Chapter 6

I was only human.

Okay, maybe that statement would mean next to nothing to you, but considering my surroundings, I am really saying something. But that's not exactly what I'm referring to when I say that. I'm human. I have wants and needs. And I wasn't just human. I was a male human. I had er… special needs. Desires, if you will. Every now and then, a healthy guy will have certain ideas, certain urges involving the opposite sex. I had confidence in my ability to control said urges, I assure you. But lately I've been feeling really tense in my environment. I noticed my mind wandering into strange, perverted territory, and my concentration wavered easily.

It's because such attractive girls (strange and otherworldly, but attractive nonetheless) are constantly surrounding me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not pointing the gun at them or anything, it's just… It's really frustrating. Being a healthy male, I did now and then seek a strong relationship with a girl, but… Well, I'm sure I've made it clear that I'm not exactly that special of a guy. Rather, I am the epitome of ordinary. When they say there are plenty of fish in the sea, I'd be the fish that was just called fish – sort of like the way everybody has settled with just calling me Kyon. I mean does anybody even know my name?

But I digress… I was saying that I've been hit with sudden urges, right? Well, the reason for said urges was all thanks to an upcoming school trip. Due to some unforeseen circumstances, thanks to my unbelievable ignorance, my male libido had shifted into overdrive, and had begun pumping the nitro.

How about I just start from the beginning?

---

A week had passed since my swollen hand incident. Whether or not the week was eventful or not was beyond me. Days of hunger had completely wiped my memory of anything that had happened the entire week. Thankfully, my allowance was due, so I was finally going to be able to eat during school again! Oh, and before you point out that I could very well have made my own lunch, my parents wanted me to learn to be responsible with my money. Famine was my punishment.

I was feeling good that day, and at the bell for recess, after Haruhi left to do whatever it was she did, I decided that I'd spend some time talking to Kunikida and Taniguchi, both of whom I had pretty much ignored the entire week.

"I finally got it! The telescope I was talking about! The one with super-high magnification!"

"No way, Taniguchi! You really did it? I thought you were just mouthing off as usual!"

"Ha-hah, Kunikida! You underestimate me! I for one will not waste our trip! I will make it the greatest trip ever! Those girls won't even know what's happening!"

Trip? What trip? Are you two going stargazing or something?

"Stargazing? What the hell are you on about, Kyon? We're talking about the hot springs! H-o-t s-p-r-i-n-g-s!"

You two are going to the hot springs? How come I wasn't told about this? Weren't you guys going to invite me?

"Invite you? Dude, it's the super-special, end-of-year trip! The whole school is going!"

I'm sorry, say what now?

"Kyon, you're sounding as though you haven't handed in you permission slip. Okabe-sensei made it clear that all boys were to hand it in by the end of last week." Kunikida inspected my face closely. I can only imagine what face I had on. "You… did give in your permission slip, right?"

Oh.

Oh God.

Oh God, no.

Could it be, that in my vegetable state-of-mind, that something so big occurred? They must be screwing with me, right? I didn't just miss our end-of-year trip, right? They explained to me that the first announcement of the trip occurred during my time at the nurse's office, and was mentioned every morning afterwards.

"Dude, you're scaring us. Tell us you gave your permission slip in."

The bell tolled, ending recess. Or in my ears, it was the signal for the 'idiot' shooters to line up and execute me.

---

I spent the rest of the day in a depressed trance, waiting until the end of the day to speak with Okabe-sensei.

"Kyon, what are you doing? We've got a meeting to hold!" Haruhi was as impatient as ever.

"Go ahead of me. I've got to talk to the teacher for a minute."

"… Fine, but don't take too long. The meeting can't begin without all of us!"

After everybody had left, I asked Okabe-sensei about the trip.

"Oh, yeah, the hot springs trip. I'm pretty sure the boys have given in their permission slips already. They've already been sent to the resort, and now we're just collecting the girls' slips. Is something the matter?"

Yeah, actually, about that…

"You haven't given in your permission slip? Why not?"

I was unaware! Had I known, I would have prepared it quick smart!

