Okay, this kept appearing and reappearing, so i deleted it and reuploaded it... hope it works now:)

Epilogue

7 months later…

The sunlight beat down on the back of his neck, shining brightly as he made his way through the newly cut grass, weaving his way mechanically around the various stones and markers. The calming silence filled his ears, spoilt only by the sound of the birds and trees, leaves blowing in the wind as nature went about it's daily business, a sense of indifference towards the rest of the world. A lack of interest he found himself empathising with more often as of late, withdrawing into his own world, caring about one person and one person only, Sam. A car alarm went off in the distance, the grating noise breaking the idyllic mood, the sound jolting his mind from the present and back into a memory he'd tried his hardest to repress.

Yet another dash to the hospital, this time without the urgent flashing lights, racing like the wind down the hospital corridors, bursting into his room to see the flat line spike tentatively on the monitor. A small spike of hope in the midst of all the despair, one that he'd clung to long after the machine had been turned off for good. After that first flat line, Sam had never regained consciousness, the ventilator and life support machine constantly reminding Dean of this as he sat vigilantly by his brother's bedside, his hatred for the machine going beyond that of the grudge he held against that bothersome fabric softener teddy bear.

Two days later and Sam had still been clinging onto life, his condition critical yet stable as Dean sat anxiously next to him, never letting go of Sam's hand, not moving or eating, feeling his own energy deplete and drain as his brother's did the same in the next bed. After a fraught seventy two hours, Sam had finally lost his fight for life, the ventilator and life support crashing at the same time, and despite the valiant efforts of the medical staff, the ominous red line hadn't wanted to let up.

Now cutting along the gravel path, he could still picture the thin line of blood trickling down his brother's chin as his organs simultaneously cut out, the pressure of the internal bleeding finally taking it's toll on his already fragile body. Those few minutes afterwards had been the worst in his life, screaming murderously at the doctors to bring Sam back before collapsing down onto the floor, sobbing inconsolably in front of complete strangers. Much after that had been hazy at best, the sedation causing him to slip in and out of consciousness every few hours, his waking hours spent silently mourning his brother whilst his extensive periods of sleep spent screaming out Sam's name.

The funeral had passed without a hitch, him spending the majority of his time supporting a devastated Maddie, everything finally coming down on her as the past week had been spent arranging Sam's funeral, after he had refused point blank to do it, instead retreating into his own world where his brother was still alive and the girl he loved was still his girl, and his alone. He couldn't believe that Sam was gone, and even now, seven months later, he still refused to believe it until he embarked on his weekly pilgrimage to his brother's grave, seeking solace in a headstone that provided him with nothing but grief.

The only ray of hope emerging from the whole mess had been given to him by the doctors, the possibility that Sam's injuries might not have been made worse by his vicious attack. Yet despite this, his conscience still wasn't clear. There was that word, might, and the chance that he had been the cause after all, but he wasn't going to let his brother's body be violated any longer, preferring a lifetime of uncertainty over the consequences of a post mortem. There was a big difference between thinking and knowing you were the cause of your brother's death, and he'd take the former over the latter any day, favouring beating himself up over not knowing than beating himself up over the truth. Course beating himself up would never take away his guilt over Sam's death, yet it did make him feel slightly better knowing that he was suffering too.

Not that he was the only one suffering from all of this. For the first few months, Maddie had been completely despondent, never speaking, spending all of her time sitting and sleeping, and he had been too wrapped up in his own morbid thoughts to notice. In those early days, he'd use that ominous piece of paper found in the trash as his excuse for not caring, for simply retreating back into his own world as if nothing was wrong. But now he knew that was no reason for his actions, that instead that piece of paper had pulled him back from the brink, making him realise he wasn't the only one in turmoil. Sam… I should've known… Yet now he knew, he didn't want to put a bullet in his head or run away like the scared little boy he was inside; he wanted to stay and protect the only family he had left, blood relatives or not. So he stayed, pushing all of his anguish and grief to the secret place in the back of his mind, instead taking care of the woman he found himself falling in love with all over again.

Dean paused as he cut across the grass, swivelling on his heels and finally facing the place he could be true to himself and let out all of his sorrow, under the ever watchful eyes of his brother. Maddie had adamantly refused the picture, but he had insisted, almost reducing her to tears to get his own way yet now knowing that he had been right, that looking at the picture was much better than glancing down at the dirt, knowing that Sam's body was being eaten away six feet under.

