A/N: As we draw to chapter three, I would like to say now that you have been warned. Violence, violence, and more violence. Actually, that comes later. The first part of the chapter is basically a day in the life of the first victim, and we see what Sonics personality is really like. Maybe that will make his eventual demise easier, or harder to take. Either way, this is going to be damn funny.

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Yard Work

Disclaimer: I don't own Sonic, or Super Smash Brothers, I do however, own these words: WRITING DISCLAIMERS SUCKS IF YOU DON'T THROW HUMOR INTO IT! I mean, who wants to read a paragraph about how you don't own all these things. Frankly, it's depressing. Not in this case, as I'm glad I don't own Sonic. I don't see whats so special about a lightning fast hedgehog, nasty little animals, by the way. How can people prefer Sonic to Shadowman, the undead voodoo warrior, bane of Deadside! If you thought Spawn was disturbing, play Shadowman! (Legion and pals are ther shiznit.)

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Dr. Mario was noticably disturbed that afternoon. During his anger management session with Yoshi regarding serious rage issues, he was barely there. Unfocused and completely out of it, he nearly killed Link while checking his reflexes. It appears he grabbed a hypodermic needle containing the chemical used in euthanasia as opposed to a basic mallet. Luckily he only stuck his assistant Mario with it, but not to worry, he had approximately ten lives left.

Dr. Betruger, in his proffesionally sarcastic and caring way, wondered aloud to Dr. Mario why he was acting so strange. Dr. Mario roughly replied it would be rather hilarious if Dr. Betruger's mother was hit by a car. Betruger, thinking that pressing the subject might be a bad idea, did not persist. The only thing Marvin Mario would say on the matter is that he hoped "He won't make it so messy." Afterwards he replied, "Did I say that out loud?"

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Sonic breathed a sigh of relief as Knuckles came to relieve him of his duties for the afternoon. Life behind the counter of a variety store did suck so. God knows he didn't need the money, but it kept up appearances. He signed out and made his way into the parking lot to where he had left his bike, to find his partner in crime, Tails.

Tails was wearing a half smile of knowing contempt, and his arms were crossed over his chest. "That," Tails chuckled, "Is not your bike, Sonic."

"So what?" The hedgehog growled, mounting the basic bicycle. "I stole it from down the road. It's not like that fatass was going to be riding it anytime soon anyway." He began to ride forward.

Tails jogged to keep up. "Better keep your head down, man. Eggman's been talking shit again. Seeing as you haven't paid him back for all those 'shrooms yet. He says it's the last straw. It's do or die, man." Tails told him sincerely.

Sonic laughed out loud. "I'm not afraid of that burn-out. What's he going to do? Hump me into submission?" Sonic was quickly growing tired of Tail's nagging.

Tails shook his head, disgusted. "You know, just because you got accepted into Brawl doesn't mean you have to get such an inflated head about it. They say that whole tournament's a joke, anyways. They say it's all for 'Popular demand' and not the competition. Personally, Sonic, I agree."

Sonic pulled the brake's quickly, and hopped off the bike, tossing it to the ground. "What's that, you bush tailed freak? So what? I get payed, and they selected me. What does that say? I'm important. Not you. Buzz off."

Tails sighed and lowered his gaze. Sonic had degenerated. Greatly. He used to be a cool guy. But like most, the fame had gotten to his head. Well, he would get his, someday. Tails had no idea how right he was. So as Sonic biked off, Tails said a silent prayer for the friend he once knew.

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The trap was set, and the individual waited in the darkness of the tool shed. The large yard of the infamous hedgehog had become a subtle death-trap. Nothing appeared wrong at a glance, and it wouldn't until it was too late. For Sonic, that was. And now, here came the sound of tires! A car was pulling into the driveway. He prepared, his fingers on the ignition of the machine, as the car door swung open.

It wasn't sonic, it was Eggman. It was apparent that he wasn't the only one with plans for Sonic. Unfortunately, any thoughts of comradeship were shattered as the bumbling scientist walked directly into the first trap by attempting to turn the doorknob. The being in the shed winced as there was a click, and the string that held the swinging guillotine in a nearby tree was pulled.

