Disclaimer: Cowboy Bebop does not belong to me, kthnxbye.

Author’s Notes: Well, we all know THE TENSION that like runs Faye and Spike’s relationship throughout the show. For some reason, I always thought that after the episode Pierrot Le Fou that tension would possibly be at its highest, aside from the end of the show. Either then or after the episode Brain Scratch. But this ficlet takes place immediately after Session 20: Pierrot Le Fou.

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The parade continued on and on. It was disgusting, in a way. A child might have enjoyed it, perhaps that’s what drove the madman to this place, but any sane person knew how disgusting and wrong the entire place was. It just reeked of everything overbearing and annoying. How parents would tolerate taking their kids to such a place was a mystery.

Spike’s shoulder hurt a hell of a lot. At least the bullet had gone all the way through and he wouldn’t have to deal with getting the bullet out which would have been just another damn thorn in his side. Like it wasn’t enough that Faye had to fucking show up in the midst of it all…

And there she was, sprawled in her Redtail, upside down. She was lighting a cigarette. What the hell had driven her to come and try and help Spike or whatever was another mystery. Just like that mystery about the amusement park and the adults who came here. Then again, that mystery could be solved by saying that the parents were already insane by having had kids. Why the hell would anyone have kids?

Faye hadn’t noticed Spike yet. She took a drag of her cigarette and sighed. Spike couldn’t hear it from his distance but he could see it. The sight of her sitting there, deciding that she had to get in the action when she really didn’t have to, was beyond what Spike could comprehend. It was a stupid idea. She knew that he was being stupid enough going out there by himself, but if she was going to then she would have joined him in death.

Except that they weren’t dead. The madman was, and good riddance. But Spike was still alive… in a way. He couldn’t really tell. The past couple days seemed rather like a dream within a dream. Of course, they say pain wakes you up from dreams. Too bad the pain that fucking clown caused Spike didn’t wake him up any more than any other pain.

She finally looked up and nearly dropped her cigarette. Perhaps she really had expected him to die. Not that he could blame her, considering he had gone out to fight a fucking perfect assassin while having half of his body barely functional. Faye lifted one eyebrow, curious at Spike’s appearance. He probably looked like shit, having fallen in a river and then getting shot and running all around an amusement park and all. She didn’t look scratched at all. Her Redtail didn’t even seem too messed up. At least the Swordfish hadn’t been near the scene and so it was only its occupant that was damaged in the fight.

“Lunkhead.” Spike could hear her say it as he walked closer to the ship. He walked up to her Redtail, smiled sarcastically through the clear door, and knocked. He stepped back and she fell out of the Redtail with her usual lack of grace.

“So you did come to try and save me from the insane clown, I’m flattered,” greeted Spike in his usual light tone, the one he used when he should have been serious. But considering Spike wasn’t serious, especially around Faye of all people, he wasn’t going to start acting like he was now.

Faye took her cue from Spike and acted exactly how she usually did when she was peeved at him. Which meant she yelled. “You stupid asshole! Don’t you ever try and stay alive? Or do you just go out looking for new ways to try and die or something?” Spike raised an eyebrow in confusion. Why the hell was she so angry? It wasn’t her problem if he died or something. Jet would let her stay on the Bebop, it’s not like Spike ever plead for her to stay. Mostly he complained about her staying on the ship.

So he asked her. “Why do you care so much anyways, Faye?” he said, smirking at her like he knew. He was sure that would irritate her even more. He had no clue what she was raving on about, but when he gave her the impression that he could practically read her mind… well, she wouldn’t exactly be pleased.

Spike pulled out a cigarette and stuck it in his mouth. Before he had a chance to reach for his lighter, Faye’s lit up in his face. It was dark out now, and the amusement park was dying down. Her face was lit up and it looked almost eerie in the glow. Spike shrugged and leaned forward for his cigarette to be lit. After a drag, Faye still hadn’t replied.

“It was pretty stupid of you to follow me, you know that Faye,” Spike said quietly, leaning against her Redtail. Faye was also leaning against the Redtail, her back facing his side so that she wouldn’t have to look at him. “Considering you believed me when I said I’d probably die on this one, I don’t know what the hell you were thinking.”

“I was thinking you were the stupid one, Spike!” exclaimed Faye, turning around to face him. Spike’s eyebrow flew back up in query. “Like a lunkhead, you come out here, half-dead and ready to tangle with a fucking insane clown! Of course, I shouldn’t be surprised, but I thought you might actually want to live past twenty seven. Maybe to thirty or even forty!” Faye scoffed. “Like that’ll ever happen.”

Spike didn’t reply, just smirked and took another drag of his cigarette. “Who wants to live and get old and wrinkly and all that shit anyways? What’s the point of ending up on fifty different medications just to live to see another day? It’s pointless bullshit.”

