|The Mating Frenzy
Author: MSkyDragons PM
After the attacks by Orochimaru and the Sand, Konoha’s population is dangerously low. Desperate times call for extreme measures, and Tsunade issues a priority S class mission to every Leaf ninja: to pair off and start making babies!Rated: Fiction M - English - Humor/Parody - Naruto U. - Chapters: 33 - Words: 70,171 - Reviews: 6,829 - Favs: 4,913 - Follows: 1,998 - Updated: 11-22-07 - Published: 07-24-06 - Status: Complete - id: 3064884
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
The clock struck 7:00 p.m. all over Konoha. Right outside the gates, by the trees, were two figures.
Shikamaru stood battle ready, with his hands poised in concentration—his face finally rid of that odd smile.
Standing only a few yards off was Temari—sporting a rather pleased looking smirk on her face.
Shikamaru blinked as he saw that the blonde sand ninja had yet to pull out her fan.
"Oy," Shikamaru yelled over to her, "Aren't you going to draw your weapon?"
Temari walked a few feet closer to him, "Oh…I don't need it." Her eyes ran up and down his body.
Shikamaru relaxed his hands a bit as he shot her a confused look.
"You know, Shikamaru," Temari said playfully, stepping closer, "When I said I wanted to fight… I didn't mean 'fighting' in the conventional sense."
Temari smiled slyly, "Wanna… 'hit' me?"
She winked at him.
Once he caught her drift, Shikamaru nearly fell over.
But, it didn't matter. He was going to be on his back in a few seconds anyway.
Chapter 11 – "Sunset to sunrise…"
And once again on all the busy little ninja of Konoha, night turned into day, and the sun rose.
Shikamaru paused a moment and leaned against the side of the gate. His face was red—a few beads of sweat were running down his head, and a few stands of hair were sticking out wildly. He was breathing rather loudly.
"Some week you've been having."
Shikamaru's eyes went wide as he turned to his side to look at the source of the voice.
Chouji was munching on a rather large bag of popcorn.
A certain pink haired ninja was strolling down the street, looking at her feet as she went.
"So…hungry," she said.
Sakura looked up and scanned the area for a suitable place to eat breakfast.
Suddenly she spotted Ino.
"Oh, hell…" Sakura cursed, quickly moving to hide her face from Ino with her hand.
It failed miserably.
"Ooooooh, Saaaaaakuraaaaa!" Ino yelled, having seen Sakura, "Come heeeeeere!"
Ino smirked as she saw Sakura flinch.
Sakura trudged slowly—oh so slowly and painfully—over to take a seat by Ino at the food stand.
Sakura's mouth twitched. Ino bumped her shoulder playfully.
"Tell me aaaaall about Sasuke." Ino stated with an evil air.
Sakura gritted her teeth.
(Flashback to the previous night)
Sakura squealed with excitement as she knocked on Sasuke's door. And knocked and knocked and knocked and knocked.
"SASUKE!" Sakura yelled in a sing-song way.
Unbeknownst to her, Sasuke was right on the other side of the door, twitching ever so slightly in contemplation.
"Open the door? Not open the door?" He pondered, "Open the door? Not open the door?"
"No." He furrowed his brow and closed his eyes, "I…must…be…manly."
Sasuke opened the door so quickly that Sakura flew into his arms.
Sakura blushed and looked up into his eyes. Sasuke quickly pushed her away.
"H-hi, Sasuke!" Sakura smiled.
"Hmph." Sasuke mumbled, going over to sit on the edge of his bed.
Sakura nearly fainted that he was heading for the bed already.
"Oh, Saaaaaasuke!" Sakura sighed, taking a seat next to him.
The Uchiha twitched, a nervous sweat drop appearing on the side of his head.
Suddenly the pink haired ninja grasped Sasuke into a hug, "I want you…so bad."
Sasuke gulped, but put on a brave face, pushing her away and laying both his hands on her shoulders, looking deep into her eyes.
