That bastard is going down. I told him more than once not to mess with me, and now he is going to get it. Bad. My mind works in interesting and evil ways, and I already have ideas for him. If revenge is sweet then this is pure sugar.

Later that night...

I had finally figured out how to unlock the door, all I needed was a paper clip. How do you lock a door from the outside anyway? I crept down the eerie hallways to Slade's room, remembering what Jagger said before about the stench. I quietly opened the door, while holding my breath, but it didn't help. It smelled like rotting pizza and sweaty socks. He doesn't even sleep on his bed right. He sleeps on, like, the side. Not to mention is very loud snoring.

"Oh God, this is going to kill me one way or another," I whispered, as I tiptoed by his bed.
"Ok," I whispered, "Razor, check, honey, check, string, check, buckets with oatmeal, check, camera, check. Awesome. I have everything I need. Now all I have to do is set it up." Then I gasped, because I thought of a GREAT idea! I just read about it in Gossip Girls and it is a very good revenge plot.

"I should but Nair in his shampoo bottles so he will loose all his hair!" Then I quickly, and then I covered my mouth, because I said that a little too loudly, as Slade stirred in his sleep.

"Whoa, close call," I said in relief. "And maybe I shouldn't do that Nair thing, that's a little too cruel for my taste. Ok on with the plan."

I set up the camera. I put it on his dresser, though slightly hidden behind a picture. This was the perfect angle to capture everything, and I turned it on.

First I decided to go with the honey. I decided to put honey in his shoes, so when he put them on, he would get a sticky surprise. Not to mention ruined shoes. I'm so bad.
I wandered to his closet and turned the brass doorknob as it opened with a creaking sound. Slade didn't even move. He was a pretty deep sleeper! Then I stopped in awe of how tidy the closet was. Everything had its own little cubby and was neatly labeled specifically. Grey Suits, Black Ties, you get the point. Then I wandered to the sad looking cubby labeled Jeans and noticed there was one dusty pair that looked about Chazz's size. What a pity. Then I went over to his Leisure Outfit. You know what it was? A navy blue suit! That is just plain sad. Then I shook my head to get back on topic. There were about 20 pairs of shoes all lined up by color. He has more pairs than me! I couldn't decide which ones to put the honey in. Then I saw a little area with an outfit hanging, labeled conveniently, Today. Of course, there were shoes under it. I figured that was he was wearing today, because of the label, and squeezed the honey in those shoes. Ha, I'm too clever.

Then I walked out and quietly shut the door. Now for the oatmeal. I was going for the traditional "oatmeal bucket over the door" thing. Except I would put one over the door and then another about the doorframe, just in case he suspected the first one. I tied a string that he would walk into, that would make the bucket fall. Oh man I can really channel my inner bitch.

After that I walked into his bathroom and took a permanent marker I found and wrote on the mirror "I told you I would get you 3 times worse" in all caps on the mirror. Perfect.

Now it was time for the grand finale. I would shave off his oh so precious goatee. Ha. I crept up on the unsuspecting victim and carefully started to shave it off with the razor. I was about halfway done when I heard him moan. Shit, he can't wake up now I'm in too deep! In panic I grabbed the permanent marker and drew in the half I shaved off, hoping he wouldn't notice until tomorrow when I can shave off the rest. Then his hand sprang up and grabbed my wrist.

"Ah!" I screamed, not suspecting this to happen.
He looked directly into my brown and green eyes, and said, "What in blazes do you think you are doing."

"Right now? Going to run away." Without another word I ran into the closet and to find somewhere to hide. But how can I hide when everything is in cubbies? I was trapped. In almost slow motion I see Slade running toward me with fiery eyes, probably about to kill me. He came out me with his hands extended to strangle me. Quickly I dodged out of the way and he ran into the wall, which made the door slam.

"Now you know how I felt!" I yelled referring to when I slammed into the wall just hours before.

"Oh no, you're going to feel way worse when I'm done with you." Slade stated angrily.

As a desperate way to escape I ran past him to the door. I jiggled the knob, but it wouldn't budge.

"Oh god! No, no! I'm stuck! What a horrible way to die! I wanted a family and to get married and—"

"Face it, no one will ever marry you."

"Hey, hey, hey let's not play the blame game, and look at yourself! Already 25 and still single. Tsk, tsk. Your past your prime man, you're done."

"Hey! I don't even want a girlfriend! I could get one if I really wanted to! Remember I'm rich!"

"Sure...that's why... So if you wanted to you could have a slutty gold-digging girlfriend." I told him, not believing his excuse.

