-A Ghost Without Regret-

Author's note: When did I become so perverted? WHEN? -.-; Gah, I want strawberry icecream. Yay, after a quick-frightening trip downstairs into the dark abyss of my kitchen, I am endowed with icecream and a strong will to write smut. I'm going to do it, damn it all, I'm going to do it. (It's 3.26 in the morning so forgive and forget!) Please review or else I'll cry, or I may not. I may just put these lines beside my words and make you think I'm crying like so: -sob- Then you can get this dismal image of a sad little girl, hunched over her laptop bawling: "It's not goooooddddd enough!"

XD We all knew Naruto was a screamer. Commee onnnn, how couldn't he be?

P.s. I'm writing this currently on a train to Washington D.C.—so forgive the grammar, I'm about to hurl.

Konoha had always been haunted, or so the legends relayed. Being a ninja village, people often died and with their passing their dreams and lives faded into that indefinite realm of memory. Villagers would gaze wistfully at pictures of stricken comrades with the silent question stinging their tongue: "Did they have any regrets?" And those whom seemed to shoulder those eternal burdens were said to become ghosts—ethereal presences desperate for the warm flesh and blood that had slipped between their fingers.

For the most part however, the accounts of these ghostly encounters were scarce and highly unreliable. Various villagers reported a disembodied scream to the Hokage once and a while and of course the dreaded and deadly shadow-in-the-corner-of-the-eye, but there had never been an actual sighting or occurrence that had been factual enough to investigate. (Omitting the one time, of course, Iruka had reported flying silverware in his house only to find the culprit not an irate ghoul but Naruto and some fishing wire. The boy's ears still rang sometimes from the deafening chewing out he had received from Tsunade and Iruka both.)

The screams began appearing in the summer at various times in the day. Loud, choked howls resonated from alley-ways and the forest and other such places that made many people pale with the idea of traveling into to discover the spine-chilling origin. What appeared to be the most unusual thing, however, was the fact that these pained shrieks could sometimes be heard echoing from the dark Uchiha clan complex. Clouded with a bloody past, the vacant houses, neighbors decided, were a perfect breeding ground for ghosts.

"Did you hear it last night?" Batty, old Mrs. What's-her-face discussed with Mrs. Who's-it over their morning coffee. Mrs. Who's-it nodded enthusiastically.

"Yes, yes of course I did." She piped, placing her wrinkled, frail hand to her cheek, clearly exasperated. "Such terrible, terrible moans. It sounded like someone was being tortured all night long."

Mrs. What's-her-face leaned in over her steaming coffee. "Do you know what I think I heard the voice yell last night?"

Mrs. Who's-it bent forward, eyes wide with expectation. "What?"

"Well I was in the bathroom, mind you, so it was sort of muffled but—well, I think I heard a voice moan 'Sasuke'."

Her elderly company gasped and they shared a deliberate look.

"Then it's his family." She whispered.

"Yes," Replied her ancient friend solemnly.

Suddenly, an orange blur caught both their feeble eyes and they turned towards the window where a said loner was currently strolling by, with his hands tucked self-assuredly into his pockets. He was the perfect portrait of a valiant child, trudging through the pain of his missing family with his chin held firm and high; the ladies respected him deeply for it. Latched unto an arm, however, like a wiggling parasite, was the lively monster that made the canyons etched haphazardly on the old ladies' faces deepen—Naruto.

"What's he doing with Sasuke?" Mrs. Who's-it grunted, sipping her black coffee through two pursed lips.

"Oh, they're teammates or something." Answered Mrs. What's-her-face, nursing at her own coffee and unraveling the daily newspaper.

Her friend scowled at the vivacious creature jumping up and down, apparently in the middle of a very animated story. Sasuke's face remained impassive, but his eyes glistened strangely; very strangely.

"It'll be the end of him if he gets tangled up with that boy." She muttered, watching their backs fade away into the bright crowds of misty Konoha mornings.

"Of course. Would you like some more cream?"

"Please."

Summer's bright jade leaves slowly began to fail to the red and orange hues of fall. The screams did not die away with the leaves though; it seemed they were getting more frequent and stronger at that. Finally, someone complained to the Hokage who was left highly unimpressed.

"Please," Tsunade whined, brushing the request off with a wave of her hand. "It's probably just two people at it like rabbits."

"No," the man who had reported it shook his head frantically, his comb-over flapping dangerously back and forth on his shiny head. "These are horrible moans! As if someone is in awful pain. They give me the chills and have kept my family up all night. My children are terrified; they think the ghost is going to come eat them up so they won't sleep in their rooms alone."

Tsunade sighed, rubbing her temple. "Fine, fine; I'll have some reliable people look into."

And with earnest eyes watering with the joy of having an entire un-interrupted night of sleep, the man departed.

Tsunade concluded she'd call in three specialists, or rather, three ninjas who currently weren't on any missions: Kiba, Shino, and Neji. Obviously, these cries were a hindrance to the villagers and had to be stopped, even as un-dire as they were. So, armed with a 20 minute lecture from the cross hokage on moronic tasks a ninja must pursue for the good of the village, the trio set out into the chilly autumn night in search of the elusive screams.