"Well, I'm sorry to say that there's nothing we can really do about it. You see, the resort's lodgings are separated in two – the girls and boys, in our case. They have two campuses of accommodation, which are run by different hotel companies, so we have to send them the slips separately. Unfortunately, it's much too late for us to change the bookings. We can't make refunds, nor can we suddenly make an extra booking."

I felt my shoulders slump as I realized I would be missing this trip. Exactly what was I to do if everybody in my school was off having fun while I'd be the sole student in North High? My future was looking bleak…

I excused myself, dragging my feet to the clubroom and solemnly taking a seat.

"Kyon, you're really late! Never mind, there's nothing we can do now but make up for lost time! Anyway, I wanted to discuss what activities we'd be having during our hot springs trip!"

I think I must have groaned as my head sunk down to the table, because I had gotten everybody's attention.

"Kyon! I won't accept this unmotivated attitude of yours! If you're like this during the trip-"

"I'm not going."

A sudden silence befell the room, and I quickly explained my situation.

"Oh no, Kyon…" Asahina played with her fingers glumly. Unfortunately, not even Asahina's maid outfit could cheer me up this time.

"Kyon…"

Haruhi stood up, and began walking towards me. Could it be, she felt bad for me?

"You…"

She stood behind me, placing her hands on my shoulders.

"IDIOT!"

Her arms shot around my neck, tightening on me. Man, Haruhi was really pissed. As she strangled me, yelling profanities of all kinds, the others just watched as Haruhi vented everything out. After she finished, she waltzed out of the clubroom, without so much as a 'goodbye'.

"Haruhi didn't seem very happy."

No kidding, Sherlock Itsuki. I would tell you that you're stating the obvious, but that would just be stating the obvious. And I refuse to be anything like you.

"It's quite tender of her to care for you like that."

Care for me? She was choking me mercilessly! And I'd hardly call the language she used 'tender'. It was quite obvious for all to see, if you ask me. Haruhi just needed a lap dog to handle her luggage and assist with all other menial chores.

"Why aren't you going on the trip, Kyon? Is something the matter?" Asahina asked with concern.

"I'm also quite curious. It's quite surreal to find that even Yuki was willing to join this venture and that you would decline. Besides, Haruhi has very much been looking forward to this all week."

Even Yuki gave in her permission slip? Now I just felt weird. I gave them an abbreviated version of the story (which reminded me to thank Yuki again for the food she made me that day) and told them about my dilemma. Apparently, the girls of the SOS Brigade had given their slips in as soon as possible thanks to Haruhi's vigorous coaxing. In other words, the entire SOS Brigade was heading for the trip, minus one.

Me.

"Well, since we aren't sure of whether or not Haruhi will be returning, how about we play some chess for the next hour or two, and if she doesn't return we'll call it a day?"

Fair enough. Beating you in chess may help me vent some anger of my own, anyway. I may not pummel you with my fists, but I will totally checkmate you until you cry.

---

Koizumi and I had played for roughly an hour, and I was just too depressed and bored to go on. I had hoped the game would ease my mood, but it only serves to elevate my feeling of impending doom. In time, the entire school would be heading for a trip, leaving me, all alone, waiting for them to come back and tell me what a grand time they had.

What? I wasn't going to be lonely! Not at all! I was fine with the ordeal. So I wouldn't be joining everyone at the hot springs resort, big deal… And I wouldn't be enjoying the fine, refreshing waters from the mountains, that's okay…

All right, it wasn't okay. I wanted to go with everyone and have a fun end-of-year celebration. I wanted to frolic about the pools, see Asahina in a bath towel, and pretty much relax. There just had to be a way to go. Somehow…

There was a knock at the door, and Asahina answered it. It was Tsuruya. What was she doing still at school?

"Yo, Kyon! Hiya, Mikuru!" she yelled out. Asahina responded with a cute little wave and a sweet smile. "I heard about ya from Haru-pyon, Kyon! Why aren't ya going to the trip?"

I once again explained my situation, abbreviating it even more than last time. I just couldn't be bothered explaining my stupidity so often.

"Ah, is that all, Kyon?" Tsuruya tentatively played with her cheek, poking it fervently. She suddenly slapped her fist onto her hand as she grinned brightly. "I think I can handle this, Kyon!"

