The Bummer Beginning

To Bea- I love chocolate and you did too, but you said that wasn’t a good reason to get married.

Chapter One

If you like fairies and cute bunnies, then why the hell are you reading this? Burn this book and throw it out. But I still get the money, because you paid for the book! So ha, ha, ha! Please keep buying my books! I don’t want to live in a shack again!

Anyways, three charming intelligent kids were at a beach. Also it was cloudy so no one in his or her right minds would go there. However, these kids did because no one else was there.

Vanessa Bauderare was the eldest. She was the greatest 14-year-old inventor, known to retards. She always tied her up with a bloody old rag. The rag helped keep the hair out of her eyes so she could see.

Klaud Bauderare was 12 and the middle child. He was this ouber genius; who memorized everything he read or wrote. He always wore his glasses and liked them extra nerdy! He hated glasses that made him look good.

Sammy Bauderare was the youngest; she was just an infant. She had a knack for biting things with, her four sabre tooth teeth. I mean they were freaky. She could bite objects into odd shapes; she liked to make sculptures.

Now like I said before, you really shouldn’t read this book. But I’m just using reverse psychology, so then you will want to read it. Oh, I shouldn’t have told you that. Anyways, some bad stuff was going to happen.

Oh yah, just so you know Sammy has her own language.

“Yable gooble!” Sammy cried.

Which meant something like, “Look at the overweight figure coming toward us. I hope the thing doesn’t eat us!”

“Klaud pick up some rocks, lets try throwing it at the monster.” Vanessa grabbed a handful of rocks.

“We can make it into a game. Ten points if you can hit his leg, twenty if you hit his stomach and thirty if you hit his head.” Klaus said whipping a rock at his leg.

Vanessa got his stomach and Sammy got his other leg.

“Stop it! Bauderare’s it’s me, Mr. Pan! Ow, who hit my head?” Mr. Pan came in to view; he had scratches all over him.

Mr. Pan was very fat and worked at a boring bank. He was an associate of the Bauderares’ parents. He was only their friend, so the Bauderares’ parents could get free insurance.

“Wicked day isn’t it.” Mr. Pan said looking to the sky.

“Well it does look like it could rain.” Vanessa replied.

“Yes, it does look that way. Oh by the way your parents died in a fire. Your mansion and parents are gone.” Mr. Pan said casually.

“What the hell? You mean I’m an orphan! That sucks.” Klaud said and slapped Mr. Pan.

“But I don’t want to live in a relative’s house. It won’t be as big as our mansion. It won’t be as clean and no room service twenty-four/seven!” Vanessa also slapped Mr. Pan.

“Rewbo!” Sammy said and slapped Mr. Pan.

She meant something along the lines, “ How dare you say our parents are dead, so casually!”

“You brats need to learn some manners. I mean you’re so rich, couldn’t you have at least bought some manners?” Mr. Pan said rubbing his sore face.

“Shut up Pan! Now when will I be of age to get the cash?” Vanessa demanded.

“When you’re eighteen you little-”

“Hey don’t think of calling my sister a bad name! Sure everyone has wanted to at some point, even I have. But still you don’t mess with the person who’s getting the money.” Klaud interrupted.

“Uatek.” Sammy said rolling her eyes.

She probably meant, “I’ve been calling her names for a year, she just didn’t understand what I said.”

“Well come on children you three are spending the week with me. I’ll be looking for family to take you in.” Mr. Pan sighed.

The Bauderares got into the back of Mr. Pan’s car. It was quite crowded, so every time he turned a corner they’d fall on one another.

The Bauderares just knew it was going to get worse.

By: Izzi13