|I've Loved You All Along
Author: Miranda Panda-chan PM
Oneshot songfic SasuSaku. Dreams are the effects of our imagination...or could they be something more than just that? RxRRated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Angst - Sakura H. & Sasuke U. - Words: 4,164 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Published: 08-03-06 - Status: Complete - id: 3083969
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Nickelback's "Far Away", nor do I own Nickelback.
I've Loved You All Along
Sasuke…she missed him the most, of all the men that had walked out of her life never to return, Sasuke was the one she wanted back. The rest were dead, no matter how much she wanted to deny it, because of her. Sasuke could still be alive; he'd left for Orochimaru and was never seen again. Not to say that the possibility that Orochimaru had killed him or already taken over his body hadn't crossed her mind occasionally, but she had hope, one thing that Kakashi told her to keep on to as he died.Too long, too late
Sasuke looked at the wooden gate in front of him; it wasn't the only thing stopping him from entering the village that he'd betrayed. Eight years had passed since he'd seen these gates, eight long years. Even longer had he not been able to see her smiling face. The memory of her lingered behind his eyes and the image had been burned on to his brain, yet the image was blurred and memories held gaps that could never be replaced without seeing the kunoichi of his childhood. It had been too long since he'd stepped foot on the dusty ground, the moon was full and shining just like it had been on that night, as well as the cherry blossom petals that were being carried on the wind as the scent invaded his senses.
He sighed, wondering if the courage to go inside would ever come to him, or would he stand here until someone caught him. He wanted to see her, just once again if that's all. As long he saw her again, she was the one that made him wake up in a cold sweat; she was the one that made him doubt himself and his intentions. She's the one that distracted him during training, she's the one that whispered words of love to him when he hated himself, she's the one that made him come back to this wretched and weak village that he'd once called home. The people he missed were only a small piece of the puzzle that had brought him back, the rest was the girl.
"Sakura…" he whispered letting the wind carry it away, the very name sent shivers down his spine. The doubt that he carried was tripled at the vocalizing of that name.Just one chance
He made his decision finally as he jumped, entering the village after eight years of absence. There he saw what he'd come for, had come to him. There she was, sitting on the bench, crying just as she had been in his memories. She'd changed drastically from his memory; she had matured nicely. Her curves and her bubblegum pink hair was longer than it had been, but shorter than it had been originally. Oh, how he'd missed her.
He walked silently towards the girl of his memory, running a thumb along her cheek, wiping the tears that came running from her closed eyes. Her sobs were quieted for a moment as she opened those beautifully magical emerald orbs of hers. Those eyes had haunted his every thought and dream, and now all he wanted to do was lose himself in them.
She gasped as she saw the man that had taken her heart, the man that her tears were meant for. His onyx eyes staring into her emerald ones, piercing her soul. She felt her heart lunge for him, she felt her sadness decrease, and her happiness increase ten fold, as she slowly raised herself from her lying position on the bench to sitting. But doubt lingered in the shadows of her mind, 'Could this really be Sasuke, or is this just another illusion, maybe one of the others caught me out here and changed themselves to look like Sasuke to get me to go home!'
"Sakura…" It was a mere whisper in the wind, nothing louder, if she hadn't seen his mouth move it might've been mistaken for something in her memory resurfacing, but that was all it took for all the doubt that had been in her mind to fly out. This was the real Uchiha Sasuke that she loved.
"Sasuke!" she cried, wrapping her arms around his neck in one swift movement, holding him close to her while sobbing her eyes out on his shoulder. He was no a full head over her, and she could feel his muscles beneath his shirt.'Cause you know, you know
Sasuke looked down at the sobbing girl in his arms; he smiled to himself, first smile that had ever crossed his lips in eight years, as he wrapped his arms around her small frame. She was still just as fragile as she was before, but he could feel her strength, her mere presence shouted it. She had been weak before, but he had just made her weaker by pointing out her flaws, maybe that was why without him here, she had finally gained some backbone.
"I love you, Sasuke-kun! I've missed you so much!" she said in between the sobs of happiness. He stroked her hair, kissing the top of her head lightly before answering.