Fixing his gaze on Sam's picture, he could already feel the tears burning in his eyes as he hovered anxiously at the edge of the plot, glancing sideways as he always did to his parents graves, sending them a silent missive of remembrance. He thought this was just going to be a normal trip, sobbing at his brother's grave until he could cry no more, but something was different. He wanted to cry, he wanted to grieve, yet he also wanted to talk, something he prayed and hoped was a sign of finally accepting.

"Hey Sammy… Sorry I haven't been here for a couple of weeks, but I bet you were glad having no-one tearing up your plot for a change?" Dean laughed, closing his eyes and taking in deep breaths, letting the cool breeze tease and jostle him around. "I've been busy… with baby stuff, you know?" He slapped his hand to his forehead, cursing himself. "Course you don't know…you never got chance to…"

He looked up from the headstone and out over the grass, watching indifferently at a funeral procession now making it's way down the winding cemetery road, before turning back to his brother. "That's what I came to tell you Sammy, you have a son… a little baby boy, Sam, and god… he's so beautiful." He bit down on his lip, his voice shaking as he blinked back the tears, knowing he wouldn't be able to hold them back forever. "W-We named him Sam, after you of course…a bit chick flicky I know, but I blame the girl…" He smiled, shrugging helplessly and shaking his head in mock despair. "I can tell he's going to look just like you, he already has that damn mess of hair coming along… He has her eyes though, those cute baby blues… If he doesn't break any hearts with those eyes, I'll be bitterly disappointed. But hey, maybe I'll teach him some of my old Dean magic, what do you think?" He laughed teasingly, yet the smile never reached his still teary eyes. "But I'll look after him Sammy, I promise… I'll be good, I'll make sure he studies, looks after himself… And as soon as he's old enough, he'll know about you, I swear…"

Suddenly he could hold it in no longer and the floodgates opened, the tears rolling down his cheeks as he gazed down at his brother's smiling and happy face. "God Sammy, I'm so sorry… this is all my fault… if it hadn't been for me, you'd be alive, you'd be with your son… and I… I…" He faltered, his mind again settling on the calming feel of the .9mm against his temple, shuddering as even the memory of it made him feel mortified. "I… I wouldn't be here."

Dean sighed, brushing the tears from his cheeks and glanced away from his brother, waiting patiently until he'd managed to bring his emotions under control, breathing heavily. "Sam, I know I never told you this, and hell, I wasn't planning on doing so, but I guess I just need to get this out… Remember when I told you if the baby was yours, I'd leave and never come back? Well… leaving wasn't quite what I had in mind…" He reached into his inside pocket, pulling his .9mm out and holding it lovingly in his hands. "I was going to put this to my temple, an end to everything… I'd considered it before, this would've been no different… But how could I do it to Maddie, Sam? How could I leave her and your kid, in a world where they'd never be truly safe? I couldn't live with myself Sam, knowing that I was leaving them alone…" He was angry at himself for even considering such desperate actions, now looking to his brother for forgiveness, though knowing that a picture would never be able to give him any kind of pardon.

Scowling, he shoved his gun back in his pocket and collapsed on the grass next to his brother's headstone, his eyes wandering helplessly over the inscription, smiling at the word 'father', a word he'd insisted must be on there. His thoughts kept jumping from topic to topic, as disjointed as his monologue, yet knowing he had to get everything out before he clammed up again, refusing to talk. "You know, I'm thinking of becoming a fire-fighter…" He smiled, his eyes clouding over as his mind drifted back two years ago when he finally got to wear the uniform he'd dreamt about for years as a child. "Yeah, unbelievable isn't it? Me, giving up the demon hunting life to become a regular Joe…Months ago, having a normal life would've killed me. But now, the thing I look forward to most is getting home and having Maddie ask me "How was your day, dear?" The normal things you know…" Another small smile formed on his lips, himself unbelieving that he'd ever hear himself admit such a thing. "And besides, you get paid for fire-fighting."