Really? What are you intending to do?

"My family has a lot of connections, Kyon! I'm pretty sure we know one of the hotel CEOs intimately! I can ask my parents to help ya out! Anyway, I'm gonna rush home and see what I can do for ya!"

You really don't have to go through so much for me, Tsuruya. It makes me feel like a burden.

"Not at all, Kyon! I want ya to come anyway! We're gonna have lots of fun!" Tsuruya gave me a quick smile and a frantic wave before dashing off again. I shuddered for a moment. The way she said we'd have fun reminded me of Haruhi. Scary.

---

In the end, Haruhi didn't return, and we all decided to just call it a day. I took a moment to watch the others. Koizumi was putting the board games back onto the shelf neatly. Yuki was setting down her novel… Hey wait a minute, is that a manga? From the look of it, it was a pretty typical shoujo manga, with the fluttery-eyed girl and an unrealistically tall and skinny guy that would probably fight thugs off her or something. I don't really read shoujo manga, but I assume it follows that kind of trend. Asahina had just finished rinsing the cups, and was laying them to dry on some cloth. After that, she looked to be waiting for us to leave so she could get changed.

As I was leaving the room with Yuki and Koizumi, I was contemplating silently. Tsuruya definitely had an influential family, and Koizumi confirmed it after I found out about her family's connection to Koizumi's agency. I didn't want to get too hopeful though. I mean, how much could she possibly do?

"Don't fret too much, my dear Kyon." Don't ever call me that again, it's too creepy. "Tsuruya-san has a very powerful family. And I'm sure even if she can't do anything about it, Haruhi most certainly will. I myself cannot see the SOS Brigade having fun without you."

How do you even know what I'm thinking about? You can read minds, can't you!

"I can just see it on your face."

Koizumi then bade me farewell, and left without another word. I sighed heavily. That Koizumi sure knew how to irritate me in ways I couldn't even explain.

"Kyon."

"What's up, Yuki?"

"If you do not manage to join the excursion, I calculate that the disturbance it could cause in individuals such as Suzumiya Haruhi to be disastrous. The possibility of alteration to the world is quite high with circumstances as they are now."

You make it sound like Haruhi will morph the world so that someone will be her crony while I'm not there. It's unfortunate that I can only agree with this notion.

"As well as this, I feel that Asakura Ryoko will also be taking initiatives against you. I would prefer you to be in my vicinity so that I may prevent such problems."

Ah, so you're essentially saying you want me to be there, right? I'm just kidding, Yuki, I know what you mean.

"You are correct. I… Wish for you to be there."

Yuki then walked off, leaving me a little dumbfounded. I didn't think Yuki had it in her to make a joke. I'm quite impressed.

The door opened, and Asahina, back in her ordinary uniform, stepped out, yelping softly as she almost walked into me.

"Are you okay, Asahina?"

"Y-Yes, thank you…"

Asahina fidgeted about for a moment, then looked up at me with those innocent eyes, which drove me crazy.

"K-Kyon… I hope you can make it to the trip…"

"Yeah, I know. Somebody has to keep Haruhi in check."

"No, that's not it… I mean… Uhu…"

Asahina seemed to have trouble with words at the moment. I felt something was wrong, but what? I wonder…

I clapped my hand on her shoulder, and tried to give her a reassuring look.

"I'm sure everything will work out somehow, so try not to worry too much. I want to be there for the same reason you want me there, too."

I'm sure that was it. She must've felt that Haruhi would go berserk without someone to throw around, and was worried that the world would be destroyed or something. She looked flushed though, her cheeks tingling red. Perhaps I was wrong, and what I said is making her want to laugh, but she doesn't want to laugh right in front of me.

"Ehe… D-Did you notice, Kyon? I feel a bit… embarrassed, but… Thank you, Kyon."

She looked up at me with a smile that could melt the polar ice caps before gently skipping away, waving to me once more before disappearing down the stairs. I have no idea what she meant by embarrassed, but hey. It seemed I got the right idea, didn't I?