"I've loved you all along."That I love you
Sakura woke up in cold sweat, tears pouring from her tired emerald eyes. It had been a dream, but it had felt so real! She'd thought he was really back, why did she have to wake up, why? Did the gods hate her that much that she couldn't even find happiness in dreams she created herself? Maybe it was better this way though…maybe if she'd stayed in the dream the pain that was throbbing through her broken heart would've been worse, though she seriously doubted it.I keep dreaming you'll be with me
Oh how she wished to see him, eight years, eight long years and in that span of time, she had not once been able to lay eyes on her love. Not even a picture, her pictures of him had been taken, Tsunade-sama had thought it best for her student to not have any reminders of the boy that she'd once known. But sometimes what other people think is best, although with good intentions can backfire rapidly. Sakura didn't come out of her house for a year until Naruto literally dragged her out of the doorway and into the park. She had been getting better, but now the dreams had returned, the dreams where she would wait on the bench for her love by night and he would come and wipe away her tears and her worries. How she wished it were true! She was slowly withering away; Naruto had once made a statement to Kakashi about her slowly dying, that was before they both died. She was a bright blooming flower, and Sasuke was the cold calm water that nourished her, and now that Sasuke had gone, the flower would slowly wither away into nothingness.Stop breathing if
She put on her faded pink housecoat and put on her fuzzy pink slippers that Ino-pig had bought a year before for Sakura's birthday and walked quietly down the stairs. She could have ran down the stairs, or slid down the handlebar, as no one other than herself, who was already awake, could be awoken by the noise inside the small home on the outskirts of the village. She was now in front of the door, all she had to do was turn the doorknob, pull, walk outside, and pull again. It wasn't a difficult task, but she knew that doing this could change everything, maybe her dream was a look into something that could be or is soon to be. Or it could just be her imagination making her life worse than it needed to be. Slowly and quietly to walked through the streets, shivering slightly as it was the middle of December. Small traces of ice could be spotted on various buildings' roofs. She could tell by the weather that it would soon begin raining, she could hear the thunder in the distance. That wouldn't stop her from getting to her destination, she would reach that bench even if she froze to death in the end over a mere dream. She would do anything to see him again.On my knees, I'll ask
She made it; it was official now that she had a severe cold, perhaps ammonia or the flu, she didn't know. Now she sat on the cold stone bench in which all her dreams took place. She watched the gate curiously and intently, almost afraid to blink. She wouldn't dare miss Sasuke coming back, she wouldn't dare walk away until she was proven wrong!
"Sasuke-kun…" she whispered in a sing-song voice, hoping that if he was on the other side of that wooden barrier, he would hear her, and come to her and she, in turn, would welcome in him back with open arms. How foolish she was to believe such, her tears froze as they fell from her chin to the ground. Everyone would stay in doors today, it was too cold for missions and such to be dispatched on a day like this, even ANBU couldn't fight sickness and death as easily as they could enemies. She made a hiccuping noise as she sobbed quietly; dreaming was foolish, hoping he was here was foolish, believing he'd come back was foolish, and in the end…she was foolish. How could Sasuke want to come back to her when he never liked, much less loved, her in the first place. He trained and spoke on special occasions, but no more than a sentence or two. This time, she wouldn't wake up, this was no dream either, she would wait here until either she died or her Sasuke-kun came back. And if anyone disturbed her, she would rip their throats out! She sighed, she was being immature, and selfish considering her position as one of the top medic nins in the country. But here she was, freezing herself in an attempt to wait for her seemingly lost love.Cause with you, I'd withstand
Sasuke had seen it before, he'd been here for about a week, waiting, watching, wanting…the wooden barrier that took its place before him, the only thing that blocked him from his goal. No, physically it was easily surpassed. Mentally is why he was still on the other side. Jumping over this gate would be going against everything he'd tried to maintain. His arrogance and pride kept getting him in deep shit, but this was the deepest he'd ever been.
"Damn gate…" he mumbled, how the hell was he supposed to reach his goal if his goal went against everything he'd ever stood for? Easy, he just had to strip himself of his rank and his honor; which wasn't something he wanted to do. He'd come all the way out here, in the middle of December, just to see that wench. That accursed annoying immature girl of his childhood was the only thing on the other side of this damn wooden gate!Cause you know, you know
Sakura was sobbing harder by now, shivering to keep warm, coughing because she was now sick, and sobbing because her heart was now being torn in two. What she thought had been a sign was now just another trick. Just like everything else in her life…her gullibility was unbelievable. She could've sworn something, anything could be better than night by night having the same dream…she now knew, that indeed that wasn't the case. The saying, "It is better to have love and lost, than to have never loved at all," was terribly mistaken. Obviously, their love wasn't unrequited or pure if that was how he or she truly felt.
"Sasuke-kun!" she shouted, her ragged voice echoed off the walls, she thanked the gods that this was a rather remote area (1).That I love you
Sasuke's eyes widened as he heard his name being shouted right inside the walls of Konoha. That voice…
"Sakura…?" a mere whisper was all it was, as he let the name get carried on the wind. What was she doing out this late at night? Didn't she know how cold it was? Didn't she know that she could catch her death in this kind of weather? Didn't she know that he wasn't worth waiting for?
So far away
Been far away for far too long
Sasuke jumped the gate, it seemed time slowed as he glanced at the shivering bundle of Sakura on the same cold bench. He landed, not taking time to reminisce on the fact that he hadn't laid a foot in this place for eight years. He ran to Sakura, who was only in a sheer nightgown and housecoat with pink bunny slippers. He slowly reached a hand out to touch her, to make sure that she was indeed the real thing and not just his eyes playing tricks on him, because if it was his eyes he would gouge them out himself for picturing such a horrible image.
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know
Sakura stopped sobbing for a moment, and looked up, her lips a tent of blue as well as the tips of her fingers.
"Sasuke-kun…?" she asked warily, her eyelids drooping slightly. She sneezed and coughed a little only to look back up at him, she reached a hand up to touch his cheek, she flinched at the sudden warmth, as he flinched at the sudden cold.
