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Author of 101 Stories |
What's Good For You
By: Hitokiri Muse
Rated: T
Summary: Based on the Blue October song "Hate Me." Sasuke has always been cold to Sakura, but does he have a reason? Suicide attempt.
Warnings: Usage of alcohol, suicide attempt, and that's pretty much it. I'm using vodka in this story, which I'm not entirely sure they had, artistic license if you will. They are all about 15 in this fic.
I don't own Naruto or Blue October's "Hate Me" !
Sasuke crouched further against the tree, pressing his back against the trunk. His black eyes watched the pink-haired girl walk past the tree he was currently hiding in. As she went out of his sight he sighed, leaping down from the tree.
Stuffing his hands in his pockets, the raven-haired started to walk into the trees. As the dark closed in his heart grew heavy again. He really didn't want to push Sakura away. He wanted her to comfort him because he needed that comfort. Sure he was putting on the strong façade, but on the inside, no one is perfectly emotionless.
He looked up at the darkening sky, sighing again. He was so confused. His heart was floundering, searching for a rock to hold onto in the storm of his withheld emotions. Sasuke knew that he couldn't go much longer with out that rock; he was losing his focus on the world around him.
Leaping into a nearby tree, the boy pulled a bottle from his pocket. He stared at it for a long time, wondering, thinking. 'Vodka…' he thought, turning the bottle in his hands. 'Would I really go that far?'
He knew that alcohol was low, and he knew that it was weakness. He wasn't weak… but would it really be that bad? Was a few hours respite from this painful loneliness that plagued him really too much to ask for? All he wanted was a rest. He had seen drunks before, they looked so carefree. That was what he wanted.
Sasuke pried the bottle open, letting the cap drop away from him to hit the ground. He watched the open bottle for a moment more, wrinkling his nose at the smell of the alcohol. Placing the rim to his lips, he hesitated, and then threw his head back, taking a gulp of the acid-like drink.
The liquid burned the whole way down, but Sasuke knew that it was better to get as much down as you could at once. At least, that's what adults tended to do.
Sasuke finally lowered the bottle from his lips when he started to feel all warm. He rubbed at his eyes; everything was a little fuzzy.
The bottle hanging limply from his grasp, Sasuke leaned against the trunk of the tree he was sitting in. He took another swig of vodka, wincing slightly at the burn. It was starting to fade anyway. As the alcohol continued to grip his mind, he allowed his thoughts to wander.
He was alone. He had no one. His clan had been killed, he was the last one. He had been searching for Itachi, but to no avail. And in the meantime, he was disliked and discriminated by boys because of his talent, and pestered by brainless girls.
And that one girl, the one that he could never have. Sasuke sighed, taking another drink from the nearly half-empty bottle. Sakura, the pink-haired beauty. She was kind, smart, beautiful, strong-willed, everything Sasuke loved. She was even things he was not, happy, bubbly, social. She was in many ways his opposite, and yet his match.
But he could never have her. She didn't know what it was to love him. He couldn't give her what she wanted from life. She probably wanted a home, a loving, kind husband, maybe even a few kids.
Sure, he would love her, but he wanted to avenge his clan. He would never be around. She would hate him; never want to see him again.
And with that thought, the alcohol mugging through his system, Sasuke lost sight of his reason to live. He forgot that his clan cried for vengeance, he forgot all in the realization that he could never have his angel.
The raven-haired boy groaned, slowly leaning to the side to fall from the branch. He hit the ground with a thud, the over half-empty vodka bottle rolling away from him. His stomach rebelled at the sharp movements, and he nearly lost his meager breakfast on the grass. He sat up, pulling a kunai from its hidden place and bring it up to level it at his chest. Without another thought he pulled it towards himself.
Gentle hands stopped him, pulling him back. The kunai was pulled from his hands, and he opened tear-filled dark eyes to stare into seafoam-green ones. "S-Sakura…"
"How can you do this to me?" she whispered. "How could you think to do this?"
He looked away from her, silent. After a moment he spoke sullenly, his voice slurred from the alcohol. "I can't… Can't give you what you want."
Sakura blinked. "What are you talking about?" She suddenly wrinkled her nose. "Are you drunk, Sasuke?"
He didn't respond, only pointed towards the fallen vodka bottle. Sakura picked it up, and then gasped. "Did you drink all of this? You're going to hurt yourself Sasuke!"
He nodded slowly. "I know." He suddenly looked up. "Why did you stop me?"
She frowned, kneeling beside him again and putting a hand on his shoulder. "Because I love you Sasuke. I didn't want you to hurt yourself." Her voice shook as she spoke, but she remained steady.