I somehow had the urge to take a walk around the school for a while. Don't ask me why, I wouldn't be able to give an answer to that. I walked around the corridors for a while, and my ear caught onto the sound of music. An acoustic guitar, I think. Soon I heard a singing voice accompany it, a very beautiful voice. I didn't know much about music, but I'd describe the sound as being somewhat… Romantic? Sad-ish? I followed the music like a hypnotized rattlesnake, and soon found myself standing outside one of the music rooms. I slowly opened the door, and there, sitting alone on one of the desks, was a young girl, deep in song, singing her heart out. I finally realized why the sound was so familiar to me.

I crept into the room, taking a seat in front of her, who was so absorbed into her music that her eyes were shut and she paid me no attention at all. I listened quietly to the whole song, and couldn't help but feel tingly inside. This was definitely a number I didn't expect to come out of this particular. As she came to an end, she took a relaxing breath.

Clap. Clap. Clap.

I gave her an ovation, causing her to quickly open her eyes and to look at me with an embarrassed expression.

"That was pretty good, Haruhi."

She gripped the guitar tightly, tilting her head away from me with a cute, angry expression.

"I don't need you to tell me that, Kyon! What are you doing here, anyway? School was over a long time ago!"

I was at the club. Remember? Your club?

"Listen, Haruhi, about the trip…"

"I know already! You don't want to go, right? Why should I care? If you don't want to go, then that's none of my business, right?"

That's the exact opposite of what you usually think, Haruhi.

"Shut up! I don't care if you don't go, okay?"

"I want to go."

"Oh really? Perhaps you were just convinced by Asakura-san! Or maybe you just want to peek at girls when they're in the hot springs, huh?"

"I… Forgot to give in my note. I wanted to go."

Not for the stuff that you said, though.

"… Is that really it?"

I nodded, but she didn't look too convinced.

"Listen, what do I have to do to convince you?"

Definitely, the last thing I need is an upset Haruhi. If I could clear everything up now, it would be for the best - the best of the world, in fact.

Haruhi was resting her chin on the guitar, looking up at me with a thinking look and a pouted mouth. Finally, she lifted her head, and to my surprise, thrusted the guitar out to me.

"Play me a song!"

Say what? I don't know how to play guitar! And how does that help convince you of anything other than my inability to create music?

"Just hold this guitar! I'm going to teach you how to play something!"

I nervously grabbed the guitar, setting it down on my lap.

"You don't hold it like that, idiot! It's like this! Look closely, Kyon!"

I was put through Haruhi's crash course in guitar. Needless to say, Haruhi was not a very good teacher, and I was not a very good learner. I had an afternoon of yelling and the like, and I'm still crap at the guitar. Strangely though, the angst of the school trip was gone. I somehow felt that everything would work out in the end. Why? Good question. Good question indeed.

---

The next day of school came, and during recess, Okabe-sensei called me to speak with him for a moment.

"Well, it's about the school trip. Normally, there'd be nothing we can do, but it seems that you've received some surprising support in order to get you to join the trip."

It must be Tsuruya's family.

"I was actually approached by many people today before school began, all of them insisting that you come along on the trip. Most of them were girls, too! I counted about six girls that practically begged for you to be there!"

What's that supposed to mean? And what's with that look?

"Anyway, there is a way for you to go, although it's a little unconventional. The booking on the boys' hotel cannot be changed; it's already set in their computers. However, we haven't set the girls' hotel yet."

Whoa, wait a minute. Could you mean what I think you mean?

"The girls that approached me all agreed that they'd have no problem with you staying in the girl's hotel, so we've been able to book you a space there."

WHAT?

---

And that's how my problems began. I was given access to the trip, but I'd be staying in the girl's hotel. This was wrong in so many ways… Yet it felt so… No! I shouldn't look too much into this! This is just so that Haruhi doesn't destroy the world! The ones who got me in were the SOS Brigade, Tsuruya, and Asakura probably.

Hang on a minute. He said six girls. I can count five. I'm pretty sure Koizumi wouldn't be mistaken for a girl… And it could've just been a miscount on Okabe-sensei's side… But if it wasn't…

Who could this other girl be?