"Sakura, if you stay out here much longer, you're going to freeze to death, and then what good would it serve if I was really here or not?" he asked a little more coldly than he wanted (No pun intended). She smiled softly at him.
"I knew you'd come back…I knew that it meant more than being just a dream…" she said to herself.
"Of all the stupid things! Did you actually come out here because you had a dream where you were out here?" But the answer wasn't heard as Sakura had already passed out. If he hadn't been there, she would've froze to death on that bench, but he was there, and knew exactly where to find her house, and had enough medical knowledge to know to place her by a fire, so she could warm up.
Sasuke had made a fire in the fireplace, and had even made hot chocolate ((A/N: awww…)) and poured it in two mugs. Sakura was wrapped in a many blankets as he could find in her house, and was now groaning slightly from her aching muscles. Sasuke had a blanket of his own, which he had wrapped around his shoulders as he sat across from her on the beige carpeted floor.
He sipped from the cup quietly and stared into the flames, watching them intently. Sakura had sat up and had taken her mug of hot chocolate and thanked him profusely. She smiled as she sipped from her cup, looking at the liquid.
"I knew you'd come back…" she whispered happily as she took another sip. Sasuke averted his eyes from the flames to the pink haired kunoichi in front of him, he glared at her pointedly, looking directly into her eyes.
"How?" he finally asked.
"Hm?" she said, her grin disappearing from sight. Sasuke was almost disappointed.
"How did you know I was coming back? Better yet, why did you go out there, in the middle of night in December when it's cold and the ice hanging off everything is obvious? Exactly what were you thinking Sakura? If I hadn't been there you would have-!"
"But you were there, Sasuke-kun. Ifs and buts aren't what matters, I wanted you to stay in the first place, if you had none of this would have happened. But, I don't know that for sure, so it's hardly worth the effort to think about it for too long. So why should you think about what might or could have happened if you hadn't been there, because you were there and that's the fact of why we are here at this moment together." She said calmly, looking back down and refusing to meet his eyes.
I wanted you to stay
"Hn." They went on sitting by the fire, Sakura had to call in sick for work at the hospital, and fixed them instant ramen noodles and they ate in silence. After about two hours of complete and utter silence, Sakura spoke.
"You know, when you left, I told you that I loved you with all my heart. Even though I was a mere child with a crush some might say. My words were and still are genuine. I really do love you, and that's probably why I went out there in the first place. I've been having these dreams, for about a week a now, where I'm sitting on the bench after some mission and suddenly you just appear and say you're here to stay. It's a silly dream, but that I went out there. I just had a feeling that there was something more to it that my dream didn't add on to it." She said quietly, looking at the bright orange and red flames.
"Idiot." Sasuke turned to stare at the girl and immediately regretted saying that one word. Sakura's eyes had a heartbroken look to them now, 'She'll get over it like she always does though, so there's no point in worrying'. He thought to himself, but he that didn't help him not feel guilty.
"Maybe so, Sasuke-kun. Maybe you're right, maybe I am an idiot. The fact is, you're all I have left, and without you, I'd die."
"What about Naruto? Kakashi? Bushy brow?"
"They're all dead. I couldn't save them, they all died on the same mission, including Neji-kun." She said softly, not much louder than a whisper.
"But you know the real reason I wanted you to stay, Sasuke-kun?" Sasuke rolled his eyes at this, not really wanting to give a response to such a dull and unwanted question.
"Because, I hoped that maybe one day, you would love me the same way I love you."
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
It had been two hours since Sakura had once again professed her love to the Uchiha. Now she was leaned against the cushioned couch as she sat on the floor sleeping soundly. Sasuke watched her with interest, how- after all this time- could she still say that she loved him? It just wasn't right. He didn't deserve it! So remind me again as to why he was smiling softly at the sleeping girl in front of him? Yes, he was smiling at Sakura.
"I've loved you all along." He whispered quietly getting up to sit on the couch.
That I love you
I have loved you all along
Sakura moved a little as the weight of Sasuke moved the cushion her head was leaned against slightly.
"How could you forgive me, Sakura? I left you here for eight years without a care, and I pushed you away and insulted you every chance I got. Yet here I am, with you in your house, and you've confessed you're love for me yet again."
"I love you Sasuke-kun, that's how come I could never be mad at you." She mumbled, Sasuke's eyes widened at this and thought she'd been playing a trick on him or something, but no, she was still sound asleep, probably dreaming of him.
And I forgive you
For being away for far to long
He picked her up gently, putting her in his lap bridal style. Her head rested on his shoulder as her arms moved on instinct to wrap themselves around his neck. He smiled softly as she nuzzled his neck, and smiled tugged at her lips. Even when she was asleep, she wouldn't hesitate to show how much she loved Sasuke, even if she had no idea what was going on.
"I here now, and that's what matters. I'm here just for you, so you can't wither away. I won't be leaving anymore." He stated, holding her a little closer to his chest and tightening his grip before letting it slacken. He kissed forehead, before leaning back and closing his own eyes and falling asleep with Sakura safely tucked away in his arms.
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving
Hold on to me and
Never let me go