"I've found nothing." Neji announced finally, after three hours of fruitless investigating. They had prodded every shadowy alley; every dark corner of the village, but the silent night stayed just that.

"This is a damn waste of time." Griped Kiba, scratching his nose as he grimaced.

"We'll go home after we search the forest." Shino declared, causing the others to fume just a little bit more. Just as they entered the dark woods, Neji tensed and halted, earning a couple of quizzical stares.

"Someone else is here." He muttered, abruptly ducking behind a nearby tree. Hesitantly, the other two followed. Utilizing his blood limit, Neji's pale eye's bulged and then suddenly, he gasped.

"Sasuke and Naruto?"

Kiba's superior ear's perked at the faint sound of Naruto's strident voice, contrasting violently with the pleasant, soft mummers of the Cicada.

"—And, and then! Then I said, 'You can't win because there isn't a man alive that doesn't love ramen more then me!' and then he glared like a little pansy at me and I glared so cool back, ah, Sasuke you should have seen! And then I battled him, and of course, kicked his ass into the ground and then afterwards—"

"Naruto!" Sasuke interjected irately as they halted directly in the trio's line of sight. "I honestly don't care."

"Ehhh," Naruto whined in a high, shrill tone that no normal 15 year old boy should still be able to hit. "But Sasuke, I really like having dreams for a change."

Neji's pallid eyes enlarged as he watched Uchiha's reaction. He was, well from what he could see, pouting.

"I don't." He muttered, looking away from the orange bundle and crossing his arms.

"Come on Sasuke!" Naruto cried, latching unto his teammate's arm. "Ne, ne, isn't it nice getting a full night of sleep and not being sleepy during training?"

"No." Sasuke said flatly. "I felt better before."

It was Naruto's turn to pout, which the hidden trio had to admit, was pretty good. It was obviously well rehearsed; the bottom lip slipping out just slightly and blue eyes becoming more open and pleading, almost like a forbidden fountain on a muggy summer's day.

"But, I like being able to walk normal! I don't like it when my back feels crooked and crappy."

Kiba wandered just what the hell the two rivals/arch enemies were discussing; Neji was currently hoping that the perverse and just all around weird idea that had rolled into his head was not taking place in front of him; and Shino simply stared.

"I don't understand why you have to keep pounding and pounding when I tell you 'hay, that hurts, bastard'. I know my limit." Stated Naruto, strolling over to a tree to curiously pick at something.

Sasuke watched his bubbly teammate, scowling. "If that damn fox would stop healing you every month, then maybe it wouldn't hurt so much."

"You know I have no control over—hay!" Naruto suddenly chirped, picking something off the tree he was under and rushing back to his rival ,his palm bandying the mysterious object that not even Neji at the distance could make out. Sasuke looked far from enthusiastic at the discovery.

Naruto peeped eagerly, bouncing on his heels. "Look! Isn't it neat? Isn't it-"

"A Cicada shell." Sasuke finished limply, swatting the crunchy outer-skeleton out of Naruto's hand.

"Hay, bastard! I wanted to keep that!"

"It's gross. Stop picking things up."

"It was not gross! It was cool!"

After the previous unsettling and quite befuddling conversation, the trio was almost relieved to hear them bickering again. Sasuke was, once again, playing it cool and simply staring calmly at Naruto, whom was so flustered he looked ready to punch him.

"Teme! I've never seen a real one before and-"

"You know, they die a month after they leave their exoskeleton."

Naruto's furious demeanor departed swiftly. His eyes widened and gawked at his teammate in disbelief, a poignant innocence splashing over his face.

"No…"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Yes."

Naruto gazed down at his vacant hand.

"That's not very long." He whispered, closing and opening his palm.

"No," Sasuke answered, "It's not."

Plopping unceremoniously to the ground, Naruto sat cross-legged picking idly at the grass with his fingers.

"You know," Naruto began softly, "they're saying there's a ghost in the village."

Sasuke slowly sat down next to his friend and Naruto instantly leaned his head on his shoulder. The trio disregarded the fact this was definitely not teammate behavior; they were far too intrigued with the lively blonde's sudden dismal atmosphere.

"Yes, but I don't believe any of that and neither should you." Sasuke stated resolutely, leaning his head against Naruto's wild spikes.

"But, people would only become ghosts if they had regrets in their life or they were unhappy, right?"

"Only if they existed."

"Well then doesn't it make you think?" Naruto suddenly looked up and instilled Sasuke with a watery, azure gaze.

"About?"

"Death." The blonde's eyes began to dampen, making them swirl and glimmer like a briny tide pool. "What if I died and left you behind? What-What if you died? -And left me alone again?"

"That's not going to happen." Sasuke confidently declared, finding his partner's hand in the grass and covering it firmly with his own.

"But if it does—Would you come back for me? Would you become a ghost…for me?"

The wind grazed the sunset leaves with gentle fingers, combing sweetly through both the boy's hair and twisting accusingly around the veiled trio; imposters in this sad, tender moment.

"Of course."