"There is," Sasuke said softly, "something I must ask you…"
Sakura held her breath in anticipation, her eyes glistening all big and wide.
"…is that your natural hair color?"
"Eh?" Sakura would have fallen off the bed if not for Sasuke holding her steady.
His eyes were staring at her intently. Sakura deliberated quickly to try and figure out the best answer to the unexpected question. Just what exactly did he want to hear?
"Uh…no?" Sakura lied, "I…dyed it?"
Sasuke breathed a sigh of relief and fell onto the bed, taking Sakura with him.
"This is it!" Sakura thought as she scooted closer to him, waiting for him to make his move.
"And?" Ino questioned.
"I waited…" Sakura continued, "…and waited and waited and waited and waited."
"So, what happened?" Ino nearly screamed.
Sakura looked down at her feet, "I fell asleep."
Ino snorted, covering her mouth, trying unsuccessfully not to laugh.
Sakura's eyebrow twitched as multiple blood vessels popped up all over her forehead.
"What—what did Sasuke do after you fell asleep?" Ino asked, grinning widely.
Sakura growled at Ino slightly, "Well, he was still there when I woke up so I guess he fell asleep too."
Ino snickered, "Well, I guess now you can say that you 'slept' with Sasuke!" She said, making quote signs in the air.
Tsunade didn't have to hear Shizune's explanation to guess what happened on her desk. The Hokage simply lifted up her books and papers and pulled out a large blank scroll and spread it over the surface.
Shizune's face turned deep red as Tsunade shot her a knowing glance.
"Now, to write more letters." Tsunade said as she grabbed the stacks of lists and blank papers.
The Hokage decided to relieve Shizune of her discomfort by waving her hand to let Shizune know she was free to leave.
She all but ran out the door.
Tsunade giggled slightly as she watched her go. But then, she turned her attention to picking out some lists.
"Let's see…" Tsunade said, picking out several and beginning to write:
"Dear Shino: You are a great ninja, and I like your sunglasses. You're a great friend and teammate. Could we have dinner tonight? At your place? Love…"
"Dear Lee: You are a youthful example of ninja-ness. If you're up for it, come over to my place tonight and show me how much of a man you are. Love…"
"Dear Sasuke: I admire your greatness. I wish you were mine. If you'll be with me tonight, at your place, I promise to shut up afterward. Love…"
"Dear Shikamaru: You have a nice butt. See you tonight, at your place. Love…"
"Dear Sakura: You are the most beautiful of the lotus blossoms. Your spirit blooms more pretty than flowers. Your hair is pink like my heart that beats for you. Your love is—well I'll read more poetry to you when I meet you. At your place? Tonight? Love…"
Dear Ino: Please come see me tonight. You are a great ninja. Just don't tell anybody…"
Dear Tenten: Your hair reminds me of a princess. Would you come over to my place tonight if it's not too troublesome? Love…"
Dear Hinata: The way you breathe leaves me breathless. You are the epitome of the female specimen. Come have dinner with me tonight at my place. Love…"
Tsunade cackled to herself as she sealed the letters one by one into the envelopes.
Once finished, she dug into her drawer for something special. Finally she located and whipped out her other perfume, 'La Shinobi Piece de Resistance' and sprayed it all over the envelopes.
Tsunade kissed the bottle afterward.
"This one's even more sexy…"
Naruto was out walking casually when suddenly he saw Sasuke walking past with his usual head-up-the-butt expression on his face and his hands in his pockets. Naruto ran up next to him—being very curious as to what happened the previous night.
"Hey, Sasuke!" Naruto yelled.
"Er…" Sasuke narrowed an eye at him.
"So," Naruto blinked, "How did the thing with Sakura go?" He asked slyly, expecting to hear anything but—
"I slept with her." Sasuke suddenly replied flatly before continuing on his way, leaving Naruto sprawled out on the ground, once again foaming at the mouth.
To Be Continued
Next chapters: The letters are received! What a night is in store! More on Kakashi soon! Please Review!