This was inspired by real life events, being tired, and being on sugar high. So, enjoy!

This fanfic's for It-was-Ayame. Love you Aaya, but not in the yuri-sort-of-way!

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket.

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"Haa-san, why do we always have to play chess? Can't we play something more interesting? Like Old Maid? Haaaaa-saaaaaaaan," Shigure, the dog, whined. "Please, please let me pick the game tonight!"

"But I like chess. I've only made you play once before, and you didn't do too badly. If you hadn't sacrificed your queen for that pawn of yours..." Hatori, the dragon, replied.

"But, but, but, Chiyo-chan didn't want to die!" Shigure whined, this time louder.

Hatori sighed, and said, "I can't help that you become emotionally attached to your chess pieces." Hatori had set the board up beautifully, every piece was more or less in the center of its square. It was his own chess set, which he valued greatly. Not that it was worth much money with its plastic pieces and coffee stained board, but he and Kana, his girlfriend who was now but a memory, used to play every night.

"White or Black?" Hatori asked.

"Which one moves first, my dear Haa-san? As you know I can't play for cheesedoodles. Therefore, I will take the color that moves last!" Shigure said triumphantly.

Hatori nodded, and turned the board so the black set faced Shigure. "I'll begin now."

Hatori moved one of his knights closer to the board's center. Shigure looked at the piece, and held his chin in thought.

"Haa-san, what sense does it make to have a horse jump over a pawn? The poor boy could have been decapitated!" Shigure said, already getting wound-up.

"Those are just the rules of the game. Your turn." Hatori replied, leaning his head on his hand. It was going to be a very long game.

Shigure moved a pawn one space. Hatori was amzed he even remembered how to play the game at all.

"Aaaand, Sakaki-chan moves forward!" Shigure yelled excitedly.

Hatori quietly moved his other knight in the same manner as the first, making sure he didn't touch the pawn in front.

Shigure continued moving only his pawns, giving each of them names such as "Tomo," "Yukari," "Nyamo," and once he ran out of Azumanga Daioh names, he began naming the rest of the pieces after members of the family, and friends.

"Tohru is the one rook, and Kana is the other. Don't feel bad, Haa-san, they're both flowers we cannot have. Then the knights of course are Rin-chan and Haru-chan. It's only fitting that the bishops are myself, and Aaya! Then the king is Kyo-kun, and the queen is Yuki-kun!"

Hatori stared blankly at the last two, before moving his own queen. "Yuki... is the queen?"

Shigure smiled, and began to explain, in his own words, "Yes, Haa-san! Haven't you ever imagined Yuki-kun in a girl's uniform? Ah, Yuki in a dress... such a dream he'll never let us have, at least not since the culture fest! Aaya... oh, Aaya could make a special dress for Yuki-kun. Haa-san, where should the hemlines be? Oh, and should it be low-cut? And where should the dress come to on his legs? I've always imagined it around his knees, maybe a little higher, and..."

Hatori cut him off, and said, "It's your move."

Shigure was getting bored of chess, and said, "All right then, I'll move off this ridiculous chair and go call Aaya! So, what is your vote on the dress? Low cut? High cut?"

Hatori sighed, and replied tiredly, "My vote is on thinking how Yuki would feel if you got a dress for him."

"High-cut, just what I was thinking!" Shigure said, feeling full of energy. "Not much of a point to have a low-cut dress, after all, on Yuki, there is nothing to see!"

Then Shigure ran off to the phone, leaving Hatori behind to study the chessboard. There were a few moves he could make that would put Shigure into checkmate, and he wanted to end this game as soon as possible. He wondered to himself why he even wanted to attempt to play chess with Shigure.

Shigure returned, and made his move, a stunning move made by none other than Yuki-kun the Queen!

Actually, it was a sacrifice to save Kyo-kun the King, which Hatori was amazed at. He took Kyo-kun the King off the board with his plain old knight.

"Check," Hatori said rather amused.

Shigure moved Kyo-kun the King behind Sakaki-san the Pawn, and Hatori was unphased. Within two more moves, well-planned by Hatori and ill-thought-out by Shigure, Hatori could officially say, "Checkmate."

"Checkmate... it has a delightful ring to the word. Checkmate. Checkmate. Checkmate Checkmate Checkmate Checkmate!" Shigure said obnoxiously.

Hatori had begun to pack up the gameboard and pieces, when Shigure surprised Hatori by saying, "Oh, and I'm sure you want to hear about the dress I ordered for Yuki-kun!"

"Not really..."

"OF COURSE YOU DO! It is a high-cut purple dress to match his eyes, and it ends right above the knees. Now, if Yuki would shave his legs, it would look perfect, but he can't have him doing that now, can we! If he shaved his legs, I'd be ashamed! I mean, men have to keep our manly pride!"

Hatori thought to himself, "So, putting Yuki in a dress keeps his manly pride...?"

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Woo! That was a fun oneshot to write. This was seriously inspired by a real chess game. Actually, three or four of them put together. I laughed a lot writing this. I hope everybody enjoyed it!

- Koi