Eggman had time to widen his eyes before he was cleaved in two. This would not do. He burst from the shed and began using his extra cleaning supplies to wipe up the blood and dispose of the body. If Sonic so much as saw a speck of blood he would be out of there. Not to mention the most effective trap was now useless. It would take way too long to prepare again. Luckily there were a few backup traps, but unfortunately they would have to work. If they failed, and Sonic lived, his cover would be blown, and stealth was the ultimate objective.

He got into the car and drove it into the bush that Sonic had in his backyard. He thanked the heavens that there were no neighbors near the massive stucco home as he got out. He casually sauntered back to the shed, whistling the whole way. A toolbox was removed and some rather nasty contraptions taken from it. As he prepared, he reflected on the twisted mentality he had. He would revert to this computive state of mind when he was deadly serious upon a subject, and be completely laid back upon others. He brushed it aside. Best to get it out of the way. He finished stringing twine and stood. It was time to hide.

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Sonic grumbled absently to himself as he neared his large home. The bike was a bit large and he had some trouble controlling it. Nonetheless he was determined to get home and pack his thigns for the competition. It was going to be held in the Lost Land, an odd choice for a Nintendo Competition, but the king of the continent, a certain Tyrannus had agreed to allow the massive tournament to be held in a Galyana stadium, as long as they got an honorable mention, of course.

Sonic didn't mind. Galyana was supposed to be a rocking city. A tad rough, yes, but the best food and pubs that the planet could offer. He rolled up his driveway as the sun dimmed and tossed the stolen bike down upon the earth. He strode up the walkway before he paused. Something was wrong. The smell of gasoline was heavy in the air. Did someone fuck with his home?

Sonic swung open the door to see nothing, and then the motor started. He wheeled about to see the most terrifying thing he had ever experienced. A lawnmower was roaring towards him, and a lone psycho clad in a goalie suit and a ski-mask mounted it. A high pitched cackle came from the individual, and Sonic turned to flee. He could outrun the relatively slow machine quite quickly. So he pushed his maximum speed and became a blue blur.

Then he tripped, layed flat out by some unknown force. A surge of numbness raked through his legs and he looked down. His eyes widened as he acknowledged the absence of his feet below the shins. Twine had been strung across his yard at ankle-height, and he had run directly into it. He snapped out of his stupor to notice that the sound of the motor was sickeningly close now. He turned onto his back and got to watch the machine bear down upon him.

His last sight was of the front of the large John Deere, a grate of steel that had a small smiling face sticker upon it; With the caption, "Have a nice day."

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"What do ya' make of it, Doctor?" Sergeant Ace asked the very pale coroner, one Marvin Mario. The doctor shook his head and only stared with wide eyes. He remained in this position for several minutes before he spoke:

"I have no idea. It's looks as though he's been raped by a blender... But if I had a guess I'd say that bloodstained lawn-mower had something to do with it." Dr. Mario strode over to the machine and hunched over it. His eyes caught a slip of parchment and he opened it. 'Remember the deal.' Was all it said. He pocketed it and turned back to the policeman.

"No evidence as to who might have done it?" Dr. Mario asked nervously.

"No, we didn't want to check anything without your knowledge, sir." Came the reply.

"Do we have any background info on Sonic? Grudges, any enemies?" The doctor coughed and averted the Sergeants gaze.

"We have a lead. Him and Dr. Eggman had been feuding for quite a while now. Apparently Sonic owed him money over a drug scandal." He looked at the disgruntled medical official. "Something bugging you, Doc?"

Dr. Mario gave a nervous laugh. "No, I'm only witnessing one of the most gruesome murders in history... Anyways, I suggest checking up on Eggman."

Ace shook his head. "Reporting missing by one of his friends two hours ago. An hour after the T.O.D. "

Dr. Mario snapped his fingers. "Aha, well that's it then. He killed Sonic, then packed up and left town. I'd check up on relatives, old friends, anywhere he would go for refuge." Dr. Mario began to walk down the drive, intent on catching the train back to Mushroom Kingdom. "Call me when you get new evidence."

"Will do..." Ace muttered, watching the disgruntled medical official stagger off into the fading sunlight. Something was wrong with the whole thing, he couldn't see it but he felt it. As Dr. Mario neared the town sign, he realized he desperately needed a drink.

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A/N: Well that's that. Sorry for the long update time. Hope this pleases the fans of this story.