Hooray. Here we have the weirdest idea for a fanfic I have ever had ever. Yay! And, yes, it was inspired by Guys and Dolls! WHEE!

This will be told mainly from Naruto's perspective in first person, with some of Sasuke's first person perspective, and normal third-person.

Orochimaru only appears in the prologue, but is mentioned several other times. He just fits into this fic so easily. And I made up his last name. It means Poisonous Snake.

My chapters will be short at first. I'm sorry. They will get longer over time, though.

So... I'll get on with it now.

Summary: Naruto Uzumaki is a chronic gambler. He's the god of the casino scene. But hardly anyone can see past the perfectly structured poker face. He is feared because of that. He has no friends, excluding Kiba Inuzuka, his first friend, and a few other friends. Kiba strongly opposes Naruto's gambling, but can do nothing about it. But Naruto's life comes crashing down after he loses most of his money in a bet over a crap game. Enter Uchiha Sasuke, New York's Number one therapist. Can he get through to Naruto and help get his life back on track?

Pairings: (Definite)Eventual Naruto x Sasuke, Kiba x Gaara, and Kakashi x Ayame. Possible Sakura x Lee or Sakura x Ino, Maybe some Ino x Shikamaru, too. Tell me/vote on which of the possible pairings you like And I'll make them final. Request others and I'll see what I can do.

Warnings: Alcohol use, perhaps drug abuse, illegal gambling, many adult situations (NO LEMONS!), lime-ish-ness, AU, OOCness, Shounen-Ai, Het, Foul language, Possible Shoujo-Ai, and lots of suggestive content. (Wow. That's a lot of warnings.)

Rating:M for above warnings.

Genres: Romance, Angst, Drama, with humorous sprinkles here and there.

Setting: Various places, mainly an office in NYC, New York.

Disclaimer: Do you honestly think I own the Naruto series? If you do you are one seriously whacked-out, crazed-up fruit loop.

But There is Room for Doubt

At Times you Have a Very Unladylike

Way of Running Out.

"What?"

"SHIT!"

"DAMMIT! I bet a thousand on that roll!"

"Same with me!"

I was speechless, unlike my 'friends' who were seated around me, practically in tears. Did that just happen? Was that for real?

"I guess I won our little bet, eh Uzumaki?" The gloating voice of the bastard standing nearby chilled me to the bone.

"I guess you did, Orochimaru," I said lifelessly. I handed him a slip of paper, an IOU. If I didn't follow through with that IOU, I was dead where I stood. "I'll send the check over tomorrow 'round noon."

"Excellent," He hissed, narrowing his almost reptilian eyes. Why the fuck did I ever make that bet? I could've won an easy twenty-five thousand. But it was stupid of me. I was drunk. And now every cent I own is gone. Lady Luck just dumped me for that snake.

I gathered up my dice, kicking aside a few other gamblers before stiffly walking to the place I couldn't call my home anymore. The apartment was no longer mine. I was gonna have to sell it, seeing as I had no money to pay rent and other bills.

I bet you're confused, huh? That sucks for you. But just to clear some things up, I'll explain a bit.

My name is Naruto Uzumaki. I used to be the God of Gambling. Luck was always on my side. I never lost a bet. Never. Until that fateful day I made a bet with Orochimaru Dokuhebi.

I was drunk, and that jerk slithered into the bar just as I was getting ready to leave. He started talking to me. I knew that he was the second best crap shooter in NYC. I knew he was envious of me for having such good luck. So he decided he was gonna test my luck. He bet twenty-five thousand dollars that I would lose a simple dice roll. I, being smashed to the extreme, accepted. I was sure my fortune was gonna double. Boy, was I wrong.

After losing that roll, my life went downhill. But they always say every grey cloud's got a silver lining. And I now believe that no hill goes straight down forever. My help getting back uphill came in the form of some therapist with bad people skills. Why he was a guidance counselor, which is a very people-oriented job, and not some reclusive artist or whatever is beyond me.

But before I go into the matter of that weirdo, I've got some more to explain. Like why I'm living comfortably with people I love 'stead of out on the streets. That's thanks to my first and best friend, Kiba Inuzuka, and my father-figure, Kakashi Hatake.

After walking off to collect my few belongings and filling out the stupid check, I had left the apartment, explaining to my landlord what had happened before I left. He let me go right along. He's a pretty good friend of mine, and was pretty lenient because he knew about my problem. He didn't seem to have a problem with it, seeing as he had gone through it. But we did have a long talk about it that involved quite a few "I hope you learned your lesson" scoldings. I love that guy like a father. And I love his wife like a mother. Kakashi Hatake and Ayame Hatake are sort of like my adoptive parents. I was an orphan most of my childhood, and was taken in by a young couple without children of their own. I lived with them until I turned eighteen.

You're probably wondering what the fuck they have to do with my current situation. They don't have any relevance to the subject at hand. I got sidetracked.

My best friend, Kiba, has been my friend since third grade, when I started real school. Ayame had been home-schooling me up until that point. He said hi, I said hi, and we instantly bonded. He's the only other person besides Kakashi who knows about my addiction. And my gambling buddies? They think I do it for fun. But that's beside the point.

Kiba had always protested my gambling. But he never did a thing to stop me. At times, I wish he did. But what's done is done, and at least my problem's gone for good now.

Well, after "moving out," I turned to the first place on my list – Kiba's three-bedroom loft. Kakashi and Ayame lived in a spacious two-bedroom apartment, but the other room was occupied by Sakura Haruno, their adopted daughter. I was welcomed to Kiba's place with open arms, but was scolded for being a complete idiot after explaining why I was there. But everybody took this better than I thought. I thought I was going to be screamed at. I guess they knew it was going to happen sooner or later and had prepared for it. I was the definition of pitiful during those times.

But it was the day that Kiba brought up therapy for my addiction that altered my life forever. When I agreed (which took nearly four hours of being scolded, yelled at, and persuaded), I had just set my future in stone. But I had no idea about that. I just knew that I was getting much-needed help. And I cried myself to sleep that night, finally discarding my poker face. I cried in relief and fear. I knew that it was goin to be tough breaking my habit, but I was ready. But I was terrified, as well. Terrified of opening up. Not even Kiba knew what was locked away in my heart. But I was determined to break the habit, and once I realized that, I didn't care if I had to open up. And that's how it all began. With my newly found determination and confidence, I would beat my addiction and begin a new life. That was my resolution. My new dream. And nothing can stop Naruto Uzumaki from achieving his dream.

And there we have it. The really short prologue. Yay. Review and you will receive plushies, cookies, cake, and many other delightful things.