Previously on Final Fantasy 8 – Balamb Garden vs. Galbadia Garden…

Squall: I’m going to call you…Wilson.

Irvine: You’re mad.

Squall: Go search for food over there Wilson! I’ll search for food over here. (Throws Wilson over a cliff and than leaves)

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Xu: Status report!

Engineer: We’re dead.

Xu: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

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Laguna: (Maniacal laugh)

Kiros: Don’t do that.

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Vinson: What do you mean we have to go to school?

Kira: You heard me. We can’t stay in an arcade all day, we’ll fail school!

Vinson: Course we can! I mean, we’re still reading. Well, Stephanie is.

Stephanie: (Holding manga in front of her face) Uh-huh, sure.

Vinson: Anyways, what’s the worst that could happen?

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Vinson: (Behind bars) No! I’m too young to be in jail!

Kira: (In front of bars) That’s what you get for ditching school.

Stephanie: (Behind bars) Then why am I here?

Kira: Because…because…wait, why are you there?

Stephanie: Oh no, let me out! I can’t be stuck here with this…buffoon.

Vinson: (Catches on fire) Oh man. Not again. (Faints)

Kira and Stephanie: (…)

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Chapter 53 – Regroup

Squall: I’m back!

Irvine: What? You’re still alive! (Hides paper named “Squall’s will”)

Squall: Is Wilson back yet?

Irvine: No. Haven’t heard from him since.

Squall: (!) Wilson? Noooooo! I’m going to save you! (Runs toward cliff)

Irvine: (Grabs Squall) Don’t jump you crazy fool!

Squall: Jump? There’s an elevator over there.

Irvine: Elevator?

Squall: Yeah, come on!

They both on in the elevator and go down.

At a military base…

Galbadia Soldier: Finally, I have stacked all the military mattresses on top of each other. I hope no one crashes from the ceiling and messes it up.

BAM! Quistis and Stephie breaks through the ceiling and lands on the Galbadia Soldier.

Quistis: Ow. What did we land on?

Stephie: This guy! (Points to the soldier) Hey! That’s a nice pile of mattresses!

BAM! Rinoa breaks through the ceiling and lands on the pile of mattresses.

Rinoa: Oof. I missed the cookie.

Stephie: Where is it?

Rinoa: On the roof.

Stephie: Then what are we waiting for? Let’s get that cookie!

Quistis: You can’t be serious…

Stephie: For the cookie!

In an elevator…

Squall: Where are we going?

Irvine: I pressed B3, so I guess we’re going down.

Ding!

Squall: Oh, we’re here.

The door opens and a Galbadia Soldier is at the door.

Squall: Crap! (Grabs the soldier and pulls him in) Close the door!

Irvine: Ok! (Closes the door)

Squall: (Slaps gun out of Galbadia Soldier’s hand) You won’t need that.

Galbadia Soldier: Tsh, sure.

Squall: Ok, you’re going to answer our questions or else. (Cracks knuckles)

Galbadia Soldier: Or else what?

Squall: (Cracks knuckles again) Oh, you’ll see.

Irvine: Dude, how did you do that?

Squall: (Cracks knuckles again) Oh, I’m double-jointed.

Irvine: That’s annoying.

Squall: (Cracks neck) Not really.

Irvine: Yes it is.

Squall: No it isn’t. (Cracks elbow)

Irvine: Yes, it is.

Squall: No it isn’t. (Cracks jaws)

Irvine: Dude, this is wrong.

Squall: No way. (Blinks and cracks eye)

Galbadia Soldier: That is seriously wrong dude.

Squall: (Cracks knuckles again) What did you say?

Galbadia Soldier: (…)

Squall: (Cracks neck) That’s right. Now tell us what we want to know.

Irvine: (Shakes head) Stupid.

Squall: Where are we?

Galbadia Soldier: Your grave.

Squall: WRONG! (Cuts off Galbadia Soldier’s arm)

Galbadia Soldier: AHHHHHHHH!

Squall: Answer the question or you’ll lose the other!

Galbadia Soldier: We’re in…Area 51.

Irvine: (Cocks shotgun) Don’t lie. Now where are we?

Galbadia Soldier: A...lab…to mutate…monsters…

Squall: So why is the Black-Robed Stranger coming here…?

Irvine: (…)

Squall: (…)

Irvine: (…)

Squall: (…)

Irvine: (…)

Squall: (…)

Irvine: (…)

Galbadia Soldier: (Dies quietly…)

Squall: (…)

Irvine: (…)

Squall: (…)

Irvine: (…)

Squall: (…)

Irvine: (…)

Squall: (…)

Irvine: (…)

Squall: (…)

Galbadia Soldier: (Rots quietly…)

Irvine: (…)

Squall: (…)

Irvine: (…)

Squall: (…)

Irvine: (…)

Squall: What freaking button did you press?

Irvine: All I did was close the door, nothing else!

Squall: Then open the freaking door so we can get out of here! I don’t want to be stuck in here with you!

Irvine: (…)

Squall: And him!

Galbadia Soldier: (Has flies flying around decaying body)

Irvine: Yeah, good idea. (Opens door)

Several Galbadia Soldiers are standing right in front of them.

Squall: (Grabs nearest soldier and pulls him in) Close the door!

Elsewhere…

Rinoa: Admit it.

Stephie: No!

Rinoa: Admit it.

Stephie: Never!

Rinoa: Come on.

Stephie: Why?

Rinoa: Because it’s true!

Stephie: No it isn’t!

Rinoa: Yep. Absolutely true.

Stephie: No, no, no!

Rinoa: Admit it.

Stephie: FINE! We’re lost.

Rinoa: Annnnndddddd?

Stepihe: Hmph. And dogs are better than cats.

Rinoa: Ha!

Quistis: Would you two just shut up? It’s hard to picklock doors with you two screaming.

Rinoa: Hurry it up then!

Quistis: Screw it, activate Laser Eyes! (Blasts door)

Rinoa: Whoa, holy #!7.

Quistis: Yeah, it helps the time pass by in detention. Now come on!

Everyone makes their way through the door.

Rinoa: OMG! COOKIES! ()

Stephie: COOKIES! (Jumps in a pile of cookies)

Rinoa: (Goes into a pile of cookies) Quistis, these cookies are delicious! Have some!

Quistis: No thanks, I’m lactose intolerant.

Stephie: (Sticks head out of cookie pile) No, you’re just mad cause you’re fat!

Rinoa: Oooo, buurrrn.

Quistis: Shut it. I still control your semester grade!

Rinoa: Oooo, burrrrn.

Stephie: Least people like me cause I’m skinny and not wrinkly and fat!

Rinoa: Oooo, burrrrn.

Quistis: Know what Rinoa? You can burn! (Shoots beams of energy at Rinoa)

Rinoa: Uh-oh. (Ducks and evades) Ha!

The wall explodes and behind it are soldiers. They start to storm in.

Rinoa: Now look what you did!

Quistis: Only because you pissed me off!

Rinoa: Ok, that’s it girls, grab the cookies and run!

To be continued…

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Nothing…happens…

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