Disclaimer: I own nothing. Characters are owned by the Goddess that is J.K. Rowling, and the song is "Killing Loneliness" by HIM.

Author's Note: Just a little something that plagued me at work while having the song on repeat for 4 hours straight. Sometimes I wish Severus would stay out of my head and let me do my job, but hey, who am I to argue with the Great Snape? ;)

Memories, sharp as daggers

Pierce into the flesh of today

He didn't know how long he had been staring at a 5th year's in-class assignment, though he did know that he hadn't read a word of it. Hands folded in his lap and shoulders hunched, he sighed, wishing he could simply crawl into a ball and die. It hurt to think about her, so he had stopped many years ago, drowning her memory in firewiskey and wine. But today, the red-head from his past flooded his mind as he met the exact replica of her green eyes in her son.

Suicide of love took away all that matters

And buried the remains in an unmarked grave in your heart

For a fleeting summer he had her to himself. There was no James Potter lurking around, no Sirius Black hexing him at every turn. Just her and him, owling back and forth and meeting at the park down the street from her house. Late summer he had confessed his heart, and she had simply smiled. He felt foolish, childish, to fall so hard and fast for a girl that he had no chance for, but he had to tell her. That simple smile had haunted his dreams all though his seventh year, and for then 3 years after that. He buried his hurt, his shattered feelings, deep within himself, hoping they would go away with time. But they never eased.

With the venomous kiss you gave me

I'm killing loneliness (Killing loneliness)

With the warmth of your arms you saved me,

Oh, I'm killing loneliness with you

I'm killing loneliness that turned my heart into a tomb

I'm killing loneliness

He had felt alive that summer, felt worthy of something more then scorn and hate-filled remarks he received from the people who were supposed to love him. He had started opening up for the first time, sharing his secrets with her. He wondered if that was what love was supposed to feel like. They'd lay under the stars, wrapped in each others arms, picking out constellations. He felt warmed by the human contact, like he could finally come out of the protective cocoon he had wrapped around himself for self-preservation.

Nailed to the cross, together

As solitude begs us to stay

He never expected to find someone like her, someone who could love so openly and completely that it hurt to not return it. It was different for him, and disconcerting. The nagging feeling that he wasn't worthy plagued him daily, until he confessed his feelings. Only then did he feel the confirmation that he wasn't worthy of something so perfect.

Disappear in the lie forever

And denounce the power of death over our souls and secret words are said to start a war

He had laughed at his confession, stating he 'just wanted to see her reaction', while deep inside he died. A snide remark slipped passed his lips, something about mudbloods if his mind served him correctly, and she ran away crying. He remembered thinking it was good to see her cry, maybe she'd understand the pain he was going though. Then he realized that hurting her killed him inside.

With the venomous kiss you gave me

I'm killing loneliness (Killing loneliness)

With the warmth of your arms you saved me

The son's eyes were exactly like hers, in a face that looked exactly like her husbands. The child would be a constant reminder for the next 7 years of the mistake he made, of the way he lost her, and his own, cold, unyielding heart. What he wouldn't give to feel her arms around him again, melting the ice in his chest.