Author: Margaret Price PM
Dorian believes that the world revolves around him and that the Major is exclusively his. So...why is the Earl suddenly hiring a Private Investigator to follow Klaus? And what does the PI uncover? Think Emperor of the Hamburg Nights on viagra.Rated: Fiction M - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,125 - Favs: 1 - Published: 07-30-06 - Status: Complete - id: 3076752
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Dorian wasn't sure what he was going to say when Klaus arrived. He knew he would have to confront him, but wasn't exactly sure how to go about it. This was unfamiliar territory. He was the Earl of Gloria! He wasn't the one people threw over. He did it to them!
He decided to use the tape, since there was no way Klaus could deny it, not that he really expected him to try. When he heard the Major's car pull up, Dorian popped the tape into the VCR and hit play. Then he sat down, folded his arms, and waited.
"Dorian, what are you doing in the library?" Klaus asked as he strode into the room. "You said you'd be waiting…out…front…" His words trailed off as his eyes locked on the television screen. "Fuck."
"Yes, you seem to be doing a lot of that lately," Dorian said coldly as he got to his feet. "Care to explain?"
"Explain what?" Klaus replied. "It's rather obvious what's… Christ, how did I do that without hurting myself?" The look in his eyes was one of pride rather than guilt, causing Dorian to slap the off button. Then his expression was immediately crestfallen. "Why'd you do that?"
"Why?" Dorian was incredulous. "Klaus, I thought you and I were…well, a couple."
Klaus's eyebrows went up. "Really? You mean you actually expected me to be monogamous?"
"Yes! What did you think I would expect?"
Klaus shrugged. "You weren't celibate while you were chasing me all those years, were you?"
"Then why should I expect you to stay faithful to me now?" Klaus pointed out logically.
Dorian blinked. "I rather assumed that…with your upbringing, it was a given that you'd be faithful to me, Klaus."
"Ah. Well, that was your mistake," Klaus said dismissively. "Thanks to you, I'm finding out what I've been missing."
Dorian's mouth dropped open. He couldn't believe these words were coming from his beloved Major. How could he just turn his back on him after all he'd been through to get him? "So, where does that leave me?"
Klaus gave another shrug. "By the way, women aren't as bad as I thought."
"Klaus, they used to give you the creeps!"
"So did you," Klaus countered. "You're the one who said so long as I got pleasure, it made no difference if I slept with a man or a woman"
"That's not what I meant!"
"Really? You should try it sometime."
Dorian shuddered. "I feel ill."
"Sure, fine! After all I've been through for you, now I learn that you're a slut, Major!"
Klaus heaved a heavy sigh, rolling his eyes. "If you're gonna get all emotional about it, Dorian…"
"Emotional! Damn right I'm gonna get bloody emotional," Dorian thundered back. "No one throws me over!"
Klaus's eyebrows went up. "Oh, so that's it! It's just your bloody ego that can't take it. This has nothing to do with me at all, shallow wanker." He waved a hand in the air. "That's your problem. You've wasted all your time on pretty boys who don't know any better."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Klaus gave him a piercing look. "You're not that good."
Dorian's mouth dropped open. "Bastard!" He punctuated this by slapping him across the face.
Klaus touched a hand to his face, turned on his heel, and started toward the door. "Have a nice life, Eroica."
"Don't you dare walk out on me!" Dorian strode after him, grabbing the man by the coat, and spinning him around.
"Let go of my coat, Dorian. I don't want to hurt you."
Dorian gave a bitter laugh. "It's way too late for that, Klaus."
"Fine." Klaus pulled the Earl's hands from his coat only to have him reach in and pull his gun from its holster. "What are you gonna do with that?" he said dismissively.
"Condescending bastard. I should put a bullet through your fucking heart," Dorian growled. He pulled the trigger. Nothing happened. He tried again, and again with the same result.
Klaus sighed heavily, rolling his eyes. "You idiot, you're trying to shoot me with a gun that has the safety on." He held his hand out. "Give me that back before you hurt yourself."
"No!" Dorian moaned. "I'm gonna kill you, you lying, cheating bastard!" He flipped the safety catch and pulled the trigger.
What happened next seemed to happen in slow motion. The bullet slammed into Klaus's body, knocking him off his feet and sending him flying. He landed several feet away, sprawled on the carpet, an enormous hole in his chest. A pool of blood started to form almost immediately.
Dorian stood staring, not quite believing what he had done. Servants came out of the woodwork and stood in a horrified silence as they took in the scene. Finally, after the gun fell from Dorian's hand, Bonham ventured close. "M'lord?"
Dorian gave him a vacant look, and then fainted dead away.
"Mmm?" Dorian struggled to open his eyes. When he did, he felt dizzy and closed them again. He swallowed hard, a hand going to his spinning head. "Am I dead?"
A laugh. "No. You're in the hospital. You collapsed."
"Hospital…?" Dorian was trying to make sense of it all. "Not jail?"
"Why would you be in jail? Aside from the obvious, of course."
Dorian suddenly realized to whom he was speaking and his eyes snapped open. He turned to look at the man in astonishment. "Klaus!"
Klaus gave a small smile. He was sitting at the bedside, looking remarkably unscathed. "Feeling better?"
Dorian put a hand to his head again. "I…I shot you."
Klaus's eyebrows went up and he looked down at himself in amusement. "You're still a lousy shot, then."
"I don't…" Dorian closed his eyes. "God, my head is spinning."
"You collapsed," Klaus repeated. "Apparently, you were right about getting some bad seafood, and Justin was right about influenza. You had food poisoning on top of the flu. You ended up getting extremely dehydrated and then you spiked a dangerously high temperature."
"How long have I been here?"
"Two days," came the startling reply. "You were delirious for a bit." Klaus gave a small smile. "Who, may I ask, is Evans?"
Dorian blinked. "Evans?"
"You kept repeating that Evans would find the truth. Then you would know for sure. Know what for sure?"
"Oh, Klaus…" Dorian closed his eyes. "I had the most…bizarre dream about you."
"You…" Dorian sighed heavily. "You were gonna leave me."
Klaus's eyes widened. "I was?"
Klaus's eyes widened further. It was all he could do not to burst out laughing. "You really were delirious." He noticed Dorian licking his parched lips and reached over, picking up a glass of water from the table and holding it out, putting the straw to his mouth.
Dorian observed this automatic gesture and felt a pang of guilt. How could I ever think this man would want to leave me? He took a sip of the water, and smiled gratefully. "Thank you."
Klaus nodded, and then leaned on the railing of the hospital bed, his eyes bright. "Now, I want to hear all about this. How did I get to the point where I was I gonna leave you for women? Is that why you shot me?" He seemed to find the whole idea genuinely amusing, much to Dorian's relief.
Dorian gave him a self-conscious smile. "Oh, Klaus. If I tell you the details, you'll just laugh at me."
"You're probably right."
Dorian smiled briefly. "The gist of it is…you said that…you didn't think I'd be faithful only to you," he said mildly. "So, you figured that you didn't have to be faithful to me."
Klaus's eyes narrowed. "Do you really believe that?"
"No! I always assumed that… that… When you and I got together, that would be it."
"No more pretty boys?"
Dorian closed his eyes and wondered if he should have broached this subject sooner. When the relationship began, for instance. What if Klaus really did believe he would have to share his affections with a never-ending parade of pretty boys?
"No more pretty boys, Klaus. Just you. Only you."
Klaus got to his feet and leaned over the bed, kissing Dorian very tenderly on the mouth. "I never doubted it for a second."
— END —