Naruto abruptly jumped up, his face blazing bright red,blantantlyashamed of hisweakly question,and moved back to the tree. The trio watched curiously as he returned the brown Cicada shell wordlessly to the bark.

"I'm still scared, you bastard. I don't know why, but I am. I mean, everyone is saying this ghost scream like he's in pain or something." He shivered. "He could be here right now."

Sasuke walked silently behind his teammate and draped his arms around his shoulders. Shifting forward, his chest resting boldly against Naruto's back, he purred into his ear.

"Why don't I relieve you of those anxieties?"

It clicked. To Shino, Neji and Kiba, everything just seemed to slide into place. Their odd, always-tense behavior towards one another; their perpetual bickering; the fact they were never apart—The jagged pieces melded into the big, surreal picture. The trio became suddenly uncomfortable and aware that they were pretty much trapped—the slightest movement would echo through the quiet, dark forest like an orchestra. They wordlessly prayed for the ghost to appear and begin wailing so they could make their swift escape before, well, Sasuke decided to make Naruto feel better.

"Sasuke!" Naruto belted, squirming underneath his heavy arms. "I told you I liked dreaming, damnit! Also, my ass still hurts—damn, damn,damn,dam—"

His rant was silenced quickly by an expertly placed kiss on his neck. That was one of his numerous vulnerable spots, along with the soft skin underneath his knee and his belly. Just lightly touching those susceptible areas banished Naruto into a blessed silence.

"Naruto," Sasuke hissed, one unyielding hand trailing down to the hem of his t-shirt and slipping underneath. Fingers pursued Naruto's supple belly, while the blonde boy was left biting his lip against the moans that hacked at his teeth.

"Hn." Sasuke retreated from his neck to the tender shell of the blonde's ear. "I don't understand why you're trying to hold back. I think your screams are beautiful."

"Nnn-Shut up, teme…I'm afraid —nnn—someone will hear me." Naruto scarcely compelled the words to skid out from his mouth without yelling.

It was true, he was a screamer. He had lived devoid of any human contact for so long that even the slightest tepid touch made him howl with delight. The feeling of having someone—anyone there to hold him and care enough to make him feel…The feeling made him want to shed glad tears, but since he would never let Sasuke see him cry (well, maybe one day if the bastard stayed nice) he hollered instead.

Nuzzling his teammate, Sasuke smirked and murmured with deliberate slowness. "Didn't I say I was going to relieve you of your worries?"

A hand quickly plunged beneath the orange waistband and Naruto gasped.

"Sasuke, no—Ahhhhhh!"

The screaming had begun. An intense, but very familiar and welcomed tingly fire swam through Naruto's viens as the Uchiha heir touched what only he could touch, while his other hand rubbed his sensitive belly. Howls erupted in the voiceless, dim forest, ripping the serene quiet into tatters.

Naruto was close, very close and Sasuke, being the all-knowing asshole that he was, pulled his hand away. The screams abruptly halted as the blonde turned his head around, supported only by the arms at his waist, and glared.

"Stop being a damn jerk!" He panted, attempting to ignore the fact that in a miniscule way…he was begging for more.

"Hn." His dark-haired partner leered. "I've been pretty nice up until now, and I'm still being called a jerk? Well, I guess I have to show you what a real jerk would do."

Suddenly, he was slammed into the tree in front of him and his pants were tugged effectively down, collecting at his feet like an orange puddle. Naruto hissed at the abrupt chill that raced his under parts. Feeling something definitely hard at his backside, he squirmed.

"Sasuke—You bastard—I told you I liked dream—Ahhhhh!"

Sasuke pounded and pounded and pounded and Naruto screamed and screamed and screamed.

A couple of miles away, a man with a loose comb over clutched his two quivering, sobbing children close to him. They buried their faces into his shirt and bawled feverously.

"The ghost is going to eat us! It's going to eat us!"

This was awkward, Tsunade acknowledged, very awkward. How was she supposed to administrate this situation? What was she supposed to say? Anger seemed her best bet—even if she was more surprised then furious.

"Just what the hell do you think you were doing?" She questioned, scowling at the two ghosts. Naruto shifted his weight anxiously from foot to foot, blushing so terribly his face appeared to be on fire. Sasuke, on the other hand, stared evenly at the fuming woman. His lips released a haughty smirk.

He answered. "Making Naruto feel better."

Tsunade felt her own cheeks burn as she glanced over at Naruto, who was uncharacteristically quiet and flushing brightly. She looked away. What was she supposed to say? 'Don't do it again?'

Damn, this was awkward.

The ghost and his awful screams never disappeared from the village, however, now instead of invoking fear and uncertainty, they made people slightly nervous and talk louder. Ms. Who's-it and Ms. What's-her-face had a habit of slurping their coffee very noisily when the howls erupted and a certain man with a certain comb over moved farther into the city and purchased several earplugs.

Needless to say, this was the only ghost around without regrets, but probably the first with a terrible backache.

Eeeeee! I tried, but I just can't do smut. Please don't hate me for the names 's-it and whatever—They're really not their names…Their just um, statements of the elderly population's discrimination and gossip-ness. Forgive the grammar too—it chokes me at night until I can barely breathe. I love thy, review please!

-Jane.