Dean laughed, pulling a bag of peanut M&Ms out of his pocket and munching happily on them. "Maddie's even thinking of going back to school in a year or so, finishing her degree and going to law school…" He paused, pulling something else out of his pocket, a small dusty blue box, one he thought he'd never need again. "Can I tell you a secret?" He opened the box, a small diamond ring shining back at him, a ring he'd spent countless hours presiding over months ago, worried that it wouldn't be perfect. "I'm going to ask Maddie to marry me soon. Not yet, but soon… I was going to a.. a… while ago, but well, I never got round to it…" His smile faltered as he remembered that horrible, fretful day in the hospital. "You think she'll say yes?" He couldn't be sure, but he could've sworn he'd heard Sam's voice whisper in his ear…Of course she will, you know it… she loves you… "You never know, in a few years time, we could be the Winchester family, a trainee lawyer and a fire-fighter, with not a demon in sight. Wouldn't that be something?"

Sighing, he put the ring and bag of M&Ms back into his pocket and stood up, brushing the dirt from the seat of his jeans. "Sorry Sammy, but I've got to go… bet you'll be glad to see the back of me!" He laughed, the tears brimming in his eyes again as he turned to walk away. "You know when I said I'd be the one to bury you? Well I never meant it, Sam, I never wanted it to be true… But here we are, I'm alive and you're down there, just doesn't seem fair does it?" He shut his eyes, aware of the tears slowly spilling his cheeks yet unwilling to brush them away. "Remember that night back in the cabin, with the Demon? He was right, Sam… I do need you, more than you ever needed me… I'm lost without you Sam, you and Dad…" He choked back a sob, biting back down on his lip again to resist crying out. "I just don't know what to do anymore, Sammy."

He looked expectantly down at his brother, waiting for an answer that he thought would never come. Have you ever thought there's people now who need you more than ever? Maddie, baby Sammy… they need you, and they always will… In time, you might even need them too… Sam's voice echoed in his head, and although he knew it was simply the voice of his conscience finding some way to get it's views across, he really wanted to believe that this was how Sam felt. Sam had always been his voice of reason, and maybe he always would… Yeah, maybe he always will be… You've been searching for ways to cling onto him, maybe this is your answer…

At first he scoffed at the idea, but he knew that voice was right… the voice was always right. That small, sensible side in him, the shy and retiring man he rarely was… that was Sam in a nutshell. He smiled, finally accepting that this was one way he and his brother would always stay in touch, a way in which Sam would always be alive… inside him. His conscience, that voice of reason and sense… maybe he hadn't lost his little brother after all.

Cheering a little, he wiped the tears from his face and took one last look at his brother's smiling and happy face. "Love you, Sammy… see you next week."

And as he turned away, walking back across the grass and gravel path, he could've sworn he'd heard I love you too floating back to him on the wind.

"Sam!" Dean gasped, sitting bolt upright in the bed, bathed in sweat with the bedcovers twisted around his torso.

"Dean?"

He looked down at his side into a pair of sleepy blue eyes, smiling gently as he brushed the hair from her face and lay back down next to her. He ran an appreciative eye over her body, pulling her too him, breathing in her familiar smell as he put his arms protectively around her. Most of her physical scars had now faded, but he knew the emotional ones were still eating away at her, haunting her every move. No matter how hard he tried to protect her from whatever life threw at her, he'd never be able to save her from herself.

"You have another nightmare?" He could hear the tiredness and sleep in her voice, feeling a twinge of guilt for waking her from the little sleep she managed to catch.

"Yeah."

"You okay?"

He didn't know how to answer this. How could he tell her that every time he woke up, he wished he was somewhere else? In a motel room somewhere, waking up to see that Sam was lying in the next bed, alive and healthy, ready for whatever demon would come their way. Then Sam's voice piped up in the back of his mind… Stop thinking that, you know it won't come true… you need to move on Dean, get your life back…go be a fire-fighter, do what makes you happy… I'm not saying forget me, just realise that I'm never coming back…I'll forgive you for moving on Dean, in fact, I want you to…Just promise me that you'll be happy and look after that family of ours… "I don't know, but I think I will be." He kissed Maddie gently on the forehead, sighing happily as he felt the weight of her head lying on his chest, the sound of her breathing soothing him in a way his never could.

Now closing his eyes, he pressed his head back against the pillow and mouthed a silent "I promise" to the room, smiling as the voice in his head gave it's nod of approval and finally lay silent.

The. End.

So bizarre saying those words after spending so much time on this.

All i can say is that i hope you like this ending, as always, please let me know what you think! And i'm going to say a HUGE thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed and all of your support during this. It means more than i can say!

Thank you, so very much...

- Sarah