Sakura was surprised to see him frown. "But I can't give you what you want." Sakura sighed. With Sasuke drunk, he wasn't his usual calculating self. "And what do I want Sasuke?"
"A family. A home, a good husband," he said steadily, his eyes flicking up to make contact with hers. "I want to avenge my clan, to rebuild it."
She put a hand against his face, wiping away the single tear that fell. "I want those things, yes. But I believe you would be a wonderful husband, a wonderful father. If you want to rebuild your clan, so be it. I want lots of children, lots of babies just like their father; kind, sweet, and selfless."
Sasuke bottom lip was sucked in as he struggled to hold up his dam of emotions. Sighing, Sakura pulled the raven-haired boy into her arms, ignoring his gasp. He struggled weakly against her hold. "Sakura…"
She shook her head, patting his back. "Cry Sasuke. Let out your pain. I will listen, and comfort you."
A tear slipped, and then another. They fell, and as they came faster Sasuke lost the power to hold them back.
He clutched at the Sakura's waist and sobbed, his years of pain, loneliness, and anguish finally pouring out of him through tears.
And through it all, Sakura held him, whispering comforts.
"I don't understand…" Sasuke murmured.
Sakura down into his coal-dark eyes. "Understand what?"
"You're supposed to hate me," the boy said. "I'm not good for you, I can't make you happy."
Sakura sighed, placing gentle fingers beneath his chin and lifting his face. "You can make me happy, and you have, ever since I met you those years ago. I would never want to lose you Sasuke, I love you too much.
Sasuke reached up slowly, his fingers ghosting over her cheek. She leaned into his touch, closing her seafoam-green eyes. "Stay with me…" he whispered. "Please don't leave me."
"I never plan to," the girl said with a smile. She stood, pulling him up with her. "Now come, we need to get you home. You're going to be a bear in the morning after all that alcohol."
He followed her fuzzily, his vision blurring. He rubbed at his eyes, and then reached to grab Sakura's hand as he stumbled.
With a smile she pulled his arm over her shoulders, wrapping an arm around his waist. He leaned against her tiredly, closing his eyes and allowing her to lead him through the night.
A tiny giggle was akin to a hammer smashing against his head, and he clutched at his head. "Do you want some painkillers Sasuke?"
"Oh, my head…"
Sakura giggled again, watching the lump beneath the blankets. "It's your own fault Sasuke, for drinking all that alcohol."
She watched the boy push himself up, a hand over his eyes. "Man, what hit me?"
"Yourself."
Sasuke started to get up, and then clapped a hand over his mouth and ran to the bathroom. Sakura sighed, picking up a glass of water and the pills on the side table. She patted Sasuke's back as he emptied his stomach. He sat back after a moment, and Sakura handed him the glass. He rinsed his mouth, and then took the pills that the girl handed him.
Sakura helped him to a chair, watching as he put an arm over his eyes. "What happened Sakura?"
"You got drunk. You tried to kill yourself," the kunochi murmured, her eyes closing. "You scared me Sasuke."
The raven-haired boy was staring at her in shock. "I tried to… kill myself?" He looked down, blinking. "Why would I do that?"
"I'm really not sure Sasuke," she murmured looking back up at him. "All I know is you kept saying that you couldn't make me happy."
Sasuke's eyes were wide, and he was staring at her with wide dark eyes. "How…" He looked down.
She touched his face, lifting his chin. "Why are you sad Sasuke?" she whispered. "Don't you remember what happened at all? Is that it?"
"I remember emotion. I was so lonely, so alone," the boy murmured. "The sense of defeat. That was the main feeling. And then… relief. I felt like, something had been lifted from my shoulders." He reached up to touch his cheek. "Wetness… I was crying."
"Sasuke?"
He looked up at her. "You were there. I remember your touch. You… you held me…"
Sakura stroked her thumb across his cheek. With his headache, Sasuke was out of it. She could see exhaustion evident in his coal black eyes, and she was relishing how open he was being.
The pink-haired girl gathered her courage. "Sasuke, you know that I love you. I love you and it will never change. I know you want to avenge your clan, I know you want to rebuild it. I don't care." She leaned forward, pressing his lips to his forehead. "I will always love you."
Strong arms encircled her waist, keeping her close to Sasuke's body. She allowed him to bury his face in her shoulder, stroking his raven hair.
"Thank you…" Sasuke whispered, tightening his arms around her.
She smiled. "You are good for me Sasuke, no matter what you say. Don't ever think anything different."
"I… I love you Sakura," the boy murmured, his breath ghosting over her collarbone.
She smiled, resting her lips against his hair. "I love you too Sasuke."