Faye rolled her eyes. “You don’t act carefree, Spike, you act like you have a fucking death wish.”

“Maybe I do.”

“Don’t joke about shit like that, Spike.”

Both bounty hunters looked over at each other. Faye was obviously infuriated with Spike, wanted to smack him. She almost wished she was his mother for a second. Surely if Spike listened to anybody in his life he’d listen to his mother. But then Faye didn’t want to be Spike’s fucking mother. And she wondered if he’d even listen to a mother. Spike was just confused. Usually he could just act nonchalant and forget about what Faye was saying because it was simple. But right about now, Faye was pissed off and her attitude was pissing him off.

“Thanks, mom, are you trying to be like Jet? Are you two going to hook up and adopt me and Ed? ‘Cause I had a mother and I had a father and I had the whole happy family thing, for a couple of years, but we all know that that didn’t work out or else we wouldn’t be in this situation would we, Faye?”

Spike never talked about any of his past. Whether or not it was pointless shit like his family, he never even said he had a family. For all Faye knew he just popped out of the ground. As far as she was concerned he had just popped out of the ground on Mars.

“Whatever, Spike, I’m just trying to be your fucking friend, trying to look out for you now and again. Jet too. So you can stop blowing us off so you can go die,” spat Faye as she moved to get back into her Redtail. But Spike was leaning on the door. “Move,” she told him. He didn’t comply. “I said move it, lunkhead!” she exclaimed. Spike still didn’t move.

He was testing her, seeing how long before she drew out her gun and shot at his feet before he moved. But she didn’t draw out her gun, not yet. Faye just kept yelling at him to move, sometimes stomping her foot and shaking her head. Her head was moving around so much and her hair flew into her face so Spike couldn’t tell that she was crying.

Spike just leaned against the Redtail while she wailed and screamed. Finally he grabbed her by the shoulders and held her still. “Are you done now, Faye?” he asked her in his usually offhand way. She didn’t say anything. She was looking at the ground and he couldn’t tell if she was angry or not. “Stop being my friend, Faye. You say you don’t understand me? Well I don’t understand me either. Stop trying to be a friend to a messed-up lunkhead like me. It won’t do you any good to come running after me, trying to save my life all the time.”

He sounded almost… solemn. Nearly serious. The amusement park music still played in the background, further off so that it was barely audible. There was a wind blowing some papers around that made background noise as well. And then there was Spike, leaning against the Redtail, holding Faye still while she tried to stop crying.

She felt so stupid, so vulnerable. She knew she shouldn’t have bothered trying to be Spike’s friend or anything else. Just like he said, it wouldn’t do any good. And in the end he’d just end up going off to die. Like Gren. Because that’s what all the men who couldn’t let go did. Jet, he could let go. He wouldn’t go off to die. But people like Spike, Gren, and Vicious… no matter if they won their final battle they would just go off and die a few minutes later because they were selfish.

“Whatever, Spike, just fucking move,” she growled at him.

Spike didn’t know what he was doing. He was starved for attention, angry and annoyed and depressed and upset and humored all at the same time. And when you feel too many emotions and you can’t control them anymore you do things. Stupid things, most of the time. Spike didn’t move, he didn’t let go of Faye’s shoulders. All he did was pull her up and attach his lips to hers.

She didn’t fight back. She didn’t want to, really. She was still angry as fucking hell with Spike, but this was a new way of dealing with it. Faye bit down on his lip, hard. Spike nearly backed off for a second, but didn’t bother; instead he fiercely pulled Faye closer to him.

It was all so violent, in a way. But it worked for them. It was what they needed. It wasn’t anything romantic, not in the least. All you could properly call it was a period of pent-up frustration and tension finally just being dealt with, in a way. You couldn’t say anything was resolved or anything was decided because Faye woke up more confused than before, and Spike woke up remembering everything he had told her. He was a messed-up lunkhead, couldn’t she get that into her fucking head?

The only thing that perhaps came of this, was that the tension was lessened for a time. They never talked about it, neither with each other or anybody else. They both knew that it wasn’t anything but a new way to deal with the confusion and pain.

Neither thought about it much. But then there was a night, when Julia was dead and Spike went off to die again. But this time, Faye knew she couldn’t go after him. Not this time. He would go off and fucking die like the stupid lunkhead he was. And all Faye would do was wish she could have stopped him. But Spike didn’t listen to anyone. He was a messed-up lunkhead to the core.

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I really hope I got the characters right. X.x This is why I usually avoid writing Spike. He really is a lunkhead, especially to write! Reviews are love, as long as they’re not flames, so leave one!