi was helping me settle to carpeted floor.

“I’ve called an ambulance and they’re on the way, I just need you to stay calm.” He said reassuringly, patting my arm. I took a deep breath.

“Call Hawkes.” I said abruptly. Papi shook his head in confusion.

“Whose Hawkes?”

“He’s a doctor…don’t argue…get my phone and call him, he can get here before…” I let out a choked whine, as the pain erupted lower in my body. Papi stood up and moved quickly towards my handbag lying on the side.

“Papi?” He turned his eyes worried, studying me.

“Call Don.”

--

Flack

He was sitting patiently on the chairs outside the surgery room, his hands clasped together. Don was praying. He needed this to go right. Hands pressed to his forehead he was hoping God would grant this wish. They’d been through so much. Next to him, Carmen’s father sat in shock staring stonily at the doors to the operating room. Hawkes had taken Carmen’s mother to the canteen to get a mug of coffee. For that Flack was grateful. Carla had practically been in hysterics when Carmen was wheeled into the O.R for her C-section. It had taken all his patience to explain clearly to her why her daughter was not having a natural birth.

“I thought she was going to give birth right there in your apartment.” Jethro said finally. Flack twisted his head towards the other man surprised. He hadn’t expected Carmen’s father to say anything at all to him.

“I’m just glad Hawkes got there when he did, there was no way that baby was going to come out on its own,” Flack told Jethro, shuddering. Jethro nodded before blinking again in the direction of the door.

“You think she’ll be ok?” Jethro asked so quietly Flack thought that he almost hadn’t heard it. Flack raised his head and looked Jethro straight in the eyes.

“If there’s one thing I know about your daughter, she’s a fighter,” Flack spoke honestly. Jethro bowed his head before speaking again.

“We were fighting before she went into labour. She was right though, I should have been there. I thought about it a lot, but I just couldn’t take that step.”

“Why?” Flack figured he had nothing to lose to he asked the question. He watched as the older man spoke softly.

“When Elliot died I felt empty, it was a like a piece of my heart had stopped beating. And frozen over the rest. I wanted… I wanted the best for my other kids, Carmen should have a nice loving family in a safe life. I wanted that for her, but she was always the rebellious one and she chose New York and she chose you.” Jethro met Flack’s piercing blue eyes, and he knew the younger man was struggling to understand.

“To me New York was dangerous, the only decent person I ever met from here was that Messer kid, and even he has a dodgy background.” He paused for a second.

“Anyway I always thought she’d get it together, quit the job, and raise a family, maybe even move back to Portland. She thinks I don’t know about all the other stuff. I followed her career through the papers. Her records impressive, but I kept seeing the danger she was getting in. I couldn’t see past that. I’ll admit part of me blamed you,” Jethro admitted, he was starring at his hands now.

“I thought it was you that was keeping her in New York and that it was you that was keeping her as a cop, but she made me realize that this sort of thing is in her blood. She can’t do anything else because helping people this way is the only thing she’s ever wanted to be. Underneath all this bitterness, I realized that I was proud of her. She came here all alone, she made friends and a life here and now she’s starting a family and she’s done all this by herself. No help from me and her mother at all.” Jethro shook his head in wonderment.

“I came here to tell her I was proud of her. But somehow we ended up fighting and then…well you know the rest of it. I just… I wanna say I’m proud of her. I love her, and I’m ashamed that it wasn’t me walking her down the aisle,” Jethro confessed. Flack let a dry smile cross his lips.

“It was probably a good thing the first time around, the roof exploding and all,” Flack pointed out. Jethro turned his head to study the other man.

“How do you carry all that on your shoulders?” he asked bluntly. Flack shrugged before staring at the doors in front of them.

“You just take it day by day and thank God you’re alive at the end of it. You can’t keep worrying about the next day and the day after that because you have no idea what’s ahead. The point is, despite everything, I’m still here with Carmen. I love your daughter and I always will. She was the only person I could ever imagine spending the rest of my life with. Sometimes I think of everything we’ve been through…” Don paused frowning at the recollection of memories before twisting to face Jethro who was watching him in almost awe.

“Sometimes I look back and wonder how the hell we survived all of those things. Then I remember the important part of those memories is that we did. All that matters is that we’re here right now,” Flack finished. Jethro’s gaze softened before he patted Flack’s knee like a son.

“She’s lucky to have you, son,” Jethro uttered as the doors in front of them swung open.

Doctor Preston was taking off his surgical mask as the other two men rose to their feet.

“Doc?” Flack asked a tiny quiver in his voice.

“Congratulations, you are the father of a healthy baby boy.” Flack couldn’t keep the grin off his face.

“How’s my daughter, doctor?” Jethro asked as Doctor Preston beamed at them both.

“She’s doing fine, she’s still groggy and very tired from the C-section but otherwise she’s fine. Would you like to see them both?” Preston offered.

Both Flack and Jethro nodded enthusiastically before following the Doctor into the quiet corridor beyond the double doors.

--

Carmen

I was feeling groggy and insanely happy from the drugs they had slipped me for the surgery when I caught sight of Flack and Papi taking quick steps toward me. The baby, our baby was nestled in my arms a blue blanket wrapped around him as he gurgled. I couldn’t believe how tiny he was. Upon his head he was already spouting a patch of thick dark hair.

“It looks like he takes after his daddy,” I teased as Flack stared at the tiny bundle in wonder. He leaned, his lips brushing my forehead. As he pulled away I caught the expression on his face, it was one of pure joy. I held the baby out to him and he took the little bundle from my arms gently. The baby’s hands rose up clasping at his finger gently.

“Hey, I think he recognizes me.” I grinned before leaning back on my pillow, as my father inched closer. To my surprise Papi kissed my cheek.

“I am so proud of you baby,” he uttered, pulling away and looking into my eyes. I felt tears pinpricking my eyes as he pulled away. I could see it in his face he meant it. I sniffed a little, before pulling myself together.

“Do you want to hold him?” I asked quietly. It was the first smile I’d seen on Papi’s face in five years and it touched me deeply. He took the baby from Flack’s arms carefully and jiggled the baby as softly as he could.

“Do you have a name picked out for this little lad?” Flack clasped my hand, and kissed it softly before Papi raised his head and looked pointedly at the both of us.

Flack turned his head to me.

“We were thinking Thomas Benjamin Flack if it was boy.” I said a little uncertain on how Papi would take the last name. Papi was still beaming when he looked back down at his tiny grandson.

“I think that’s perfect.”

END

Charmedgray: Devon won’t feature in this story anymore. Cindy is a random girl who works in the precinct and tried it on with Flack. Lol I decided I am not going with a two foot radius of the name Aiden. I think it’s two cliché. Jennifer I think is a nice name for a girl! Thank you. I am honoured you love this story! Look out for the sequel.

Soccer-bitch: How was the other day the day from hell? Thanks for the enjoying the story. The sequel is out soon so look out for it.

Sparkycsi: lol sorry I sent you so many chaps. I’m gonna put the sequel up at some point soon. I will be working on chapter five soon, maybe tonight or in the next few days.

Bluehavan4220: lol This one is a little longer. You’ll get to enjoy the sequel soon hopefully. I’m glad you like this chapter; I have no idea where it came from. It literally just jumped straight into my head.

Maddy Bellows: lol not far from the end. Thanks for all your help. I’m glad you like what I wrote. I love this story lol. It’s my baby!

Demolished-soul: lol this chapter was the end of SD. But watch out for the sequel. The chapter basically wrote itself.