"I don't like people anyway!"

"I can see that considering people don't like you either! Oh god I want out!" I yelled trying the doorknob once more.

"It's no use, it's locked." Slade said, while rubbing his forehead.

"Why would you lock your closet?" I questioned.

"I don't want people stealing my stuff."

"Face it, no one would want to take this shit," I explained while sitting down.

Meanwhile...

Chazz walked passed Slade's spray-painted door and noticed the bucket of oatmeal above it.

"What the hell? What is that doing there? You know what, I don't even want to know," He said as he walked down the hall.

Back in the closet (oh that sounds naughty)

"So..." I said while drumming my fingers against the black wall-to-wall carpet.

"So..." Slade responded.

"How do you change if it locks?" I asked.

"No one comes in my room, so I just leave it open." I shuddered at the thought of walking on Slade changing.

"So, if no one comes in, then why do you need a lock?" I inquired.

"Can you stop asking so many questions, you're driving me INSANE!" He shouted at me.

"I tend to have that effect on people. It's a blessing...and a curse. A blessing for me a curse for you." I said while grinning deviously.

Then Slade ran up to the door, nearly knocking me out of the way in the process and screamed, "LET ME OUT OF HERE!" while banging on the door frantically.

"Face it, we're done for. I never thought my life would end this way. To die of insanity of being STUCK in this hellhole, too neat, closet. Hang on; I'm going to starve! Wait a minute; you're a glutton; you got to have food in here!"

He just stared back at me blankly. "Ok, first of all, I'm not a glutton. Second...I don't have food in here."

I got up and collared him. "What do you mean you don't have food in here!" I yelled, "And how do you survive the ten minutes of changing without food?"

"Oh god. What did I do to deserve this?" He asked to no one in particular. I opened my mouth to tell him off but he cut me off. "Don't say anything" I just smiled innocently.

"I have a great idea! Why don't we get some ruby slippers, I could pt them on, click the heels three times, and wish us out of the closet! Just like Wizard of Oz! You probably have a red pair around here somewhere" I announced, while scaling over his shoe collection.

"Oh that's brilliant! And if that doesn't work then we could catch a leprechaun and use the wish of catching it to get us out!" Slade shouted sarcastically.

"Now you're getting it!"

Slade put his palm to his forehead in disbelief to how stupid I am. "Ew," he said, "my skin feels so oily." I rolled my eyes to how girly that sounded. "I better check it out in the mirror." I sprang up.

"No! Your skin is fine, perfect even. Yup, yup." I told him to try to get him not to look in the mirror and see his "goatee".

He stared at me suspiciously, "Ok, what did you do..."

"Nothing, nothing, why would you think I did something? Heh. Heh." I chuckled nervously.

"Oh god..." he walked over to the full-length mirror in his 25ft by 25ft closet. Just one glance in the mirror I knew I was done.

As he looked in the mirror I saw his jaw literally drop. "AH! WHAT DID YOU DO! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! AND WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DRAW THE SHAVED HALF BACK WITH PERMENANT MARKER!"

"So you wouldn't notice. But now I realize that looks much more ridiculous then just shaving it all off. Wait...uh oh, shouldn't have said that..." Slade just stood by the mirror hyperventilating. I thought he was going to faint right then and there. Then he slowly turned to me.

"First I'm going to kill you, then I'm going to cut up your sorry ass body into a million little pieces, and burn you!"

"Why would you burn me?" I asked while backing away from this psycho.

"Because dead things smell bad."

"You should know; your room is full of them."

"Ok your supposed to beg for mercy, NOT GET ME EVEN MORE MAD!" He shouted.

I quickly grabbed the closest silk tie, and was about to rip it "Ok, back away or the silk tie gets it!"

"I don't care, I can get another one! It's a small price to pay for the relief of getting you out of my life!" She shouted while making his way toward me, who was backed out into a corner.

"Aw c'mon, it's just a goatee, and if you kill me you would be stuck in here with a smelly dead, burned person. Not to mention go to jail for murder..." I paused, "Hey, wait a minute, why haven't Chazz and Jagger noticed we're gone?" I said frantically trying to get find any excuse for him to back off.

"Ugh, your right, you're neither worth my time nor energy." He sighed while stopping. I wiped invisible sweat off my head in relief.

In the Princeton living room...

"Hey where are Slade and that other girl?" Jagger asked Chazz.

"Marissa?" Chazz answered.

"Yeah, whatever, where are they?" Jagger questioned.

"Psh, I don't know, who cares" Chazz stated.

"True dat," Jagger agreed.